De-Cluttering my life

The play room is also something that gets constantly gone over. The kids get time to pick up and if they are "done" I go in with the broom and literally sweep everything on the floor up and throw it away. So, while the playroom was really out of control before it's been massively cleaned up and minimized. Still, there are some out of control areas. The lego area gets out of control and the containers for the legos don't hold them all. So, that was picked up. Looks much better.

Also, the wood I used to make the shelf in here was very old so why is it shrinking? It has to be shrinking, how else did this gap come about? What do I do about this gap?

denise ra wrote:I love the honesty of the posters in this thread. I have a problem with paper and books. They tend to cover all level surfaces. 6 years ago when I was selling my house my best friend helped me get rid of things I was keeping. it was motivational to have her come in and say nope that's trash, nope you don't need that,.... Sometimes she only came in for 5 minutes to give me a jump start. Unfortunately, I ended up with two storage units after selling the house which I've just spent the last 6 years decluttering.
    Clutter is not about stuff, it's about my emotional state. If I am hoarding, there is an emotional basis for this. As I have become more emotionally healthy, it has been much easier for me to part with things that no longer are useful in my life and the biggie for me is sentimental knick knacks from my great grandmother, great aunts and other deceased family.
    So perhaps the bigger question is how to become emotionally healthy so that hoarding and other associated behaviors fall away? For myself I like 12-step programs. Currently I am working the Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families 12 step program. I am decluttering my internal landscape of messages I received as a child which caused me to hide in unhealthful behaviors like emotional shopping, overeating, binge TV watching, escapist reading,...
    Give yourself a big hug and acknowledgment for all that you have already done. Being aware and willing is a great first step.

I don't really see myself as a hoarder so much as someone too tired and busy with other stuff to handle these other things. I personally do not buy  a lot of stuff. I have other people who do that for me. I get a lot of stuff from family. Yesterday my neighbor brought over bags and bags of old clothes and toys from her kids. Normally I'd just shove it in a closet because it's exhausting to even think about. Yesterday, however, I went through it all immediately. Things my kids could wear I immediately put in laundry. Things that they could wear in the future were bagged and labeled as such and immediately put in the correct spot. Things that were ripped or dirty I immediately disposed of. So it helped to deal with it immediately. I do have some bags of stuff my MIL has given me just sitting in my closet though. I need to go through them and see if they're keep or dispose of stuff but blah! So, that's my problem. I get a lot of stuff from elsewhere and finding energy to deal with it is hard. My infant is 11 months and she was up 3 times last night. That's normal for her. I'm tired ya'll.

It's trivial for me to use a scoop shovel to throw away other people's stuff. Much harder to use that technique on my own stuff.

If my clutter is due to other people's actions, then it may be appropriate for me to learn to say NO when they try to dump their clutter off at my place.

elle sagenev wrote:

denise ra wrote:I love the honesty of the posters in this thread. I have a problem with paper and books. They tend to cover all level surfaces. 6 years ago when I was selling my house my best friend helped me get rid of things I was keeping. it was motivational to have her come in and say nope that's trash, nope you don't need that,.... Sometimes she only came in for 5 minutes to give me a jump start. Unfortunately, I ended up with two storage units after selling the house which I've just spent the last 6 years decluttering.
    Clutter is not about stuff, it's about my emotional state. If I am hoarding, there is an emotional basis for this. As I have become more emotionally healthy, it has been much easier for me to part with things that no longer are useful in my life and the biggie for me is sentimental knick knacks from my great grandmother, great aunts and other deceased family.
    So perhaps the bigger question is how to become emotionally healthy so that hoarding and other associated behaviors fall away? For myself I like 12-step programs. Currently I am working the Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families 12 step program. I am decluttering my internal landscape of messages I received as a child which caused me to hide in unhealthful behaviors like emotional shopping, overeating, binge TV watching, escapist reading,...
    Give yourself a big hug and acknowledgment for all that you have already done. Being aware and willing is a great first step.

