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Is this common? Went off-grid, have now become a pariah :(

 
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This cuts the bone from the marrow. What has happened to you is GOOD for you! This experience will give you greater over(under)standing by leading by example and having to face the rejection that your family has thrown at you. Know that you are not alone, know that what you are doing is GOOD, and know that you are loved and supported by others in this life that believe in swimming upstream instead of floating down stream as a dead fish. Life is meant to be a struggle-effort-inertia against the rest, it started in the beginning when 10 Billion Sperm attempted to start life, but yours was the winner-champion-completion!

Begin with forgiving each offence-offender and walking tall, knowing that you are blessed to have a partner-(husband-lover)-parents-kids that love, respect, believe and support you. May this note find you encouraged today hoping for a wonderful sowing spring, gracious growing summer and contented harvesting fall.

Your newbie Permie-friend-fellow-soul, Red-Neck-Farmer-Author-Fatherof8-....
 
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I admire what your doing. I myself am trying to figure out how to get away from the mortgage/rent trap. You are an inspiration!!
 
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Hi Bethany,

How are things now?
 
pollinator
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John F Dean wrote:Hi Bethany,

How are things now?



Life sure changes a lot :) How do I even sum up?

I got divorced in 2015. My ex really was not, in practice, as on board with this life as he thought and ended up going in a completely opposite direction, so after two years I finally cut things off and let him go. There's a whole other thread on that topic here LOL!

Family relations are okay. I still don't entirely trust people except my parents, I think. I will be honest - a huge part of the issues that some family members had with me/us were actually due to my ex's, let's say, less than responsible behaviors and I got lumped in with that, and since the split I think relationships have gotten a little better. My parents also have consistently held their boundaries with others and reiterated that they are fully capable of helping me or anyone without being taken advantage of as if they are enfeebled, senile, or don't know what they are doing. Siblings dropped the issue. Maybe they just got used to things, I don't know... or maybe my parents finally told them to stfu 😂

I was off grid until last year when I brought power up and finished the house - it was a long road to finish it myself but ultimately I got it done. Then this year I took out an equity loan and paid a local guy to build an addition so now it's like I have a regular house which is pretty awesome, since the room I was in before is basically the pantry and we really have the space we need.

So at this point the dynamic is pretty good. I don't know that I'll ever really fully be able to trust some people again but I suppose that's life, isn't it?
 
John F Dean
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I find that life rarely travels in a straight line.  I suppose if it did it wouldn't be so interesting. But, sometimes I could use a little less excitement.
 
John F Dean
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Hi Bethany,

There is an omen here somewhere. I clicked on your Uncle Dutch link, and You Tube took me to "Custers Last Stand". Be careful, this is 2020.
 
Bethany Dutch
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John F Dean wrote:I find that life rarely travels in a straight line.  I suppose if it did it wouldn't be so interesting. But, sometimes I could use a little less excitement.



LOL ain't that the truth! Ultimately though I just try to think of everything as a learning experience and take what I can from it.
 
Bethany Dutch
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John F Dean wrote:Hi Bethany,

There is an omen here somewhere. I clicked on your Uncle Dutch link, and You Tube took me to "Custers Last Stand". Be careful, this is 2020.

That's super weird - it just took me to my channel page. But yeah... 2020.
 
John F Dean
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On my second attempt, it went were it was supposed to, but the first attempt took me to Custer .
 
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D. Logan wrote:This kind of thinking is more common than you might expect. People spend their lives being told what is safe and what is dangerous. Society grooms us to favor the trappings of society and the idea that you might avoid those things is a slap in to the face of what they consider common sense. Just as an example; if you don't have running water, people consider you a heathen. Government bodies can even go so far as to prevent you from having a house, etc. It doesn't matter if your water comes from a tested and crystal clear spring just behind the home. We've been raised to believe the chemical laden water that comes out of a tap is somehow the safest possible water around.

You live in a way they consider primitive, so they assume the worst of it and that only a strange madness can make someone defend that way of living. You don't bathe your house in chemicals? Oh, it isn't really clean and sanitary. (This ties in to both of the child services commentary as well as the blames of sickness) Don't tap into the grid? You're putting your family at risk without power. The list goes on. The survivalist brother probably considers it an emergency only concept rather than something to actually choose to live in.

I have had people accuse me of insanity for leaving behind job security to fulfill a lifelong dream (security that ended up seeing everyone I worked with but three people lose their jobs a few years after!). I have had people tell me my children were going to be taken away because my (at the time) 2 year old daughter 'needed to be put on a diet'. That last one was irksome since she barely ate and had been born heavy. Her metabolism didn't start going into high gear until she was 3 and starving her just to meet some BMI BS was not something I was willing to do. I have very nearly lost friends just because someone didn't agree with my disinterest in the tech they thought was 'vital' for civilized life.

It's like people only see the 'save the children' commercials about anyone without running water being starving waifs and forget that our grandparents or great grandparents often had homes without electric, running water, etc. and were perfectly healthy. Modern society has it's priorities wrong and even if people mean well, they are often just parroting what they believe to be true and making judgements based on the assumptions they've been told.

Maybe you can educate them on the truth, maybe not. Focus on what is important to you and accept that people sometimes mean well in the most ugly ways.



Amen and amen.
 
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You get the most flak when you're over the target. You're right: they resent you for your courage. My little sister had this same thing happen to her. She left her hometown and lived in Australia, working as a bartender and photographer, then to California, working in Hollywood. When she returned to her former friends in her hometown, they hadn't changed a bit, and not subtly resented her for her accomplishments. Ignore your siblings and live your dream. Your parents and God have your back both.
 
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What a great story and result.

I want to share in pat my journey.
I turned left 50 years ago, went awry as my friends said.
I did have a degree in Civil Engineering and I raced and still do motorcycles.
I continually joked with my friends that the cash I saved from doing things differently I could spend racing.
Almost like having a cake AND eating it.

My old friends are still with me, they have watched and talked, but accepted my life style.
I have been fortunate with health injury, world travel etc and even a small family.

Today they love to hear me talk about experiences I have, because as they say, their lives were pretty normal.
They just did not feel game or were allowed to go a bit one way or the other.
I am fortunate to still have those friends and others on the way.

For me the magic was simply doing and talking, not rubbing it in and bragging about wasting the savings on a mad adventure with motorcycles.
 
They weren't very bright, but they were very, very big. Ad contrast:
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