Women homesteading ALONE?

Is it possible for women to homestead ALONE?

I'm 38. Living in nature and being self-sufficient has always been my dream. But I have a few worries. One of them has to do with the safety of living alone in the rural areas. Because I have heard stories of single women getting robbed (even though she was living very close to neighbours). And it seems it's not uncommon to hear about burglaries in the countryside, in both developed and developing countries. I'm worried.

I think it depends where you are going to live . Here in France for instance gun crime is rare in the countryside and I have never heard of any robberies local to me .

David

I don't homestead alone yet either, but I hope to eventually. (Because I don't want to wait for a homesteading partner once I've got the cash to buy land.)

My big concern isn't actually about safety in the sense that I would be more vulnerable to theft and other things because of being a woman, but rather I would be worried about being a person alone, without anyone to notice if I fell off a ladder and broke a leg or suffered some other sort of accident, particularly if it was outside of mobile phone service area. I can envision having to somehow crawl back towards the house in the middle of winter with a serious injury, and that scares me. I suspect that if/when I do eventually try homesteading, I will try very seriously to develop a safety net system with a few people in the area, whereby we arrange if they don't see/hear from me every 24 hours or so, they come and check on me, and of course I would offer the same for them. But this isn't a women-only problem, and since there are men homesteading alone, it must be surmountable.

Your sense of safety from other-inflicted harm probably varies somewhat based on where you're planning to live. I'm lucky to feel quite safe in general around this small town, and often walk or hike alone after dark, which some people think is dangerous, but I've never had that gut feeling of being in danger doing so. Coming from a big city, where I frequently waited for buses downtown at night with homeless people and drug-addicts, I find a lot of the talk about thefts/crimes around here a bit overdone, often there will be a statement like "migrants keep breaking into the cars down by the grocery store and stealing spare change" but then it's followed up by someone asking if the victim locked the doors to the car, and the answer is well, no, we never had to do that before. A lot of the "problem" seems to be that people don't want to adapt in any way to the fact that the town is slowing expanding in population, and therefore the "everybody knows everybody else" anti-crime strategy is no longer fully livable. You have to do a few things to discourage unwanted visitors from wandering into your car/house/property. For the first year that we lived here one of our neighbours would always make fun of us because when they came to the door, we had to unlock the door before they could come in.
So if you're concerned about thefts in smaller population centers, one of the things you might consider is that the people living in those areas might not yet be used to simple crime prevention strategies, like locking the dang door, which might be perfectly habitual to you. Thieves tend to be lazy and will pick on the easy target first. If you neighbour leaves their door unlocked, and you lock yours, they're going to visit your neighbour instead of you. Of course, maybe our house will be stripped bare tommorrow, and I'll no longer have this theory.
I've read many times that the best security system is a dog.
I would definitely get another dog when going homesteading alone.

While I'm not homesteading in a grand sense yet, I do the majority of the homesteading-type work around here, (which mostly means gardening and fixing things around the house) and try to do it all myself, since my partner is not particularly down with sustainable practices. However, another problem with going it alone comes up whenever there's a project that needs more then one pair of hands. Sometimes it's really hard to complete a project by yourself, and it's really nice to be able to just holler for an extra hand. Again, because there are people that live alone, I know that there is probably a way to get most things done solo, and if really neccessary, there's always the "borrow a favour from a neighbour" or hiring someone way out.

So, in conclusion, I think homesteading as a woman alone will be more challenging then homesteading with a partner, but I'm not convinced it will be more challenging then homesteading as a man alone, and I hope I don't let that fear stop me when the time comes.

Just my thoughts on the question, I hope that you'll discover there is a woman or two homesteading alone on the forums, and I'd be happy to read about their experiences along with you!

Well - I'm 35, single mom and I am off grid homesteading alone. My kids are still young, so don't really count as "support" just yet.

Although I say *alone* I do have family that lives nearby, and they help (specifically, my dad is helping me finish my house because it's unfinished and I don't know what I'm doing). But in my day to day life, it's just me.

