Incorporating kids in homesteading

So ideas on the best ways to get kids working but more importantly interested and loving, homesteading, permaculture and animal husbandry. I have 8 children 18-4 and want to include all of them. I’d even like the little one to have his own job. We’re just in the planning stage for buying land and building coming this fall so I’d like to get them excited and get their studies to incorporate their specific jobs. So what can each kids do in those specific age ranges that you’ve had work for you. I’ve watched some of Joel Salatins advice but would like any other thoughts on the subject. Also it has to be things that don’t involve much from my husband as he’ll be paying for our grand adventure but his job is such that he won’t get a lot of time on the farm while we’re setting it up.

Well you have to find out what they are passionate about first. Sure, I can make my kids do something but it'll be a battle and not well done. So, finding what they like is point #1.

My middle daughter has always liked the planting process and watering things. My 2 year old, last year obviously just 1, also likes watering things and water in general. So I would just put her where I wanted something watered, give her the hose and go weed or something. My son does a lot of wood hauling and I can trust him to feed the pigs without being squished. I'm not worried about biting but they aren't the brightest bunch and I worry more that they'll squish them on accident.

Anyway, that's kid stuff. Honestly if I can get them to occupy themselves so I can do things that's enough for me.



My biggest advice is GO SLOW! Start with a small garden, a couple egg laying chickens. If you jump in and get all the things without the structure or education you will turn your homestead dream into a homestead nightmare. Just add one thing on a year, as you get all the knowledge and tools.

I would suggest a lot of cross training.  I had a friend who set up her two eldest girls with specific chores. It worked great, until it didn't. With eight children, the parents had to spend a lot of time at the hospital with one of the baby twins. One daughter knew the baby stuff, the other knew the kitchen stuff. The household ran decently during the emergency. Then the flu hit the household. Dad discovered the deficiency.

When baby came home to stay, mom had to whip the neglected things into shape, while switching the girls' responsibilities. While caring for the little ones. Whew!

You do not want to the only one who knows how to do all the chores!

Elle, we’ve been doing small homesteading on 1 acre for the past 3 years and currently have goats. We’ve also done milk cows, chickens, ducks, pigs and gardening in the past so I know exactly of what you speak when you say homesteading dreams into nightmares. My kids are really good ,now the the majority are older, to just do jobs because they have to be done but I guess my question is how do you find there interest in this world of electronics? I’ve learned the infrastructure has to be there first but then, like Joel says to give them a part that is there’s to learn on, take care of and reap the benefit/ money from. My kids are incredibly good at making sure things get taken care of until things get busy or change for some reason, then things get sick or die and they don’t want to do it anymore. How do I get them to understand that those are all just part of the learning curve and that it’s rewarding also?

Joylynn I completely understand that, and my kids are actually really good at taking each other’s slack when the need arises. Because I was in a very similar situation as the family you mentioned. I love the thought of my kids claiming ownership of a specific animal or group of animals and knowing they will reap the benefit from it, maybe even make a small business out of it. I’m just not sure how to help each of them find that thing on the homestead that they’ll get excited about and follow through with as much as kids can. In the past it’s always landed on my shoulders and I know if we’re going to do this that it has to be all of us.

Kathleen said, "We’re just in the planning stage for buying land and building coming this fall so I’d like to get them excited and get their studies to incorporate their specific jobs. So what can each kids do in those specific age ranges that you’ve had work for you.

Why not ask the kids what they are interested in?

Then maybe make a list of specific jobs that you feel your kids would like to choose from.

Maybe a spreadsheet would work to visualize what each kid is interested in.

Which kids are interested in goats, chickens, or rabbits, etc.?

Which kids want to grow vegetables, water the garden, or harvest the vegetable, etc.?

Which kids want to have kitchen chores or which kids want outside chores?

Does your family currently use a calendar and a reward system?

Since I only had two kids, Our daughter mowed the grass around the house with the garden tractor, and our son feed and water the animals.  At least that is all I can remember.

Best wishes on the up coming homestead.

Anne Miller wrote:

Why not ask the kids what they are interested in?

Then maybe make a list of specific jobs that you feel your kids would like to choose from.

Maybe a spreadsheet would work to visualize what each kid is interested in.

Which kids are interested in goats, chickens, or rabbits, etc.?

Which kids want to grow vegetables, water the garden, or harvest the vegetable, etc.?

Which kids want to have kitchen chores or which kids want outside chores?

Does your family currently use a calendar and a reward system?

