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Single Canadian woman seeking Bigfoot for conservation

 
Posts: 35
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Greetings Permies and Bigfoots (Sasquatch, Yetis)

I am on the hunt for a large hairy male with wooly feet, since such a specimen meets all of my requirements for a husband based on what we know about Bigfoots.

These requirements are: being big, hairy(keeping me warm at night), outdoorsy, poops fiercely, eats natural (likes salmon and berries etc.), efficiently communicates (will whimper when hungry), avoids medical tyranny (hasn't seen a doctor in decades) and most importantly wants to end fractional reserve banking.

As you can see, Bigfoot is an ideal husband. And with that in mind, creating more Bigfoots is a worthy goal.

If you are a bigfoot, know that I am seeking one around the ages of 30-50.  I am single with no children and no previous marriages.

Anyway, have a wonderful day and stay wooly!


profilepic.jpg
Me in hat, thinking about Bigfoot
Me in hat, thinking about Bigfoot
perfection.png
THE BIGFOOT
THE BIGFOOT
 
pollinator
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Terry, your post cracks me up!  I had no idea Sasquatch had such progressive opinions on the inadequacies of our current financial system.

It is good to know that somewhere out there is a woman who value men like us.  And a woman with such a sense of humor, too!  I hit most of your criteria, so I think I might include myself in your bigfoot category.  Not sure.  I don't know if I poop fiercely enough for you.  Although I do just so happen to be experimenting with a composting toilet system right now for the first time, LOL!  Does that count?

Seriously, even while my lifestyle is far too crunchy and "out there" for most women to even consider, your ideal image of the rugged mountain man is a lot to live up to.  I do occasionally see a doctor (and a dentist), even though I don't necessarily follow all of their advice.

But you left one critical piece of basic info out of your post.  Where are you?  Canada is a big country!  Or are you willing to relocate anywhere?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Best wishes and lots of luck finding your bigfoot!
 
Terry Bacon
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I am in the Southwest Ontario area (in the trifudgea between Toronto, Buffalo and Detroit)

All the bigfoots in my area could not stand the stupid-little-foots taking over and fled. Leaving me alone...and Bigfootless.

sad-canadian-bigfoot-noises
 
Matthew Nistico
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Terry, you continue to entertain!  And to enlighten... "trifudgea"?  Wow, is that really a word?

It is indeed a sad situation in which you find yourself, alone and mateless among the little-feet.

Unfortunately, I am far from your neck of the woods, and unable to relocate myself.  If you think you would ever consider moving to follow your bigfoot then please, by all means send me a quick PM.  I would be delighted to tell you a bit about myself and see if I qualify in your eyes as a big- or little-foot : )

Otherwise, my most sincere best wishes for success in your hunt for your elusive hairy-footed-man!
 
Terry Bacon
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Do Bigfoots like chocolate?

Do I set a trail of chocolate pieces to my door?

"This way to more chocolate for bigfoots"
bigfootbait.png
CHOCOLATE FOR BIGFOOTS
CHOCOLATE FOR BIGFOOTS
 
Posts: 32
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As potentially one of the hairiest males on this site (I’ve been called Silverback and Pelted One) I LOVE this post.

Oddly enough, I’m selling a condo out west and moving back to that area to take care of family and try to get a permaculture farm going, maybe also an outdoor school to make money…

Tell Me More <3
 
gardener
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I'm not looking  but some vikings are hairy.
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Terry Bacon
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NEW PLAN

There is a little woody park nearby.

I go in there and yell out my bigfoot mating call:

AWWWOOOOOOO
I HAVE CHOCOLATE
WILL MAKE YOU CHILLI
AWWOOOOOOOO

 
Matthew Nistico
pollinator
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I think you are on to something.  The say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  But the way to my soul is through chocolate!
 
pollinator
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Married and cherubically hairless here, but I did find the best way to meet someone was to go out and do something you love, ideally serving something you love bigger than yourself. That will be where your bigfoot will find you, and it will be a beautiful story.
 
pollinator
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Wonderful post!  Unfortunately, even if half-way hairy, I'm already married, outside of your desired age spread, and possess too many health issues at this juncture to step again up to the plate.  (SW Ontario is a barefoot waterski trip away from northern Minnesota as well.)  Could these impediments be overlooked if my gait in front of a trail-cam is uncannily like the hairy one himself?  (How do we know Yeti/Sasquatch is even a 'he'?)

All jesting aside, I do wish you all the best in finding your partner, Terry B!....
Sasquatch.JPG
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tom brennan
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Robert Ray wrote:I'm not looking  but some vikings are hairy.



Lol my chest looks a lot like his beard…:-)
 
Terry Bacon
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I suspect that Vikings brought back Bigfoots as wives. And thus all Vikings now have long beards.

Who wouldn't want a hairy wife? Now maybe some fur ends up in the stew but think of the savings on heating!
 
Terry Bacon
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NEW PLAN
hastilymadeplan.png
how to catch bigfoot
IT WILL WORK..MAYBE
 
Terry Bacon
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This time, it will work
hastilymadeplan2.png
plan1 failed cause I got hungry and ate the can of salmon
plan1 failed cause I got hungry and ate the can of salmon
 
John Weiland
pollinator
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.....Just musing if the chocolate and salmon offerings whipped into a mousse might not additionally and additively arouse the passions of the French-speaking portion of the (Sasquatcheaux) population...?  Casting a wider net so to speak....

:-)
 
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LOL,

I've been reading this post since it began.

