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Isolation and the human need  RSS feed

 
Larry Bock
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About a year ago, I fell off the turnip truck and decided I don't want to live like "this" anymore. If you say what is this? no need to read any further.I am a fifty year old male,told I clean up pretty good (lol) I am currently in CT. I have lived in upper ME ,mid ME and AK .I rented a 1000 square foot commercial unit and built my Camp/ future home sectionally. She is done and waiting for the weather to break so I can move my "kit" into the 44foot shipping container I purchased last week and move it down east ME. That is where my heart is.I lost a marriage over it,but it was failing for quite some time. My area is pretty far in ( It will take 60 miles of driving to get to a store and back)  Two failed marriages and I figuired " that part of your life is over, get yourseff a good rescue dog (so i wont be talking to myself)
  I was complete sure that i'd be fine with a dog I could talk to and go to "town" once or twice a week.
   And then, " she " walks into my life. A direct threat to everything I have worked for.  I was not expecting this, during a hike ,she will look you right in the eye and tell you "turn around,I gotta pee bad"....If you dont unerstand this  no need to read on any further.....I am re thinking about being so far in the middle of no where....she is a threat  but one of two woman in 50 years,,,,I want to come home to    Be interestng to see a response
 
John Weiland
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Larry,

Wish I could could give you an answer, but it's an issue that is so specific to each individual.  I will say that one must read "peeing incidences" with a great deal of caution, clarity, and insight.  Such an incident happened on the first date that eventually went stumbling headlong into the thorny briars and brittle skree of marriage.  The latter is still "on", but not exactly on smooth waters....maybe none really ever are.  Or maybe one just needs to better read the messaging and metaphors inherent in a peeing incident.  Thus, were we parked in a long line of cars descending a Utah canyon after a day of skiing.  The 'date' suddenly, and without warning, jumps out of the driver's seat and says "Gotta pee....figure out the gearshifts if the line moves.." and disappears over the edge of the canyon slope.  Bewildered and hoping the line of cars remains stationary for at least another 10 minutes, I begin pondering the meaning of this action.  Is it a test of my ability to deal, on the first date, with bathroom particulars in a candid manner?  Was she subsequently perched behind a tree, examining my reaction for signs of an 'abandonment complex'?  Or simply gauging, as a potential marital prospect, my ability to handle the unforeseen turns and tumults that life might bring.  Either way, what I learned from the experience was that my future wife could drop a one-piece quite expediently to discharge some ballast and quickly return to her 'tour of duty' rather non-plussed.  Which confirmed strength of character in many aspects of her life, while concealing yet others which one under no circumstances or wild speculation could possibly foresee.

The unenviable decision is yours to pursue, Larry Bock, should you decide to accept it.  (".....As always, should you or any of your I.M. Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape/disc will self-destruct in five seconds...")  Good luck, Larry.


 
Miles Flansburg
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Larry, take her to the container home in ME and let her decide ! This is your chance to live your dream, if she doesn't want to be part of that then you might only be getting back on to the turnip truck.
 
Nicole Alderman
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John Weiland wrote: Is it a test of my ability to deal, on the first date, with bathroom particulars in a candid manner?  Was she subsequently perched behind a tree, examining my reaction for signs of an 'abandonment complex'?  Or simply gauging, as a potential marital prospect, my ability to handle the unforeseen turns and tumults that life might bring.


It could also be that the woman Larry met just needed to pee, and cares little about appearances and is forthright. That could indicate she might actually like living in the boonies...and if she doesn't, she'll tell you about. She sounds like a pretty cool lady.

I know a lot of women "play games" (i.e. act in certain ways to see your response, as a test, or to get back at you, etc, etc, etc), but not all women do.

If I were Larry--and I'm obviously not as I'm a 32 year old woman!--I'd try to get to know the woman more. Don't hide your dreams and goals from her; that usually comes back to hurt you later. But, instead, slowly introduce your dreams over the series of a bunch of hikes/dates/visits. See what she thinks of them. Get to know her. Are her dreams similar or complementary? I'm of the mindset that there's no reason to commit to a relationship unless you're pretty sure your goals and beliefs are complimentary. But, that's just me! There's no need to speed the relationship any faster than it needs to--your isolation might be quelled to a large degree just by hanging out.
 
