Christmas/Winter Traditions and Their Meaning to You

I started this thread as a way to share--not so much debate--our holiday traditions and their meanings for us.

Winter has always been my favorite season. I love beauty of the snow and how it often puts "life" on hold. When we're snowbound, or have a power outage, we can't do a lot of things (go to work, run errands, check facebook, whatever). It's out of my hands, and so I just get to enjoy the simple things: candle light, time with family, winter wonderland walks, sledding, etc. over the years, my little family has already made a few of it's own traditions. When the power is out, my husband puts my son on his back and goes "dun-de-dun-de" around the house, in and out of the rooms, singing bonanza. Every time they enter a new dark room, they yell "DARK!" It's a little tradition, and a silly one, but it's ours. Every time it snows, too, we go for a "Winter Wonderland Walk" around our neighborhood, singing "Walking in a winter wonderland."

And, then there's traditions that have been carried on generation after generation. When I was little, my mom's side of the family (around 20 or more of us) would gather at my Grammie's house. Before opening presents, we would pass out songbooks of carols. There were never enough, so we usually had to share. Everyone was able to pick which song they wanted us all to sing. I always picked 12 Days of Christmas! It was so magical and special to hear my whole family singing together, rejoicing together in Jesus' birth. It's been a few years since my Grammie passed--we thankfully almost all were there the last Christmas before she passed, and were able to sing carols with her. Since she's passed, my mom's family doesn't gather together for Christmas. My mom is now "Grammie" and me and my brother with our kids (he has two and I have two) join together at her house. This year we're making our own song books full of carols, so we can continue the tradition of singing together as a family.

What are your favorite and cherished traditions? Why are they so meaningful to you?

(I purposefully put this topic in the Cider Press so people can mention if they want to their faiths/religions/lack-thereof and how that makes this season special. But, please, let's have this discussion about sharing our traditions, not about telling each other that those traditions or their meanings are wrong. Thank you so much!)

Thanks Nicole.

The Polish Catholic tradition has us celebrating what we call Wigilia on Christmas Eve. Family gathers for a meatless dinner (although meatless, according to Polish Catholic tradition includes fish and seafood). It started out as a fast, but changed over time. There is no fasting now, only piscavorian feasting.

We do the tree and present thing after dinner, but that is mostly for the kids. We used to go do the Midnight Mass thing at our church, but we don't really practice anymore. I personally believe that it is less important to be in attendance somewhere than to live as one's personal beliefs dictate.

On Christmas Day this year, my girlfriend and I are driving 8 hours north from Toronto to Cochrane, Ontario, to spend a belated Christmas with her family. Her 5-year-old niece actually asked if they could call Santa and postpone Christmas Eve so that her aunt could be there.

Their traditions, as I have had it explained, involve a Christmas Eve mass, new pyjamas upon their return, and hot chocolate, and one present, usually for the kids. The next day is spent at home, in PJs with family, slowly opening presents and enjoying eachother's company.

-CK

I like the excuse for the feast with friends and a Doctor Who special.

When I was a kid, there was a lot of pressure from the family to have the most picture perfect Chrismas, with the tree and the youngest kid (me) passing the presents to the patriarch, who then read the label and then the kid had to take the present to the recipient, and we all had to ooh and awe and listen to snide comments from the ants Aunts (stupid autocorrect) if the present wasn't expensive enough, then repeat for four or more hours.

There was so much pressure to have a perfect Christmas, that of course, it triggered conflict and ruined Christmas.

When I was an adult, I did everything I could to work Christmas Day so I could avoid the family gathering.  One job I had was at a Youth Hostel in a town where there were no shops or restaurants open on Chrismas.  Of course, the tourists didn't realize this and they had nothing to eat.  So the hostel cooked a HUGE supper and relaxed the no-alcohol rules for the one day (put it in a mug and don't let us see the bottle and so long as you don't cause a fuss from excessive drinking, we won't bother you).  It was a magical experience with people from all over the world, with all different religious backgrounds, enjoying a feast together.  

It was then I realized that what meant the most to me wasn't the holiday, it was the sharing of the food and friendship.