I don't really see myself as a hoarder so much as someone too tired and busy with other stuff to handle these other things. I personally do not buy  a lot of stuff. I have other people who do that for me. I get a lot of stuff from family. Yesterday my neighbor brought over bags and bags of old clothes and toys from her kids. Normally I'd just shove it in a closet because it's exhausting to even think about. Yesterday, however, I went through it all immediately. Things my kids could wear I immediately put in laundry. Things that they could wear in the future were bagged and labeled as such and immediately put in the correct spot. Things that were ripped or dirty I immediately disposed of. So it helped to deal with it immediately. I do have some bags of stuff my MIL has given me just sitting in my closet though. I need to go through them and see if they're keep or dispose of stuff but blah! So, that's my problem. I get a lot of stuff from elsewhere and finding energy to deal with it is hard. My infant is 11 months and she was up 3 times last night. That's normal for her. I'm tired ya'll.

Wow, congratulations on going through it right away!

Kids are exhausting.  You have a lot going on, and you're doing more than you give yourself credit for, I think. :)

I would encourage you that you don't need to keep something just because it was given to you and isn't damaged.  Pick the most practical stuff and send the rest on to charity.  Obviously if there's still room in what you need/will need then ignore me. :)

On my side, my BF and I each took a bag of stuff* to the Umsonstladen (free shop) yesterday.  Then I came home with one bag full.  Sigh.

*we'd take more but everyone's been stuck at home decluttering so they've asked that people only bring one bag per person per visit

Another bag of donations out of the closet. Looking emptier.

elle sagenev wrote:I have GOT to get our house stuff under control. We have a lot. like A LOT! It's stressing me out.

So I'm going to share some pics and some struggles as we kind of sort of march toward minimalism.


I will say my hubs has been super against it. He really doesn't want to throw things out. He keeps mentioning the chance we might need it again. So, this is a struggle ya'll.

Hi,
I did this work last year, so I'll share what I've learned since.

First. You must create an arrangement if you don't have it already. This is the most vital part of it. Everything has to have a place if you want everything in its place. How do you do that?
Well, you have a problem with the current stuff that is not letting you see the space. You must see the empty space and the best way is to have it empty.  So take, for example, a wardrobe and get rid of everything it has inside, put it all somewhere else in a pile where it does disturb your view of the wardrobe. Have you seen already your available space? Yes? Good.
Now, take a few minutes thinking what do you need to keep inside. What you really, absolutely, need. A few socks, a few pants, a few shirts. Maybe casual trousers, church trousers, you name it. Think what can go where. Grab the best stuff you have in the pile that suits with the absolute needs. 3 or 4 pairs of your best socks, 3 to 4 of your best pants, so forth, and put them where they fit best, hangers or drawers or shelves.
Is there anything of what you absolutely must have that you don't have? Leave an empty space for that stuff and make a note to purchase it later.
Have you some spare space still? You should. Then, think what it would be lovely to have, even if it is not absolutely needed, but try to be meager here. If you have one pair of trousers for training, a second pair of trousers is fine, four is too much. Pick that stuff if you have it in your pile and put it again in place, otherwise leave the space empty.
Has your wardrobe still some spare space? Don't use it. Leave always 10-15% of free space for some stuff that you might need in the future. Otherwise, next time you buy a new cloth that you must wear, you will have nowhere to put it and it will end up in the wrong place.
If you have done this right, you'll end up with half of the clothing still in the pile. When I did this, I found that I had too many sweaters and almost no shorts. Congratulations! You have arranged your wardrobe. A plus if you arranged it in a way that you can see all your stuff with a single eyesight.
Well, at least for this season. Clothing is better arranged twice a year. It takes a couple to three hours to do this properly with a wardrobe. Next day face the book shelves!
The remaining stuff? Most of it is trash and besides you don't have room for them in your life. If there's anything you feel sentimentally attached to, put it somewhere else for the moment, otherwise get rid of them.
In my experience, you will need to rearrange things from time to time (kitchenware changes with babies, clothing is seasonal, getting a new hobby comes with new stuff), but the second time is much much easier.

Second. Maintenance. Oh man, entropy happens. If you did the previous work, you will have a place for all your things, and not too many things to deal with, but even so they seem to avoid getting in their place. You need to set the habit of tidying up daily. For example, after your daily shower, go find all the stuff that is not in its place. It would be best if you tidy up after using the stuff, but life is messy. If a daily work is too much for you, then do it at least once a week, that depends on how much the clutter bothers you.

