posted 1 year ago
I have had a tap connected to the drip system tank, I haven't seen it, the man who worked on the tank rescheduled our meeting time, and I had to be somewhere, so I am going to trust things were done properly, he knows better anyways. I will go to see the work but not today.
Today I am so nervous, it's the day I am supposed to receive money for helping the pigs business guy. I will give a little background of why it's nerve wrecking. The work I am being paid for is I am helping some guy to financially assist small businesses, that are already at breakeven point, but that are struggling to get past the stage because of how tough the economy is. I have spent the past month understanding the pig business and the owner fueled his car to drive me to his farm which is out of town, many km out of town. This I have no problem with because I was open about how he might or might not get assistance. When I gave the guy I am working for feedback, he said he was going to lend the project some money and I communicated this. It's been weeks and for some time all I knew was the money will come but there was no date to it and now I felt bad because unlike before, now I had given the pig business owner hope that for certain they were getting help. I kept them on hold and end of last week I was told that I should tell the business owner they will get money no later than Monday, which is today. If it doesn't come I have to go back to the business owner and crush the hope which I had given him. This will be the second time I am building hope and I get to crush it. The other time is the gigatonne team where people worked so hard on a carbon emissions project and they never got to hear back from the facilitators and I had to probe to only be told the program is on hold and we will be told when they start again and up to now I haven't heard from them.
For the guy I work for it could partly be my fault because when I get excited about ideas, I go overboard with my communication and in almost all cases I chase people away. I was telling him about how through this financial support we could actually help the small businesses develop in so many areas, because we are in a position where they will actually listen to what we have to say....e.t.c. And I think I scared him away. Imagine if the business doesn't get help because I have no skills in communicating...
I am supposed to meet with Mai Kumbi, to talk about how her experience with me at the plot has been and I am panicking. I am writing things down and I plan to read my thoughts to her as opposed to just saying, so that I do not go off track. It's just that there is so much potential with everything. With Mai Kumbi for instance, if it's true that she has a small place at her rural home, that she is going to grow her maize like I do, in a non-conventional way, if she sends me pictures for me to record, and I find more and more local people showing evidence of how it is actually possible, and feasible for anyone willing to put the effort, we can catch the attention of so many people who want to try it out, without too much effort being put in convincing them. Thus starting our fight for reversing climate change, but without putting titles and big words to what we will be doing. It's just that getting her to send me images for her to tell the story of her journey is proving to be very very difficult.