The aging homesteader

A quiet piece of land, a garden, and a hut.  That's my aging homesteader's goal.  In my late 50s, I still negotiate with my back each day.  Lots of stuff to get done on the land.  My back and I usually agree on the type of fulcrums, winches, and 2x4 scaffolds I come up with to cover for my physical decline.  I gave up my plans to change the world long ago, and have given up all the "some day" hopium that plagued my 40s, which were both far worse on my back than sacks of concrete.

Coming to terms with physical limitations is literally a pain.  I have found the older I get, the longer it takes for that pain to go away.  For me, the best approach is prevention through careful planning. Not getting injured, or further injured, in the first place seems like a reasonable idea.

I finally figured how to get an old water heater out of my basement without me falling or the darned thing ending up on top of me. It took 2 come-alongs and a tow strap. But, the water heater is on the back deck and I am not in the hospital

John F Dean wrote:........I finally figured how to get an old water heater out of my basement without me falling or the darned thing ending up on top of me. It took 2 come-alongs and a tow strap. But, the water heater is on the back deck and I am not in the hospital

Glad to hear of the success, John!  I will be doing the same soon enough with a rusty and aged water heater....hopefully not until next year.  What is the plan now that it's out on the deck?  I have an old wood-burning stove sitting out of the front deck....for the third straight year! :-/  Wife says gotta go before the snow flies, so I'm thinking it will be on Craigslist or FB Marketplace soon.  So grateful for tractors and winches available.  Along those lines, if you don't have one, I can much recommend the 'Pullz-All' style plug-in winches.  Cost is a few hundred bucks, but another good helper to save your back.  We've even used it to pull large deceased animals out of stalls when the tractor would have had no room to aid in the tasks.  That said, I continue to use come-alongs as well with tow straps and chains as you noted.  They come in especially handy when you don't want a tree you are felling to land on the house!

Hi John,

In another thread I asked about its uses. In terms of my needs, I think I will try to use it for outside water storage.  The theory presented was that just because it leaked under pressure does not mean it will leak without pressure.

I’m so glad i remembered this thread on this great site!

I had a very rough day in town yesterday.

I spent most of my life being very patient and very kind.  Now, at the three quarters of a century mark, all too often I find myself frustrated with others, and with situations and with what the world has become.  I lose my patience, and in the aftermath find myself wanting to say “I wish you knew me when I was nice”.

It doesn’t matter whether I was right or justified etc, I still feel defeated that I was impatient and, or that some other person was upset.  Then follows an overarching feeling of general hopelessness, the “take me now!” feeling. Anyone else ever feel that one?🤣

This morning I awoke in the same dark discouraged frame of mind as I felt after yesterday’s experiences in which I answered the same question 5 times, what is the point of answering it again, what’s needed here is that you listen to what I am saying…  followed by “register for the vaccine on your smartphone” (I am required to have a smartphone?  We’re here, you are going to administer the vaccine, what’s my phone got to do with it?)… followed by “we need you to complete this legal document about medicare” which doesn’t say anything about medicare, it’s a page and a half of legalese, all about beneficiaries, and what’s that got to do with the business at hand?

This morning I ended up here on permies.  I read a years long thread about persimmons, a fruit which I love, and it was so nice to feel revived, and re enter the world of growing things and sharing things, and the reality of unalterable natural processes.

Then I remembered the existence of this thread where us oldies can discuss our adaptations to the challenges, adventures and realities of aging.

I wonder how others deal with self centered newbies to the adult world, who are not yet ready to perform the duties they have taken on.  Not saying every emerging adult is self centered, there are plenty of helpful competent people both young and old out there.

I’m sure the very recent death of my sister contributes to my current frustrations, and the fact that her death reawakens in me, the experiences of the diverse and extreme abuse we shared, but these are just part of the aging process aren’t they?  We lose people, we remember past traumatic experiences, and there’s more loss to come!

Speaking for myself I can say sometimes I want empathy that isn’t there.  Sometimes I feel disoriented in what seems a foreign culture.  Sometimes I despair for the future.

I take refuge and reaffirm my hopes and beliefs  by planting seeds and gardens, and trees whose fruit I will not eat.  

Anyone have any additional suggestions or strategies for when the going gets tough?  

I make a point to remember that I was much more confident about what I knew when I was 20.   I find I have very little knowledge now.

Also being at the 3/4 of a century mark, I find when when I get into my “whatever happened to…” moods, much too often the person is dead.

Thekla McDaniels wrote: I had a very rough day in town yesterday.

Sending empathy and understanding vibes.

My sister had to go to the next city over to hers to visit a specific bank. Parking could *only* be paid with an ap on a cell phone. She doesn't own a cell phone.

I've seen many seniors embrace technology and see all its good sides. But the cost to an individual on a limited budget is huge. My phone is barely 7 years old and is considered "old". Somewhere in a box, we have an old Bell, rotary dial phone, and if we hauled it out, I guarantee it would still work physically - not sure whether we could still make it interact with the phone company! But the physical phone is in the order of 60 years old and looks perfectly fine!

Hi Jay,

This past summer my IPhone6 was taking its final breaths. I could not get on the net with it, get email, receive text messages, get weather reports, etc. so, I traded it in. It caused a bit of a commotion at the store. It was well over 10 years old. The kids behind the counter said it was the oldest phone they had seen there.   I really dislike the replacement. Frankly, I  would like to go back to the flip phone I had.

Thekla McDaniels wrote: I find myself frustrated...  I lose my patience..... in the aftermath ... I still feel defeated ... Then follows an overarching feeling of general hopelessness, the “take me now!” feeling.