Burra Maluca
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Well where I come from, if a woman needs to pee while out on a hike she'll just say something like 'you carry on, I'll catch you guys up in a minute' and it is accepted that they don't turn round to peek.  Maybe she'd already given out subtle clues and you'd already failed to notice them and she figured you needed more direct instructions.

We actually have an exceedingly popular thread on permies devoted to such things - women peeing outdoors
 
Travis Johnson
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I have been where you are, though I was aged 37, had two failed marriages and wondering what to do. This new woman had 2 children, lived 175 miles away in New Hampshire and I had a 9th generational farm in Maine that there was no possible way I could leave.

A lot of shame at failing twice at such an early age, a lot of uncertainty about the future, I even woke up to the horrors of having 30 dead sheep from bloat in one night on my struggling commercial sheep farm.

So yes, I have been where you are.

But that new woman that had grown up in town, who was from new Hampshire, who had 2 kids...

We got married, was able to finally move here though she lived in NH and me in ME for the first 4 months of our marriage due to custody disputes, and even grew the farm. Come to find out she always wanted a few acres to live on, to raise animals, and to have a big garden. We are currently in the midst of growing our sheep farm to 900 sheep, have plenty of land, and even had another daughter together (4 daughters in all). Best of all, and without question, she is my best friend.

We even are leaders in our church, doing DivorceCare so that other divorced people will know, there is always hope. What that hope looks like for you, I am not sure, maybe you are seeing that in this woman, but in life, the greater the risk, the greater the reward too. Every day I see people give up great opportunities because of fear, which I refuse to live my life on, I base it only on hope...

Feel free to private message me if you want. I am not an expert on this stuff, but I am a DivorceCare Leader because I do care about people. There is always hope...

 
Karen Donnachaidh
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If you read the thread in the Similar Threads section at the bottom of the page titled: "Is this normal for a Permie? Re: marriage". Then you may wish to proceed with caution.

A Permie life, in some ways, is not easy for many people. It may look fun or interesting, but can they LIVE it? There are various degrees to the individual living choices or natural living methods. Some more extreme than others. Some people like going camping in the woods, sleeping and cooking in a primitive way. Then they get to "go home". Could they handle it if it was their day-to-day life?

I confess, I couldn't. The life I lived prior to where I am today was too hard. It was extreme and the partner I had at the time was also extreme. Today, I have a good balance of life and love. We've been together for 20+ years.

I believe that not everyone has to be married. I'm not. Not everyone agrees with me, I know. My advice to you would be - invite her into your world, be completely honest with her, be completely honest with yourself ( is this the lifestyle you are committed to or just an escape from society/life?). Let her see the full picture for long enough to actually know if it will work for the long haul. If marriage is in the cards this time, you'll know when/if. Good luck! (I've gotta go pee...)
 
Larry Bock
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  You know that I did not expect so many responses and how good they were  I thank you all. Nicole, the " i gotta pee,turn around " had nothing to do with the actual body function.There has never been an awkward moment since we started hanging out.Not one,as if we grew up together ( found out she does not like onions the other night. I stated I had given up on this aspect of my life and was looking to proceed with whats left with a dog,garden,chickens ECT. There are no games afoot I am not wet behind the ears.I did enjoy your answer. I have been married twice and never asked a woman to marry me its like " yea,im here, this seems to work" There was on other women friend in my life that I would look foward to seeing.We were pretty tight. she moved to Nevada 13 years ago. We still never end a conversation without "i love you" at the end of the call
  I posted this here and only here because our life styles are pretty close on this forum> the word isolation is not a word many folks could understand,other than here. I did enjoy the " stuff her in the 44ft shipping container" comment. She is a LED sales Rep and works from home in in-climate weather. We have even joked about her asking her boss if she can work from home full time if she wanted to come up for a 6 months at a clip.
  As I mentioned before,I have just finished my second tour of duty in the Marriage department. Did not cheat lie or steal just knew I was not content and something was wrong. So when the last wife siad to me " if you are not happy here" move on"  and thats what I did. . Humans are social/pack creatures. I guess what im asking is when you have been "out in the stix" for awhile, Do the urges to talk to someone else slowly dissipate? Oh by the way,it is exacly 84 miles round trip to the general store ...LOL
 