Since I only had two kids, Our daughter mowed the grass around the house with the garden tractor, and our son feed and water the animals.  At least that is all I can remember.

Best wishes on the up coming homestead.

Thank you Anne, I love these ideas. I have discussed it some with the kids but maybe watching some more how to videos to see which ones really are drawn to what aspect. I also think Joylynn’s right and we need to make sure everyone actually knows how to do each job just for those times life throws a curve ball.

Kathleen Nelson wrote:Elle, we’ve been doing small homesteading on 1 acre for the past 3 years and currently have goats. We’ve also done milk cows, chickens, ducks, pigs and gardening in the past so I know exactly of what you speak when you say homesteading dreams into nightmares. My kids are really good ,now the the majority are older, to just do jobs because they have to be done but I guess my question is how do you find there interest in this world of electronics? I’ve learned the infrastructure has to be there first but then, like Joel says to give them a part that is there’s to learn on, take care of and reap the benefit/ money from. My kids are incredibly good at making sure things get taken care of until things get busy or change for some reason, then things get sick or die and they don’t want to do it anymore. How do I get them to understand that those are all just part of the learning curve and that it’s rewarding also?

Well if they aren't interested in homesteading you can't make them. Neither of my older children want to join 4-H. They just aren't interested in raising animals or any of the other stuff. It's huge in our area so their lack of interest is interesting. My son does want to taste duck though. He's been quite adamant about it. So I think we'll go to the feed store this weekend and see if he wants to get some ducks to raise, see what happens. Maybe he'll take to it, maybe he won't. For his future, I don't see land. I see him being a game developer and living in a city and that's ok. I imagine he'll try to get a job in town when he's of age and that's also ok. My middle child might own land some day and she might be a farmers market seller because that girl can sell, sell, sell. She's an entrepreneur at heart. But she might also start a business in town and never own land, which is fine. Who knows on the youngest.

If the problem is their latched to electronics that is an easy fix. Take them away. Phones are a privilege, not a right. Kids cell phone usage can send me on a rant, I'll try not to. My kids earn electronic time. My son already mentioned wanting to play Minecraft with his friend tonight. I have a big project going and he knows that 1 wheelbarrow of gravel = 1 hour of electronics. We'll see how motivated he is to play. Sometimes he'll fill up 3 wheelbarrows fast as lightening and sometimes he looks out the window and goes to grab his army men.

Our middle child was determined to have a pet rabbit. She escaped from her cage one day and was killed by our dog. So we got another rabbit, fixed up the cage and damn if that rabbit didn't get out too. Clearly I can't build to save my life. This time she went under the porch. Hubs and I went out and caught her once and put her back. Our daughter never cared to try to catch her and put her back and she knew very well the dogs would kill her if she was caught. She got out again awhile later and we decided she was our daughters and she'd have to do it herself. She never did, dogs killed the rabbit. No more rabbits. So if your kids are neglecting animals and they're dying, stop giving them animals. It's not for everyone.

I guess for me, personally, they help. Sometimes voluntarily, sometimes not. But my passion is mine and I don't force it on anyone else. Except my husband who is forced to help me because I tend to get myself in over my head and he has to pull me out. LOVE YOU BABE!

Kathleen, are your kids interested in 4-H?

Our son wasn't at all interested as he was into sports.

Kids can focus on one area or a variety of different aspects.

Our daughter was interested in the cooking aspects of 4-H and was rather active.  She raise a pig though it was not to show.

4-H is so much more than just the Show aspects like a lot of kids participate in for the chance of selling their show animal for big bucks.

Our programs in science, healthy living and civic engagement are backed by a network of 100 public universities and a robust community of 4‑H volunteers and professionals. Through hands-on learning, kids build not only confidence, creativity and curiosity, but also life skills such as leadership and resiliency to help them thrive today and tomorrow.

4‑H programs and resources are available at home or through local in-person and virtual 4‑H clubs, 4‑H camps, in-school and after-school programs. With the support of adult mentors, youth select from a menu of hands-on project ideas to complete. 4‑H programs are available for kids and teens ages 8-18. 4‑H Cloverbud programs are available for kids ages 5-7.

https://4-h.org/parents/programs-at-a-glance/

Your kids might like the gardening besides animals, or maybe computers or it might depend on what the local Cooperative Extension offers.

You might be interested in SKIP. Consider this as a guide to what to learn about next to build homesteading skills.

I really like Joylynn's suggestion.

Some of the PEP BB (Badge Bits) are really easy to achieve and as you do the BB's the kids could watch and learn.

