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I think Permies might unwittingly be making me a better person. The Permies forums gave me the opportunity and safe space to be polite to people without fear of being attacked for showing "weakness", and I've found myself carrying that approach into other online venues. Results so far have been stunning. It seems like most people in other forums are actually yearning for decency but afraid to make the first move. When I resist the urge to respond to an attack with equal or greater rudeness, I find myself perfectly capable of finding some common ground wherein my attacker and I can lower our weapons and, at the very least, mutter something apologetic and/or supportive. More often than not, the response is startlingly friendly, and a 180 degree turn from the initial aggression. This is very encouraging to me and has had a very positive impact on my state of mind. I think it is even spilling over into my offline world in the few occasions when I can legally interact with a human. I really think there is hope for this world.

Thank you to all the behind the scenes people that make this place so enjoyable and to Paul for having the vision for it all.
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steward & bricolagier
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Wouldn't it be excellent if the whole net followed the Be Nice rule?
That is one of the things I like best here, I can say things that are weird to "normal people" and I don't get flamed for it. I might get questions "Why are you doing that?" or more likely "Oh cool, how can I do it too?!" but it won't be "you are just abnormal and a menace to civilized society." This is WHY I live on Permies :D

If you recall the Wheaton Eco Scale the same idea applies many facets of the world. I could draw a chart that starts with "being a dick on the net" and goes upward, and I LOVE seeing people learning you CAN be nice, even when you disagree, and THAT changes the world, one mind at a time, just as learning to eat dandelions does.

Spread the Be Nice concept to the whole net! You don't do it by demanding others do so, you do it by always being nice yourself, and figuring out how to be nice even when you disagree with others. You model good behavior, and others will follow you up the scale :D


 
gardener
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I think Diego Footer says "Be the change you want to see"
It really can work, I've done it on YouTube comments, persistent politeness won out.
 
gardener
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William Bronson wrote:I think Diego Footer says "Be the change you want to see"
It really can work, I've done it on YouTube comments, persistent politeness won out.



The youtube comments section is one of the "bad neighbourhoods" of the web. If you're getting positive results there, that speaks volumes.
 
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It's a very sad day when being polite is seen as being weak. I think it's just a sign of the times.

So happy for you that things are going well! I bet your online activity is a good example for others. Somebody is always watching, and it's a wonderful feeling when you can be a good influence.
 
pollinator
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Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
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People are fearful. They mask it by attacking.

They are not unlike a fearful dog. It bites first, asks questions later. But persistent calm demeanour and genuine good will can win over many a fearful dog.

Not all, though.
 
pioneer
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Location: Currently south Wales (the old one!)
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It's amazing how quickly you can stop an argument by apologising.

You might still feel like you're right but blessed are the peacemakes and all that.
 
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Location: Ozarks zone 7 alluvial,black,deep clay/loam with few rocks, wonderful creek bottom!
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Permies has been my 'safe place' for years now.  

Periodically I try to find other forums that suit my interests and give up because they don't have the moderation that we enjoy here.  

...and really, this site has grown to include almost any subject one might want to discuss  

"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution."
Kahlil Gibran
 
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I think Vladimir Putin said it best: "Don't worry. Be happy."
Lol
 
pioneer
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When I get flamed in YouTube I simply tell the person that they have spent their meaningless wad. They can achieve nothing else. Calling me names does not phase me in the least. I would have to respect the opinion of the other person before I'd let that opinion affect me.
Additionally, I have a 'F$<k you' button that puts a smile on my face.
I read the entire rebuttal, as well. Those are hilarious, but all they can do is call me names and attempt to insult me. I just laugh at them. It doesn't take long for the smart ones to give up and go away. The dumb ones takes a while. One guy tried every day for a month straight before he finally gave up. I never called him a name nor insulted his mother's obvious virtue. All it takes is just a little bait to haul in the biggest fish!
Being nice is way more cool, but one should not be afraid to speak ones mind.
 
master gardener
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I now have a total of 3 sites I regularly go to ( Permies, chess, and astronomy).  All are moderated with similar rules.
 
pioneer
Posts: 132
Location: western NY (Erie County), USA; zone 6a.
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As I've said in another thread, (I think someone's Introduction post) Permies is my happy place. It is my 'safe zone' or whatver when even if I don't post and merely lurk, it's refreshing and encouraging to read threads and replies that are civil, informed and intelligent. (That being said, I rarely visit the Cider Press as that's contingent upon pies and apples and I don't always have the former.)
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