Larry Bock
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Travis, I will take you up on your offer for a PM Later  The word Failure can be substituted with " stuff did not work out"  or was " not meant to be" no one is a failure till they stuff you in a box  LOL  Again thank you everybody for your responses   Larry
 
Todd Parr
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Nicole Alderman wrote:
John Weiland wrote: Is it a test of my ability to deal, on the first date, with bathroom particulars in a candid manner?  Was she subsequently perched behind a tree, examining my reaction for signs of an 'abandonment complex'?  Or simply gauging, as a potential marital prospect, my ability to handle the unforeseen turns and tumults that life might bring.


It could also be that the woman Larry met just needed to pee,


My thought exactly.

Larry, I think far more people lie on their death bed thinking "I wish I had taken a chance" than "I wish I hadn't taken that chance".
 
Larry Bock
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Todd ( this is in humor)  there are also a large percentage of human beings, that wake up next to someone they don't and like mumble " What the {blank} was I thinking". So it seems the spectrum is ......Wide?? lol
 
Todd Parr
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Larry Bock wrote:Todd ( this is in humor)  there are also a large percentage of human beings, that wake up next to someone they don't and like mumble " What the {blank} was I thinking". So it seems the spectrum is ......Wide?? lol


I've been there too.  I been thru the divorce process too, and I think if people aren't happy, they should cut their losses and move on.  That said, it's still worth taking the chance in my mind.  There are no guarantees.
 
Larry Bock
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While this conversation went every where, the original topic about humans needing other human contact   Here is a good question, How long has anyone been without seeing another human being here. If I am busy,I notice that everything goes smoothly. You have some down time,then you have to think about things and next thing you know.............You are convinced that your dog actually has mastered the English lauguage and you and he  have extensive conversations about philosophy and ancient aliens
 
Devin Lavign
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As someone who can understand a bit. I have been single for over a decade. I just have been busy with my own life and have actually been avoiding romantic entanglements as I know what I want to accomplish and have been working toward that and don't need the distraction. I have finally gotten my land and am just barely starting on getting started on homesteading it. While in town socializing and getting to know the community I ran into a woman who there is a definite attraction. Mutual it seems, as she has voiced interest in me. However she is quite the social butterfly and busy a lot. So we have never actually spent much time together getting to know one another, though have tried to meet up a few times it just never worked out. This has put me into a similar questioning state as you might be.

What I have come up with for my own situation. Pure and simple, any woman who might want to get serious with me would have to be willing to join me in my homesteading adventure. I am not going to give that up for anyone. If it is right it will work out. I am in no hurry to go into a relationship. The woman I met seemed rather in a hurry, but for me I just don't need to rush into things. I have enough on my plate starting to build a homestead from scratch on raw land. I don't need to stress about getting involved with someone. Then of course there is an issue for me, the woman in question is actually doing something similar as I am though a couple years ahead of me, building herself a homestead though on a smaller scale piece of property. So the inevitable issue if I got involved with her of is she willing to give up her property to join me in mine? I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so. I am not willing to do it myself.

My advice would be to be clear about what you want. Don't give up on your life just to be with someone. If it is the right person they will want to join you in your adventure rather than side track you from it.
 
Larry Bock
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Devin, great reply.   Gives me something to think about, social butterfly and permie seem two strange words to be in the sentence unless you live in a permie community   Then , like I mentioned.   Don't want to find myself in amazement of how many sounds
A rubber band can make at 430 am.   Remember that movie with Tom Hanks and " Wilson" .......lol
 
Nicole Alderman
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I think the degree of human contact a person needs really varies from person to person. I have two kids (4 month old and a three year old) and a husband, so I don't have the pleasure of not seeing anyone. But, I can--and do--merrily stay at home for weeks at a time. I talk to my parents once every other day or so, and have all you permies people to type to, and facebook too. I only feel the need for socialization outside of my family about once every week or so.

