My heart feels heavy these days. I’m finding it hard to be around others and I mostly want to spend my time alone.
One of the reasons I came here was to learn about community dynamics and to gain whatever personal development I could from that and pushing myself in a new direction.
Of course, the idea of this seemed much rosier than the actual experience turns out to be. Not that there haven’t been wonderful moments, but the less-than-wonderful seem to be bogging me down.
Everything about this lifestyle is new and unfamiliar, there is no script to go by. I’m having to learn everything, constantly and over and over.
And I’ve never been good at being a beginner...
“Learning is pain,” and pain is learning.
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Tansy on Fred’s plot to be chopped
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Dez wielding a super tall tree
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The muscle!!!!!!!!
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Because I realized I never shared it, my completed sunflower over the greenhouse door
It’s been a wonderful day. Enjoying the recent flux of people here, especially having a child around for a bit. I’m realizing how much I enjoy youthful energy :)
The idea of home came up today and I was reminded of something.
Before I came out here, I was weighing my options and trying to decide what my next move was going to be. The time was approaching where a decision needed to be made, and I was somewhat scared and uncertain.
I was driving home from my grandparents’ house one night while this was rolling around in my mind, stirring up some anxieties.
I looked up to the sky and I saw the stars shining brightly above me. It was a clear night and the stars appeared extra brilliant. I felt a sense of awe and the thought came to me, “As long as I have these stars, I will be okay.”
My anxieties, while not quite melted away, quieted and settled inside me.
It was the constancy of the stars. knowing each night they would make their appearance again and that I could, at the very least, rely on that.
That I could seek comfort there, however unfamiliar the rest of my surroundings may seem.
That with them, I am always at home and never alone. Even if, by the light of the sun, I cannot see them.
Love is in the air ✨
And it’s inspired by the most sweet and cuddly of kitten brothers who keep all of us here a wheaton labs properly spinning on our axis :)
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Preciousness
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Look at that fluffy Zeke
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Lap warmers
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Vicious smiles
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Zeke finds a way to squish in... by sitting on vicious’ head
On my planet I'm considered quite beautiful. Thanks to the poetry in this tiny ad:
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