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NonViolent Communication is an excellent thing to use in Permaculture Education

 
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I'd want my child to be in a "Giraffe School" if we were somehow unable to home school.

Has anyone else found NVC useful? I enjoyed listening to Paul's podcast on it, and it has really allowed me to put into action what I've always wanted to especially as a father and a Christian - I can communicate with my family in a way that fully respects them and erases anger, pain and suffering - it's amazing! I don't always have the energy (yet!) to do it but I know how now! Thanks Paul!
 
Mother Tree
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Thanks for sharing that. I've embedded the video below.

 
pollinator
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I think NVC is great and very hard to practice. Like Paul said in his podcast - it is often used as a weapon by people who do not know how to use it correctly yet... (Incl me and my husband TBH). I think that in my home schooling and marriage the most beneficial thing I have learned is "assume good intentions".
 
Matt Powers
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Thanks for posting it for me!!

For me, personally, I was already trying to assume good intentions as part of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but I never understood how empathy worked mechanically. I've only experienced Empathy a few times in my life in a familial context growing up; it was superbly Jackal - politician mom & successful businessman in management father. I just didn't understand the difference between sympathy and empathy outside of the dictionary definition. It was an endless game of Who's Right.

My 8 year old is picking it all up really fast; it's what he's always wanted communication to be like. I use it in my classroom everyday.

I just devoutly wanted to be able to do this for myself since it seems obvious to me that Christ is a master nonviolent communicator; it's the mechanical way we actually accomplish loving our enemies & transcending suffering into joy. It helped me accomplish this need, so I find it very useful.

I also found watching the 3 hr and 9 hr versions helpful. I'm watching the 3 hr one again with my 4 & 8 yr old.
 
pollinator
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I like clear, concise language. To me, if there's no actual threat to life and limb, it's nonviolent. More than one speaker at the community center has used the nonviolent angle to quash dissent when those in the crowd expressed a difference of opinion with that speaker.
 
Matt Powers
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From what I've seen and learned from Marshal Rosenberg's NVC training, it may be different for other trainings, you cannot possibly use it as a weapon; that's not NVC if that is what is happening. It is concise by nature. I also have read and taught On Writing Well that teaches brevity in writing and thinking thoroughly, so maybe that could help.

What do you mean by "community center"? Like in an ecovillage? I think that may be related to what Geoff Lawton calls EgoVillages.
 
Dale Hodgins
pollinator
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It was the Fernwood community center in the city of Victoria. One speaker suggested that a man in the crowd was becoming violent. He had voiced concerns that a meeting had gone way off topic. Posters advertised that the meeting was about GMO foods and labeling. We were treated to a long tirade from a panelist who wanted to have greater funding for abortion clinics. His dissent was not to be tolerated. Accusation is a lazy rhetorical tool that often shuts down debate.
 
Matt Powers
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Wow! That must have been difficult to experience. I have a desire to help us all feel more empathy (joyful connection) that was where this post was coming from.

I am also a public high school teacher (and a charter one too), and I find that most communications in a "normal" high school deny choice and are "violent" in NVC terms. I think the real problem is when we (NVC explorers or those trained) judge other people for being Jackal speakers because that is not NVC. I don't think we are equipped to judge accurately anyone; we are too complex. I also think most religions try to convey this truth. As a high school teacher, being truly nonjudgmental is what we want to be if we are to truly be supportive of all learners equitably. For me it allows me to create empathic structures and experiences in that construct of public education.

Are there no examples of people using NVC positively outside Marshal Rosenberg?
 
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Hello Matt: About NVC, in my teacher training, I introduce NVC over a morning. So its quite a bit of the course. And then I get specific about Language which Works and Language which Doesn't. Actually I start with the negative and test the class and ask them for their reactions to certain phrases.

And we do body behaviour as well. It's a fun class as we role play the negatives and then the positives and talk about how we felt and changed using different language.

It is a necessary part of my tools as a teacher trying to model Care of People. I'd be struggling without it.

Your son is lucky. There's a program called HIPP - Help Improve the Peace which is for school children. It's virtually the same at Alternatives to Violence Program AVP which goes further than language into other tools we have to defuse situations.

That's great Matt.

warmly

Rosemary
 
Matt Powers
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Thank you Rosemary!

I'm checking out HIPP now:
https://afsc.org/resource/help-increase-peace-project-hipp

 
Think of how stupid the average person is. And how half of them are stupider than that. - Carlin But who reads this tiny ad?
All of the video from the Eat Your Dirt Summit
https://permies.com/t/106759/video-Eat-Dirt-Summit
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