Olympics of the permie world!

We need our own Olympics. Things that are useful skills!
I will be happy to compete in the Backhand Weed Fling, maybe the Sidearm Weed Fling, definitely not overhand. Points for clearing the fence behind you, penalty for injuring a wanted plant.

I also can compete in the Blindfolded Grass/Garlic ID category. Having worked on a lot of engines and being quite skilled in the Blindfolded Bolt Identification, Removal, and Replacement style, I have transferred my skills to being able to pull grass I cannot see, without killing the garlic it's strangling.

What can you compete at?
:D

l could compete in the Bucket O' Liquid Haul. It's an all-terrain obstacle-filled course. There's slick floor, steps, doorways, mud, rocks, mulch, garden beds and structures to weave among, and randomly placed toys to trip you up while your goal is to take greywater/urine to specific locations. I expect it would be timed and the amount of water successfully delivered is measured. Maybe for fun, onlookers could be involved by hurling things or activating traps.

I'd like to see anybody beat me out in number of goats milked in a half hour...with kids in tow, both kinds.

Also, my husband and I compete together in how many square meters of mulch can we spread during naptime. Bonus points if you weed, plant, harvest, or put away tools before the time runs out!

I dream that maybe someday I'll work up to competing in earth building, fiber arts, and basketry.

It seems logical that permie olympics, instead of being held every four years for a couple of weeks, would be held on four-year cycles with the results being judged at the end of each cycle. That way you could judge things like success of perennial plantings, community growth, water/earthworks, food storage techniques, seed saving/breeding, and durability of structures.

After today's work, I would like to put in my application to compete in the
"Non-dominant hand rock fling into the rock bucket without looking" category.
Having made three in a row, I'm feeling smug and will take on all contestants!
:D

Oh, a good sport I could compete in "Leather gloved catching a vole in the house that the cat brought in"
Extra points for if you can get it a long ways away from the house without the cat or the vole biting you.

Training diligently here for the Stacking Functions competition. Can we make this a team sports event?

For the olympic qualification trials, I executed this move known for it's high-point ranking:
"Rainwater Harvesting x Compost Bins x Rabbit Hutch x Vermicomposting x Privacy Screen x Mini-Barn"



• It's sited in the garden, across from the duck house (so you stand in place and shovel out spent deep liter from the duck house directly into the compost bins)
• Positioned to provide a bit of privacy from our neighbors house while also "hiding" the duck coop from their view
• Two 4x4x4' compost bins flank the central sliding-barn-door storage area, which holds 8 straw bales for duck bedding and all the garden tools
• When it's time to harvest compost, the slats lift out and it's easy access the compost and apply where needed in garden or hoop house
• Rabbit housing sits above the compost bins so their droppings fall directly onto the compost (no cage cleaning!), while ensuring a good nitrogen-to-carbon ratio since our site has massive amounts of greens (carbon) sources
• We grow red wigglers in the compost (to feed the ducks and chickens in Feb and March)
• The extended roof has rainwater collection for the rabbits, ducks, garden, and nearby hoop house (set on drip system). Water is stored in an upcycled IBC tote (330 gallon), the metal frame of which supports vine crops like peas, beans, and cukes,  shading the water during summer months protecting against algae growth
• The roof also has a mini-solar panel facing SW to run 2 small 6" fans to cool the rabbits in summer
• To shade the rabbits from excess equator-facing sun and heat (south here), we planted a lilac and use it for phenology
• When we get adequate rain, we also make compost tea with a bubbler in a 55-gallon bucket beside the IBC tote

I’m a world class Himalayan Blackberry Destroyer.

Zone 5 is often a perfect location for the 50 yard & 100 yard escape the biting & stinging bugs dash. Thorny plants increase the level of difficulty.

Retrieving vehicles stuck in the mud seems like another worthy event. Bonus points if the mud is up to the axles. Naturally this competition is best held at night in stormy weather & far from any tools or help.

Lawn replacement is another. The idea is to remove as much thirsty Bermuda grass as possible & use the land for something better like growing veggies, trees, or animals. Bonus points if you can manage to convince a HOA or other department of sad it's a better way to go. Triple bonus points if it torques off the COWML (church of the well mowed lawns) people & they can't do anything about it.

It seems like every permie competition would include the improper use of dinnerware to dry seeds on the kitchen counter event. The marathon that never ends.

Critter hugel hill climbing. Also stray cow plowing. It could happen.