But, I've known people who can't STAND to be alone for more than a few hours. I had one friend who had maternity leave and visit work anyway, just to talk to her coworkers! Other people have to have an activity every night of the week and feel miserable if they're not around other people. I would be drained an miserable if I socialized every day! As it is, I'm drained for hours just after seeing my parents or going shopping or going to church. Everyone is different.

Try and reflect back and see how drained--or energized--you are after socializing. How long are you happy alone before you start really wishing you had someone to talk to, or thinking that that Volleyball has a nice personality....
 
Todd Parr
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Nicole Alderman wrote:I would be drained an miserable if I socialized every day! As it is, I'm drained for hours just after seeing my parents or going shopping or going to church. Everyone is different.

Try and reflect back and see how drained--or energized--you are after socializing. How long are you happy alone before you start really wishing you had someone to talk to, or thinking that that Volleyball has a nice personality....


Nicole, I'm much like you.  That is the classic definition of an introvert.  I very much need alone time to recover from dealing with people.  I can go for a very long time without needing human contact.  Extroverts are the opposite, as you said.  They are actually energized by being around people.  Just the thought of living that way exhausts me.  Some couples have one of each type and the do well that way, but each is willing to "do their own thing" and let the other person do the same.  I have also met couples that don't do that, and one, usually the introvert, is miserable.  I've been in relationships myself with people that don't understand introverts, and listening to "why don't you want to go, it'll be fun" when you don't want to go to some crowded social event is exhausting in itself.  Very important to have those discussions right up front.
 
Philipp Mueller
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Devin Lavign wrote:
My advice would be to be clear about what you want. Don't give up on your life just to be with someone. If it is the right person they will want to join you in your adventure rather than side track you from it.


Does that mean that I can never be the right person for somebody else? Only if the other person is willing to give up their life, they are the right one for me? This is a question I have often asked myself. Who should be the one to compromise? Always the other Person? Or are there criteria to determine when I should be the one?
 
Morfydd St. Clair
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Philipp Mueller wrote:
Devin Lavign wrote:
My advice would be to be clear about what you want. Don't give up on your life just to be with someone. If it is the right person they will want to join you in your adventure rather than side track you from it.


Does that mean that I can never be the right person for somebody else? Only if the other person is willing to give up their life, they are the right one for me? This is a question I have often asked myself. Who should be the one to compromise? Always the other Person? Or are there criteria to determine when I should be the one?


Well, you chose one phrasing, "give up on your life".  The other one was "join you in your adventure".  If your dream is "do X, have no room for anything else, for the rest of my life" (and if it is, I admire that! I've always wished I had a Mission!) then yes, you would need to find someone either whose dream is identical to yours or who is willing to give up on his/her own life for yours.  If your dream is "do X as long as it is worthwhile, then be open to someone else's Y for a while" then your field would be wider.

Back when I was married, our plan was that we would both work for a while, then when we were financially stable I would work for a while so he could go back to school, then he would work for a while so I could do something I found valuable.  I'm no longer married, but I think it was a good plan.

And you know, most people don't have Missions.  They have plans and goals that they're pretty flexible on, as long as they are getting joy and respect from the relationship.  So going along with someone else's Mission could be worth it to them.
 
John Weiland
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@Larry B: "next thing you know.............You are convinced that your dog actually has mastered the English lauguage and you and he  have extensive conversations about philosophy and ancient aliens"

If your new enamorada has a canine allergy, I might be interested in that dog! 
 
Larry Bock
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John Weiland wrote:@Larry B: "next thing you know.............You are convinced that your dog actually has mastered the English lauguage and you and he  have extensive conversations about philosophy and ancient aliens"

If your new enamorada has a canine allergy, I might be interested in that dog! 


If I wake up and my dog is talking fluent english. I may skip the first town I come to and go to a larger one with proper mental health care facilities ( and this from a guy who already has one foot in the pickup door and wondering a " how many beer ride is it to such facility"   if its over six,I may have make it a two dayer
 
Devin Lavign
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Morfydd St. Clair wrote:
Philipp Mueller wrote:
Devin Lavign wrote:
My advice would be to be clear about what you want. Don't give up on your life just to be with someone. If it is the right person they will want to join you in your adventure rather than side track you from it.