Here are a couple of fun examples that could be done almost anywhere:

https://permies.com/wiki/108073/pep-animal-care/Bee-Insect-Watering-Station-PEP

https://permies.com/wiki/108200/pep-animal-care/Create-toad-habitats-PEP-BB#1152143

Permaculture (and design thinking) is helping me understand the importance of iterating. Making small trials and then building from there on what works.

How can you make small trials with your family to see what works? Here are some ideas I would investigate if my daughter were older:

Finding out if there are local farms to tour and volunteer with

Helping her volunteer at an animal shelter

Creating a cycle of handicraft projects to tackle in order to see what she takes to and has aptitude for

Teaching her necessary life skills from a predetermined (by me) list, such as cooking and cleaning, managing finances, etc.

Involving her more in the planning and cultivating of the urban garden we have

Using what things and opportunities you have now, in order to test ideas (and kiddos!) and get everyone more ready for the good things to come, is the Permaculture way forward!

My approach has been similar to Elle's. I ask the kids to help, but don't force or leave the responsibility on their shoulders. I want them to be interested and find joy in helping out. We do ask them to help with things they aren't interested in, and they usually agree and assist for a short while. But, like with Elle, I'm really just happy that my kids are playing, not on screens, and not making my work difficult. But, my kids are 5 and 8, so things are probably different with older kids and larger families!

My 8-year-old son loves his chickens. He goes down and snuggles them, trains them, makes sure they get food and are put away at night. I also double-check these things for him. He is also a fantastic duck herder, and comes out with me almost every morning to herd the ducks into their mobile yard. He also seriously loves using the loppers. So if I have a bunch of salmonberry to prune, he happily comes and helps!

My daughter isn't as interested yet. She does a great job helping clean in the house, but isn't too interested in outside. Both kids like planting their own garden, and she also helps plant flowers. Both her and my son love watering with the spray nozzle, so I'll often  have them have fun spraying a garden when it needs it. I'm hoping that as my daughter gets older, she'll find more of her passion.

Right now, the kids want to make a log cabin. It'll be a lot of work, but I think it'll be a great way for them to learn skills and make the property theirs. I think it's great for the kids to have "ownership" in the homestead, to feel like it's theirs, and not just stuff they do for Mama or Dada or because they have to. My son wanted to make a debris shelter a few years back, so we did! They wanted to turn a tree into a tree fort, and we did! I think it's reasonable to help them with their dreams when you can, especially since it models the sort of behavior you want them to have: helping out.

Also, I know that--as a kid--I didn't think I could ever do any of the cool things I wanted to do. I wanted to carve spoons, make fishing polls, carve staves, build shelters, etc. But, I didn't think I could ever learn these things, because I didn't feel like I could ask my parents for help with my "play." And, that feeling of being unable to learn the skills, stuck with me, and it prevented me from tackling a lot of projects. I don't want that for my kids. I want them to have an idea for a cool project, and have someone there to help make that cool project happen. I can't make all of their dreams come true, but I try to help them when I can.

Detangling kids from electronic devices is hard. It helps if we adults aren't on them. And, it helps that we just don't have cellphones, and everyone shares the same two computers/screens. I do not envy anyone with kids addicted to ipads or cellphones. I'm hoping to avoid that as long as possible!

It's hard. We want what is best for our kids, and want them to grow up to be strong, responsible adults. At the same time, sometimes the more we try to encourage something, the more of a bummer it becomes! I'm mentally preparing myself for the time my kids are old enough to realize I am middle-aged and therefore not at all cool.

I don't have teenagers yet, but I do remember what it was like to be a teenager! Thank goodness we didn't have the electronics then that we do now. I feel like competing with the internet with all the apps, etc is just a losing battle. Today's electronics basically give teenagers everything they want, right at their fingertips, with little to no effort. They are actually designed to be very addictive; every time someone likes or interacts positively with something you posted, you get this little rush of endorphins. The same with the video games and the little built-in rewards and endorphin rushes in those. I will try not to rant too much about this, haha.

But if my kids do have phones or whatever when they are teenagers, I think I will severely limit the amount of time they spend on them each day, like limit it to a certain window of time each day and that's it, so they can spend the rest of their day not dealing with this addictive thing; it's completely off the table. Not having access to an addictive thing is a kind of a freedom. Then they can spend the rest of their time time actually living their lives, however that may be, even if it's just going for a walk and thinking deep thoughts. Boredom is actually a gift; it forces us to stop, think, and become engaged; take an active part in figuring out something to do, not just be a passive observer.

