I'm a feminist because....

I'm a feminist because...

I was raised by an extraordinary one! She fought for women's rights, and empowerment from the early 70's right up to her last days at the end of 2017.

Elle, my neighbor is a stay-at-home dad.
When they moved in, I went to meet them and learned that she worked in a doctor's office, and he was home with the kids (two preschool boys). That didn't phase me at all... "oh, cool" I thought (might have even said it out loud.)


“When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” and "Equality can feel like oppression. But it is not. What you're feeling is just the discomfort of losing just a little bit of your privilege.", these quotes explain a lot.


As far as names go... I remember (at least what I believe to be... I was young, but surrounded by this stuff...) the advent of "Ms." and "womyn"... One became accepted (mostly) and the other fell on deaf ears (a bit too avant garde? snarky? malcontent?).

Ms. versus Mrs. and Miss, takes away the (male) controlling differentiation between married or un-married (read: available or not [property or not]) that is not even considered or disclosed with Mr. for a man.
Imagine not having to be "outed", and judged, by your title...

Jan White wrote:It reminds me of a guy in my high school who decided, I think maybe to make some sort of point about something, to wear skirts and dresses to school for a while.  His point was never made because no one really paid any attention.  He got a few comments in the hallways in between classes at the beginning, but it was fun and nonjudgmental, nothing that put him on the spot or made him uncomfortable.

That has been my experience. I was super disappointed the first time I wore a kilt in permies, and nobody seemed to notice or care. People didn't comment about my looks when I dressed as a conservative mormon farmer. I get all sorts of compliments when I wear non-typical clothing or hairstyles.  

Joseph Lofthouse wrote:

My favorite part of your pic post is that it's not the thumbnail for this post and that's just awesome. lol

Kenneth Elwell wrote:[b]

Elle, my neighbor is a stay-at-home dad.
When they moved in, I went to meet them and learned that she worked in a doctor's office, and he was home with the kids (two preschool boys). That didn't phase me at all... "oh, cool" I thought (might have even said it out loud.)

Wyoming is all about the cowboy though. That rugged masculinity. Even though we brand ourselves the equality state. In truth, they only allowed women to vote because we needed more people, and women, to become a state. It was a trick!

Greg Mamishian wrote:

Greg Martin wrote:"If God gave you the ability to do something who is man to go against that"

I hope you don't say that to the person who robs your house. (lol)

With you there Greg.  That's what the "except when people are harming others" part of my statement was for.  Those folks get controlled by whatever it takes!!!

Just fooling around, Greg.

Elle, how about telling them how you are both very happy with the arrangement.

Something like:
You both love the time you get to spend with your children, and it's a way for him to spend more. Ditto with the homestead.
You found a job you enjoy/love/is your dream job, and him...not so much.
So, you choose to both be happy about your work/careers, and it makes you happier at home.
Maybe it's even a gift to you from him that you get to follow a passion in your work, and from you to him to not make him go to a job he hates?
Now you share good funny stories about your days, instead of complaints and silence.

My mother had a job that she loved, working in the foreign student office at MIT, and left it because of my father's career promotions/relocations which was a string of 5 moves around the country every couple of years while raising my brother.
When they finally moved back to Massachusetts, she was offered her old job at MIT back... they even made it "mother's hours" so she was able to still get everything done, and she was happy.
My father was not. He forced her to quit after maybe six months. Who knows if he was jealous (of young foreign students) or envious of her being happy at work, or uncomfortable explaining to his colleagues what his wife was up to...

After I was born, and after her divorce, she founded a battered women's shelter (she reached out for help and found none, so she changed that!) and worked at that for 10 years until she was burnt out.
She had an office job for a few years, and then after being laid off, found her dream job.

As a child, she wanted to be an astronomer... sorry, but that wasn't for "girls"... (and don't get Mom started on calling women "girls"!!)
She got to work as administrative assistant to 3 astronomers/astrophysicists at the Harvard-Smithsonian observatory.
She kept them organized, prepared, planned their travel, booked telescope time, and her favorite... pored over telescope images to classify galaxies for mapping the universe!

Kenneth Elwell wrote:Elle, how about telling them how you are both very happy with the arrangement.

Something like:
You both love the time you get to spend with your children, and it's a way for him to spend more. Ditto with the homestead.
You found a job you enjoy/love/is your dream job, and him...not so much.
So, you choose to both be happy about your work/careers, and it makes you happier at home.
Maybe it's even a gift to you from him that you get to follow a passion in your work, and from you to him to not make him go to a job he hates?
Now you share good funny stories about your days, instead of complaints and silence.

Oh I do. And play up to the wonderfulness of having a hot meal ready to be served when I get home. If what I'm experiencing is what men have always experienced it would be hard to give up! lol

Dillon Nichols wrote:It is a secular movement, and other definitions I've seen are more explicitly anti-religion, among other things.

...which plays right into the hands of religious patriarchy. There are and have been plenty of women with strong minds, who have done empowering things, but rejected the word feminist because to them it meant anti-religion. And religious patriarchs like it that way, because it means women of faith are less likely to discover what feminism is really about.

As an aside: abortion is a real hot potato in this issue. Its supporters speak of "forced pregnancy," for instance. Well, if that is their experience, who am I to say otherwise? But my mother would never have bought it. Her experience was that she cherished every pregnancy, and felt it was a real child as soon as she was aware that it was there. In her mind, women who had abortions were cold-hearted child killers. Is her experience less valid?

Chris Kott wrote:I'm not a feminist because that brand of thinking, in my opinion, suggests a zero-sum game.

It doesn't have to. Compare it to, say, Black Lives Matter. No one in that movement is denying that all lives matter; it's just that black lives, in particular, have been treated as if they don't matter. There is no reason to assume that recognizing that black lives matter requires one to treat non black lives as if they do not.

I am a feminist because I appreciate what I as a male take for granted, that women as yet cannot. I worked swing shift for a while. Got off work at midnight, and walked home, twelve blocks, alone -- and was not afraid. How many women can do that? That is what male privilege looks like. And it shouldn't be a privilege of one gender; it should be expected by everyone. I embrace the word feminist because it calls attention to the problems specific to being female.