Silly Thoughts on the Tiny Ads

The tiny ads amuse me beyond words. :D I'm a giggler and a silly sort, and I think things when I see them, I can't be the only one, tell us what you think of a particular ad!

This thread started due to Make yourself as serene as a flower, as a tree. And on wednesdays, as serene as this tiny ad:
And so I wonder, are the tiny ads only serene on Wednesday? I have to wonder what kind of chaos they cause on other days? Hmm..

I like this one...  "It's weird that we cook bacon and bake cookies. Eat this tiny ad:"

Bill Crim wrote:I like this one...  "It's weird that we cook bacon and bake cookies. Eat this tiny ad:"

We also drive on parkways and park on driveways. English makes no sense some days :)
What do tiny ads taste like?

Pearl Sutton wrote:

Bill Crim wrote:I like this one...  "It's weird that we cook bacon and bake cookies. Eat this tiny ad:"

We also drive on parkways and park on driveways. English makes no sense some days :)
What do tiny ads taste like?

And why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Are we being biased against tiny ads or big ones?

I think fat chance can only be said in a sarcastic tone of voice - nearly always punctuated with a scoff.

I adore these ads, they are so unassuming that my adblock doesn't even recognise them and they don't link to anything I'm not 100% in favour of.

I adore the ads because they make me laugh. I do look at the products they sell, because I look at them, I run a lot of adblockers and ignore ads that i don't block. I DO NOT click on advertising, or even read it. But I read them. And laugh :)

Travis: You know about cultural expectations of appropriate body sizes, and of appropriate serving sizes, what IS the appropriate tiny ad size?! Let's get metaphysical! :D

It's exactly the same and completely different as this tiny ad:

And that one's kind of zen... Is it here? Is it there? Where IS the essence of tiny ad?

I am going to test your electrical conductivity with this tiny ad:
How, exactly, do you go about this? Smear my body up with butter and wire me to a tiny ad? (Bonus points if you get that reference!) How do you know if I'm conductive? Will the tiny ad glow? Will I?  
Deep thoughts on tiny ads...

Pearl Sutton wrote:I adore the ads because they make me laugh. I do look at the products they sell, because I look at them, I run a lot of adblockers and ignore ads that i don't block. I DO NOT click on advertising, or even read it. But I read them. And laugh :)

Travis: You know about cultural expectations of appropriate body sizes, and of appropriate serving sizes, what IS the appropriate tiny ad size?! Let's get metaphysical! :D

Pearl: Using tongue in cheek humor here, I think we should rate tiny ads in convenient sizes...you know, like dress sizes; like say 2, 4, 6, 8, etc. That way if the ad is effective at say size 6 (which would be a short, concise ad) then it would be looked at as a favorable ad, and all ad companies around the world would try and have a size 6 ad...you know just like dress sizes. But if an ad was say longer, and could not pack the punch we could call it a ad size of 16.

In this way we could make advertisers feel self conscious about their ads, kind of like how female clothing companies make innocent women feel about their looks, reducing their personalities, quirks, lifestyles, down to a single number. Yes...you have made it if your diet has shrunk you down to a dress size of 6 even if you had to obatin from your family 3 hours each day by being at the gym and drinking zucchini shakes, but so sorry...you are not "eye candy" if you are a size 12.

Oh would that not be funny, an advertiser trying to peddle a $195 dress by being on a size 2 model, but getting a rating of 16 for their advertisement? Oh the sweet revenge of humanity!

(Written by a husband and father of 5 daughters who get bombarded with over 600 images per day of what the world thinks the "ideal" woman should look like.)

Pearl Sutton wrote:I am going to test your electrical conductivity with this tiny ad:
How, exactly, do you go about this? Smear my body up with butter and wire me to a tiny ad? (Bonus points if you get that reference!) How do you know if I'm conductive? Will the tiny ad glow? Will I?  
Deep thoughts on tiny ads...

Pearl I have actually wondered that: just how many electrons were hurt in the making of the 2000 plus posts I have made on here? Were they just rearranged, deranged, or just had their feelings hurt? I am thinking they probably just gave a curtsy and moved on.

"It would give a normal human mental abilities to rival mine.  To think it is just a tiny ad:"

Who writes these....I love them for it!!!

Greg Martin wrote:"It would give a normal human mental abilities to rival mine.  To think it is just a tiny ad:"

Who writes these....I love them for it!!!