Third. Keep your stuff under control. It's tempting to buy new stuff, but since you must stick with the space available, if you let something new in then you must throw away something else.


Then, a few tricks.
-If you can't find it, it is as if you don't have it. It's better if you arrange them in a way that you can see everything you have without having to rummage inside boxes.
-You don't need to keep things that you don't usually use. Most things can be rented if the occasion calls for it. It's actually cheaper than losing valuable storing space.
-An alternative to renting is to buy second handed, and to sell it back once you are done.
-It's easier to keep a tidy house clean and tidy. The more ordered you have it, the easier it gets.
-Furniture doors are your friends. Nothing ever looks untidy behind a door!
-Avoid piling things in the floor, this attracts clutter.
-Boxes are for sets of stuff. A christmas box, a Halloween box with a label outside is fine. Just don't mix different sets in the same box.
-The best moment to start is TODAY. If you leave it for tomorrow, you might never start tidying up. Seriously, if you want it done, don't delay it.

HERBS- my husband has been complaining that they are so stuffed in the cupboard that they fall out as you try to grab what you need. So there are other things in the works to handle the problem but I took out all of the spices and realized we had multiple jars of the same thing and a lot of them were also open. Nuts. So I took mason jars and combined all multiple jars of spices. Daughter labeled them, happily. Threw away some spices that had gotten nasty. Things are looking up!!!

the kitchen and general decluttering i find is an ongoing thing- and I'm just about due for it. Since the pandemic began I've done the pantry draw-down once and it's time to do it again. Just yesterday I found quinoa that I had imagined was black sesame seed, I'm unearthing buried treasure in the pantry.

So the decluttering has hit a bit of a snag. I was doing decorations last night. I did manage to get rid of a lot of my decorations. I don't like cleaning and I almost never dust so decorations are really ugly in our house, covered in dust. Anyway, that wasn't the problem. The problem was finding a box in the bottom of a closet with tape and crap and I just threw it all out. Husband saw it and took out one of the things and cleaned it up and now it's in the playroom. It's the first thing he's "rescued" from me. He has said his big concern with me minimalizing is that I tend to purge heavily. He's worried I'm going to get rid of things we "need". I'm going to have to slow down the purge to avoid marital issues.

It's hard for me to get rid of stuff at my place, cause of the dumpster divers, so I often hide it in the garbage can under gross stuff like non-bagged kitchen refuse, or I drop the clutter into an off-site trash can, for example when I visit my daddy.

I have now organized the kids bathroom and my sons closet- which was TERRIBLE! I removed 6 bags of trash from the house yesterday and 4 bags of donate. There is also a lot of the nicer household stuff in the basement waiting for the yearly yard sale a Ladies group I'm in does. The close is still pretty darn full but now it's organized at least. The top has all my bee/animal stuff, the shelf below has lights, rags and painting stuff. The rest is kids shower stuff.

A van full of trash and donations.

Great job, Elle!!!

Look at all the DVDs we had. Our infant LOVED chucking dvd cases all over the living room and it was just chaos. So I bought these cases and last night the kids took all the DVD's out of their cases and put them in this thing. What a difference!

I need help on one area in my kitchen. We have the pig/scrap bucket to the right of the sink. I'd like to do a 0 counter but I have no idea where to put this bucket.

"A person who owns little, is little owned".  Minimalist living.

The bucket area

a.) Redesign trash can pull-out trolley to also hold pig bucket. That way it's close to the sink for food prep or plate scraping, and close to garbage for last-minute diversion either way. Possibility exists for a bucket that fits this better than your current one, maybe a square or rectangle shape? Choose a bucket that you're sure you can replace and not foul-up the idea... or buy spares and hide them...(which is a bit like hoarding. so be careful)

b.) Hang from a hook on the wall to the right of dishwasher, also handy for plate scraping, not so much for choosing between trash/pigs... might be okay for food prep if it happens above dishwasher. Cons: wall will get soiled. glass or plexiglass shield might help, but it's a solution that requires another solution of it's own to work...

c.) Maybe a spot under the other counter that works if food prep happens there? Trying to stay near the source.

The source is the biggest consideration, stay nearby and to keep it easy and contain the mess.
Traffic flow is another consideration, closer to the door out to the pigs makes the chore easy and not an interruption to cooking or washing up.

