These darn values I was raised with...

46F basically looking for a friend.  Which is why this is not in the singles thread.  I am nowhere near ready for anything other than a good friend.  Over the past few years I have found myself at several crossroads.  I don't know anyone that is similar to me and it has become...lonely?  Not sure if that is the right word.  I am a pro life conspiracy theorist(not q, q is a psyop)  I am always searching for the truth in all things.  I have recently been struggling to establish a closer relationship with God and have been sorting through things like different versions of the Bible etc.  I live on a small gentleman's farm (as they call them around here) and find myself doing all the work myself.  I love my animals but it is rough.  I also do not see myself staying on this particular piece of property.  Not really sure about future location as long as there are mountains nearby.  I do not watch tv, movies or listen to music.  I would rather spend my time with my animals or focusing on quieting my mind, being in nature...  I miss the "good old days".  I feel like so much of what i long for simply doesn't exist anymore or is vanishing rapidly.  Can anyone relate?  

Hi Dusty,

Welcome to Permies.  

Yes, the values can be there if we want them to be, but is is not an easy route to take.   My 11 acres is in pretty remote  in my county of 8000.   I was surprised last evening to hear children giggling on my property.  As I searched for them, I spotted four 8 to 10 year olds in my woods.   They were having an adventure, so I did not interrupt.  I did keep watch from a distance in case they had problems.   They found their way back to my driveway, and headed in the direction of a country church down the road from me.  

Hopefully their adventure added to their development. I know it added to mine.

Welcome to the forum, Dusty!

I live in the boondocks and besides my husband, I only know my neighbor.

I am happy with my situation.

When I was younger I always attended church.  That is an excellent place to meet people. Everyone was always friendly.  Warm welcomes, big smiles, and handshakes.

Nowadays, my acquaintances are mostly store employees.

best wishes for what you seek.

John F Dean wrote:Hi Dusty,

Welcome to Permies.  

Yes, the values can be there if we want them to be, but is is not an easy route to take.   My 11 acres is in pretty remote  in my county of 8000.   I was surprised last evening to hear children giggling on my property.  As I searched for them, I spotted four 8 to 10 year olds in my woods.   They were having an adventure, so I did not interrupt.  I did keep watch from a distance in case they had problems.   They found their way back to my driveway, and headed in the direction of a country church down the road from me.  

Hopefully their adventure added to their development. I know it added to mine.

On the side, it is heartening to hear stories like this in this age with its video games and social media and polarization. It seems like increasingly people are penned in on the outside by the walls of the house, and inside by the four walls of self-absorption. But sometimes there are these stories of children getting out into nature off the beaten trail, and there are many who also wouldn’t have had the same kindness to watch them with good will. It makes me happy to hear this.

Hi Maieshe,

I have had related thoughts.  Those children could have wandered down the wrong path.  I am considering speaking with the minister.   I am trying got figure our how to express my thoughts so it doesn’t come out as a complaint about the children, their parents, or the church.

But in doing so, I am killing the very innocence I wondered at as I saw myself wandering through the woods in the 1950’s.  Unfortunately, the 1950s were many years ago.

Dusty Malone wrote:I don't know anyone that is similar to me and it has become...lonely? … I have recently been struggling to establish a closer relationship with God and have been sorting through things like different versions of the Bible etc. … I feel like so much of what i long for simply doesn't exist anymore or is vanishing rapidly.  Can anyone relate?  

I’m about a generation or two younger than you, depending on how one counts these things, and my life circumstances are a little different (young family, 1/2 acre with no animals, raising babies and toddlers). One would think that across that distance two people may not have many commonalities, but I’m finding a lot of resonance in what you say.

Even with fulfilling relationships and intimacy with the people I love, still I become lonely. I’m home a lot with little people—and honestly I love being home, but these small humans exhaust my energy, both physical and mental. And it can be lonely. I miss talking to adults more of the time, and having deep, wide-ranging conversations.

