Grief sucks. People are wonderful.

We said a last goodbye to our beloved elderly dog last week. He was over 14 years old and had a wonderful life with us. He was our first pet, and first thing we committed to as a couple when we were newly married. We are all, obviously absolutely devastated. I've got two rather fragile boys at home now, and my wife is in pieces. He was put to sleep at home following heart failure.

We are slowly pulling ourselves back together, but so many pieces of our daily lives revolved around him. Cat was invariably the one who fed him - the first morning she came downstairs and he wasn't waiting to be let out.  He used to get to lick out leftovers from our plates (especially my fussy 7yo) - day 2 I found my 7yo had put down his plate like normal without thinking about it.

It sucks.

But on the other side, it also helps us remember how wonderful the people around us are. I've had so many hugs from friends at work over the past week. People stopping by my classroom to check on me. A mate changed his plans so we could steal an hour together in the day. Not all the hugs have been helpful - making me cry 10 seconds before I need to walk in and teach maths to a room full of 13 years old is not ideal - but every one has been welcome and appreciated.

I've been trying to do my best helping the boys navigate their feelings. 7yo was trying to be brave, pull himself together and not think about it... we had a heart to heart cuddled up on the sofa and I had to tell him that he is allowed to be sad, and allowed to cry if he needs.

We made it out of the house on Sunday together and had a gentle evening with friends. It felt like a first step towards being normal again.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm rambling. Just keep being wonderful people to each other. I needed it this week, and it really helped.

My condolences Michael;
Losing a beloved pet is losing a family member.
It really Sucks.
It is a hard lesson for your boys to learn but learn it they must.
All life comes to an end. It never gets any easier, be it a pet, a parent, a grandparent, or worse of all, a child.


When the time is right, bring a new puppy into the family.

When I'm coaching my kids (and even myself) through this loss, I always remind them that as much as this hurts right now, the beloved pet brought us so many years of love and joy, and that's what makes the grief worth it.

I'm sorry that you and your family have to go through this now, Michael.

Ah, I'm sorry Michael. There is nothing but time that will heal things. People without dogs don't always understand that they are members of the family too as thomas said. It takes a while before you stop looking for them at certain times and places. Hugs.

Oh, no, Michael... I'm so very sorry. As I sit here, surrounded by our pups, I look at them and can't imagine life without any of them. It's heartbreaking, to just think about. And yet, I've gone through it so many times. Your advice to your 7yr old was perfect - and I'm glad you're allowing yourself to grieve, too. Just remember, that even as life returns to normal, that doesn't mean you should expect the grief to disappear, right away. Time is probably the hardest element of grief, because in the one hand, it marches on, whether we're ready or not, but on the other hand, it's best not to look at the calendar, and expect the grief to be done by some arbitrary limit or date. Hugs...

Losing fur kids is devastating...what I like to do when I'm ready is write them an obituary of sorts, I include all the funny, goofy, loving stories about them that I can remember and share it with family and email it along with pictures to those who knew my pet as I did...and then get to hear stories that I forgot about or didn't know. It helps and it's a great way to honor and cherish them.

Kyle Hayward wrote:Losing fur kids is devastating...what I like to do when I'm ready is write them an obituary of sorts, I include all the funny, goofy, loving stories about them that I can remember and share it with family and email it along with pictures to those who knew my pet as I did...and then get to hear stories that I forgot about or didn't know. It helps and it's a great way to honor and cherish them.

That's a lovely idea.  I went through all the photos of Douglas (our first dog) when we lost him. Partly because I was looking for a nice photo to get printed as a physical reminder for us, but it was bittersweet to collate those memories in a screenshow.
https://www.facebook.com/1440665426249371/videos/401923627179709
for those who still do facebook.

Sending you and your family warm, virtual hugs.
Grief sucks. It hurts and overwhelms us at unexpected moments, and yet, we have to swim through it.
Thank you for sharing. It is lovely and soothing in a crazy world to read about the humane, loving, healing heart connections happening in your family and in your community, restoring faith in the world for us, who are reading.
I think the worst times bring out the best in people - luckily nature is wise in balancing things out like that.

Something that springs into mind now: perhaps you could create something together with your family as a tangible treasure to remember your dog by? A photo collage, a little altar, memory box ... something like that.

Wishing you all strength and gentle focus to get through the grief.