spoon theory

Here's a picture showing what takes away spoons, and what gives spoons (for some of us).

Yaasss.

I've heard of spoon theory before, and forgotten about it. This is very timely for me as I've been kicking myself for not getting enough done when I should have realized that it's not inherent laziness but spoon inventory issues.

Went through something similar last year and I called it burnout, but spoon deficit strikes me as far more tangible. I've got a disabled husband and special needs kids, as well as my own issues (we were all healthy initially). Moderate-to-severe stress and exhaustion are such familiar parts of my routine that it's hard to imagine life without them. My life sucks spoons at this point, and I needed a reminder about replenishing the supply.

Never quantified it before but I'd say depending on the day I've got 10-20 spoons, and on bad days the basics take up all the spoons. My reserve is non-existent. I'm sure I have some emergency spoons somewhere, but I can't access them. I managed to coast through the summer but now I'm getting annoyed with myself over this spoon shortage. I really do want to finish that book, but my mind goes blank every time I go to write more. I want to paint the kitchen, but just the thought of all the hours of scrubbing, sanding, and priming makes me tired. So I've got to get myself some more spoons, and I'm going to start by making a list of known spoon generators.

Thank you, permies. Reading this thread has helped a lot. :)

While I really like the spoon theory, my personal preference is to use two gaming signifiers: mana and hit points. Mana I use for mental/emotional energy, while hit points is physical energy and ability.

Some days I have plenty of mana, but my hit points are low, so I dedicate myself to things that don't take much physical effort. Other days my hit points are high but my mana is low, so I do physical work that doesn't require me to think too much.

I'f I'm lucky, both are high. On bad days, both mana and hit points are wayyyy low.

Going back to the original lupus-explaining spoon theory, I propose an extension of the metaphor:

Where positive things that build you up and give you joy cannot increase the number of spoons I reckon they help to maintain your Cutlery Drawer.  By this I mean that while there may be no spoons gained from positive stuff, you are less likely to experience spoons mysteriously slipping away without you consciously spending them.  Showering will still take spoons, prepping dinner will take spoons, but by having some cutlery drawer maintenance in our day we are less likely to be wondering where the other spoons went four hours before bedtime.

- so glad threads are perennial here.

I like the mana and hit points concept.

Being from Alaska, I was aware of seasonal depressive disorder long before I realized how much it was effecting me.   I never noticed myself getting down, what I noticed was the big, dumb grin on my face around March.  Recently I realized that even though I am now in southern indiana, it still effects me.
Since I want to stay around family, it is unlikely that I will ever move close enough to the tropics to remove this challenge.  I need to find solutions.  My current big discovery was walking a couple of miles in the middle of the day when weather allows (lunch, breaks at work).  It didn't help overnight, but after a week or two I again feel like God's his heaven, the lark's on the wing, and my enthusiasm for life is coming back strong.
My wife has some pretty bad energy and muscle cramp and pain issues.  Because if that she has resisted walking or spending much time outside (in fairness, summers here are way to hot and humid for comfort, winters are cold and when it's  warm enough, rainy.  Now, though we are in spring.   We're trying to get a house ready to sell, so she dragged her butt outside and started working in the yard.  After a couple of weeks, her aches and pains are dramatically reduced and her energy is probably increased 5 fold.
When we feel bad we want to lay around and watch the idiot box (tv) or get on the other idiot box (the internet or games) when sometimes what we need to do is something shaved monkeys are designed for, get out in the bright sunshine, some nature, and move!  It is a pretty good spoon producer, although not always showing immediate results.

My thistles are finally reduced to fairly easy control with a shovel. = + ~∞/2 spoons!

I worked about half a pasture today, the pasture being about ¾ acre. From seemingly impossible to about about 35 minutes work. Spoon! (Unwarranted Tick reference: +1 spoon)

Pasture or swamp?  :D
Good use of messy weather!
I have been pulling stuff too. Need to use the mud to execute a bunch of Bermuda grass.
Nice work, good planning, my compliments!

They grew in the pasture. My wife says that she's seen cut off ones go ahead and mature the blooms and go to seed. So I threw 'em in the pond, just in case. I don't think they'll mature in there, but I'd be very surprised if the seeds grow in there.