As far as technology, distractions, etc… we are trying to place very strict boundaries on a thing that can suck time and meaning out of the world. As the years pass, I suspect we will retreat further and further from the internet, from movies…

but not from music. Not from art. Not from books and stories.

I used to spend about an hour a day singing, and I haven’t for a while. The world has felt a little less joyous. Now… in my musical tastes I am countercultural. I listen to classical/orchestral music, to songs from musicals I like, and to a specific subset of folksy bluegrassy songs. And other random things. I do not listen to any of the music that ends up on the radio.

I long for a simple, quiet life. Few distractions. Lots of nature. Much joy. People I love. Long periods of silence, and then uproarious laughter. Time spent creating—stories, letters, gardens, orchards, little collections of stones and moss. Raising little people who stand in the rain and get dirt between their toes.

I have been lonely and I have been at the edge of depressed to greater or lesser degrees for the last decade or so… but life is good. I cannot imagine how I would have gotten through it all with my joy intact without God.

If any of this resonates, feel free to PM, or not. I’m open to conversation, though it may take me time to respond.

You are not alone. Even if you feel alone. You are not.

I think you did the right thing, John.

When I was a 10-ish boy growing up with 30 acres of field and forest behind my house, I was back in the woods most of the time. Spent whole summers back there. Lots of neighborhood kids.

This isn't the 70s. But it isn't hellscape either. TV loves to run stories about abducted children. But the reality is that the number of kids abducted by a stranger is statistically insignificant. It's mostly non-custodial parents or people known by the family who do those things. We live in an age of helicopter moms and kids with no place or opportunity to explore unsupervised. And that is a big part of development, especially for boys. The law of large numbers practically guarantees that nothing bad is going to happen to them playing in the woods. Just my 2 cents.

j

I would have no problem letting them play if it were my property.

John F Dean wrote:Hi Maieshe,

I have had related thoughts.  Those children could have wandered down the wrong path.  I am considering speaking with the minister.   I am trying got figure our how to express my thoughts so it doesn’t come out as a complaint about the children, their parents, or the church.

But in doing so, I am killing the very innocence I wondered at as I saw myself wandering through the woods in the 1950’s.  Unfortunately, the 1950s were many years ago.

Dusty Malone wrote:46F basically looking for a friend.  Which is why this is not in the singles thread.  I am nowhere near ready for anything other than a good friend.  Over the past few years I have found myself at several crossroads.  I don't know anyone that is similar to me and it has become...lonely?  Not sure if that is the right word.  I am a pro life conspiracy theorist(not q, q is a psyop)  I am always searching for the truth in all things.  I have recently been struggling to establish a closer relationship with God and have been sorting through things like different versions of the Bible etc.  I live on a small gentleman's farm (as they call them around here) and find myself doing all the work myself.  I love my animals but it is rough.  I also do not see myself staying on this particular piece of property.  Not really sure about future location as long as there are mountains nearby.  I do not watch tv, movies or listen to music.  I would rather spend my time with my animals or focusing on quieting my mind, being in nature...  I miss the "good old days".  I feel like so much of what i long for simply doesn't exist anymore or is vanishing rapidly.  Can anyone relate?  

I can certainly relate. For a few years until last fall (and a mystical awakening experience) I was in a very similar place, though my specific beliefs differed. I think that it is a worthy path, pursuing quietude and connection with nature, and especially good to wholeheartedly seek truth and wisdom through honesty and patience.

And it is difficult when what you love is gone, and vanishing rapidly is even worse. I have mourned the chestnuts, the old growth, the mountain lion; the wild lilies plowed under; the favorite morel patches and beautiful abundant old forests turned to a half-forested but still wasteland by loggers, the ash trees dying off or being cut down, the diverse plant communities turning to churned-up mud, the ancient black loam, once the nurturer of the land, now somewhere at the bottom of Lake Champlain or offgassed into the atmosphere; times when people grew the old kind of corn that tastes like ambrosia; a pasture on the high mountain, a remnant of calmer times, where I picked spontaneous apples with a friend and gathered catnip seed. Logging on the summit of a sacred mountain. Stories like this everywhere.