Later, I had a lot of friends that had recently immigrated Canada.  They were alone in a strange land, with no family and few friends to spend the Holidays with, I started inviting them to ours for a Mid-Winter Feast.  Now the tradition continues, only they are all married, 2 kids a piece, it's a crazy, family-filled holiday with none of the pressure of a 'perfect Christmas'.  

No kids of my own, but we have a small stash of toys for the kids.  We make a gingerbread house for each of the kids and they decorate it with candies the parents bring.  Then a feast.  A mass furry opening presents (for the kids only - the feast is the present for the adults) and then dessert.  I usually have a loom or other craft set up for the kids and adults to play with while the meal is being prepared.  It's all very informal and fun.

When they are gone, I used to put on the doctor who special that I recorded during the feast.  Only now, I have no cable TV or another streaming way of watching Doctor Who  (the local space channel used to have it to watch free online because I get my internet from the cable company - but alas, no longer).  A waste of money to buy the DVD, so now I wait 6+ months until the library has it.  Christmas in July.  

I love this thread.

Like R mentioned above, I like the excuse to feast, and help prepare foods that we don't normally have in our household the rest of the year. I don't really have christmas traditions or come from a family that had those growing up. The one thing I still look forward to, even at 40, are the classic animated shows they air on tv for the holidays, like Charlie Brown Christmas, and Rudolph (with the Bumble & Yukon Cornelius being my favorite characters).

When the children were young, we lived in a big 3 storey house in the UK, but as a single parent of 4, we were poor as church mice.  Being French, Christmas was celebrated on Christmas Eve but we'd start a few days before that by getting the biggest Christmas tree that we could afford.  We then spent many hours making Christmas decorations: pine cones glued and glittered, baked dough stars and balls painted and ribboned, match boxes wrapped in colourful paper tied with pretty sting, paper chains, all to hang in the tree.

On Christmas Eve's day, the kitchen was a buzz of activity from early on.  Cooking was taking place in a grand scale with all hands on deck and a lot of fun.  I can still remember the feel of excitement in the air mingled with the beautiful smells and the laughter.  By 8.00pm, we would all sit around a large decorated table and enjoy the most traditional of Christmas dinner with all the trimmings - Christmas crackers and party poppers were in abundance.  But as enjoyable as all that, we were all looking forward to the next part of the evening.  After clearing the table, we turned all the lights off in the house except for the Christmas tree lights and started a  game of hide and seek throughout the big darkened house.  You can't imagine the fun we had as over the years the hiding places got more and more elaborate!  This we did until around 11.30 when the little ones were sent to bed as:"Santa won't come if you are still up!!"  Just past midnight, armed with lit candles, we would ever so gently wake them up, to tell them that Santa had been and left some presents.  So we all trooped back downstairs, and opened what was only token presents: a few colouring pencils, a knitted scarf or something from the thrift shop, but it never mattered really because we'd already had so much fun!  We then proceeded to have a midnight feast sitting on the floor by the open fire and then slowly, one by one, we would all fall asleep, all the kid piled up like a bunch of puppies amongst sheepskins and blankets on the floor.  The next day, Christmas Day was just spent lazying about and eating whatever was left over, having visitors and making endless cups of tea.

To this day, even though my eldest son is nearly 50,  he and his siblings talk about it with such fond memories.

Hi. Sorry I don't want to offend anyone, nor be a 'party-pooper', I only want to give my view on this subject. Because you asked.

I feel a resistance against traditions. 'Why do they do this like they do it?' and then there's no real answer. Only 'because it's tradition' doesn't sound like a good reason to me.

If people say they want to celebrate in the end of December because then the days start being longer, after the winter solstice, that sounds like they really have their reason. That this is no reason for me to celebrate doesn't make it less reasonable. If people say they believe they have to chase away evil spirits with fireworks ... okay, I don't believe it, but at least it's their reason.

But if people say they celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ in December, I want to tell them: Jesus wasn't born in winter, and he himself did never celebrate his birthday (that's why we don't know the exact date). And if they say: we want to celebrate the birth of Jesus with a tree in our living-room and candles and so ... I do not see the connection between Jesus and those things. These are no good reasons to me.