Stacked function creative equipment repairs. Similar to, but judged differently from the duct tape event.

Clearing hurricane trashed trees with a machete was suggested to me. Going for the gold!!! I might compete in the machete category for salvaging hurricane corn too.

Reflex skill is demonstrated in the Almost Weeded A Bumblebee Hand Snatchback.

Ah. My reflex skill level was apparently not up to par the day my hand was stung. It was so swollen I was leaking fluid out of the pores of my hand. Not a fun few days.

I will add to the reflex skill level competition: Almost Weeded a Snake Hand Snatchback. I failed that one too but luckily it was a garter snake. Both the snake and I were not happy about it.

Robin Katz wrote:Ah. My reflex skill level was apparently not up to par the day my hand was stung. It was so swollen I was leaking fluid out of the pores of my hand. Not a fun few days.

Permie Olympics Medic here. Do stop by the Medi-Mud Shack (cob, of course) if you get stung again. The venom of stinging insects—bees, wasps, yellowjackets—is heat labile. We've got a pile of metal spoons and a kettle of hot water on the far burner (lowest heat setting) of the Lorena Rocket Stove just for stings. Get the spoon as hot as you can stand to hold it against your skin (but not so hot it burns you). Apply the back of the spoon to the affected area for 5-7 minutes, moving in circles to warm the local area. Alternately, rinse the stung area in the hot water or use a hair blow dryer.

The heat breaks down the venom, instantly stops the pain, and prevents the inflammation. In 10 minutes, it'll be like you weren't even stung. Works like magic.

Good to know about the heat treatment. I've tried the vinegar, baking soda, etc. treatments for various stings and they didn't seem to help much.  Since I'm now relatively allergic to stings anything that will denature the venom is very welcome.

Jeanne Wallace wrote:
Permie Olympics Medic here.  

Glad our Olympics have a medic!  
:D
Made me laugh :D

"Made you look twice" event.

Starring a chicken pretending to be dead so she can sun herself in peace without interference from our teenager rooster.


You'll have to trust me that 3 minutes later, she was off looking for bugs!

Homestead Hurdle

Starting at the kitchen window in underwear and bare feet , the goal is to reach an escaped goat wandering toward the garden.  There is strategy involved, should one run out immediately or take the time to put on shoes?  

I have never participated in the following event, but an employee of mine seemed to have set all records in the 300 yard dash and goat carry.   The event begins when you get a phone call from your state cop neighbor that your goat is on top of his squad car dancing.

Robin Katz wrote:Good to know about the heat treatment. I've tried the vinegar, baking soda, etc. treatments for various stings and they didn't seem to help much.  Since I'm now relatively allergic to stings anything that will denature the venom is very welcome.

I also have good luck with just cracking open a benadryl pill and putting the contents on the bee or hornet sting. I always keeps some in my purse (saved my brother when we took our kids to the pumpkin patch and my brother got stung). When my kids were stung multiple times by a hornet up the hill, I put benadryl on each sting, and we all felt fine within like 10 minutes.

I guess to add to the Olympics: Mad dash down a hill, hauling two kids and a bucket of berries to escape hornets. Pretty sure I slapped to death the hornet that was attacking my 1 year old who was strapped to me...

Nicole, I wanted to give an update on your Benadryl remedy for stings. Last night I was stung on the hand and got the usual rapid swelling. I cracked open a generic benadryl, moistened the skin, and put about a quarter of a capsule on the area. Within 10 minutes, pain stopped, swelling stopped. This morning I have a small puncture and small (2 mm) area that's red around the puncture. No other reaction or swelling. Woooo!

Thank you so much for this information! It could literally be a life-saver, especially for multiple stings.

The Non-permies Olympics just happened, and it made me think about this thread needs bumping again!

After this morning's weeding, I will take on any challengers in the category "pulling ONLY the Prostrate Knotweed and NOT the mint, while wearing gloves and unable to see what you were doing."  I am smug that I pulled no mint in that slaughter.

Tall, well overgrown in August mint looks VERY MUCH like tall, well overgrown in August Prostrate Knotweed. Not the good Japanese Knotweed you use for medicinal reasons, the kind that eats any open space it finds and runs totally amok.

(source)

Prostrate Knotweed, much less well grown

The 100 Meter Water Carry. Must carry two buckets of water 100 meters without spilling.

Pfft! Does one gallon in a 5 gallon bucket count?