Search...
Home Subscribe
Pie
Home Subscribe
Recent topics Flagged topics Hot topics Best topics
Search...
Search within meaningless drivel Search permies
Advanced search Google search
Register / Login
Bootcamp Master Gardener Program organic pools package deal: video, manual, and World Domination Gardening Free heat movie and plans Sepp Holzer 3 in 1 Documentaries Farming terracing aquaculture
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
Free heat movie GMC website Heat your home with one tenth the wood! Green Living Book bootcamp
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Carla Burke
  • Nancy Reading
  • John F Dean
  • r ransom
  • paul wheaton
  • Jay Angler
  • Timothy Norton
stewards:
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Tereza Okava
  • Nicole Alderman
master gardeners:
  • Christopher Weeks
gardeners:
  • M Ljin
  • Megan Palmer
  • Pete Podurgiel

Got any new Tom Swifties?

 
Douglas Alpenstock
master pollinator
Posts: 5991
Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
1800
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 13
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
This popped into my head this morning while I was frying eggs and rummaging for tools:

"We own five spatulas and I can't find a single one!" he said flippantly.
 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
He came out of his shell to briefly mention: "Well, I'd tell you about that new 'squirrel diet.' But it's just nuts."

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Turn on the air conditioning Tom said heatedly.

The First Axiom of Life: Don’t do dumb things.

 
M Ljin
gardener
Posts: 3042
Location: Zone 4b/5a
1813
I like...
ancestral skills forest garden foraging composting toilet fiber arts bike medical herbs seed writing ungarbage
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
He looked at the rhubarb sourly.

One can never be too kind to oneself or others.
Never our fault, always our responsibility

 
Anne Miller
steward
Posts: 19649
Location: USDA Zone 8a
4938
I like...
dog hunting food preservation cooking bee greening the desert
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!

Invasive plants are Earth's way of insisting we notice her medicines. Stephen Herrod Buhner
Everyone learns what works by learning what doesn't work. Stephen Herrod Buhner

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
These pancakes are awful Tom declared flatly.

The First Axiom of Life: Don’t do dumb things.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I am going to teach these pups new tricks Tom said doggedly.

The First Axiom of Life: Don’t do dumb things.

 
Douglas Alpenstock
master pollinator
Posts: 5991
Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
1800
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A man who's been working in the hot sun is entitled to a cold beer, he observed drily.
 
Anna Hutchins
Posts: 67
Location: Central Kansas. Zone: 6b
31
I like...
kids cat foraging trees urban cooking
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
You could always try different herbs on your roast, he suggested sagely.  
 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Tom warmed up to the idea of making Chili.

The First Axiom of Life: Don’t do dumb things.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
“Don’t bring that gas in the house”, Tom exploded!

The First Axiom of Life: Don’t do dumb things.

 
M Ljin
gardener
Posts: 3042
Location: Zone 4b/5a
1813
I like...
ancestral skills forest garden foraging composting toilet fiber arts bike medical herbs seed writing ungarbage
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
“Well, I eat pokeweed”, Tom said pointedly.

One can never be too kind to oneself or others.
Never our fault, always our responsibility

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 8916
Location: southern Illinois, USA
3830
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
“I want to be a homesteader”, Tom dug in.
 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
"After a moment of watching the video about dogs, Tom pressed paws."

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
"Is that a boy cow, or a lady cow?" asked Tom, udderly confused.

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
Douglas Alpenstock
master pollinator
Posts: 5991
Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
1800
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Well there must be a good lawyer somewhere out there, Tom said plaintiffly.
 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 12
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Tom interrupted to pipe in: "Well, I know a little bit about plumbing."

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
Anna Hutchins
Posts: 67
Location: Central Kansas. Zone: 6b
31
I like...
kids cat foraging trees urban cooking
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I'll get up in a minute, he lied flatly.  
 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 1 week ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Tom struggled with the way to express his feelings about the wooden-shake roof he had just completed. Finally, he drove it home: "Nailed it."

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
Ben Stallings
pollinator
Posts: 182
Location: Omaha, NE
20
3
posted 1 week ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Try to stay out of the gutter on this one; I promise it is meant to be family friendly:

"Why is this kleenex sticky?" Tom asked, surreptitiously.
 
Stephen B. Thomas
pollinator
Posts: 1592
Location: Wheaton Labs, Montana, USA
3144
11
I like...
home care trees books wofati food preservation bike bee building writing seed
posted 4 days ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Tom cut in line at the Barber Shop.

(Author's note: This one is just so notoriously, egregiously bad. But I simply couldn't resist. My apologies...!)

"We carry a new world here, in our hearts..." --Buenaventura Durruti
"Don't wish it were easier. Instead, wish you were better." --Jim Rohn

 
Hey, check out my mega multi devastator cannon. It's wicked. It makes this tiny ad look weak:
hands on gardening and natural building
https://wheaton-labs.com/bootcamp
reply
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!
Similar Threads
More...