Kenneth Elwell wrote:
b.) Hang from a hook on the wall to the right of dishwasher, also handy for plate scraping.......Cons: wall will get soiled. glass or plexiglass shield might help,

...

The source is the biggest consideration, stay nearby and to keep it easy and contain the mess.
Traffic flow is another consideration, closer to the door out to the pigs makes the chore easy and not an interruption to cooking or washing up.

Both of these are exactly what I was thinking.
My compost and rabbit buckets are the only things I have on the counter. I take them both out at least once a day and I want them as easy access as possible.

Thanks guys. I had hoped to get it off the counter but I see the same things you do, it needs to be in that general area and it tends to come with a BIG MESS because the kids scrape their own plates into it. The problem is that with the bucket on that tiny bit of counter other stuff tends to join it and then it's clutter area. Blah

It's spreading. My husband cleaned up a massive area of clutter in our bedroom and it looks SO NICE now! Yahoo!!!

So I haven't really decluttered much else right now. Though we did put Christmas stuff out and I usually put out more but didn't. In fact I allowed myself to throw away worn decorations.


Oh I did do a fun activity with the kids. I sat them down and had them list every toy they could think of. Then they gave me the lists and if it wasn't on the list I got rid of it. There was some mild panic as they saw me grab things out and yelled to each other to make sure it was on someone's list. I wasn't cruel about it but I let them know if they couldn't remember it they didn't need it. I really need to go through our infants stuff as she has a lot.

Current decluttering goals:

Infant toys

Daughters clothes- condensing from 2 dressers to 1.

House plants, find a place or get rid of.

Decluttered games and baking pans.

My pantry has a ton of empty space now as well.

I have a storage bench a the door that has winter gloves and hats and flashlights. It wasn't able to close. So I got a basket per person and the kids picked 2 hats and 2 gloves. The rest are being donated.

The hardest thing for me is going to be simplifying books. It's full. These are only kid books.

So it's been a year or more. Just thought I'd update.

I'm no where near done. I don't know if I'll ever be done because stuff is always bring brought into the house and I'm always having to go through it.

However, there is a marked change in our house. The kids used to be hysterical about cleaning up the play room and I don't blame them. It was overwhelmingly full of stuff. We have cut down dramatically on toys. Hugely dramatically. They aren't playing less, in fact they're playing way better. They are better focused and more creative with the toys we have left. We have 3 gym mats and those things can be made into houses, slides, boats, horses, on and on and on. We could have just the gym mats and they'd be fully occupied.

I can clean up the rest of the house without too much effort. We went through the kitchen again last weekend and I realized that it made no sense. Why are the pots I use the most in the cabinet farthest from the stove? So things were rearranged and more excess was purged. It feels a lot better and really, makes more sense.

There has been push back from my husband. Honey if you are reading this I love you to death. He has a harder time purging things than I do and it's not helped by the fact that the can opener I kept broke literally the day I'd gotten rid of the extras.

Our now 2 year old is really helping with this though. She's the kind of child that never stops and cares very little for her safety. So things are purged that are within her reach and a danger. The drawer absolutely stuffed with pens and markers is basically empty.

Kids clothes can get super overwhelming, even for the kids. So I decided I'd keep a certain number of shirts and pants and everything else would go. It doesn't matter how pretty it is, we have met our quota and it's out. This has made a really big difference in bedrooms, which have never had toys in them but the clothes seem to have taken their place as clutter.

I've discovered that visual clutter is a trigger for my anxiety. I've brought up getting a PAX unit from IKEA for our dining room which has all our canning jars, our kombucha stuffs, our mead brewing, etc. It's stored perfectly fine but in a glass cabinet. I can see it, it bothers me.

I'm no where near perfect. I have a cluttered bathroom cabinet. Gotta look at that but boy do I not want to. I also have a dresser in the hallway that I know needs purged but yeah, energy is low.

elle sagenev wrote: I'm no where near done. I don't know if I'll ever be done because stuff is always bring brought into the house and I'm always having to go through it.