Boy do I hear you. I find myself thinking in horror "i've become my grandmother!" and angry that I yelled at someone who cut me off or was nasty when I could have been nice.

then I remember, i'm still human. I will try to do better tomorrow. Just the fact that I feel bad about it means I'm on the right track.
I'm trying to be fair to myself, which maybe sounds facetious or false, but I can only try to do my best and move on.

I hope your days are increasingly better tomorrow and beyond.

I caught a case of the stupids yesterday. I felt great and put in a long day. I did take a few breaks. My wife insisted I come in at dark. I wasn’t very happy about her messing up my workday, but I did comply.  I took a half hour nap, had supper and chilled for a couple of hours.  A little over 3 hours after came in side I took my pulse..it was 93.  For a baseline, normally it is 67 an hour after I get up in the morning. God only knows what it peaked at.

On the plus side, I got a hell of a lot accomplished.

John F Dean wrote:I caught a case of the stupids yesterday. I felt great and put in a long day. I did take a few breaks. My wife insisted I come in at dark. I wasn’t very happy about her messing up my workday, but I did comply.  I took a half hour nap, had supper and chilled for a couple of hours.  A little over 3 hours after came in side I took my pulse..it was 93.  For a baseline, normally it is 67 an hour after I get up in the morning. God only knows what it peaked at.

On the plus side, I got a hell of a lot accomplished.

🤣
I wonder how that compares to a “stress test”.

But from the empathy side, Great to get things accomplished!  And scary to have the pulse stay up!  
I wonder if what drove your pulse up and kept it up was something other than the physical work…. might even have been a contributing factor in the “stupids” attack.  We’re all different, so this may not apply to you, but many people do try to soothe an internal “unconscious“ feeling of conflict, worry, tension, unease, whatever by applying themselves to something physical and tangible, essentially choosing a context where they do have some control, and can see consequences to their efforts, and can experience satisfaction.

How did you sleep? And how’s your pulse this morning?

My pulse going up is not nearly so much of a concern as it staying up.   I do have a visit with my MD already scheduled.  I suspect he will tell me I am doing fine for my age.   I would rather be doing fine for any age.

Thekla writes,

Anyone have any additional suggestions or strategies for when the going gets tough?  

I find that this mantra helps me cope (and regain my sense of humor):

Forgiveness
Understanding
Courage
Kindness
!

@johnfdean re: "Frankly, I  would like to go back to the flip phone I had."

You can more easily do that these days.  Part of my work is supporting 250± mobility devices.  Many people, both young and older, are dropping the "smart" devices and going back to flip phones.  They allow for greater peace of mind in many ways.  At any rate, because they are popular again, the industry is supporting with more options.  So, take a look and make the switch if you want to go that route. 👍

I find it increasingly harder to save for a homestead of my own. I know many people are in the same exact boat. All I can say with certainty is that if we do not work together and for eachother we will eventually be stripped of the ability.

Welcome to permies, Tristan!

John F Dean wrote:I caught a case of the stupids yesterday. ....
On the plus side, I got a hell of a lot accomplished.

my husband had a case of these yesterday. decided to undertake some crazy projects in insane heat yesterday. i had to keep interrupting my own work to get him to take basic heat protection measures (wet scarf on neck, drinking water, hat wearing, etc) and even so, by afternoon he had that heat exhaustion-melting-away thing happening. I was the one out mowing in the noonday sun, but also with no exposed skin and all the protection. He's not quite realized that as a 55+ he no longer has the capacity to do this stuff without consequences, unless he takes preventive measures. I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't been hounding him about what he should be doing.

Of course, it is winter up here.  My wife and I have been on a major clutter reduction project.  I was expecting to find many things we didn’t need. I have also found many things we needed and didn’t use. Chief among these are three rolls of insulation in the attic. Now I am trying to figure out the reason I didn’t unroll them in place … if there is a reason.

John F Dean wrote:....Now I am trying to figure out the reason I didn’t unroll them in place … if there is a reason.

In an inverted corollary to this observation, I find that the best way to find a lost item on the property is to go buy a new one....the old one will magically appear just as soon as you've used the new one past the point of being able to return it!  ...  ;-)

John F Dean wrote:Of course, it is winter up here.  My wife and I have been on a major clutter reduction project.  I was expecting to find many things we didn’t need. I have also found many things we needed and didn’t use. Chief among these are three rolls of insulation in the attic. Now I am trying to figure out the reason I didn’t unroll them in place … if there is a reason.

The reason is likely that it was never the MOST important thing to do, until you lost track of it altogether!  At least that’s how it works at my place.😁

John Weiland wrote:

In an inverted corollary to this observation, I find that the best way to find a lost item on the property is to go buy a new one....the old one will magically appear just as soon as you've used the new one past the point of being able to return it!  ...  

Yup!  Me too!  The people at the hardware store, wherever I live know this about me and are kind

Wiring!!  My mind is like a steel trap!   I held off on unrolling the insulation because I wanted to do some wiring.  Then, a heat wave hit… so working in the attic was off limits.  So, it looks like reasonable weather for attic work now.

John F Dean wrote:Wiring!! ...  So, it looks like reasonable weather for attic work now.

Quick - before it's too cold to work safely!

Thekla McDaniels wrote:

John Weiland wrote:

In an inverted corollary to this observation, I find that the best way to find a lost item on the property is to go buy a new one....the old one will magically appear just as soon as you've used the new one past the point of being able to return it!  ...  ;-)

Yup!  Me too!  The people at the hardware store, wherever I live know this about me and are kind

Second corollary--for winter climate application:  If you've lost something in the snow, search for it with your snowblower.  Like a metal detector, only more efficient, it will suck up and "notify" you of lost item being present.  No annoying beeps either....it will kill your engine pronto! :-)