The truth is, you can homestead without being an hour away from folks. I am way off the beaten path, have 20 acres (all together, my family owns 140 with my parents and brother nearby), off grid, you name it. Homesteading doesn't have to be super duper isolated. I'm 15 minutes from town.

Regarding robberies, I can't say this for certain but I think the shifty types tend to go for easy targets. I don't know of many people who are way out in the woods who would get robbed, seems like it would be the folks who live right off a road? My driveway itself is two miles at the very end of a long country road. No one comes up here unless they know me.

Big dogs. Big dogs are a good and important thing. They keep you safe from predators and really help provide a sense of security. Back again to shifty types preferring easy targets, that includes both humans and also four legged predators. I have a 90lb American Bulldog that has on more than one occasion scared off a black bear. That black bear could take her out but hey the truth is, those bears don't want a fight. My dog keeps me safe and helps me FEEL safe. Crackheads don't really want a fight either, they aren't going to brave a couple of snarling dogs to go steal your lawnmower. Once I'm fenced I'll get a couple more dogs. Get yourself a couple livestock guardian dogs if you have a fenced perimeter, and I guarantee you will have no problems.

I agree with Vera that one of the big risks is if something were to happen to you. Take precautions. I love using my chainsaw but every time I run that thing I am just so paranoid... but there is protective clothing I can get (and will be getting this year!) Having land where you're still in range of a cell tower is a good thing. Just BE SMART about what you're doing.

And the other thing I would say is to know your limits. I love cutting and splitting wood but the truth is I just don't have the strength to do my annual supply myself. I'm pretty strong for a woman, too. I do, however, have a business where I can work and make enough money to buy it from a local guy. I can make enough money in a weekend at a decent gift show to pay for a year's worth of wood (3.5 cords) that would take me MONTHS to put up myself. My firewood guy has equipment that I don't have access to, so it goes a lot quicker for him.

I try to do what I can or what I have to, but I'm not afraid to outsource. Understand that while women CAN do anything a man can do (except maybe write your name in the snow, not entirely sure about that) we aren't generally as strong as they are unless we train heavily, which means it may take us longer to do things, etc.

So, I like to think of it as what am I GOOD at that I can trade for the things I need done around here? You may end up bartering a bunch of home-canned jelly for firewood, or bartering fresh veg that you grew for masonry work.

BUT on the other hand, don't limit yourself either. My dad came in this summer and we drywalled together. I'd never even considered drywalling, but I did it and you know what? I have a REAL knack for hand texturing. And drywalling is kinda fun! Hard work, but nice to use my body in a physical way like that. So when stuff comes up that needs to be done, I just kinda categorize it as "Can I do this? Do I WANT to do this? Would my time be better spent elsewhere and save up $ to hire someone?"

Big dog + small gun.

I've lived in the country in middle Texas all my adult life and I feel safer out in the sticks a lot more than in town.
Might feel different if I was female don't know but mom has lived out all her life and never had a problem ,that being said choose your friends well ,don't let every one know you are alone.

Homesteading alone is hard, I don't care who you are. Single women probably have a higher percentage of success than single men, because of determination and shear will.

Thanks everybody. A couple of silly questions:

1. I used to think big dogs is the solution. But a few people (from different parts of the world, e.g. in Chile, Taiwan) have told me that the thieves would poison all the dogs (and cut the wires) in the neighbourhood before they strike.

2. Also, what do you do when the dogs bark endlessly? do you go out to check it out? But what am I as a single woman supposed to do if I go check it out? or am I supposed to hide away and not let the thieves see who I am? perhaps they just want to check if somebody is at home? or who that person is?

I'm from a city-state where there's sadly no countryside that I can buy and live a self-sufficient life (at least not at an affordable price). I'm done my research and decided to move to Latin America.