So I can tell you I do not have special traditions or celebrations for winter. I am only doing my best to stay warm and healthy.

I agree that a lot of Christian celebrations have little to do with the actual celebration of Jesus' birth. Sure, we can try to attribute some meaning to them--the evergreen branches remind us of Jesus' everlasting love for us, the lights remind us of how we're to be lights and share His love, presents to remind us of the wise men or how Jesus is the best gift of all, etc. A lot of these are a bit of a stretch.

Personally, I think a lot of the "magic" of Christmas is comfort and oxytocin the traditions bring. They remind us of happy times in our childhood. When I gaze upon my Christmas tree, I feel like a child again, safe and taken care of. The world seems simpler and kinder and full of imagination. I lot of happy memories of playing with my ornaments through the branches of the Christmas tree, with all the lights but the trees turned off. I would imagine stories and it was like a little fantasy world. I set up a Christmas tree so my children could also have that fun and make the same sort of memories I had.

I think, in a lot of ways, we pass on traditions to our children because we want them to have the same fun we did, or even more fun. Sometimes this can go overboard, where the parent spends so much time buying and wrapping and finding pinterest activities to make their kids' Christmas "magical." The parent ends up unable to enjoy the holiday because they are so stressed from trying to make it "perfect."

Traditions, especially for those under the age of 10, are also a great way for them to learn the passing of time. Little ones don't usually what comes next--they don't know the seasons yet or how long they last. The first "dates" that I see preschoolers remember are their birthday and Christmas. They're constantly asking how long until one event or another. Seasonal traditions are a great way to help kids tell time and plan for the future. In Waldorf schools, there's a large focus on celebrating the seasons--May polls, fall celebrations, Christmas, etc. Most preschoolers here in the US, especially in more urban areas, can't tell the passing of the seasons--they aren't outside that much, they aren't planting, and often spring and fall (where I live) look mostly the same. Traditions help them tell what time of the year it is, and they can then build upon that foundation.

Traditions are also comforting routines, for me, and a way to relive happy moments in the past. When we sing carols together, it brings back all the happy memories of previous times caroling. The happiness is then multiplied---as long as I don't get caught up in having that moment "perfect." Seeking perfection in our traditions is an easy way to turn them into depressing times, rather than than the time portal to happier times that they could be.

Traditions can act as ways to access happy memories, teach seasons and the passing of time, as well as fun ways to teach meaning or truth. In my family, we seem to do all three. They don't always overlap, and I think that's okay. It's okay that my Christmas tree is just a portal to fun times and a way to make memories. It also helps note the passing of time. But, in my family, it's not a tool to teach spiritual truth. To do that, we sing carols, have candle light services and, in my family, we do a birthday cake for Jesus. For the birthday cake, my grandma would make a cake in the shape of a big doughnut (bunt cake?) and put a candle in the middle. The candle said, "Wise men still seek him." One person would read from Mathew about the birth of Jesus, and then we'd light the candle in the middle. We'd talk about how when Jesus was born, light came into the world. We each then got a "trick candle" (the little birthday candles that never blow out). One person would take their candle and light it from the "Jesus" candle, symbolizing that person having a faith in Jesus and shining His light. They'd then share their light with others. Soon the room would be bright with the love/light from Jesus. We'd then blow out our candle and talk about how sometimes we make sad choices and wander from Jesus, but His light is still there and will reignite. Of course, sometimes the trick candles really did blow out, and we'd then talk about how sometimes we'd need help from others to reignite our faith (someone else would share their light with to relight the candle), or we'd go "back to the source" of our faith--the Jesus candle--and relight our candle ourselves.

This was, not only a really fun and "magical" experience as a kid (we got to play with candles in the dark!), but it also taught spiritual truths.  

I think traditions can be neat tools, but it's good to assess just why we do them, and also not to stress about them being "perfect." I also think it's great if people don't use traditions. Everyone is different. I really appreciate and find comfort in routine and traditions, but not everyone does. Everyone is different, enjoys different things, and learns in different ways, and I think that's fantastic!

Nicole Alderman wrote:.... They remind us of happy times in our childhood. ...

