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Making Space For People to Let Go of Painful Emotions

 
garden master
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In Are We Done Fighting? by Matthew Legge, one way of providing space for people to let go of painful emotions and memories is elegantly demonstrated by the example of Marina Abramovic's performance The Artist is Present. She sits on one side of the table, and someone in the public sits across. They share eye-contact without speaking and many feelings are passed just by being in the presence of another person and sharing a gaze.



In this article about Marina's performance, these were some of the experiences people felt:

Heather Rose wrote:When the man finally left the chair, Levin watched him walk to the back of the atrium and lean his forehead against the wall. Levin wanted to go ask the man what had happened as he sat. How had it felt? But to do so, he realized, would be like asking a stranger what he prayed for...

A hush descended on the atrium. It became evident that the young man was weeping. It wasn’t a dramatic gesture. Tears were running down his face while his glistening angel eyes continued to gaze at the woman. After some time, the woman began to weep in the same silent passive way. The weeping went on as if they could both see they must settle for losing something.



What are other ways to provide space for someone?
 
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Being in the same space can lead to great communication, as long as there is attention and listening.

Giving time is the greatest thing we can give.
 
master pollinator
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Permies has a great feature for this: Private Messages.

As people know, I am extremely frustrated right now because I do not know where to take my farm next with my chronic medical condition, and yet several people responded to me in Private Message. I need to have my bottom belted for not getting back to everyone, but there were several that had incredibly important things to say.

One woman who wanted to stay out of the public, mentioned coming to terms with disability as being the same thing as the grieving process. Considering I am a workaholic, that made a lot of sene, so Private Messages can really be a way to help someone.

Private Messages: Called Mooseages on here.
 
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We all just want to be seen.  Thanks for sharing this.
 
pollinator
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Joe Moon wrote:Giving time is the greatest thing we can give.


This is true. I often say "take all the time you need".

I trained in somatic Experiencing. We let go of emotions, but at embodiment level, and this is more tan emotions actually.

Once in  a practise, we lost time and I was left with barely 10 mns instead of 30... So we just started at once. I had the idea... I said exactly this:

"I know you know this, that we need to take time, but how does it feel if I tell you that though we have Little time, you can take all the time you need?"

She took a deep emotional breath and sighed. Then it was with very little talking but reflecting what was happening, and it felt like waves going up and easily discharged! I saw in the eyes how much everybody was stunned at seeing it! Sometimes we do not even do that much in 1 full hour session!

Letting go is to allow the wave of sympathetic activation to grow and resolve by itself in parasympathetic, without staying stuck in the activation and without dissociating from the intensity. More easily said than done!
 
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