Thanks for updating this thread so I could find it! I've used the spoon theory for years now for my introvertness, my executive dysfunction, and for my hypotension (low blood pressure). When I feel low on spoons I try to remember that I need to hydrate and eat (usually something salty) for hypotension, be by myself for the introvertedness, or go and do something for the dysfunction. Today, seeing this, I reminded myself that even though it's hot (something that really makes me lethargic and feeds my executive dysfunction), I need to clean since that will give me spoons from feeling accomplished at overcoming the executive dysfunction.  And it worked! Now I just need to vacuum, get groceries, and go pick up the dehydrator I found on Facebook Marketplace. That will take spoons, but also hopefully put some in the drawer for tomorrow. (I find that spoons gained from accomplishing tasks tend to be future spoons - they don't come immediately but the next day I can look back and grab the spoons from the past)

This thread needs to be bumped. It is full of brilliant thoughts.

A month ago I ran out of my spoon reserve. At that time I didn't know about the existance of spoons. One day, while deep diving here in Permies, moving from thread to a similar thread one after another - like a mindless zombie - I somehow ran into this post.

I have a different type of health thing going on right now, but I am finding that an understanding of spoon theory helps me navigate this.

I’m aware of how I unintentionally and and unavoidably deplete other people’s spoons. Getting in their way, putting things in their way, screwing up etc. They do this as well and it is unavoidable in a systemic way. Working in a kitchen as fast you can…Looking at the positive accomplishments gives spoons and makes it worthwhile.
After rest, we can tackle life again!
Thanks for spoon theory.

I can't believe there's a thread on spoon theory on here! Amazing how these thing pop up when they're really relevant. I, myself, learned about spoon theory about 4 years ago after being hit with Lyme/Chronic Fatigue diagnoses. Since I'm not terribly organized when I'm low on spoons, I'm not very adept at accumulating more. Unfortunately, I run myself dry quite often and have to pay the consequences.

It never occurred to me to apply spoons to my introvert-ness! The funny thing about low spoonage is that thinking hard (about anything) burns spoons just a quickly as working in the garden or going for a hike, so thinking that I'm going to be able to get a lot done (like blog writing or working on my website) and conserve spoons at the same time never actually works out. I'm actually MORE fried after doing that.

Ah, the joys of CFS...

Last year we sold out on the California living (where I was born and raised and never could have foreseen moving away from), packed up nearly everything we owned and moved across country to the hills of West Virginia to retire on my youngest child's 40 acres.

The stress of packing sucked spoons. I spread it out over almost 2 years because we had the time, and it helped reduce the spoon loss rate. Because we had so much time I was also better able to organize the packing, and wrap all fragiles to prevent losses.

The stress of allowing strangers into my home carved chunks of spoons each and every time, sometimes leaving partial and useless spoons. My only way to mitigate some of this was by staying on the property but out of the way. Which got criticized by an agent, as gently as he could, but in trying to explain myself as an introvert,  with a ton of social anxiety,  I fell to pieces in front of him, and I hope it made him feel a bit of an asshat. That alone left me with only a few spoons for the remainder of the day.

The actual loading of the moving truck  (uhaul), and driving 12-18 hours a day, living in the uhaul, mostly added spoons because it was a great adventure to be going on at age 60! Having to be the navigator through big cities freeway systems took spoons.

Now we have been here for over a year and a ½, and lots has happened.  There was never any running water to this place that someone else lived in since the 1970s, nor did he pay for trash service.  We know because it was all piled in the back. Spoon stealers getting all the kinks ironed out. In the middle of it, my husband had a chunk of his back surgically scooped out and left as an open wound to heal correctly sipping at spoons. And I had to get a job off the property to pay the bills. Spoons going both directions but not quite equally to offset each other.

When Christmas came last year I was (and still am) working food court at the largest mall for 100 miles. Wipe tables and seating,  sweep and mop, clean up spills... most hate food court duties. It's MY happy place. I approached the holidays last year with gratitude,  thanking folks for coming, and thanking them for their compliments (I wore big jingle bells on my shoes to be festive, and everyone loved it!) Cha-ching on the spoon inventory! My gratitude attitude improved my experience and boosted my spoon counts far into the positive, despite plenty of spoon losses for the overcrowded space and the folks living on a bad mood diet!

I think my Gratitude Attitude has made a huge difference in my spoon bank. Sometimes I forget the attitude and stuff creeps in to nibble at my spoons.

This is so similar to a lesson we had one day in elementary school in the late '60's. Instead of spoons, it was IALAC (I Am Lovable And Comfortable). Start each day with a piece of paper with that written on it. Negative things result in a piece of paper being torn off, commensurate with the degree of negativity. Positive things get pieces added back on. Other people couldn't add to yours from theirs, because that would make the system zero-sum, and we know that isn't the case.

Spoons: Know yourself; know your people, to have this work optimally!