Carol

Carol. Good questions. First suggest getting to know neighbors and know your limits. I always make sure there is someone around when I am going to do something stupid to call 911 or maybe just to film.
1. Dogs are great. But a good dog is worth its weight in gold. My dog protects the animals and the property. Just her presence has kept the thieves away. They hit properties on both sides of us. A dog that is on guard and trained can be trained not to eat strange food. I would not let the chance of poison deter you from getting a dog. I would plan on spending time picking the right breed then training it and making it a good dog.
2. Good dogs bark for a reason. Train you dog to bark at what you want her to bark at. My dogs bark when they feel like they need reinforcements or they get something cornered. In the middle of the night I let her bark unless it gets serious and you can hear the difference. She is a German Shepard trained to be a LGD.
How bad is the crime in the area you are thinking of going.

It's the first time I hear about this special type of dogs called LGD - Livestock Guardian Dogs? Thanks so much for the advice! So, how many dogs should I keep?

Yes, I sure need to know my neighbours - but then, somebody also reminded me to not let others know I live alone. It's a dilemma - if I let others know that I live alone, others may watch out for me. But, the word may also get around and make myself vulnerable. Also, I can't always lie to others that I live with somebody when they may or will eventually find out there I live alone? What should I do?

Having a LGD could be fine but really you need somewhere you can feel safe is the most important . If you want to live in Latin america are you able to communicate with your neighbours ? Do you speak spanish ? If I was to live somewhere where I could not communicate with my neighbours that would be very scary for me.

In this day and age of cameras it is quite easy for anyone, men and women, to increase their safety. Posting signs that there are cameras on duty keeps anyone from looking like an easy target. Outdoor trail cameras can be motion activated or they can do field scans, 1 picture every 30 seconds set at specific times of the day or night, and don't require motion within 50 feet.

If someone is evil enough, or wants revenge, it won't matter if there's a couple living there or single people. It seems that latest threat to everyone are the remote places where drug dealers set up growing areas or labs, especially in state parks, people wander innocently onto a dealers setup and they get shot. Remote areas come with advantages and disadvantages.

The main thing anyone comes up against when living independently and remotely is the daily grind of keeping your own "grid" going, water, power, septic, heat, foundation and roof issues, buying and maintaining machinery, maintaining a good driveway, and keeping the rodents/insects/animals at bay, knowing how to set it up, and fix it when there's trouble. It means living hours away from friends you already have, and rarely seeing neighbors. It's not a social way of life if it is remote.

Living in a small town, however, can be as off the grid as you want it, it feels like country, there is a social life, and there is still community. It is probably a good transition to try a smaller life, rather than a remote life for anyone making a big change to remote rural life.

Another related issue is that you may become suddenly extremely popular. Many rural areas have ratios that are dominated by men, like 7 to 1, and most of the women are married. You may have everybody putting their bid in to become your new boyfriend, which can be overwhelming unless that is desired. Of course, many of them may realize that you arent' really romantically compatible, they want to be your friend and be protective.
John S
PDX OR

I have a lot of feelings about this. I'm off grid and married with three children. But until very recently our family's primary income was out of town work for my husband. Which left me alone on the homestead with my kids, sometimes a month at a time. My first year I struggled with anxiety over it, every time. And I wish I hadn't. I mean, I want to be gentle with myself and forgiving of that. But I think it was a waste of my precious energy.

Here's an example. I've recently started making a little money with YouTube videos about our off grid lifestyle. And YouTube comments...right? One guy watched a video about how I was alone on the property with my kids and said, you should be scared of a man with a knife. I'm like...YOU are the man with the knife. I mean, HE is the one who is doing violence to me, by frightening me, and telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing. I feel like it has been such a waste of my precious energy, worrying about my safety as a woman, just letting myself be controlled by that. Not that there aren't plenty of safety concerns, and I agree with everybody that being alone without someone to know if you get hurt is the biggest one. But life is dangerous. I mean, people are dangerous, too. Cars are dangerous. Diseases are dangerous. I'm not going to be more scared (and more distracted!) just because I'm a woman!

