How to welcome new neighbors?

How is everyone doing today on Permies?

It appears that I will be having a new neighbor moving in sometime soon. I've been fortunate to have had the same great amazing neighbors for over thirty years but times change. While I am not much of a social butterfly, I think it is important to introduce oneself and to be welcoming to newcomers.

Do you do anything if someone new arrives in your neighborhood? Do you bring a gift and how would you decide what to bring?

Come on Permies, teach me some manners so I don't look like a derange chicken tender who is only seen at a distance.

I think most people would welcome a small gift of something you grew in your garden, honey if you have bees, a plant grown from a cutting from one of your plants, anything like that.  I know I would.  I would much prefer something like that than anything you could buy.  I'm kind of like you I guess and I find it hard to socialize, but a little thing like that can go a long way to making a good relationship with a neighbor, and everyone has heard the horror stories of neighbors making each other's lives a living hell.

I'd probably take a humerus tone. Walk over and be like "Hi, I was just wondering, how you would welcome a new neighbor to the area?". Then go do whatever they suggested... to them :)

That's not really a thing that I've done. When I lived in town, I wanted as little to do with the neighbors as possible, and when living in the country, no one has moved out/in.

However, when we bought this house, we had it for nine months before we moved in (renovations, etc) and were visiting every weekend. During that time through shortly after moving in, five of the six closest neighbors came by to introduce themselves. One of them invited herself in to inspect what all the remodeling work was about and to interrogate us about what church we'd be attending (none, thanks). Another volunteers at a food pantry thing packing meal-boxes and brings home their leftovers...he brought some over to share when he introduced himself. And a third, the ones we're socially closest too, offered to lend us tools as needed.

The offer of help and tools was really thoughtful.

When we bought a new house years ago in Dallas, my neighbor sent us a greeting card welcoming us to the neighborhood.

That was a long time ago, though I have never forgotten the thoughtfulness of getting that card.

On TV shows I have seen folks taking a fresh baked pie or cookies to the new neighbor.

Food is nice, but not necessary. You'll be able to introduce yourself.
Hi, I'm Tim, and this is my wife. We live over there. We wanted to say hello and welcome you to the neighborhood.
And see how things progress from there.

A plant is a lovely welcome gift.

The nicest neighborly welcome I've had came from someone who took the time to come over and introduce themselves. They didn't bring a gift, as the conversation was the gift.

They shared fond stories of the former owners, a little background of the neighbors, history of the neighborhood, and even some tips on caring for the trees.

It was done in a way that didn't feel overbearing and helped me feel welcomed "home."

I've made a habit of trying to introduce myself to new neighbors as soon as possible, even going over to offer to help on move-in day if I'm around, even though I might rather be doing something else.  I have dollies and mover's strap and so forth - even some heavier rigging tools like pinch bars, pipe rolls, chain falls, winches and come-a-longs -  so it's not an idle offer.  If the big guns are needed, my brother has a mini excavator, front loaders and gooseneck flat deck and dump trailers and whatnot.  Need to move in an upright piano?  A wood burning cook stove?  A gun safe into the basement?  We can probably help.

We usually try to offer some small gift - food, a plant, whatever.  If it's a single woman, and she seems a little leery of me and my motives, I give her my wife's cell number to call if she needs help.  That's only been a couple of times.  Otherwise, they get my number, and I tell them to call any time.  And I mean it.  I've hopped out of bed at 1AM to throw on boots and a coat to help push someone out of a snow drift.  Or at 2:30AM to wade through knee deep water to check on our elderly neighbors.

I try to make sure the new arrivals know when important municipal infrastructure stuff happens - the volunteer fire department has training on Tuesday evenings, so don't worry if you see the trucks out then; the fire barn siren goes off in case of any civil emergency, not just fires; trash pickup is on Wednesday morning - put it out the night before unless you are up before 6AM, but make sure the raccoons and sea gulls can't get at it; etc.  Which of the local eateries or watering holes serve reputable food.  What the (unposted) park hours are, so you don't inadvertently attract the attention of the local constabulary (because they do cruise through around closing time' just to check).  Don't eat fish out of the lake (high levels of toxic gick), it's still not safe to swim at the beach (also gick, and sharp objects left over from a flood we had, buried in the sand).  The seaplane ferry will take off at 8AM sharp, every morning all summer long, and will warm up the engines before that, so don't plan on sleeping in.  Where the village brush dump is.  All of the stuff I'd want to know.

Once I see a little better how someone operates, I may offer to lend them tools, if they need them.  I generally won't lend out things I wouldn't just give them outright if it came to that - I try to keep an open hand - but some things have sentimental value (my dad's hand saws or my grandfather's framing hammer), so I am not inclined to lend out those items.  But, a commodity Stanley hand saw, or a "Heavy Hitter" hardware store claw hammer - sure, I have several of each, so if one gets wrecked or falls in the lake or whatever, no biggy.  Probably not power tools, at least until I have some confidence they won't maim themselves and others.  I have it on good authority that saw chaps won't reliably stop an electric chainsaw, and I don't want someone to empirically verify that with my saw!