If only I were Sasquatchian, lived 1000mls closer and 20 yrs younger. I'm falling for the creativity more than the thought of being absolutely mauled in a trap-bed...bed trap.. which is it?  Both!!!

Hmmm, let me think....Damn, it's cold up there....Well....I could.....Oh yeah, that Trudewy fella..... No, I better not.  =P  

Good luck

 
Terry Bacon
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I thought I was visited by bigfoot in Plan2, but later on the park rangers issued a public notice about a bear in the area with loud flatulence.
hastilymadeplan3.png
Become so hairy, that Bigfoot will want to take my picture.
Become so hairy, that Bigfoot will want to take my picture.
 
gardener
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This is hilarious.

As a happy man who found a wife who does not complain about his partner's hair, I am grateful. If just more women were like you, some of your bigfeet in the area would stop shaving or doing photoepilations, trying to look like normal britts.
Also, why isn't body hair mandatory in cold climates?

I gather you had an issue with someone who loved money more than honest labor? If so, a permie is all about honest labor with the help of mother nature. This is a good place to start looking.
 
Terry Bacon
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Plan3 will take awhile
hastlymadeplan4.png
Find a cave with large poops near it and play music.
Find a cave with large poops near it and play music.
 
pollinator
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Hey, try calling/naming yourself Bacon.
Bigfoots love bacon.

Oh, I see you thought of that first. Nevermind.
 
pioneer
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So are Bigfoots all hermits, or are there larger Bigfoot clans tucked away in remote areas that occasionally send out scouts to find clumsy people with cheap cell phones and what the maximum distance old trail cameras can shoot at? What does the Bigfoot conservation plan involve?
 
Terry Bacon
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Bigfoots are hiding the cure for baldness. They know that if humanity had this knowledge, the bald would go extinct resulting in the loss of the one group of humans that can stand against the big-shampoo-empire.

Bigfoots have never trusted shampoo or conditioner.

 
Coydon Wallham
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Terry Bacon wrote:Plan3 will take awhile


Have you thought about playing 80's hair metal bands instead of classical music? Was any of that hair natural or just a Big Shampoo psy-op?
 
Terry Bacon
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I like bigfoot and I cannot lie
You other folks can't deny
When a sasquatch walks in with a massive stride
And a giant footprint by his side
You get amazed, wanna step back and gawk
'Cause you know that foot is no joke
Deep in the woods, it's a mighty feat
I'm hooked and I can't retreat
 
Matthew Nistico
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Terry Bacon wrote:Bigfoots are hiding the cure for baldness. They know that if humanity had this knowledge, the bald would go extinct resulting in the loss of the one group of humans that can stand against the big-shampoo-empire.

Bigfoots have never trusted shampoo or conditioner.


Now that is interesting.  I stopped using anything but water in the shower years ago, which has worked very well for me.

Never realized that this was evidence of my hidden sasquatch nature.

BTW, double thumbs up for your bigfoot rap!
 
Terry Bacon
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Small feet fines have been imposed.
smallfeet.png
THIS IS A SMALL FEET FREE ZONE
THIS IS A SMALL FEET FREE ZONE
 
Coydon Wallham
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At least if you stick to rap you won't have to worry about Little Feat...
 
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Bigfoot doesn't like fractional reserve banking.[/quote wrote:
What do you suggest instead.

 
Terry Bacon
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A salmon based system where the banks hold a full reserve of salmon.  BIGFOOT EXPECTS THERE TO BE A WHOLE SALMON HE HAD STORED AT THE BANK, NOT HALF! Also Bigfoot knows it is really debt slavery when you take away his salmon. BIGFOOT IS NOT HAPPY.

He wants all his salmon back. ALL OF IT.
 
master rocket scientist
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So it seems that Bigfoot needs to start the First International Bank of Bigfoot!
This would be a sure way to receive a whole salmon back from your teller!
Until you can get the bank started...
Here  is the Bigfoot radio  station https://bigfoot99.com/bigfoot-home/
 
gardener
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Bigfoot sightings often coincide with UFO sightings. Have you used this angle to help find one yet?
 
Terry Bacon
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(UFOs) Unidentified Foot Objects (i.e. large toenail clippings, toe jam consisting of crushed squirrels etc.)  would indicate Bigfoot activity.
 
tom brennan
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Coydon Wallham wrote:At least if you stick to rap you won't have to worry about Little Feat...



LOL
 
J. Graham
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Hmmm.....their big feet might make this trap all the more effective.
FB_IMG_1685973181407.jpg
[Thumbnail for FB_IMG_1685973181407.jpg]
 
Terry Bacon
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Bigfoot would say that the pain of stepping on lego is nothing compared to the loss of his salmon to fractional reserve banking.


 
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Bigfoot doesn’t like fractional reserve banking.. because it puts him in direct cryptozoological competition with The Creature from Jekyll Island!

https://www.shortform.com/summary/the-creature-from-jekyll-island-summary-g-edward-griffin?gclid=Cj0KCQjwj_ajBhCqARIsAA37s0wcU0KQMiK5t_k3qF2346-pwkLX6hANSvxWcW9JL_lQ9kv2EkuZ0KIaAsrsEALw_wcB
 
J. Graham
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Terry Bacon wrote:Bigfoot would say that the pain of stepping on lego is nothing compared to the loss of his salmon to fractional reserve banking.



I think his best course of action in that regard would be to diversify his bonds with Wu Tang Financial. Because just like Bigfoot, "Wu Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with."



 
Coydon Wallham
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Why doesn't bigfoot smoke his salmon in a rocket oven and keep it in a root cellar? What does time in a bank vault add to it?
 
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