Also relevant ... is that my nearest neighbor (1/3 of a mile away from me, we're all 40 minutes out of town) is 81 and female and has lived alone in her cabin since her kids were grown. She knows a lot of people and has visitors all the time, including us. But she runs her own life. And I love her for it.

Best of luck to you!

What about having a burglar alarm in the house?

Esther Emery wrote:

Also relevant ... is that my nearest neighbor (1/3 of a mile away from me, we're all 40 minutes out of town) is 81 and female and has lived alone in her cabin since her kids were grown. She knows a lot of people and has visitors all the time, including us. But she runs her own life. And I love her for it.

Would love to have neighbours like her! These people are inspirations to me. Whenever I feel paranoid doing things or going to places alone and out of my comfort zone, I think about people like her. Honestly, I think safety is always an issue anywhere in the world, as long as there're human beings. When I spent a week living in a tent on my own in the forest and on beaches in Alaska, I felt the greatest danger was not from the bears but from human beings.

Anyway, I wonder if this lady ever had confrontations with robbers in her house? Esther, you know?

I don't think so, Carol. If so she hasn't told me about it. I've heard about the wolverines. But I've never heard about human burglars at her place. Probably it depends on the region, but in our area there is vandalism and theft of properties that are or seem to be uninhabited, especially close to the road. But people who are home don't have trouble that I've heard about. We're in gun country, which is probably relevant. (Idaho) And there isn't an itinerant population desperate enough to risk getting shot. Still. Friends are important, for solidarity as well as safety. You could call someone on a regular schedule so if they don't hear from you they check it out.

Esther, thanks for posting that about the internet. I think we should all be way more worried about the dangers on the internet than what is probably unlikely to happen face to face. The females of all species are fierce at protecting their young, so never underestimate them. My female cousin lives alone remotely and has never had any problems, other than the argument she has with her neighbor, but that's her own doing.

So, Esther, now that you've had this experience on the internet, why are you still giving away your location? Locations aren't important to share. But what you have learned, your experiences are.

Don't be ascairt. Fear is a state of mind, often propagated by your parents, the government and mean people who want to control you. I know I'm speaking as a male of the species, but I've bred two women. One is a black belt, pistol carrying denizen of Atlanta's Southside and the other is just plain old scary...We're talking Taliban scary. Both have really nice hair. You need to take control of your own mind. Be fierce and nobody's patsy. Acquire the skills that make you a force and not a victim. You can't fear trivial things such as death, as it is inevitable. The rest are only opportunities for advancement. I support the right to bear arms and German Shepards, but I insist on the proper qualifications to bear both. Like my Grampa used to say, "Suck it up buttercup, help ain't comin." If you can't handle it, don't do it.


I fear being alone in the woods with children. Esther's the bravest one here, lemme tell you what.

I don't really have much to add here, as I'm not really a homesteader myself, just a hopeful. I watch a lot of YouTubes made by people living the dream but most of them are traditional nuclear families. I've found one woman that I really admire- Arky, from the Crystal Cottage Off Grid channel. She's doing it all herself (well, some help from friends, but most of it is her)- cob building, cutting and splitting firewood, growing food, the whole nine. I'm not affiliated with her in any way, I just watch her videos. I find it inspiring (and that word is really overused but, in this case, accurate) to see someone I can identify with doing what I someday hope to do.

Sairuh Tonin wrote:I don't really have much to add here, as I'm not really a homesteader myself, just a hopeful. I watch a lot of YouTubes made by people living the dream but most of them are traditional nuclear families. I've found one woman that I really admire- Arky, from the Crystal Cottage Off Grid channel. She's doing it all herself (well, some help from friends, but most of it is her)- cob building, cutting and splitting firewood, growing food, the whole nine. I'm not affiliated with her in any way, I just watch her videos. I find it inspiring (and that word is really overused but, in this case, accurate) to see someone I can identify with doing what I someday hope to do.

Thanks so much for the channel suggestion! That is very helpful!