I think, in a lot of ways, we pass on traditions to our children because we want them to have the same fun we did, or even more fun. Sometimes this can go overboard, where the parent spends so much time buying and wrapping and finding pinterest activities to make their kids' Christmas "magical." The parent ends up unable to enjoy the holiday because they are so stressed from trying to make it "perfect."

Traditions, especially for those under the age of 10, are also a great way for them to learn the passing of time. Little ones don't usually what comes next--they don't know the seasons yet or how long they last. The first "dates" that I see preschoolers remember are their birthday and Christmas. They're constantly asking how long until one event or another. ...

I also think it's great if people don't use traditions. Everyone is different. I really appreciate and find comfort in routine and traditions, but not everyone does. Everyone is different, enjoys different things, and learns in different ways, and I think that's fantastic!

Yes Nicole, that's definitely true: people are different.
My childhood memories are mostly of spring and summer, still my favourite seasons. The 'counting of days' (or nights) waiting for a special date to come I did not like at all as a child. And still my opinion is: if you want to give someone a gift, do it, now ... do not wait until it's a 'special date'.

I do have some childhood memories of the christmas time. There were real candles and there was a 'nativity scene' made by my father, and other items returning each year. Not at all like many people now do: they buy new decorations every year, and expensive toys and other gifts, the even get in debt for it ... But for me the main reason for not celebrating it anymore is the fact that it isn't in line with the teachings in the Bible.

We had a little paper nativity that my mom had bought and assembled. I LOVED playing with it and reenacting Jesus's birth. I'd usually put the wise men across the house and slowly move them toward Jesus--they didn't see Jesus until 2 years later and while Jesus was back at his home, not in in Bethlehem! My mom passed the nativity along to me, but it's currently up because I'm pretty sure my little ones wouldn't know how to be gentle. I bought a fisher price set off ebay which is durable and I use all year round for acting out Bible stories. I can't imagine bying new decoration every year! The closest we get to that is some new glass ball ornaments to decorate as a craft, and the kids (like I did as a child) get to pick out a new ornament each year to play with on the tree. I still have all my old ornaments and my kids now play with them.

One interesting benefit to me having a birthday in January was that I only really got presents during a span of 20 days. We always got the clothes, etc, we needed through the year, but almost any toys came at birthday/Christmas. So, I would have to wait all year for things, which ended up teaching me patience and also to think about what I really wanted, rather just getting from my parents whatever I wanted when I wanted it. I think this lack of instant gratification was really helpful for me.

Now that I'm older, and my parents and grandparents are aging, I'm more inclined to give them the things I find for them when I find them, rather than waiting for Christmas/their birthday. For my kids, though, their presents mostly wait until birthdays/Christmas, because, well, they already have a lot of toys. I still make them fun things through the year, and buy them educational toys when they need them. But, by in large, I think it's good to limit the amount of gifts to kids--less is often more, and I don't want to raise them to be little consumers addicted to always getting "more." It's really hard knowing if I'm giving them too much, too little, teaching them the wrong perspectives about "things." It's hard being a parent!

As a kid, we always had a decorated tree and a Nativity Scene.  I fondly remember the red felt stocking filled apples, oranges and nuts.  We also had red and green Ribbon Candy and Mom made Divinity and Fruit Cake.  The meal was always a Stuffed Turkey.   I only remember a few gifts so I probably got clothes most of the time.

Some childhood traditions of ours that we are trying to instill in our new family(1st baby, new house):

- You can open your stockings as soon as you get up, but presents are after breakfast;
- Breakfast is home baked(Biscuits and gravy, cinnamon rolls, etc.)
- Reading the story of the birth of our Savior together, and sharing how thankful we are for His love for us.
- for the extended Family gathering later in the day: Secret Santa and White Elephant exchanges, instead of gift free-for-all, to help everyone's small budgets go further(even more fun, even though we get "less" amount of gifts).
- Homemade pickled, fermented, grown, or baked gifts for friends.

Christmas for us is very different because we are a blended family...Katie has two kids from a previous marriage, I have one from a previous marriage, and then we had one together...hers, mine and ours! So getting everyone together, then to their perspective parents, means Christmas is always early. For us this year, Christmas was on December 23rd.