My kids are still little (5 and 8 ) so they just don't use electronics on a regular basis. We do have tablets that they use on very long (usually over 2-hour-long) car trips, but that's it. We actually got them for when we had to go on an 8-hour plane trip, plus layovers, otherwise we wouldn't have them at all. I do let them watch a movie on my computer occasionally,

Like Nicole said, I am just happy if my kids are not looking at screens, are playing (preferably outside) and not making my work too difficult. They watch me work hard all day, and hopefully some of that rubs off on them. I'm hoping to start selling organic veggies from my garden either this year or next, so I think there will be opportunities there for them to become more engaged too.

My 8-year-old daughter is not very interested in doing anything practical. She loves cuddling the animals, but is not at all into anything difficult or repetitive. I'm guessing she will probably become a writer or artist as an adult, maybe have a little garden, but farming is probably not in her future. That's fine; we are all different. My 5-year-old son really likes to help me, and tries to look for things that will actually help make the job faster or easier for me. He's an awesome little garden buddy, though perhaps overly chatty sometimes. I bought both of them little kid-sized tools from Tractor Supply; real metal shovels and rakes they can actually use, and finally yielded to temptation yesterday and bought a little kid-sized wheelbarrow too. My son uses these way more than my daughter, but they are there when she wants them.

So I guess for me, I see our little homestead as a resource, a wholesome place where my kids can grow up, eating good food, studying nature, that kind of thing, and then also exploring their own interests as they grow too. My daughter is not very interested in doing chores, but she loves drawing our animals and making up stories about them, as an example. My son is always thinking about how things work, better ways of doing things, and loves building and fixing things with his dad. So I think both really benefit from this lifestyle, and we will see how they grow into it, maybe taking on some chores, as they get older.

A lot of good advice so far. Here's my two cents-

Yes, you have to find their passion and build on that but you also have to teach that, as a family, we are a team and we all have a responsibility to help out. So that means that often we have to do chores and responsibilities that we don't enjoy personally. But if we keep the perspective that we are doing this chore because we love our family and it's a way to show our love, I think it makes things more enjoyable. Basically it's not about "me", it's about "us". Unfortunately that's a less common way of looking at things in today's society. 😢

Things that help my children (and myself) be more cooperative with the chores are having scheduled assignments and set time and also giving a heads up on upcoming jobs. The bigger the homestead, the more things there will be do get done but really, you'll never be at the end of your to-do list. If the homestead is your passion and you love it, that's fine. I never get tired of all the things i need to do in the garden. But for everyone else, especially children with limited attention spans, it's so draining to never see an end in sight and to be called away from their own projects and play to do chores. So I always make sure they have a finite list they have to accomplish and they know what they can look forward to doing once it's done. "Today after your daily chores, I need you to weed two rows in the garden and then you can play your video game for 30 minutes." " Today we are putting up a fence and I'll need your help for two hours but then you will have the whole rest of the afternoon free until dinner time." " In 10 minutes, you will have to stop playing and go feed the chickens."

For chores, everyone has assigned daily responsibilities. The younger ones work together on theirs because they motivate each other. We do switch sometimes when someone expresses interest in doing another chore or a kid becomes big enough to learn a new job but that's only once a year or so. The benefit to this is everyone knows their responsibility and they become good at doing it efficiently and correctly. At the beginning you have to help them and teach them so if you are constantly rotating jobs, it becomes a wear on the grown-up and you'll find yourself doing the job yourself instead because it's faster and as an adult, you better results. So teach a kid a job and let them get really good at it for 6-12 months before moving on to a new one. Older kids can, of course, do way more but are more likely to drag their heels if you don't give enough guidance and modeling. Teenagers can get overwhelmed just as easily as toddlers!

That leads me to my next point- Teach and model and explain. Don't dumb it down for kids but do be exceedingly clear. Have them shadow you the first time while you explain and don't expect them to remember it all the first time. For example, hand watering- I tell my kids to count to 30 while they water each plant. I sure them how the water needs to be diffused and ask them to tell me what happens to the dirt if they have it full blast at the roots. Otherwise you say, "go water" and they end up washing away the plants or just sprinkle the surface.

Get them excited about the big projects by watching fun YouTube videos together or going on a field trip to somewhere where they can see stuff in action. My kids got more excited about the trees and bushes we were planting when we went to nursery tour that had a fruit tasting at the end of it. For really big projects that are not essential, I offer to pay for their labor or tell them how they might earn money from the project if they want to take it on (like selling surplus eggs or excess veggie starts).