This is very good to hear you say--as I face trying to begin a massive de-junking project here. The massive inflow from kind family and friends is never going to stop. So I am going to have to be very disciplined and routine about regular outflow to the thrift stores, etc. It will not be "done" until I die, but like you have already, I can learn to manage it better.  

elle sagenev wrote: I can clean up the rest of the house without too much effort. We went through the kitchen again last weekend and I realized that it made no sense. Why are the pots I use the most in the cabinet farthest from the stove? So things were rearranged and more excess was purged. It feels a lot better and really, makes more sense.

 I read that Toby Hemenway did that with his rooms, designing useful things in zones to make better arrangements of things that were most used. (That was in "The Permaculture City".)

elle sagenev wrote: Kids clothes can get super overwhelming, even for the kids. So I decided I'd keep a certain number of shirts and pants and everything else would go. It doesn't matter how pretty it is, we have met our quota and it's out. This has made a really big difference in bedrooms, which have never had toys in them but the clothes seem to have taken their place as clutter.

  I need to do this with clothes, toys, EVERYTHING of my daughter's except books. Books...are the delight and bane of my existence. (My library is busy discarding all the books I would ever want to read, and so I feel like I have to save them. But my house does not have the capacity for the massive amount of books the library has tossed. But if I don't save them, I know I will never see them again...it's very hard.)

elle sagenev wrote:I've discovered that visual clutter is a trigger for my anxiety.

 Apparently visual clutter triggers our limbic systems to anxiety and depression...I know, right? So I've got to get this going. Stat.

elle sagenev wrote: I'm no where near perfect. I have a cluttered bathroom cabinet. Gotta look at that but boy do I not want to. I also have a dresser in the hallway that I know needs purged but yeah, energy is low.

Well, maybe you feel bad about not being perfect, but you've certainly inspired me, so thank you for your posts and thoughts. I do hope that your progress inspires you to keep chipping away at what's left, with some really peppy music! Good luck with the next projects!

Elle, it sounds like you've done so much work on this! It really is inspiring!

elle sagenev wrote:I've discovered that visual clutter is a trigger for my anxiety. I've brought up getting a PAX unit from IKEA for our dining room which has all our canning jars, our kombucha stuffs, our mead brewing, etc. It's stored perfectly fine but in a glass cabinet. I can see it, it bothers me.

I'm no where near perfect. I have a cluttered bathroom cabinet. Gotta look at that but boy do I not want to. I also have a dresser in the hallway that I know needs purged but yeah, energy is low.

I find seeing clutter super anxiety provoking as well. I judged myself for it for a long time, but accepting it makes me so much less stressed! When I ignored it, the anxiety would just build til I melted down about something small seeming.

Something I've found super helpful is making sure that after I clean up an area of clutter, I really take the time to let in how it feels. Sometimes I even walk back out of the room and back in so I can get a fresh perspective and really feel that what I did made a difference, not only in the feel of the room, but in the way I feel being there. When I remember to do that, I feel so much more energized and encouraged by cleaning. It's always okay to just take a break, too.

Is it possible you could cover up the glass by attaching paper or cloth on the inside of the glass? Or put a tapestry or tablecloth over it? At least as a temporary fix until you can get an opaque cabinet for the dining room, or possibly instead. Just so it's not adding to the anxiety and draining what energy you do have.

Elle, it is great to see an update on this thread.

There are so many great ideas here that will refresh our minds and get everyone back into the groove.

I love seeing all the pictures of your progress.

Keep up the good work towards de-cluttering your life!

Rachel Lindsay wrote:
This is very good to hear you say--as I face trying to begin a massive de-junking project here. The massive inflow from kind family and friends is never going to stop. So I am going to have to be very disciplined and routine about regular outflow to the thrift stores, etc. It will not be "done" until I die, but like you have already, I can learn to manage it better.  

I need to do this with clothes, toys, EVERYTHING of my daughter's except books. Books...are the delight and bane of my existence. (My library is busy discarding all the books I would ever want to read, and so I feel like I have to save them. But my house does not have the capacity for the massive amount of books the library has tossed. But if I don't save them, I know I will never see them again...it's very hard.)

My mother in law is a lovely woman who can't pass up a deal and usually passes that "stuff" on to me. It is a lot of clothes and bathroom stuff. Some other stuff. It's every single week when we go to dinner. I used to keep it all. Now I have a box in my closet and I take things out, look at them and then put them immediately into my donate box. On the rare occasion where it's something we need I keep it without guilt. Having a box always handy to put stuff in has made it much easier to declutter things.