Does that mean that I can never be the right person for somebody else? Only if the other person is willing to give up their life, they are the right one for me? This is a question I have often asked myself. Who should be the one to compromise? Always the other Person? Or are there criteria to determine when I should be the one?


Well, you chose one phrasing, "give up on your life".  The other one was "join you in your adventure".  If your dream is "do X, have no room for anything else, for the rest of my life" (and if it is, I admire that! I've always wished I had a Mission!) then yes, you would need to find someone either whose dream is identical to yours or who is willing to give up on his/her own life for yours.  If your dream is "do X as long as it is worthwhile, then be open to someone else's Y for a while" then your field would be wider.

Back when I was married, our plan was that we would both work for a while, then when we were financially stable I would work for a while so he could go back to school, then he would work for a while so I could do something I found valuable.  I'm no longer married, but I think it was a good plan.

And you know, most people don't have Missions.  They have plans and goals that they're pretty flexible on, as long as they are getting joy and respect from the relationship.  So going along with someone else's Mission could be worth it to them.


You might have also noticed I mentioned the woman who I had encountered that she is doing a similar journey and I specifically said "I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so." I don't want to take her away from her journey. I do not want her to give up her life to join me.

My intent was not to say never make compromises. My intent was to say if you have a journey your working on, don't give it up to get involved with someone else. This goes for either side of the relationship. I would not ask someone who wants to become a Hollywood star to give that up and join me in building my homestead where there is little to no chance for her to achieve her dream. For me this means someone I end up getting involved with would need to be looking to move out to rural land and help build a homestead. Since I am already on my dream land, I am not looking to move to someone else's land. I absolutely adore my property and it is the culmination of decades of working towards that goal. The property I got I feel very connected to even though I have not even had it for a year yet. A few years ago before I got land, I would have been quite open to the possibility of a romantic relationship with someone who already had land. At that point it could have been a way to further my journey toward living on property and building a homestead. But now, I am not open to that avenue, instead I am at the point of being open to someone else joining me.

It is not about the other person having to give up their life for you, it is about finding the right person to join you which is a progression for their life direction. A relationship I feel should not be about asking someone to give up their life, but instead helping them progress further toward their goals in life.
 
Philipp Mueller
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Devin Lavign wrote:

You might have also noticed I mentioned the woman who I had encountered that she is doing a similar journey and I specifically said "I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so." I don't want to take her away from her journey. I do not want her to give up her life to join me.



The irony of it struck me as somewhat frustrating. Because you both have, in essence, the same dream or mission. Should that not be a reason for being together, rather than against? I am not trying to be negative, I just feel like there should be some kind of solution for this. But maybe that is me being hopelessly romantic
 
Morfydd St. Clair
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Devin Lavign wrote:
Morfydd St. Clair wrote:
Philipp Mueller wrote:
Devin Lavign wrote:
My advice would be to be clear about what you want. Don't give up on your life just to be with someone. If it is the right person they will want to join you in your adventure rather than side track you from it.


Does that mean that I can never be the right person for somebody else? Only if the other person is willing to give up their life, they are the right one for me? This is a question I have often asked myself. Who should be the one to compromise? Always the other Person? Or are there criteria to determine when I should be the one?


Well, you chose one phrasing, "give up on your life".  The other one was "join you in your adventure".  If your dream is "do X, have no room for anything else, for the rest of my life" (and if it is, I admire that! I've always wished I had a Mission!) then yes, you would need to find someone either whose dream is identical to yours or who is willing to give up on his/her own life for yours.  If your dream is "do X as long as it is worthwhile, then be open to someone else's Y for a while" then your field would be wider.

Back when I was married, our plan was that we would both work for a while, then when we were financially stable I would work for a while so he could go back to school, then he would work for a while so I could do something I found valuable.  I'm no longer married, but I think it was a good plan.