As a trial run, I may even, after a bit, ask them for assistance with some smallish task, even though I don't actually need the help, per se, just to see if they are a reliable helper.  If they aren't, well then I know.  Or, maybe they are willing, but just have a different skill set.  That's important to know, too.

This is all with a view to developing community and building social capital within our neighborhood.  My point of view is that, when the chips are down, social capital is the most important sort.  Yes, skills and intellectual capital and capital equipment (tools and books) matter, and over the longer term arable land might be right up there too, but if no one is willing to assist others, pitch in on community projects or share, then having all of that other stuff doesn't help nearly as much.

A few years ago, we had the aforementioned flood - severe damage very localized due to a high rainfall event which persisted because a storm cell basically parked or stalled, and just kept dumping (7+ inches, mostly in just a handful of hours).  We for sure found out who was reliable and helpful, then (more people than I would have suspected, quite honestly - it was very inspiring).  During the somewhat contentious days of the pandemic, I tried to keep in mind that the same people who had vehemently different opinions about things then were the same people who had been mucking out each others basements and cooking dinner for the neighborhood a few years prior.  If push comes to shove, I'd bet it will be every shoulder to the wheel again.

Anyway, in my view, welcoming new neighbors is just part of fostering community and building up this sort of social capital.  And, finding out who's who.

We live down a shared driveway in an urban environment and our house is in the middle.

The house at the end is tenanted and we have been fortunate that the tenants have been considerate and don't have loud parties.

When they moved in, I called around with a jar of homemade jam to introduce ourselves. I took our dog with me and asked them to keep an eye out for him as he has been know to escape if the door is left open and he has no road sense whatsoever - all beauty and no brains, the cutest little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

From time to time, I drop off excess vegetables from the community garden and a jar of whatever preserves I have been making.

The house to the other side is a holiday rental and the owners come to stay from time to time. I dropped off homemade preserves when they first moved in too.

I trust my gut instinct. Some people really need to land first, moving is a big, big change. People are not very trusting of help.. Maybe if they obviously need it.. Last new neighbors moving in , i only got to know after a couple of month, waved them down when they were on their way to the scrap yard with a lot of plant debris in a trailer. I had spoken to the man a bit before while he chatted to another neighbor. I offered them to dump thee in a corner of the permaculture project. They were well impressed. The man helped me with solar and electrical wiring, plumbing. His wive comes and takes rhubarb and berries and shares her marmelades with me. But i didn't jump right in there to introduce myself.
I like the card idea though.

Would be cool to make a "moving in kit." Bring some toilet paper/paper towels, some snacks/food, or something else that they might need immediately but still need to unpack or shop for.

I'm big on making baked goods and saying hello. When people move it's often a lot of running around, an easy breakfast of banana bread or something is usually welcome. At this point now we would probably give them the contact of the neighborhood whatsapp group and tell them what day is trash/recycling too.
And yet... a large-ish building is going up across the street. Either apartments or multiple attached houses. I don't think I'll be going there to ring doorbells, it just seems sort of different.

The previous owner of the house actually did this for us... but it was really helpful. He left a list of good plumbers, hvac, chimney sweep, car repair places, etc. A list of good trades in the area would be invaluable. Even if they don't need it now, knowing who and where is helpful.

Plus, the people were already familiar with the systems in the house.

Not too many new neighbors in my area.  When they do appear, we usually bring a couple of loaves of bread ..one light and one dark.  During the time we had dogs that would run through are area, I would tell anyone new  that while my dogs did have a sterling reputation of just running at breakneck speed every where they went without doing any harm, if they did encounter problems I would lock the dogs up in their kennel with no hard feelings on my part.

With all the special diets out there, I never bring food anymore, but I always introduce myself to new neighbors. It helps to have a little network going, in my opinion. I am single, so I have someone to watch out when I'm out of town. We also watch out for each others' pets, kids for those who have them at home, water gardens when someone is away, etc.

It also makes difficult conversations easier. "Your dog has been howling all day." is one I had to use recently, but I was able to say it in a nice way because the dog is familiar and the neighbor and I have chatted many times. Turns out he wasn't home, but he told me how to get into the house to let the dog in so he would stop howling. Easy peasy!

Kevin, your neighbors must love you!  You sound like your heart is in the right place.  I kinda wish you were my neighbor!

We've been having neighborhood afternoon parties to greet new neighbors. Potluck or something simple like snacks and drinks, so they can get to meet more people at once and the neighborhood gets more cohesive and neighborly. Part of the fun is the hosts walking around the neighborhood and knocking on doors to invite everyone.

When I have a new neighbor, I bake them a pie.  It works everytime.