Mike Sved wrote:Crab mentality.....
Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in a bucket.......
Kate Michaud wrote:Dear Bethany,
16 years ago I did what you have, went through the same criticism by siblings, and my parents and I had the time of our lives creating this Homestead.
When I left the city with my 3 year old, began clearing bush on 32 acres and building a very small house, my 2 siblings laughed and snickered. Over time family gatherings became redundant, after all I was nothing but a lazy country hick, not worth including in much of anything of real importance, except to cart their junk back up to the homestead. My siblings and their spouses didn't like the fact my parents enjoyed themselves so much up here, being so unsafe and unclean. At every opportunity my sister would give me antibacterial cleansers because, you know, we were dirty, and so on.
Outside the family the comments were; Wow, I had made the leap! How brave, how courageous, they wished they had the gusts to do the same.
Fast forward 16 years:
My sister has a $500,000.00 home, with 2 mortgages, 2 expensive cars, yacht club, sailing holidays to Martha's Vineyard. She has 22 year old twin girls still living at home. They had been raised to be Super Kids with the very best of everything, a live in Nanny, extracurricular classes, gymnastics, music, art, modeling, and so on...by 18 years of age, both girls had drop out of College because they couldn't hack it, and are now working at minimum wage city jobs. My sister reticently retired with a teacher's pension. Her hubby, a hospital administrator, is due to retire in a year or so, but can't afford to because of the 2 mortgages + taxes on their high end center town house. So...their plan is to sell the Big House so he can retire, buy another house on the outskirts of the city, big enough for all 4 of them (because the twins can't afford to live on their own), and STILL HAVE A MORTGAGE!
I on the other hand, have a small but very comfortable house, that took me 14 years to finish because I never wanted a mortgage. My niece recently realized that in the event of some sort of disaster I'm completely sufficient,...WOW! My daughter now 19 is moving away to attend College with a scholarship, has made and continues to make her own money, has traveled overseas independently, can manage a budget, pay bills, shop for groceries, cook from scratch, eats healthy, is handy, happy, self confident, efficient, sensible and takes no guff from anyone. She loves to read, is proficient communicator, a valued employee, a wiz at math with a 96% average, and is now off to study Business Accounting. Our only village bank has offered her a summer job during her studies, and a full time opportunity once she's graduated.
I have no fears or apprehensions about my daughter attending College away from home; I taught her ALL that the system doesn't or won't, how to be self-reliant and caring. She grew up on the Homestead, no technological distractions, but learning the caring and sharing of a simple life. She has solid values and a very practical view of life. If all goes well, and it may, she could be one of very few students these days who will finish College with no debt, and enough left over to build herself a tiny house on the homestead, and a job waiting for her.
I had been criticized as a bad and neglectful Mother for having raised my child in the county rather than providing her with all the opportunities the city had to offer...well we see how that turned out; my sister and her family are freaking out, debt ridden, and have no idea where they are going to be living in a year. I have no mortgage, produce my own milk, cheese, ice cream, eggs, veggies, meat. My bills are very low and I'm content and satisfied that I made all the right decisions to ensure my daughter had a fighting chance in a rapidly changing world. I went against all contemporary convention, and armed her to the teeth with life skills that she be beholding to no one, and in doing so she will always be safe, always able, never afraid and grateful for each day and those in it.
As far as I'm concerned, YOU GO GIRL! You're doing the RIGHT thing. You and your husband will teach your children what contemporary society will not, and you'll all be better for it. Bless your parents for their support and may it never waver. If your siblings are lucky, very lucky, they'll see the light sooner rather than later, after all, my siblings and their families snicker no more, and have asked to come here if all should go horribly wrong.
I can grow old knowing that I and my daughter will always be OK.
Remain steadfast Bethany, it's all worth it!
"You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it."
David Livingston wrote:Could it be that they are unhappy you are not playing the game ?
You are not following them into unhappyness and being conventional therefore you must be a bad person for rejecting what they see as the norms of society.
Keep up the good work I say
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