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If I were president. 🇺🇸 ✌🏼

Roberto pokachinni

gardener

Posts: 3491

Location: Fraser River Headwaters, Zone3, Lat: 53N, Altitude 2750', Boreal/Temperate Rainforest-transition

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posted 4 years ago

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I hereby decree that chicken yodeling be the national anthem and that it be mandatory before work or school daily. All dissenters will be spanked by the kindergarteners in the town square, and if they don't start yodeling then they shall be flogged with rainbow-colored spaghetti.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."-Margaret Mead "The only thing worse than being blind, is having sight but no vision."-Helen Keller

Pearl Sutton

steward & bricolagier

Posts: 15563

Location: SW Missouri

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posted 4 years ago

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Beware dissenters! The kids are ready!

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

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Staff note (Pearl Sutton) :

Wait! I'm the loyal opposition here!

hmm... I might like being rainbow spaghetti flogged...

Staff note (Roberto pokachinni) :

I didn't actually know that colored spaghetti existed!

And... ...We'll keep your potential fetishes out of this!

J. Graham

gardener

Posts: 3132

2096

posted 4 years ago

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thomas rubino wrote:Oh Brian;
Paul Wheaton has grandfathered in overalls!

When I first saw Paul on the internet, the fact that he always wears overalls was a major factor in knowing he was an OK guy. My grandfather was the same way. Overalls with a snot-rag in the left breast pocket, and a pocket watch in the right leg pocket, and long johns year round. One of the best friends I know right now always wears them. Maybe one day I can reach the level of proficiency of these guys and join the elite ranks of overall wearers, but I'm not there yet...

“It’s said war—war never changes. Men do, through the roads they walk. And this road—has reached its end.”

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J. Graham

gardener

Posts: 3132

2096

posted 4 years ago

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Pearl Sutton wrote:

Jordan Holland wrote:
Overalls are not pants, so they're ok. I think there should even be tax breaks for people who wear them. How many hoity-toity high-fallutin' people have you ever seen wear them? Just salt of the earth type people in my experience.

Deal Alert: Grass Stained Overalls only $1,500
Well... or seriously trendy folks...
If more people wore overalls, we'd probably be able to make money by breaking them in for rich people!

I forgot about that post! I guess some will always slip through the cracks...

“It’s said war—war never changes. Men do, through the roads they walk. And this road—has reached its end.”

Eric Hammond

Posts: 400

Location: SW Missouri

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posted 4 years ago

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Can we get rid of pants in their entirety? None of us want to be wearing pants anyway!

J. Graham

gardener

Posts: 3132

2096

posted 4 years ago

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That would be a hard sell... I can see the dissenters revolting already. Probably lead by Pearl. I see them making their last stand by forming their own country called "Pantsylvania" 😂

“It’s said war—war never changes. Men do, through the roads they walk. And this road—has reached its end.”

Pearl Sutton

steward & bricolagier

Posts: 15563

Location: SW Missouri

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posted 4 years ago

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The loyal opposition is totally opposed to pants. Need signs everywhere "wearing shirt, shoes or pants, no service!"

Brian Holmes

pollinator

Posts: 117

Location: 6.b.

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posted 4 years ago

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My kilt, socks, vest, sandals and I will gladly take a table for two.

Year 4 of gardening. Orchard is happy, grass needs a goat. And the garden is about to get swallowed by surrounding trees.

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J. Graham

gardener

Posts: 3132

2096

posted 4 years ago

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"The lassies love me, every one,
But they'll have to catch me if they can,
For you cannot put the breaks on a highland man
Saying, "Donald, where's your troosers?"

https://youtu.be/4yw0bLHTOb0
I guess this would have to be the national anthem.

What about skorts, pantaloons, bloomers? Shall we do away with bifurcation in general?

“It’s said war—war never changes. Men do, through the roads they walk. And this road—has reached its end.”

Kevin Carson

Posts: 59

Location: NW Arkansas

posted 4 years ago

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Scott Stiller wrote:What kind of ground breaking things would you do if elected?

Anyone owning a $60,000 pickup which, after subtracting space taken up by the extended cab, double wheelwells and giant toolbox, has less actual cargo room than a Pinto hatchback, has to have "Cul de Sac Cowboy" tattooed on their forehead.

Mike Barkley

gardener & hugelmaster

Posts: 3812

Location: Texas

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posted 4 years ago

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Executive order #1 would be that all BBQ restaurants are required to have beef. Briskets & ribs & lots of them. Executive order #2 would ban paper tamale wrappers.

Then I would fly around in Air Force One the remainder of my term because that would be fun.

Argue for your limitations and they are yours forever.

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Tereza Okava

steward & manure connoisseur

Posts: 4581

Location: South of Capricorn

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posted 4 years ago

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Jordan Holland wrote:
What about skorts, pantaloons, bloomers? Shall we do away with bifurcation in general?

Perish the thought!
You`ll find me in the new territory of Pantsylvania indeed, along with flocks of our new national bird, trained specifically to attack anyone who tries to make me wear a skirt.
Hope y`all are wearing something under those kilts, their little beakies are sharp.

John F Dean

master steward

Posts: 7715

Location: southern Illinois, USA

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posted 4 years ago

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All restaurants advertising themselves as Italian restaurants would have to serve real Italian food.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

John Weiland

pollinator

Posts: 2727

Location: RRV of da Nort, USA

818

posted 4 years ago

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John F Dean wrote:All restaurants advertising themselves as Italian restaurants would have to serve real Italian food.

I once saw a local 'Italian' restaurant billboard advertising to come in an "Eat like the Roman's did....." ......as the ad sported a plate full of spaghetti and meatballs covered in tomato sauce.

Funny how tomatoes had somehow made it to Rome before the 'discovery' of the new world and the introduction of tomatoes to Europe... :-)

“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”― Albert Einstein

Bonnie Kuhlman

pollinator

Posts: 183

Location: Zone 7a, AZ

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posted 4 years ago

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This post took a left turn at the round-about and ended up in ....socks? and pants? Oh my, people. Bless your hearts, but you did try. Now, I don't want to run for president. Way too much responsibility and people always complaining. But I'll be an advisor (I'll tell the president what to do, then leave it to him/her).

I like the original theme - music. I promise to deliver, to the president, now matter who is elected, an organized music plan. So,

- Mondays will be favorite oldies. Maybe start with some Wagner and progress (regress?) to Bach.
- Tuesdays will be classic rock - Mozart, Barber
- Wednesdays are pop - Tchaikovsky
- Thursday we'll progress to hard rock - Beethoven
- Friday we'll wind down with Vivaldi
- Saturday and Sunday will be Chopin, Pachelbel, Brahms, and Schubert

The president reserves the right to make changes on Saturday. You may submit requests as long as you stay within the boundaries and stand on your head while making such requests.

Your advisor,
Bonnie

Bonnie Haralson

Posts: 13

posted 4 years ago

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I've been discovering the joys of Black Soldier Fly Larvae! If I were President, every household would be required to not only have a bin of these little chompers, but would also be required to work out larvae-style 5 days per week. Hmmm...work out fly-style, if you prefer (mate & lay eggs (or egg substitute)).

Morning came much too soon and it brought along a friend named Margarita Hangover, and a tiny ad.

montana community seeking 20 people who are gardeners or want to be gardeners

https://permies.com/t/359868/montana-community-seeking-people-gardeners