I've been homesteading for the last16 years by my self and it hasn't been easy at times, but very satisfying. You have to know that's what you want to do and not look back. I've learned that the people that put you down or laugh at you really wish they could do the same. Perserverance pays off. Back in the 90's I bought 70 acres for $300.00 an acre and people laughed at me saying I payed too much. In 2007, I sold log home built from native logs and 15 acres for $106,000. and $85,ooo for 55 acres. House cost around $23,000. Who had the last laugh? See what I mean? It's all in what you want.

I always wonder about this: How do people, especially women, make a living while homesteading alone? Do they have an independent income? Or do they simply have such abundant energy they can come home from an 8-10 hr normal job to put in hours of work on the homestead?

My first reply to this was a bit headstrong, so I'm going to try again and keep it toned down. I feel very strongly about women alone in the woods. We belong in the woods! It doesn't have to be only a man's domain, but there's some work better done by men. So hire them! Find ways to make money, like even a full time job. Start small with composting, make a small garden, get some goats. All that is super easy. Start there. Slowly work your way up. Take the years and find your path. Finding your place in the woods is the first foremost thing. Good water, good drainage, and decent neighbors. A town with ordinances that won't drive you crazy. A place where people wear Carhart and drive trucks. Once you realize that you belong in the woods, you'll take your rightful place there. Just feel it in your bones, then just go out there and find a way to make it happen.

Jules

Carol, after having read the whole thread, it seems to me that your question is not can a you homestead alone, but do you want to?

I am not at all trying to belittle your fears, but at this particular moment in time, your concerns about safety and security seem to be overriding your desire to move out to the country by yourself. The fact that I, and many others here, can live out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a shotgun and a good dog doesn't mean you can. Location, experience, and temperament all play into that, and everyone's situation is different. But you have to be realistic about what you can and can't live with ... whether those fears seem reasonable to anyone else or not ... because you have to be able to sleep at night.

So if it were me, I would look at first finding a safe area where I could feel comfortable living with the security measures I was willing and able to establish. Then I would figure out how to turn that place into my idea of a homestead. There is an abundance of info on this forum and elsewhere about turning a small property into a self sufficient homestead, even in the city. Start there.

Maybe in a few years, after you've gained some experience, you'll decide you want to move a little further out. Maybe you'll meet someone who wants to share that dream with you. Maybe you'll decide that you love it where you are and you're happy with the way your homestead functions. Any of that is OK.

Challenging yourself is a good thing, up to a point. When the challenge creates significant anxiety, it's time to back up a step. It sounds like you need to take this one slow.

Tyler, I don't think it matters what gender a person is, living a rural life means that is how you've decided to spend your spare time. That means that evenings and weekends are spent taking care of basics, and working on new projects, not because one is a slave to them, but because they are a fun and satisfying way to spend time. Planning ahead is crucial and creates a lot of those projects. But when things go wrong, something breaks down, a storm causes problems, then free time turns into emergency repair time, and all other projects get put on hold. So, yes, after an 8 or 10 hour day there's still chores to be done, even if it's dark, even if it's storming out, even if it's freezing, even if you're tired, you know you have to get out there and do it, or it will get worse and take up even more time, and possibly money.

I don't particularly like to travel, I like to grow my own food and cook it, I don't spend much time on the computer. I'd rather stay home than find entertainment somewhere else, because the rural projects are what interest me. Once you get a rural homestead up and running, the tweaks that keep it going take less and less time, but there are always projects that seem interesting. Unless someone has ranchhands to do the work, or are living in a commune, I don't think the object is to sleep in a rural place and have a social life among a lot of people somewhere else.

I have only supplemented income from farming, but I never made a living at it. A lot of the bigger farmers in my area have second jobs with a company or state or county in order to get health and retirement benefits, and that seems to work out well.

Jules, I think you are right on!

Cristo Balete wrote: So, yes, after an 8 or 10 hour day there's still chores to be done, even if it's dark, even if it's storming out, even if it's freezing, even if you're tired, you know you have to get out there and do it, or it will get worse and take up even more time, and possibly money.

