What we see now in people who go to stay and work outside the country is exactly what my mum’s generation saw in people who would visit back home from town. They looked smarter, more confident and they seemed to be enjoying much of what life offered, and all of them would look down upon rural life. It became a dream to get out of rural life and go into an urban one. Indeed, it was not disappointing when my parents eventually had their own place in town. It was truly more convenient, they had tap
water, electricity, had to put in little physical work to have food on the table, nice clothes and the like. They had decent secure jobs and things used to be like clockwork, you were sure of how tomorrow would be, as long as you continued to work hard.
The majority of mum’s peers took in their siblings and sent them to school, because they wanted them to have this great, easy life. For those family members they could not take in, they would send things back home to help with basic needs. The economy was that good, to enable a new family, to take in extended family, take care of people in the rural homes, while building their nuclear family from scratch. Or was it?
Of the siblings who were taken in, those who made it, afterwards concentrated on their own nuclear families (not that this is a problem but I will explain how it was going off trail for the sibling who took care of others). Some of them never quite got comfortable with town life, so they moved back home adding onto the family that needed to be supported.
Rural homes, in my grandparents’ time, were considered to be the actual homes and towns were just work places usually for men. Rarely would men move their families into town, they would go back home to visit, once, twice or thrice a year. Although some financial support would come from husbands when they would visit, it is clear, judging from the number of times they visited, that whatever work was being done in the rural homes, was taking care of most of the daily needs. This changed however.
By the time mum and her peers started working in towns, they needed to support family back home, for a number of their basics. So many things had changed but also, the fact that whether those able bodied family members worked or not, their basics were met, could have also crippled them. Instead of assistance helping them have an easier start to building a more stable life, I think they started seeing themselves as permanent dependents, meaning, even though they could sometimes make good incomes, they were not be able to see their capability, instead they would wait to get basics catered for and find other things to do with their own generated incomes. At family levels, rural home life became stagnant. In changing times, the way things were done, in houses and fields were the same, nothing was being improved in the equipment that was being used, water sources... What was changing though, was the number of dependents, as the rural based siblings, started their own nuclear families.
Back to the sibling who made it, moved to town and started to take care of others. For any system to be continuous and
sustainable, what goes out
should balance what comes in directly or any other way. From the time my mum’s generation started working, they have been giving. Those siblings who made it could have helped indirectly by being younger and fresh labour into a working economy, which could have maintained steady flow of revenue, that could have helped stabilize
retirement packages for those going into
retirement (this could have been mum’s generation now receiving to balance out what they gave in their working times). But the economy is not working so retirement packages are not even close to covering anyone’s basic needs. Still another way that these siblings could have balanced out the “going out, coming in” equation, could have been remembering that an older brother or sister helped them out and just look out for them in case they needed support which they could offer. Life has changed and more is required to prove success and also to send children to really good schools. Outside the impacts of
politics on our current state, I also believe that we lack a selfless nature that was possessed by mum’s generation.
They could have simply sent their own children to better schools, move to even greater neighborhoods than they settled for and saved up a lot for their retirement. They experienced something good, and wanted it not only for themselves but also for others, so they sacrificed. We could learn from them how much to sacrifice and balance this, but also we need to learn how sacrificing has improved so many things, as so many people got exposed to vast opportunities, especially education.
The giving did not end there, as they still had the responsibility of taking care of their own children.
To be continued…