I asked the same thing... Paul Wheaton!!  Tiny ads comment
I have extensive quote files I have been accumulating since I was 18 (LOOONG ago!) things out of books mostly, I went through a couple section of them, sent him a pile of quotes to play with, it amuses me to see mine go boy. But Paul turns the quotes into magic ads :) He rocks!! :D

Travis: takes me more thought to reply to yours :)

Travis Johnson wrote: Oh would that not be funny, an advertiser trying to peddle a $195 dress by being on a size 2 model, but getting a rating of 16 for their advertisement? Oh the sweet revenge of humanity!

Fat shaming the annoying advertisers! I LOVE it!!

I run ad blockers, pop up blockers and blah blah blah, I DO NOT LIKE ADS. I want to start a trend for fat shaming the annoying ones. And what about the ads that you can't even tell what they are for? I glance through magazines at the store, I see ads with just some pouting over-made up anorexic twit and a logo with no words. That's like a size 30 on your scale.

And on that same rant, who decided women's clothing models need to pout? A friend of mine loves the clothes on one site, I don't like the clothes, but will click her links to see what she likes. ALL of the models look like they HATE being there. Not a smile on the site. Whole batch looks like they need heavy meds or something. Even if I did like the clothes, I doubt I'd buy anything from them because their photography annoys me.

And then there's the cultural thing of models being a size 0. That's called anorexic. It ain't pretty. STOP IT!! ARRRGH!! It makes the world SO much more difficult for real women. Why prepubescent famine victims are sexy, I'll never know. Force feed those women for a month. Lord knows they make enough money to be able to afford to eat.  End rant :)

just how many electrons were hurt in the making of the 2000 plus posts I have made on here? Were they just rearranged, deranged, or just had their feelings hurt?  

What if they weren't hurt, you always hear about electrons get excited easy. Maybe you thrill them when you post... Ohhh yes, type more, type more!! Electrons love us wordy types...
This may be why it seems my computer screen always needs cleaning... :)
I am laughing like a loon here....

Pearl Sutton wrote:

just how many electrons were hurt in the making of the 2000 plus posts I have made on here? Were they just rearranged, deranged, or just had their feelings hurt?  

What if they weren't hurt, you always hear about electrons get excited easy. Maybe you thrill them when you post... Ohhh yes, type more, type more!! Electrons love us wordy types...
This may be why it seems my computer screen always needs cleaning... :)
I am laughing like a loon here....

Well as long as my posts get on here, I am sure quite a few electrons have got so excited they had orgasms on the way from my laptop in Maine, to the servers in Montana.

Darn electrongasm...procreates even more wordy posts by making more words.

Pearl Sutton wrote:And on that same rant, who decided women's clothing models need to pout? A friend of mine loves the clothes on one site, I don't like the clothes, but will click her links to see what she likes. ALL of the models look like they HATE being there. Not a smile on the site. Whole batch looks like they need heavy meds or something. Even if I did like the clothes, I doubt I'd buy anything from them because their photography annoys me.

Oh...she must like Modcloth? Katie likes their vintage clothing, hates their prices, but man do the models ever pout.

I have some ideas on how to cure that. I am thinking something along the lines of my post above, excited electrons! Maybe a few electrogasms would take the pout off their over-paid faces.

…

As for your rant, I always wanted to start a company that rated advertisements so that they could be held accountable for how annoying they are. I would be especially hard on political ads...both sides of the aisle...into shaming them into being nice.

Pearl Sutton wrote:

Greg Martin wrote:"It would give a normal human mental abilities to rival mine.  To think it is just a tiny ad:"

Who writes these....I love them for it!!!

I asked the same thing... Paul Wheaton!!  Tiny ads comment
I have extensive quote files I have been accumulating since I was 18 (LOOONG ago!) things out of books mostly, I went through a couple section of them, sent him a pile of quotes to play with, it amuses me to see mine go boy. But Paul turns the quotes into magic ads :) He rocks!! :D

Not just Paul! Cassie Langstraat and Karen Donnachaidh wrote a lot of them! Sometimes if I'm writing a dailyish and want the ad to match, I'll write up a custom one. Those aren't nearly as funny, though!

(In homage to Karen: I miss you Karen!!! I hope life is treating you well and you can one day return to the land of permies)

Travis Johnson wrote:
As for your rant, I always wanted to start a company that rated advertisements so that they could be held accountable for how annoying they are. I would be especially hard on political ads...both sides of the aisle...into shaming them into being nice.