I don't know how folks manage that. I guess they must be really tough.

Carol Chung wrote:Is it possible for women to homestead ALONE?

I'm 38. Living in nature and being self-sufficient has always been my dream. But I have a few worries. One of them has to do with the safety of living alone in the rural areas. Because I have heard stories of single women getting robbed (even though she was living very close to neighbours). And it seems it's not uncommon to hear about burglaries in the countryside, in both developed and developing countries. I'm worried.

I have read of several women who are going it alone.
They live in not so remote places and have friendlies for neighbors.
I think it is entirely possible to do and be safe at the same time.
There is always the armed on your own land option should it make you feel better (safer) as long as you live where that is allowed by law.

Where we live, both my wife and I are always armed when out of the house on our land.
This is mostly for wild dog pack protection or coyote protection.

Tyler, the big family concept works in a rural place, all the kids have chores. The most mature and capable kids I know grew up on farms or in rural places, can drive when young, know how to be careful running big equipment or chainsaws or do engine maintenance, get a vehicle out of the mud, take care of animals. They work alongside their parents, there's a good bond there, they appreciate and respect a competent parent, and they want to be appreciated for being good at things too. They grow up to be competent adults, even if they don't stay rural.

Without kids, at the very least it's weekends. I haven't been away from my place for more than 3 days at a time. It makes me nervous, but I really don't want to be away from it anyway. You've got to love it that much

A woman homesteading alone is not likely to have a big family to do chores with her, it seems to me. If a single parent, likely she has only one or two children, and they are possibly too small to do many chores? She has to somehow manage to work a full time job, raise her children, plus homestead. To me that seems superhuman.

Tyler Ludens wrote:A To me that seems superhuman.

It doesn't have to be a giant place, and even one or two kids can make a difference. Not sure if you are married, Tyler, but never underestimate a woman

I am a woman.

Hey, Tyler, I did not know that! Then don't underestimate yourself!

But I would still start small, for anyone new to rural living, and be honest with yourself about how much maintenance and work you really want to do. I would say it takes about five years to get a place running pretty smoothly, while learning a few hard lessons, expect crises to happen, plan ahead, and always put money aside to replace equipment and do car maintenance because coming and going from a rural place is expensive, too, in gasoline and wear and tear on vehicles.

Thanks! I have been trying to "homestead" off and on since we moved to the country in 1998. My husband loves the outdoors but is not interested in raising food plants or animals, so I have done almost all of the animal house building and fencing, and all the gardening. He, thankfully, doesn't mind chainsawing, so he keeps the woodshed filled and the house warmed (we heat mostly with wood). So, in a way, I am a woman homesteading alone since I do virtually all of the homesteady stuff, though I do get tremendous emotional support from my husband. But I have spent most of my time flailing around making poor decisions and wasting time and money. And killing a LOT of trees. :p I'm not posting this to discourage other women, just that it is not easy for some of us low-energy, slow-learner types, also with health problems. It must be much easier if one is a bundle of energy, youth, health and a quick study, or lives in a more congenial climate. It is becoming more critical now as our primary home business is going away due to changes in the industry (showbiz) and we have to manage on an income somewhere around the poverty line. Makes it tough to adhere to that "always put money aside" rule. This is not an academic, rhetorical, or hypothetical conversation for me. I hope women will post more of the nitty-gritty about what exactly they are doing, especially if they are doing it alone, and how they manage to do it all and still have reserves left to emotionally support themselves and non-involved family members (if any).

Homesteading alone is a vague definition. To me, it means practically hermit status as well as not having help. If one is uncomfortable spending a great deal of time inside of one's own head, or dislikes talking to one's self or the dog etc.. instead of real people, than one is not likely to do well "alone". If one is overly concerned about security; either invasion by outsiders for nefarious purposes or just plain what happens if you drop a haybine on your foot (been there done that) and there is no one around to rescue you, than if you don't have the confidence to deal or keep yourself out of such a situation; you should start very slowly indeed and work towards your final comfort level. Do challenge yourself however.