And you know, most people don't have Missions.  They have plans and goals that they're pretty flexible on, as long as they are getting joy and respect from the relationship.  So going along with someone else's Mission could be worth it to them.


You might have also noticed I mentioned the woman who I had encountered that she is doing a similar journey and I specifically said "I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so." I don't want to take her away from her journey. I do not want her to give up her life to join me.

My intent was not to say never make compromises. My intent was to say if you have a journey your working on, don't give it up to get involved with someone else. This goes for either side of the relationship. I would not ask someone who wants to become a Hollywood star to give that up and join me in building my homestead where there is little to no chance for her to achieve her dream. For me this means someone I end up getting involved with would need to be looking to move out to rural land and help build a homestead. Since I am already on my dream land, I am not looking to move to someone else's land. I absolutely adore my property and it is the culmination of decades of working towards that goal. The property I got I feel very connected to even though I have not even had it for a year yet. A few years ago before I got land, I would have been quite open to the possibility of a romantic relationship with someone who already had land. At that point it could have been a way to further my journey toward living on property and building a homestead. But now, I am not open to that avenue, instead I am at the point of being open to someone else joining me.

It is not about the other person having to give up their life for you, it is about finding the right person to join you which is a progression for their life direction. A relationship I feel should not be about asking someone to give up their life, but instead helping them progress further toward their goals in life.


To be clear there, I was not responding to you, but to Philipp who had kind of catastrophized your dilemma.

To you directly, you say "I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so."  Um, why can't you ask her to do so?  Maybe your land is better, or she'd find it worth the sacrifice.  Of course, the second part of your sentence, that you would not blame her for saying no, is key there.  And if you've already had this conversation then never mind.

I'm all about asking for things directly, and being clear with all involved that a No response is fine.
 
Philipp Mueller
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Morfydd St. Clair wrote:
To be clear there, I was not responding to you, but to Philipp who had kind of catastrophized your dilemma.


Please forgive me, I did not mean to catastrophize. I was asking for a better solution which I dont have but hoped someone had. Writing in english is really an effort for me, so I tend to keep it short and simple and hope the reader figures out the intended meaning. I know, this is not a good approach in an internet forum
 
Todd Parr
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Philipp Mueller wrote:
Morfydd St. Clair wrote:
To be clear there, I was not responding to you, but to Philipp who had kind of catastrophized your dilemma.


Please forgive me, I did not mean to catastrophize. I was asking for a better solution which I dont have but hoped someone had. Writing in english is really an effort for me, so I tend to keep it short and simple and hope the reader figures out the intended meaning. I know, this is not a good approach in an internet forum


I find it fascinating when people who speak English as a second language speak it better than many Americans, and still feel the need to apologize for their perceived shortcomings in English  
 
Morfydd St. Clair
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Philipp Mueller wrote:
Morfydd St. Clair wrote:
To be clear there, I was not responding to you, but to Philipp who had kind of catastrophized your dilemma.


Please forgive me, I did not mean to catastrophize. I was asking for a better solution which I dont have but hoped someone had. Writing in english is really an effort for me, so I tend to keep it short and simple and hope the reader figures out the intended meaning. I know, this is not a good approach in an internet forum


I'm sorry - I wasn't sure that was the right word even as I typed it.  I did kind of want to bring you back from the brink, if you were there!

Your English is very good!  (As you can tell, I write in long meandering sentences in English.  My German sentences are very short and I worry how they come across too.)
 
Travis Johnson
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Larry Bock wrote:Travis, I will take you up on your offer for a PM Later  The word Failure can be substituted with " stuff did not work out"  or was " not meant to be" no one is a failure till they stuff you in a box  LOL  Again thank you everybody for your responses   Larry


No problem Larry...take me up on that.

I apologize for being slow in responding it was because I just got out of the Hospital (EMMC for hat it is worth ). Just after typing my response to you, I was in a major logging accident and spent the last 4 days in the hospital...so I just just got back online...
 