There is also this, if it is interesting at all. I will try to express it through various statements which all restate a similar meaning in various ways, things that have helped me recently:
1. In the clarity of the heart, joy in a single moment—In every wild thing, there is the infinite wonder of creation. But past the constant barrage of appearances, can we perceive the inner nature of things which lies beyond their appearance?
2. The sight of a mountain, or the sight from the mountain?
3. A rainbow cannot be followed or grasped.
4. I am finding what is perceived by the senses to not be true Nature, only an empty visage. When the soul doesn’t attach itself to the manifest and the sensible, its scope widens and is able to perceive divine reality, the true nature of things: meditation.

I can’t promise friendship but if you resonate with some of the things above and would like to discuss I’d be open.

Welcome to Permies,

I am a bit of a recluse getting a lot of my face-time with people at my place of employment, but otherwise I enjoy the company of my wife and myself. With the consumption of emotion-gripping media, sometimes it can almost be overwhelming to see what is going on with the world or rather what I'm being told is going on with the world.

I think it is important to take the time and appreciate the things immediately around us, and enjoy living a little slower. When I was a child, I rode a bike with my friends through the village I live in being a menace. Technology and interests have changed over time with anything with a screen now being a big interest to kids. I, now am a man in the village that I live in, have been enjoying the early spring weather outside and have discovered I am not the only one. Roving bands of kids on bikes are out trying to find adventure and creating memories.

I think things are relative and life has some pendulum swings. Sometimes it just takes us a conscious moment to take in our surroundings and appreciate the good that is out there.

Thanks for such thoughtful replies everyone.  It made my heart smile to know that children are still playing outside in the woods 💓

Dusty Malone wrote:Thanks for such thoughtful replies everyone.  It made my heart smile to know that children are still playing outside in the woods 💓

In our front yard, we have a big old Norway maple. It's rotting slowly--the end is nigh, and once it's close enough, it'll become food for the next round of trees there. The special thing about this tree, however, is that it has a huge root at the surface with a large knot on it that rotted out at some point, making a little bowl in the ground. It's a "pond" that fills with rainwater but it's only a few inches in diameter and a few inches deep.

My toddler and I fill a watering can and fill that "pond," and then he plays in the water with sticks and leaves and hands and feet for hours.

We're blessed to live nearby family that own a farm, so when he gets older he'll graduate to playing in the woods like that.

R West wrote:

Dusty Malone wrote:Thanks for such thoughtful replies everyone.  It made my heart smile to know that children are still playing outside in the woods 💓

In our front yard, we have a big old Norway maple. It's rotting slowly--the end is nigh, and once it's close enough, it'll become food for the next round of trees there. The special thing about this tree, however, is that it has a huge root at the surface with a large knot on it that rotted out at some point, making a little bowl in the ground. It's a "pond" that fills with rainwater but it's only a few inches in diameter and a few inches deep.

My toddler and I fill a watering can and fill that "pond," and then he plays in the water with sticks and leaves and hands and feet for hours.

We're blessed to live nearby family that own a farm, so when he gets older he'll graduate to playing in the woods like that.

This is an amazing way to live.  Unfortunately, I do not have children so I do not often get to see the world through children's eyes.  I do understand what you were saying yesterday though....and thank you for your closing statement yesterday.  I appreciated it.

I wanted to take the time to reply to each comment but when i  reply, I am no longer able to see what everyone wrote.

Dusty Malone wrote:46F basically looking for a friend.  Which is why this is not in the singles thread.  I am nowhere near ready for anything other than a good friend.  Over the past few years I have found myself at several crossroads.  I don't know anyone that is similar to me and it has become...lonely?  Not sure if that is the right word.  I am a pro life conspiracy theorist(not q, q is a psyop)  I am always searching for the truth in all things.  I have recently been struggling to establish a closer relationship with God and have been sorting through things like different versions of the Bible etc.  I live on a small gentleman's farm (as they call them around here) and find myself doing all the work myself.  I love my animals but it is rough.  I also do not see myself staying on this particular piece of property.  Not really sure about future location as long as there are mountains nearby.  I do not watch tv, movies or listen to music.  I would rather spend my time with my animals or focusing on quieting my mind, being in nature...  I miss the "good old days".  I feel like so much of what i long for simply doesn't exist anymore or is vanishing rapidly.  Can anyone relate?  