My actual Christmas Day was with Katie at her parents in New Hampshire, and me babysitting the pellet stove. Christmas diner...no joke...was Happy China Buffet because the @#$%^& truck stop was even closed! I am not complaining, it was what it was, and our Christmas on the 23rd was a great day.

Inge Leonora-den Ouden wrote:But for me the main reason for not celebrating it anymore is the fact that it isn't in line with the teachings in the Bible.

No, you are right, not directly, but I am the polar opposite regarding your feelings on this despite that.

For instance, you are indeed correct that no one knows the exact date of Jesus birth, and it most likely was not the 25th of December. However in that part of the world, at that time, "shepherds keeping watch over their flocks by night near Bethlehem", meant it was in the winter. And the date of the 25th was hardly arbitrary. At one time the pagans had a huge custom of partying on winter solstice, so the Christian's set a day close, but not on winter solstice. In so many ways, Christian's actually stole the Winter Solstice celebrations from the pagans. Yes the Christmas trees, candles and a host of other stuff derived from that time period, but does it really matter? I know as a Christian I am glad that few people think about those items as pagan anymore, but rather in celebration of Jesus birth!

As for the 25th day of December, again it is not depicted in the bible exactly, but that is not what it is about. Nowhere in the bible does it show where God holds things against people that they cannot control. For instance I could not control that I was born to poor farmers in rural Maine, or that I come from English/Indian lineage, or that I am of limited intellect...God does not hold any of that against me, all he does expect, is for me to take what he has given me, and make the most for his kingdom. And so it is with December 25th, God will never be upset that we celebrate Jesus' birth of the 25th and it probably was not then, it is the fact that we pause in our busy lives, one day a year with what limited information we do have, and be incredibly thankful for the gift he has bestowed upon us.

December 25th is, and has never been about exactness...the Pharisee's were into that, Jesus and his celebrated birthday is about the heart.

Consider this; if your birthday falls mid-week, and family does not celebrate it until that Saturday when everyone can join the celebration, does it make the celebration any worse off because it is off by a few days? Far from it!

Wonderfully, we can use December 25th to expand the Kingdom too. So many people only go to Church on Christmas and Easter and yet most pastors know this and give the gospel message on those days. That is not a bad thing. That is not a bad thing at all, and God is smiling down upon a busy, crazy world that pauses and celebrates...HIM!

I am not trying to argue with you here, just trying to show a different perspective on the day.

Nicole Alderman wrote:
I think, in a lot of ways, we pass on traditions to our children because we want them to have the same fun we did, or even more fun. Sometimes this can go overboard, where the parent spends so much time buying and wrapping and finding pinterest activities to make their kids' Christmas "magical." The parent ends up unable to enjoy the holiday because they are so stressed from trying to make it "perfect."

There's a word for it. In the constructed language Láadan, we find
radíidin – non-holiday, a time allegedly a holiday but actually so much a burden because of work and preparations that it is a dreaded occasion; especially when there are too many guests and none of them help.

For years I have observed Solstice as my unofficial New Year. I set my New Year's resolutions at Solstice, and usually, I find a secluded outdoor spot to conduct a blessing. I say secluded because I practice ritual nudity -- yes, even when I have been up north in a cold climate. A few minutes will not harm me, even of freezing temperatures. It is never the same ceremony twice, but it often involves a candle or a joss stick, a symbolic offering, and a nature-based hymn or prayer. (Do you know how hard it is to find a nature-based hymn? "This is My Father's World" is the only one that comes easily to mind.) I use the Franciscan term, Brother Sun, to refer to the turning of the season.

We are a blended household of Christian and agnostic. We LOVE the Christmas season and celebrate both secular and religious. It matters not to us whether people share our joy in these holidays, nor our reasons for extending it far beyond what many consider normal. I have friends who say it should be narrow so that it's special...otherwise it doesn't have the same feeling. They usually say this in regards to foods and music. However, for 10-11 months of the year they listen to the same thing all the time. We LOVE chocolate. But we eat it all year. The only way to make chocolate better is to add MORE chocolate! It doesn't make it less special for us. Anyway, we have great fondness for the holidays and all the trappings. We buy gifts well in advance so that when the folks who wait until the last minute crush the stores and flood the streets, we are at leisure and enjoying what has come. I understand the points mentioned by some above about people getting worked up over it, But I think largely, they would be worked up over something anyway. Christmas comes the same time every year. It isn't hard to know when it comes so I don't understand all the fretting and rushing around.