Hmm. Maybe active spoons are Qi (breath/breath energy), reserve spoons are Jing (essence), and then there’s Shen (spirit/spirit energy) which I don’t know if it’s been touched on much here, I may read through again later.

Plants in the Ginseng family and similar herbs have long been valued as a source of Essence, supporting the whole body.

Apparently some breathing techniques are also used to increase Jing.

There is a Taoist text on longevity that I love, by Tianyin Zi. https://www.themathesontrust.org/papers/fareasternreligions/Kohn-Heavenly_Seclusion.pdf It’s quite short but encompasses much of what I have learned about maintaining good health and spoons. Eat when you’re hungry. Don’t eat to fullness. Stay close to what your body tells you to do, and don’t strain in any direction; and stay away from excess in emotions.

Su Ba wrote:Burra is right on! Burra is a genius with her spoon theory.

I don't doubt that Burra is a genius for many reasons, but credit for The Spoon Theory belongs to Christine Miserandino.

Here is the essay Miserandino wrote in 2003: https://lymphoma-action.org.uk/sites/default/files/media/documents/2020-05/Spoon%20theory%20by%20Christine%20Miserandino.pdf  Thank you Burra for sharing the idea.

Hi, Niki

Welcome to the forum!

I dont feel Burra was trying to take credit for spoons.
Though you are right:

Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has available for daily activities and tasks, and how it can become limited. The term was coined in a 2003 essay by American writer Christine Miserandino. In the essay, Miserandino describes her experience with chronic illness, using a handful of spoons as a metaphor for units of energy available to perform everyday actions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

Anne Miller wrote:Hi, Niki

Welcome to the forum!

I dont feel Burra was trying to take credit for spoons.
Though you are right:

Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has available for daily activities and tasks, and how it can become limited. The term was coined in a 2003 essay by American writer Christine Miserandino. In the essay, Miserandino describes her experience with chronic illness, using a handful of spoons as a metaphor for units of energy available to perform everyday actions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

I don't think Burra was trying to take credit either, I was posting that information in response to Su Ba.

So, back to the boob thing.
    I find it endearing (and childish) that a boob or nipple flash can bring such joy.  Now I know my husband has a reason for saying "show me!" before he leaves for work each day
    The original "boob theory" story about the 17 year old boy?   Sick people sometimes need a shot of anything-other-than-sickness! A nice hunk of the population, male or female, would get spoonage from a boob flash.  

     

 

   

I wish there was something that gave me spoons  the way boobs apparently do others.

The best I can come up with is my wardrobe, it makes me feel better to look how I want to. I'm headed out right now to get grubby working on the truck, and and I'm dressed cute, because I can, and there's SO MUCH I can't do anything about, that I do what I can. And today that means matching camo pants with an animal print shirt.

I was thinking this morning about how some people crave comfort food, I crave comfort clothes, not always physical comfort (although that's part of it) but psychological comfort. It helps me remember who I really am, underneath the chaos, pain and exhaustion.

Pearl Sutton wrote:

The best I can come up with is my wardrobe, it makes me feel better to look how I want to. I'm headed out right now to get grubby working on the truck, and and I'm dressed cute, because I can, and there's SO MUCH I can't do anything about, that I do what I can. And today that means matching camo pants with an animal print shirt.

I was thinking this morning about how some people crave comfort food, I crave comfort clothes, not always physical comfort (although that's part of it) but psychological comfort. It helps me remember who I really am, underneath the chaos, pain and exhaustion.

I think that natural fiber working is for me a spoon source and it probably comes from the same place. I would love to wear something straight from the land that I made or that someone I know made, something from the fibers of this very land. I am still working on doing so but taking a pause for seasonal considerations but in the meantime I can wear my clothes that I wear and don’t like in eccentric ways while out in the forest or gardening.

Sometimes also with sickness fun or enjoyable things can end up depleting spoons rather than simply replenishing, which is one thing to be aware of. Talking for long hours or hiking might be wonderfully pleasant but leave you half comatose the next day.

I hadn’t read the second page of this topic until today. It felt hilarious and completely inappropriate.

May I suggest hugs instead? I know someone who gives everyone hugs and it’s quite nice. Maybe that is a more appropriate way of maintaining the spoon drawer. Also there may be people who would take flashing the wrong way and be depleted or disturbed by it. And it is easy enough to ask, do you like hugs? The other may be more difficult.

I think that maybe being pleased or displeased sometimes frees or locks up spoons that are already present. Negative things close the spoon drawer (it sticks and is hard to open?) and positive things open it up again.