If you arent my best friend going undercover, I know your exact twin.
Every single detail, even your age...bizarre things like not listening to music, calling q a psyop...
Shes 48, also recently coming to god, pro life, living on a small farm.....shes pretty much you, down to every detail you listed. neat.

Can i ask what country you live in?

aurora sev wrote:

Dusty Malone wrote:46F basically looking for a friend.  Which is why this is not in the singles thread.  I am nowhere near ready for anything other than a good friend.  Over the past few years I have found myself at several crossroads.  I don't know anyone that is similar to me and it has become...lonely?  Not sure if that is the right word.  I am a pro life conspiracy theorist(not q, q is a psyop)  I am always searching for the truth in all things.  I have recently been struggling to establish a closer relationship with God and have been sorting through things like different versions of the Bible etc.  I live on a small gentleman's farm (as they call them around here) and find myself doing all the work myself.  I love my animals but it is rough.  I also do not see myself staying on this particular piece of property.  Not really sure about future location as long as there are mountains nearby.  I do not watch tv, movies or listen to music.  I would rather spend my time with my animals or focusing on quieting my mind, being in nature...  I miss the "good old days".  I feel like so much of what i long for simply doesn't exist anymore or is vanishing rapidly.  Can anyone relate?  

If you arent my best friend going undercover, I know your exact twin.
Every single detail, even your age...bizarre things like not listening to music, calling q a psyop...
Shes 48, also recently coming to god, pro life, living on a small farm.....shes pretty much you, down to every detail you listed. neat.

Can i ask what country you live in?

Wow!  And to think, I don't know ANYONE as kooky as me 🤣  I'm in the states.  Northeast.

Aurora, I'm holding onto 46 as long as I can though 🤭🤭

Dusty Malone wrote:Aurora, I'm holding onto 46 as long as I can though 🤭🤭

haha, yes I dont blame you. time isnt kind to anyone.

It would be neat to chat, im on board with most of what you said, and you are a mirror of my best friend.
I relate to the feeling of being fairly alone, finding people with values, that think for themselves, is getting rare. Its my theory people like us hide a little too well!

*raises hand* Yes, me too! I am 52F, offgrid, tiny cabin in the woods. I too don't watch tv, movies, or listen to music.  I followed conspiracy theories for a long time (does anyone remember Paranoia Magazine?), but I have decided to live a joyful life and not worry about stuff anymore. I am pro-life also. Would love to chat sometime!

I know the feeling of doing things on my 30 acres here alone for the most part.  This past year I had my mom move in with me so that I can help here as she had been let go of her job due to having cancer all over so I am in a big adjustment trying to figure out how to handle thing with work, her appointments and preparing my 30 acres.  I am 46 year old and not enough time to do everything I want done here alone but I get a day or two here and there and I am out doing what I can.  I also have hopes maybe a friend or someone like minded buying out my neighbors 13 acres an trailer out and work together to make both properties more sustainable out here in this west Texas environment.  Out here hardly anyone come out and if they do it's usually a wrong turn trying to get across the draw to someone over on other side.  Other then my best friend building an RV pad for him and his wife this year my nearest neighbor is 700 ft or more away.

The kids were back last Sunday eve.  I expect them back tonight as well.  They appear to feel comfortable here. I am sure they have shared their adventures with some adult by now.

John, I'm so glad the kids are enjoying your property, sounds like a good place to play.

Dusty you sound a lot like my MIL, she's 52 and loves taking care of the 7 cats, 3 dogs, and 3 chickens she has, growing things in the backyard, growing her relationship with God. Though she would admit that she spends more time online watching videos than she'd like to admit haha, so that might be a difference between y'all.