So I used to be you with books. I adore books and I want them all. I had shelves. Even now, books are the item I am most often cleaning up from other areas and returning to the playroom. However, kids actually get anxiety from too much stuff too. So I've done many purges of books. It's amazing how easy it is for kids to get rid of things. I'd have 3 piles, books to keep, books to donate and ripped/trash books. At this point in time I no longer keep anything that is broken. We have so much stuff there is no point in hanging on to something to "eventually fix". I would tell the kids, keep all you like so long as it fits on the shelf. They've gone from an IKEA box shelf full of stuff to one shelf of books and they're totally happy. I myself parted with all but my absolute favorite books, they fit easily on less than one shelf. I wasn't reading before because I was so overwhelmed. Now I have time to relax and read and it's because I got rid of stuff. So stop hoarding library books, pick your favorites and let the rest go. You and your family will thank you.

However, if they are an emotional thing to you, do books last. When your decluttering muscles are stronger.

Heather Sharpe wrote:Elle, it sounds like you've done so much work on this! It really is inspiring!

I find seeing clutter super anxiety provoking as well. I judged myself for it for a long time, but accepting it makes me so much less stressed! When I ignored it, the anxiety would just build til I melted down about something small seeming.

Something I've found super helpful is making sure that after I clean up an area of clutter, I really take the time to let in how it feels. Sometimes I even walk back out of the room and back in so I can get a fresh perspective and really feel that what I did made a difference, not only in the feel of the room, but in the way I feel being there. When I remember to do that, I feel so much more energized and encouraged by cleaning. It's always okay to just take a break, too.

Is it possible you could cover up the glass by attaching paper or cloth on the inside of the glass? Or put a tapestry or tablecloth over it? At least as a temporary fix until you can get an opaque cabinet for the dining room, or possibly instead. Just so it's not adding to the anxiety and draining what energy you do have.

I had thought of that and I put some contact paper on a list. I'll try it out and see if it makes a difference.

I've told my husband and children that the kitchen is key to my mental health. The more cluttered the kitchen gets the more my mental state decays. This is not helped by it being the most used room in the house. The counters collect everything. It's very stressful. So I usually clean off the kitchen counters daily and it's helped me out so much!

Alright, I did the contact paper and it's awesome.

Oh, very pretty, and that has to be such a relief!

Hi Elle, Thanks for sharing your efforts! you have inspired me to make an start.
We have some building work to do and the more I can get rid of the easier the jobs will be. I think I'll start on my wardrobe, since that will probably be the easiest for me (books definitely last!) Any tips on getting rid of other peoples clutter? We have too many dead computers and electrical leads and they're not mine.....

Nancy Reading wrote:Hi Elle, Thanks for sharing your efforts! you have inspired me to make an start.
We have some building work to do and the more I can get rid of the easier the jobs will be. I think I'll start on my wardrobe, since that will probably be the easiest for me (books definitely last!) Any tips on getting rid of other peoples clutter? We have too many dead computers and electrical leads and they're not mine.....

Will they notice if you get rid of them? Some things I know I can dispose of and my husband won't notice. However, if it's something that's his I just don't touch it. I do make him touch it though. If it's on the counter in the kitchen it's gotta go. He can move that crap to his spaces but it can't stay in our communal space. He gets that. It took a lot of explaining and it's pretty incomprehensible that the counters are linked to my mental health but they are so he moves it. I find that now that he's aware of clutter he disposes of it himself. He asks me where the donate bin is. He trashes things. It's LOVELY!

If you really need your spouse to look at it just bring it up. "Hey what does this chord go to? Do we even have that anymore? So I can get rid of it?"

Get a container to hold an item/group of items. You can only keep as many of the item as fit in the container. i.e. you can keep as many pants as fit in your drawer. You can keep as many chords as fit in the basket.

Do you have any pets? It would be easy to make a dog bed for the car, or maybe the house with the big chunky blanket:)

Tessa Dawn Nunlist wrote:Do you have any pets? It would be easy to make a dog bed for the car, or maybe the house with the big chunky blanket:)

too many pets! lol