And dock them points for mudslinging. And for things that appeal to emotions with zero logic added. Mom gave me some political mail yesterday "what does this even mean? They don't SAY anything!"  Do it. You know you want to. Become the nemesis of the advertisers :)

It's not Modcloth. The first 5 models I saw there didn't look bad at all. I'll ask her which it is, some bohemian raw weave place out of AU. I lost my browser history a while back, can't dredge it up.

Nicole Alderman wrote:
Not just Paul! Cassie Langstraat and Karen Donnachaidh wrote a lot of them! Sometimes if I'm writing a dailyish and want the ad to match, I'll write up a custom one. Those aren't nearly as funny, though!

Well, I guess it's official then....Paul, Cassie, Karen and you too Nicole....I guess I love you all!!!  Thank you so much for the laughs!

Oh and I forgot you too Pearl...all that are involved in this content :)

this is supposed to be a surprise, but it smells like a tiny ad:

What do tiny ads smell like? Does it depend on what they ate? What they rolled in? Do they wear perfume? Are they trying to attract or repel potential mates or predators?
The things that puzzle me....

You ought to ventilate your mind and let the cobwebs out of it. Use this cup to catch the tiny ads:
Are there tiny ads in there!? Get the shop vac!!!
Singing to the tune of The Cranberries "Zombie"  
What's in your head, in your head? Tiny ads, tiny ads, tiny ads and cobwebs!!

Oh dear! I just saw another tiny ad that goes with that one!!
Is that a spider in your hair?  Here, threaten it with this tiny ad:
Ok, do I have spiders? Tiny ads? WHAT'S IN MY HEAD AND HAIR???
I think I need to shower!!

When all four tires fall off your canoe, how many tiny ads does it take to build a doghouse?
13.2   Everyone knows that!

Pearl Sutton wrote:When all four tires fall off your canoe, how many tiny ads does it take to build a doghouse?
13.2   Everyone knows that!

I think it really depends on how skilled those tiny ads are. I mean, wouldn't tiny ads be little mythical creatures, like gnomes or fairies or--gasp!--gremlins? Wouldn't some be more skilled at certain things than others, kind of like David the Gnome could track well. blow glass, and nurse animal back to heath, and his wife, Lisa excelled at dying cloth, cooking and spinning yarn?

(I need to read my Gnome book again...and watch "David the Gnome" with my kids )

Nicole Alderman wrote:

Pearl Sutton wrote:When all four tires fall off your canoe, how many tiny ads does it take to build a doghouse?
13.2   Everyone knows that!

I think it really depends on how skilled those tiny ads are. I mean, wouldn't tiny ads be little mythical creatures, like gnomes or fairies or--gasp!--gremlins? Wouldn't some be more skilled at certain things than others, kind of like David the Gnome could track well. blow glass, and nurse animal back to heath, and his wife, Lisa excelled at dying cloth, cooking and spinning yarn?

(I need to read my Gnome book again...and watch "David the Gnome" with my kids )

That's where the .2 comes from... the ones who can't do a lot of what needs to be done in doghouse building
Personally, I see tiny ads more as Nac Mac Feegles. ... Piles of chaos, high energy and weirdness

A guy I know, when at Walmart, complained that the wheels on the carts never worked right, why is that? I made up on the spot gnomes who come in at night and hammer on the frame to get the wheels messed up. Because really, those carts don't have that hard of a life, they don't boondock, they are in the store or the parking lot. there IS no excuse... unless it only comes out at night with a hammer...
He says I need either more or less drugs, he wasn't sure which. I told him I do zero drugs, he says that's just scary then. Normal humans are SO easy to freak.

I had to look up "Nac Mac Feegles," because, despite reading at least 500 fantasy/sci-fi novels, I haven't read many of the well-known ones, like Discworld. I only read the ones my mom had in her large sci-fi/fantasy library (Best.Mom. Ever! I still borrow books from her).

Anyway, all this talk of tiny ads has me thinking about gremlins. Way back, I read this series of fantasy novels where a programmer was transported to a magical realm where coding caused magic, and gremlins were real. I have NO IDEA if programmers still talk about glitches as gremlins, but the thought stuck with me.

Some background on Gremlins:

https://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/gremlin wrote: A gremlin is an imaginary creature that causes trouble in devices and systems of all kinds. During the Second World War, the term was used by British airmen to refer to ongoing trouble with aircraft in spite of mechanics' best efforts. Gremlins sometimes appear today in computer systems and networks.