Simple things come to mind when I look back. We didn't have any money but my folks treated us to a great upbringing. One early memory I have is that my folks would get fruits on sale, and make a giant fruit salad in one of the bottom refrigerator drawers. When you wanted some, you grabbed a bowl and dished it out. She would add to it like it was rumtopf when it got low. This was in the days before we knew about plastics however.

We also grew up foraging and assumed everyone did the same. It's only been the last 20 years or so when I realized if it doesn't come from a package, people don't know what it is. The berries and fruits picked during season were the jams, pies, and cobblers cooked for the holidays. The black walnut harvest sent me to school for a month or so looking like I had a horrible industrial accident at a tattoo ink factory every year. But those same walnuts cured and were part of holiday fare.

Does anyone else remember people always had bowls of nuts with crackers and picks either in the living room or dining room?

SNOW ICE CREAM!!!

After supper? Stuffed and barely breathing...it was wood splitting time! We worked the tautness off quickly!

I've always loved to decorate and Christmas is the ultimate time for that. My mom had to keep me in check lol! Every year I could hardly wait to start the process but she made me wait. After the tree(s) was up, we weren't allowed to turn the lights on til 10 days before Christmas because we were poor and our parents didn't want to make the electric bill go higher. I bought a large tree at a yard sale in my early teens. Every year I decorated it in early December, long before I was allowed to put up the one in the living room lol! I even went all out decorating the gifts. Sometimes I went to the homes of family friends and decorated for them as well.

The outside of the house wasn't neglected either, and one year my display literally stopped traffic lol! It was a main attraction in that town that year. My tomcat liked to destroy the lights and every year I forgot about that until I heard the familiar crunching. He only messed with them while I was actually putting them up, never after they were installed.

As children, on Christmas Eve after we were all supposed to be in bed, we would keep sneaking downstairs to see if the presents were under the tree yet.  We didn't stop until they showed up, and we would use our flashlights to examine them, dreaming of what they might contain. This happened multiple times during the night. Remember, we were poor. We didn't get spoiled rotten whenever we went to town, so Christmas was very exciting for us.

Looking back, what we received wasn't the "in" kind of toys. We really weren't into the latest fads. I can't remember even one Christmas that I was disappointed. Ever. I was always overjoyed with what I got, as were my siblings.

Our parents encouraged creativity and praised our accomplishments, making our childhood kind of magical. They allowed us to just be kids, as well as sparking our imaginations in multiple ways.  My siblings and I would gather in front of the only tv we had and watch the Christmas specials, like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer (my favorite) and Frosty the snowman, and Peanuts, etc. I used to wonder if I might meet Rudolph someday while hiking the woods behind our house. Magical.

Mom made the most awesome brownies, but she only made them twice a year: at Thanksgiving and Christmas. We all looked forward to them. I have that recipe and I think of her each time I make them. I miss her soooooo much. Christmas will never have the same joy for me now that she's gone. As a family, we didn't even get together the first Christmas after she passed away. Even though I still like to decorate, Christmas is a sad time for me without her. I try to make the best of it, but I always have a good cry while decorating the tree. The truly awesome thing though, is that she accepted Jesus as her personal Savior, so right now I know she's walking  on streets of gold in paradise with our Lord. I'll see her again someday, as Jesus is also my Savior.

For those same two holidays, mom let me set the table in the dining room instead of having the meal in the kitchen. That was a huge deal in my mind. It was...fancy...and I loved it. I inherited that table and chairs and it makes me remember all those good times. We played games as a family, made "tents" with blankets draped over it and did homework at that table too. I'm the fourth generation to have it.

Most years, it was tradition that we would set aside a day to celebrate Christmas with mom's family and a day with dad's family. Neither of my parents was the "golden child" in their families, so us kids were treated like second best, so these weren't my fondest memories, but I still usually had at least some fun.

Oh my, I've written a book lol! I'll stop here.