Devin Lavign
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Morfydd St. Clair wrote:To you directly, you say "I could not ask her to do so, and would not blame her for not wanting to do so."  Um, why can't you ask her to do so?  Maybe your land is better, or she'd find it worth the sacrifice.  Of course, the second part of your sentence, that you would not blame her for saying no, is key there.  And if you've already had this conversation then never mind.

I'm all about asking for things directly, and being clear with all involved that a No response is fine.


Well just to further clarify, the quote was in reference to asking someone to give up their life. Which I could not ask someone to do. As for your suggestion of talking with her, I have not yet done so. But at some point it will likely happen. We really have not spent a lot of time together as of yet and really don't even know many of the basic things about one another. For all I know she might be a militant vegan and take offense to my being an omnivore. Or so many other things that could end a potential relationship without even considering if one of us should move to the other's land.

PS, rather than being a hopeless romantic, try being a hopeful one. It tends to work out better
 
Larry Bock
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Travis Johnson wrote:
Larry Bock wrote:Travis, I will take you up on your offer for a PM Later  The word Failure can be substituted with " stuff did not work out"  or was " not meant to be" no one is a failure till they stuff you in a box  LOL  Again thank you everybody for your responses   Larry


No problem Larry...take me up on that.

I apologize for being slow in responding it was because I just got out of the Hospital (EMMC for hat it is worth ). Just after typing my response to you, I was in a major logging accident and spent the last 4 days in the hospital...so I just just got back online...


Travis, I was sorry to hear about your accident. That logging is a tough gig. When I lived in Maine last time,I had 60 acres and the beginning of a house (I believe a "Cellar Dweller" what the town of Monticello called it) All I had was wood heat for 5 years. There were some close calls harvesting wood. One or two still shake me. That leads to angle, you screw up big time in the woods. Careful as anyone is stuff happens. I have not looked into the "Help me Ive fallen on my chainsaw and I cant get up" device yet,,,No problem,Sir, Help is on the way,Where exactly are you?."....HHhhmmmm
 
Travis Johnson
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Part of logging.

I don't have an electronic leash (cell phone) so I could not call for help, 1/2 mile from the road, and the skidder is hitched to 7 big trees so there was no driving that out fast so I had to run out of the woods on foot. I passed out once on the way out, came too, saw the blood and figured I better keep going.

Once I got to the house the wife called 911 and got the ambulance on the way, but my skidder was still out in the woods idling. So I hung up on 911, called my truck driver and told him what happened and if he could shut the skidder off. The wife was mad, but it was a good thing I did because I was in the hospital for four days; that skidder would have idled itself out of fuel by then. She laughs about it now...911 did call back.

I'll make a post on this soon so other permies people can learn from that accident.

BTW: I have a lot of family up in Fort Fairfield, I live near Belfast.
 
Devin Lavign
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Travis, your accident and many other potentials for accidents are something to consider about isolation for folks.

Homesteading can be dangerous. If your alone, it can be critical to have some form of communication to be able to call for help if needed.

I am building my homestead alone, and it is often something I consider. When tackling big potentially dangerous tasks I take them slow and plan them out a lot since I don't have anyone there to help me if something goes wrong.
 
John Weiland
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Devin Lavign wrote:Travis, your accident and many other potentials for accidents are something to consider about isolation for folks.
If your alone, it can be critical to have some form of communication to be able to call for help if needed.


Hope you are on the mend, Travis, and that slowing down will be integrated into the routine if you feel it would have helped in this situation..  As a bit of a non-sequitur, every time I see the title to this thread, I now think it refers to a pop music group with a lead singer named "Isolation" backed up by his/her smokin' band "the Human Need".    Sort of like "Prince and the Revolution" or "Drimblewedge and the Vegetation".  Hope these inputs from the forum are helping you with your decision, Larry......it'd be a tough call if I were in your shoes, but I'd have to have the time alone to help me see what that felt like.  Certainly accidents like those described here make one think more deeply about other local connections nearby.
 
Larry Bock
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Travis Johnson wrote:Part of logging.

I don't have an electronic leash (cell phone) so I could not call for help, 1/2 mile from the road, and the skidder is hitched to 7 big trees so there was no driving that out fast so I had to run out of the woods on foot. I passed out once on the way out, came too, saw the blood and figured I better keep going.