Although gremlins never do their dirty work in plain sight, a gremlin is usually portrayed as a small troll-like creature. No one has ever seen one and caught it in the act of sabotaging an aircraft, radio transmitter, computer, robot, or other system. The instant any human looks for a gremlin, it vanishes, although evidence of its mischief may remain. Gremlins are particularly adept at causing intermittent malfunctions, which have been the bane of technicians and engineers for centuries.

(Pearl, reading the above definition, it looks like it should have been GREMLINS, not gnomes, that messed with the carts. Gnomes are generally helpful, aside from those mean ones that interbred with trolls.. Anyway, the poor cashier must have had no sense of humor or imagination if he was weirded out by you talking about gnomes!!!)

https://www.netlingo.com/word/gremlins.php wrote:The mysterious characters that sometimes appear on your computer screen, often in text documents and sometimes in code or e-mail messages.

For instance, if you copy the contents of a file from one program to another by highlighting the text with your cursor and then cutting-and-pasting, strange boxes or symbols may appear in the white space. At that point, you have to figure out another way to transfer the information or you have to go through and delete the bad characters, all the while muttering, "Darn gremlins."

I can assure you all that our dailyish emails do often come with gremlins. Little random characters DO love to appear when we copy and paste. I try to find and squish them all...but they're ticksy little fellows.

The tiny ads are bits of code are usually selected randomly from our giant database of man-made silly lines and another list of ads. To me, they are friendly helpers, rather than the mischievous boogers who make things go awry when I try to send one out.

So, what type of traditional fairy creature is helpful and kind, but likes to tinker with machinery. Maybe Dwarves? Perhaps tiny ads are Dwarves! In which case, I think it would only take one Tiny Ad to build a doghouse.

I knew gremlins would be the most likely ones in the night, but I was already SO far past his reality point, it didn't matter.
I spend a LOT of time past people's reality points....

 I read this series of fantasy novels where a programmer was transported to a magical realm where coding caused magic, and gremlins were real.

That's really familiar, I can't recall what series, remind me?

And I think Tiny Ads are not dwarves,  they are their own weird little life forms :) Maybe we need to figure out what they would look like... hm...

That's really familiar, I can't recall what series, remind me?

Wizard's Bane by Rick Cook. I went back and "checked" the books out from my mom's "library," but couldn't read them again. I love the premise, but as an adult, I noticed all the chauvinism and vulgarity that somehow had gone right over my head as an innocent teenager. Pretty sure the guy used demons to work his spells.

In a thread on Code Ranch, I asked what to call the opposite of gremlins that mess with codes. So far, they've suggested will-o-th-wisp and leprechauns. I really like the idea of leprechauns. They're mischievous little guys that are hand (they're shoemakers) aaaaand, there's that pot of gold that ever so rarely surprises us.

Ah, yeah, I recall that one. I think I tagged that one "neat premise, crappy writing."

Brownie: a benevolent house fairy thought to have come from Scotland to America by the Scottish immigrants. Associated with the element earth and are also known as a House Brownie or a Little Man. Supposed to pick a house with a nice and caring family in which to aid the woman of the house in her chores. They do so at night when everyone is sleeping. Some believe that brownies have the ability to shapeshift into domestic and farm animals such as a rooster.

I'm voting brownies have moved into computer tech :)
And I think they choose which tiny ads go with which emails, etc. I KNOW it's random, but sometimes it cracks me up which they are with. This morning a notification of a post in the singles section with the tiny ad: Forget this weirdo.  You guys wanna see something really neat?  I just have to take off my shoe .... (hint:  it's a tiny ad)
Cracks me up... I love synchronicity!!
When you start looking close, the tiny ads are interwoven inextricably into the world!!

Nicole Alderman wrote:

https://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/gremlin wrote: A gremlin is an imaginary creature that causes trouble in devices and systems of all kinds. During the Second World War, the term was used by British airmen to refer to ongoing trouble with aircraft in spite of mechanics' best efforts. Gremlins sometimes appear today in computer systems and networks.

Although gremlins never do their dirty work in plain sight, a gremlin is usually portrayed as a small troll-like creature. No one has ever seen one and caught it in the act of sabotaging an aircraft, radio transmitter, computer, robot, or other system. The instant any human looks for a gremlin, it vanishes, although evidence of its mischief may remain. Gremlins are particularly adept at causing intermittent malfunctions, which have been the bane of technicians and engineers for centuries.

