Mari Henry wrote: I like a lot of what you were saying, but had to stop reading after what you said about rape. Rape is the fault of rapists, not the victims. No one deserves to be raped or causes it to happen. The rapist causes it. Not the victims.
Mari, what you say is true. It is more than that, it is about dis-empowerment of the victim. No matter the method. any sort of physical, psychological or financial violence is not acceptable. Without trying to minimise the trauma suffered by anyone, the mainstream media has a lot to
answer for in its dis-empowerment of women. I.E. making them scared to live a full life, being scared to be alone, being scared to go out - in fact just being scared.
I have a friend who is 82 and lives alone, having done so for the great part of her adult life. She lives on the edge of town and is as, or more capable than me in a lot of aspects of what she does. But, I and others do get the can you give me a hand phone calls on occasions. And that is OK. If we use generalised phrases such as "women are the weaker sex" and "I'll get one of the blokes to do that because you probably can't", "that's women's work" we are stereotyping on gender bias. As we become better at interacting in an equitable manner, we learn to accept that strengths and weaknesses are not divided along gender lines. It is horses for courses. It is about
experience (s).
A client disclosed that she had completed a building
course because she could not afford to pay someone to replace her kitchen and in fact sold her house some years later at a premium price having virtually rebuilt it. A nurse I worked with bought a new car and sent it in for its first service. She put nail polish on the filters which
should have been changed as well as on the oil sump plug. When it was returned to her, a torch quickly illuminated the nail polish on the filters and when she checked the oil plug, you guessed it - untouched by hand or spanner. Long story short, after the mechanics finished servicing the car in their own time, she reported the organisation and they are no longer in business. It is not particularly a girl thing, there are some individuals who are unscrupulous, bent on violence as a method of control and otherwise imposing their will without an invitation or sometimes just downright dishonest....
As a middle aged portly bloke, there is a lot that I cannot do, but the reason that I know is that I had a go. The solution is get a hand. Two
people can do more in a day than one person can do in two. The level of intimacy is on your terms, because you are the one who asked for a hand. It could be payment=end, sit down and a cuppa after or reciprocal help. If the person is on your wave length more may happen, but it is always your call because you initiated the engagement. Even if you have not or do not develop a friendship, there will be someone who will be looking out for you, even from an afar.
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