Once I got to the house the wife called 911 and got the ambulance on the way, but my skidder was still out in the woods idling. So I hung up on 911, called my truck driver and told him what happened and if he could shut the skidder off. The wife was mad, but it was a good thing I did because I was in the hospital for four days; that skidder would have idled itself out of fuel by then. She laughs about it now...911 did call back.

I'll make a post on this soon so other permies people can learn from that accident.

BTW: I have a lot of family up in Fort Fairfield, I live near Belfast.


Travis,know the area well. I never bothered to check your locality out   by Maine standards, you will be just down the road a piece  LOL
 
Larry Bock
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Hi Travis, hope you are on the mend, I re read your post a few times and man,it does make you think of all the potential things that can happen. If I had a dollar for every close,close calls I've had with a chainsaw. Money would not be an issue. A good friend of mine used to say " the good Lord looks after foosl and drunks" LOL  on the serious note,like you posted " all it takes 1/100 of a second for things to happen"  I did enjoy the down the road a piece someone posted. In ME  that usually mean an hour doing doing 70mph at times not passing another vehicle.  I have a few potential properties that Im gonna look at in the Beddington area. I lived in Monticello for five years where I had 60 acres and Carmel for two where I rented a place,smack in the middle of 28 acres. I hope to find the " right" property between RT9 and the Stud Mill rd.   I learned a lot living in ME, most the hard way. Most people think there are four seasons.Spring summer,fall and winter. Giving little thought about the bug swarming you season, the mud season , the bugs biting you season,fiddle head season,bird hunting season,deer hunting season and probably another 6 that escape me for a moment.....LOL...Larry
 
Travis Johnson
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Naahhhhh....just two seasons in Maine.

1) Winter
2) Getting ready for winter

I think there is some validity to that as I take my Long John's off on July 3rd and put them back on on July 5th.

All joking aside, you are about spot on with the 40-50 seasons we have in reality. Definitely mud season now as it is a "bit squishy" out in the woods. Thankfully that will not last all that long this year as the winds have been pretty stout and the frost never went deep this winter. I might have to swap over to bulldozer logging for a bit, but for now the skidder is slogging through the mud just fine.

 
Travis Johnson
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Without question Larry, relationships are hard, but then again so is Permiculture and in life, anything worth doing tends to mean doing things the harder of ways. And so too I think it relates to relationships. I do not think this is psychobabble either; as much as I could get done working alone on my farm, I am not sure I would want to. Not only is there the intimacy of farm life with my wife, there is another aspect that is hard to quantify into words or money. That is another perspective.

You will never know how many times I have worked through a project in my mind, got all the details worked out, and am about to start and my wife says, "but why don't we just"...and honestly, I am dumbfounded because it is such a simple, obvious answer to a problem that I had not thought of. No person is smarter than a group of people put together after all.

So for that reason alone I am in awe of my helpful and hardworking wife. My first two attempts...they failed, but now...I am so glad I did not quit in the relationship department. Occasionally people scoff at me for having multiple marriage failures, but I think they are shallow individuals honestly. I have made some mistakes and I admit them, but show me a 42 year old person who has not made mistakes. I can go around identifying myself as  "divorced" or I can simply enjoy being married to Katie. I prefer the latter...

Whatever your relationship future holds Larry, I hope you find contentment.



 
Larry Bock
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   Travis, I did enjoy the "Only two seasons " angle > when I lived in Monticello, Of the 60 acres,10 or twelve of it was,well, "swamp".... A really cool place and oddly enough,one of my favorite parts of the property. I had reclaimed an old road that led to a stream crossing point next to a my friend's, Mr Beavers dam. I made two or three brush piles and the next year it was Rabbit Central. That year all the snow melted,and there were bright white rabbits everywhere . There was one June 20th, that I took a walk  . I walked in 100 yards and there was still snow. Not just a little,but snow.   lol   PS  I lived in thermal underwear. Loring AFB was closing and surplus stuff was cheap cheap cheap.  I picked up MIL SPEC thermals almost nothing.................including ,,,my underwear
 
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