I really think we need to be historically accurate when discussing these things. Maybe no human has seen them, but an old timer told me this story...

I keep forgetting to watch Joylynn's Bugs Bunny cartoon. I recall that one from when I was a kid (close to the only cartoon I liked was Bugs Bunny, I like his attitude problem :D ) Need to see it as an adult, I watched some Bugs Bunny a few months ago, my lord, is that stuff ... wow. Non-PC, non.. everything. Need to see the gremlin one again.  :)

I saw a new tiny ad today that makes me think:: The fastest and most reliable components of any system are those that are not there. Tiny ad:
That's so deep it's almost Zen. Started with the basic, yeah, in a computer, it would be, but what about in the garden? Are there things that are effective at their job by being nonexistent? I know there are govt employees that fit that description :) Deep thoughts!

Surfs up space ponies, I'm making gravy without this lumpy, tiny ad:

If you skip the tiny ads when you make gravy, you have to substitute some good hot peppers, or your gravy will not set up right. Trust me on this one, space ponies :D

 
Good heavens! What have you done! Here, try to fix it with this tiny ad:
I'll have to add that to my redneck toolkit: duct tape if it wiggles, WD-40 if it don't wiggle, and tiny ad if uncertain what has happened :)
I'll use some duct tape to hold the tiny ad down in the tool box, they wiggle!

Pearl Sutton wrote:  
Good heavens! What have you done! Here, try to fix it with this tiny ad:
I'll have to add that to my redneck toolkit: duct tape if it wiggles, WD-40 if it don't wiggle, and tiny ad if uncertain what has happened :)
I'll use some duct tape to hold the tiny ad down in the tool box, they wiggle!

Using what you wrote, I added these two to my list:

We can fix it.  We just need some baling wire, some WD-40, a bit of duct tape and this tiny ad:
Quick!  Before anybody notices!  Cover it up with this tiny ad:

That brings the list on my computer to 134.  When it hits 200 I will add them to the sytem.

paul wheaton wrote:
We can fix it.  We just need some baling wire, some WD-40, a bit of duct tape and this tiny ad:
Quick!  Before anybody notices!  Cover it up with this tiny ad:

I love it, now we are finding out where Paul gets the ideas..
I'd vote the first one wants at least one exclamation mark, maybe two
We can fix it!  We just need some baling wire, some WD-40, a bit of duct tape and this tiny ad!

I added an exclamation point!

And, for your help, here are the three previous tiny ads.   I think i put these in yesterday.  Or maybe the day before:

You had your fun.   Now it's time to go to jail.  Thanks for your help tiny ad.
Yeah, but is it art?  What do you think tiny ad?
what if we put solar panels on top of the semi truck trailer?  That could power this tiny ad:

paul wheaton wrote:
You had your fun.   Now it's time to go to jail.  Thanks for your help tiny ad.
Yeah, but is it art?  What do you think tiny ad?
what if we put solar panels on top of the semi truck trailer?  That could power this tiny ad:

Love them!!
Did you ever think you'd have a tiny ads groupie? :D
The world JUST gets weirder!!

Greg Martin wrote:Who writes these

I write 99%.  Maybe 100%.  Although I do get inspiration for about 40% - either from a show, or quoting a famous person or a book or something.

 Now I am super curious what sports would be like if we allowed drugs and tiny ads.
Not being a sports fan, as far as I can tell allowing tiny ads could only improve it, maybe they'd drive out the big ads by sheer overwhelming numbers, like ants can drive out a snake... And drugs! What drugs are we allowing, and who? If the tiny ads were taking drugs.... OH MY. Now THAT I want to see. The players on drugs, meh, not interested, but tiny ads running amok, that sounds fun :) "And the tiny ad grabs the ball and eats it!! The soccer players try to kick the tiny ad, but it levitates over their head and giggles!!" Now that's a sport I would consider watching. :D

paul wheaton wrote:

Greg Martin wrote:Who writes these

I write 99%.  Maybe 100%.  Although I do get inspiration for about 40% - either from a show, or quoting a famous person or a book or something.

My respect for you just got a serious boost.

Tick check! Okay, I guess that was just an itch. Oh wait! Just a tiny ad:
I can't hear Brad Paisley singing "I want to check you for tiny ads"


And one more thought, if ticks pass on lyme disease, what do tiny ads give you?