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it's fall - mother-@!*$%s!  RSS feed

 
master steward
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While I was out of town, my kids bought some gourds to decorate the table. I was surprised, until they said it was because of this:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”


 
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Ahhh tyty, mhm laughed till I peed,,, outdoors of course. lmao

Seriously still laughing. lol Glad I peed already. lol
 
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Oh hell, I just hurt myself from laughing so hard (no pissing tho).

Must learn more about this Colin Nissan person - I may have a new hero.
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Glad my kids aren't the only ones with humor like that! They stayed pretty mellow with the gourds - just a basket on the table. So far, anyway.
 
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"I'm going to...carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker".
Heeheeheee, hahahaha...
 
Leila Rich
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Came across this thread; it made me laugh last time and since it's the season for many of you...
 
pollinator
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"all haphazard like a crisp October breeze blew through and fucked that shit up"

God now I'm going to have to start writing like that. just what I needed, another bad influence.

"Felonies and Gourds both have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real"

That nearly a thought of the day right there
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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It's fall (again)!
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Reviving this thread again. I must say I FAR prefer decorating with gourds than with this...this...<ahem!> glitter-skirt thing.

It lights up and the glitter moves around like a lava lamp.

Gourds over glitter any day!!
20150909_snark.jpg
[Thumbnail for 20150909_snark.jpg]
glitter skirt fall decor
 
pollinator
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And Fall means Halloween!
 
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ahahahahahahaha I am dying, i loved that!!!

For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.



I'll just leave this here:



if you think that this picture is creepy as hell, just imagine those gourd motherfuckers standing at your height, looking you in straight in the eye.


 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Cassie Langstraat wrote:ahahahahahahaha I am dying, i loved that!!!


YAY! I'd love to string gourd necklaces with you some time!

Cassie Langstraat wrote:if you think that this picture is creepy as hell, just imagine those gourd motherfuckers standing at your height, looking you in straight in the eye.


Um, alrighty then. I'm glad I'm not alone in finding <ahem!> different types of artistic expression. Those are a bit...strange!

 
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Cassie Langstraat wrote:
if you think that this picture is creepy as hell, just imagine those gourd motherfuckers standing at your height, looking you in straight in the eye.



Oh, snap. Another fall-related creepy doll thing?
These used to give me night terrors:





Uggh, even the lady who wrote the how-to book looks like she wants to keep me tied up in a basement for a few weeks before she eats me:

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Someone read this thread and gave me gourds!

Fuck-yeah!!

20151022_124755.jpg
[Thumbnail for 20151022_124755.jpg]
a gift of gourds
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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We have filled the kitchen here at wheaton labs with winter squash. (I wish we'd grown it, but with this summer's drought and other projects taking priority, not this year.) I love winter squash!

(In case you didn't know, we often have rather awesome conversations about recipes and cooking things like winter squash in our kitchen forum.)



And....it reminded me of this thread about gourds!

Oh, look, and the author responded to a Q&A about his article that goes viral every fall.

Q&A with the Author of "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers"

It's like the pumpkin spice latte. You can mark the changing of the seasons with "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers."
Exactly.


 
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Jocelyn Campbell wrote:Reviving this thread again. I must say I FAR prefer decorating with gourds than with this...this...<ahem!> glitter-skirt thing.

It lights up and the glitter moves around like a lava lamp.

Gourds over glitter any day!!



It looks like Paul McCartney in Drag... oh I gotta have one (laughter)
[edit to re-add the image]
thumb-20150909_snark.jpg
[Thumbnail for thumb-20150909_snark.jpg]
Don't you think it looks like that?
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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YES. Yes, it does look like Paul McCartney in drag!! Bwahahaha!

(Whispers:  gourds over glitter.)
 
Deb Rebel
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And furthermore wasn't McCarthy's band called Wings?


(as for being a gourd whisperer Jocelyn, um the little resin thingy DOES have a cornucopia in arms with gourds and related in it)
 
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Jocelyn Campbell wrote:While I was out of town, my kids bought some gourds to decorate the table. I was surprised, until they said it was because of this:

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”




Ahh, and here's a good one for homesteaders wanting to work from home doing artsy craftsy stuff
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-earn-up-to-300-a-day-making-my-own-jewelry-and-being-a-prostitute
 
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For some strange reason, I can imagine Goerge Carlin doing this reading.........
 
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