There are many different levels of homesteading and women are capable of handling all of them on their own. If you have zero experience with DIY and don't have a decent amount of physical strength than either get those issues taken care of or limit what your expectations of homesteading are. Trial and error and brute strength solves most projects/problems, just know your capabilities, practise risk analysis and remember Rome wasn't built in a day. Homesteads are never built in my experience. They are a gift that keeps on giving.

I homestead full time alone. I raise beef cows, have 4 milk cows that I milk by hand, chickens/poultry and pigs. I cut and bale 70 acres of hay and maintain my pastures. I do my own fencing and endless fencing/building repairs, deconstuct my house on a regular basis and am learning to put it back together room by room. The past 3 months I haven't had a bathroom because I had to rip out the one and only to fix issues. I almost have the new one up and running. One more week should do it, but I have to keep putting it on the back burner because shovelling shite and snow keep me busy along with winter making the chores more time consuming.

Be prepared to put in a 16 hour day and than do the other stuff that life dumps on you just to make it interesting and keep you from over sleeping. No need for the boob tube as there is simply no time for it. The farm is all; there is nothing else so be sure you know what is in your bones to do. Its all great. Living by the seasons and weather and not the clock is much more preferable than a nine to five for me. I work hard but its mostly play for me. Except when the bull takes down the fence I just spent a week putting up or the turkey tom attacks the car that finally got it's once in a life time wash and polish and the tom saw his reflection and destroyed the paint job attacking himself. It would be funny if it happened to some one else. I am woman hear me roar.

Finally, I have been here alone for the most part for 8 years except for a few weeks a year and DH has been supporting the farm from far and away. He will be retiring soon and coming home and we will be living strictly off of this farm. He is not big on farm grunt work and he puts the word chore in chores so I will continue to do what I love most; spending all my time outdoors while he takes over welding, woodwork, house cleaning and lifting the other end of the board/tree when needed. So looking forward to someone to help lift the heavy awkward crap and not always having to rig up strange pulley systems that waste so much time setting up and doing all the things that require a ladder. Its sucks cleaning a chimney when you are deathly afraid of heights.

Just to be clear, Raye; you are not working another job while homesteading, you are spending 16 hours a day on homesteading only, with your husband working off-site to pay the bills?

A 16 hour day is not realistic for me personally. I have this image of permaculture as a system which can enable us to, over time as our systems mature, work fewer and fewer hours. Maybe that is unrealistic!

Cristo Balete wrote:Tyler, the big family concept works in a rural place, all the kids have chores. The most mature and capable kids I know grew up on farms or in rural places, can drive when young, know how to be careful running big equipment or chainsaws or do engine maintenance, get a vehicle out of the mud, take care of animals. They work alongside their parents, there's a good bond there, they appreciate and respect a competent parent, and they want to be appreciated for being good at things too. They grow up to be competent adults, even if they don't stay rural.

Without kids, at the very least it's weekends. I haven't been away from my place for more than 3 days at a time. It makes me nervous, but I really don't want to be away from it anyway. You've got to love it that much

This only works when the kids are older. Often, when you're starting out a homestead, you're also starting a family, and that means even more work, because babies, toddlers and preschoolers--while often trying to helpful--really slow things down. Homesteading alone, as woman with young kids, would be even more difficult than homesteading alone without them.

(For background, my husband works lots of overtime (and night shift) and I stay home and manage the homestead and our toddler. It sure ain't easy, and I really don't know how some woman manage to homestead, have young kids, and work jobs. Even if all these things are your passion, that's a lot to do and not that many hours. I'm sure it can-and has--been done, but that's likely a lot of stress hormones and wear and tear on your body and emotional state!)

Nichole, yes, absolutely, small children are a full-time job! And it's not easy what you are doing, so congratulations on hanging in there.