Steps meme spills over...

I posted a meme on a thread here earlier today...



But my head won't let it go. It's been designing ways to get groceries up those steps without carrying them.

My best idea for that is a ski lift type pulley thing that has containers that automatically tip out the contents at the top, and a well trained big dog. Some groceries are put in the container at the bottom, Big Dog gets in his container in the top. His weight takes the container down and the lighter one up. He gets the bottom, runs up the steps, gets there in time to ride back down and move the next load up. Hopefully he thinks this is fun :D

So, I throw the question out, what other ways can we get groceries up those steps without carrying them? Apples awarded for the best answers in the 'Logical Answers' category, AND in the 'Fun Answers' category, Rube Goldberg type ideas welcomed! (Look him up if you don't know the name, he's fun!) Practical OR bizarre, educate me or make me laugh! :D

Those are serious steps!! I have damaged knees.... They hurt just looking at the pic

A sled or wagon. I walk up, pulling the sled/wagon on the grass. Not very imaginative, but something I already do with groceries, feed bags, hay, tools...

I totally think you should dig a tunnel into the hillside that leads to an elevator up into the main hall of the house.

Ok, here's a ridiculous idea that would take a lot of time and planning and probably a lot of money....

Rig up some kind of conveyor belt that runs along side the stairs. Each step has a platform/lever on it which is connected to the conveyor belt through a bunch of gears and pulleys that act as a come-along or snatch block to cause the conveyor belt to slowly move upward/forward. The forward motion of the conveyor belt would be triggered by the weight of you stepping on each lever/platform every time you take a step up the stairs.

I have no idea how you'd build it but there you go!

My vote would be for a skyline or a funicular railway. Either one could have two cars so that the weight of the downhill one provides most of the pull needed to get the other one up. You could get really clever by incorporating a water tank in the cars and a way to adjust water levels remotely.

I vote for growing everything you can outside the back door and preserving and storing in it the giant house in order to eliminate the need for buying and carrying groceries. Keep the front steps and general uninviting nature of the front of the house just as is to deter solicitors.

But if I must, I would consider something remote controlled like this...
https://massimomotor.com/products/tiro-480-rc-utility-cart

Hello Pearl.
Your grocery puzzle has occupied my mind all morning while doing chores. Thanks for the brain challenge!
What appeared to my mind’s eye is a long teeter-totter-slide that runs next to the stairs. The slide is made of a long aluminum ladder gifted to you from the local fire department for saving a cat. Over the step-rungs are lightweight round repurposed PVC pipe pieces that form moveable rollers. At the street end of the slide, is a long narrow crate large enough to hold the bounty from your weekly shopping trip.
Now, for purposes of health and wellness, you opt to gently walk up the stairs.
Here at the top end of the slide next to the stairs, you have secured an empty light-weight water tank that can tilt without spilling to accommodate the slope of the hill when being partially filled.
Effortlessly, I see you grab the garden hose and fill the tank until the water weight exceeds the grocery bin weight and the groceries roll to the water tank near your front door. You then empty the grocery bin and take a well earned break.
A little later, I see you attaching a garden hose to the tank then turning the valve so the water refreshes your beautiful garden until the street-side end of the teeter-totter drops and the empty bin rolls down the slide.
Suddenly, you roll down the slide yourself, hop into your car then speed away.

According to Wiki donkeys and camels are traditional pack animals used on the Steppes.

If those columns are sturdy, I'd use a sled like hunters use to get deer back home. they are sturdy enough for a lot of groceries and those sled will glide easily over grass or snow.
Also, it seems to me that you have a well funded fear of these steps. I would put a sturdy ramp there, just for yourself...

I see plenty of room to just drive up to the side of the house.

Les Frijo wrote:I vote for growing everything you can outside the back door and preserving and storing in it the giant house in order to eliminate the need for buying and carrying groceries. Keep the front steps and general uninviting nature of the front of the house just as is to deter solicitors.

But if I must, I would consider something remote controlled like this...
https://massimomotor.com/products/tiro-480-rc-utility-cart

I loved :"Keep the front steps and general uninviting nature of the front of the house just as is to deter solicitors"

Ned Harr wrote:I see plenty of room to just drive up to the side of the house.

Yeah, my first thought was that my 4Runner could just drive up those stairs, but I'd rather have a driveway and place to park around back.

Christopher Weeks wrote:Yeah, my first thought was that my 4Runner could just drive up those stairs, but I'd rather have a driveway and place to park around back.

I'm saying, even if you just drive up the grass, taking it at an angle my Honda Fit could do it right after a rain.