"Not Like in the Supermarkets"

Geez I'm cheesed off with my family. Growing our own food is damn hard work for me (17 acres and mainly just me working it without machinery) but generally I enjoy it.  But right now I'm feeling totally demoralised and feel like chucking it all in and just getting a flower pot in the city.

My own children are a bit picky on fruit and veg, like if a strawberry has a concentration of seeds in one bit they won't eat it, or an experiment this year of yellow mange-tout - not liked because they weren't green ones.  But hey they're only 7, 5 and 2.

BUT my sister and her chef husband came here to stay with their two children last week.  I was so excited as I had loads of gorgeous fruit and veg blossoming, many heirloom varieties and yes, some experiments.  But I reckoned that Mr Chef would be keen on tasting and learning too.  How wrong I was!!!  They deemed the cucumbers to be too cucumbery, the peaches they wouldn't eat as the wasps were in the tree and might have walked on the fruit they were about to eat, the home-reared pork was too meaty, the hens eggs had 'mucky bits' on them, and the freshly ground wheat was too grainy in the bread.  They went into town and came back with all the ingredients to make dinner, all refined flours, sugars, crap.  I was angry, disappointed, humiliated and dis-illusioned all at the same time.

Now my boys have hero worshipped their cousins for 5 days and will only eat what they're eating.  My husband isn't a varied fruit and veg eater (apples, carrots, peas in vast quantities, a bit of lettuce, but that's about it) so now I have all these natural goodies and no-one to share them with 

But ... certainly you'll have neighbours to share with ?
Or, even better, customers !

Noone in your family will steal valuable products from the trees (not interested, too small) - that's a big plus in my book

A snooty chef? I wouldn't have believed it.

After your guests leave, if your family gets hungry enough then they will eat. It looks like your two oldest are at the age when they can help with the damn hard work, mine are a bit older but they are put to work all the time. Maybe if they had a hand in producing what they eat, they would be more open to eating it. Don't get discouraged, it sounds like you are doing the right thing, and eventually they may realize that you are doing it for them.

Alison, I sympathize, this is all too common. I know people who think that those luscious, orange egg yolks must have something wrong with them, and besides, they are too thick and buttery. They think strawberries should be the size of small apples, and nearly as crunchy, and you need to eat them with sugar, same as with peaches.

Our heritage is being stolen from us.

I second the idea of getting some customers. I suspect that the kind of people who prefer processed food are also the kind of people who would have more respect for what you grow if people are willing to purchase it. Especially the chef of a good restaurant! And you could afford to hire some part-time help or take on an apprentice.

Also, are there other permies or slow foodies in your area that you can connect with? If you can't get validation for what you're doing from your family, look for it elsewhere. Otherwise, both your gardening and your relationships could suffer.

There are plenty of people who will appreciate what you're doing!

ah food snobbery

sounds familiar

jacque g wrote:
Also, are there other permies or slow foodies in your area that you can connect with? If you can't get validation for what you're doing from your family, look for it elsewhere. Otherwise, both your gardening and your relationships could suffer.

There are plenty of people who will appreciate what you're doing!

Agreed.

I feel for you.  Just reading it felt like a kick in the stomach.  Another reason why I am glad I found Permies - at least you know there is one place you can find someone who understands who you are and what you are doing.

I think they have it backwards.  If I were to lower my food standards, I would eat more commercially processed Brown and Serve Mung, wash it down with a Whatsinit Cola, and munch on hypersalted or wax drooled YumYums for the rest of the night.  I'd also want the stuff packed in plastic, double bagged, and buy only those products that were shipped far enough that my body weight in exhaust is pumped into the air.

lol wasps on the peaches that's a good one.

I think it does take a little time to get used to foods that taste of more than water and sugar, for a lot of people.  You can raise your kids up to like proper food.  You might not be able to retrain your other family members.  Oh well too bad for them, they're missing out on real food.  My husband has gradually learned to eat very strong-tasting vegetables, whole grains, homegrown eggs and chicken.  So it is possible for older folks to change their diet if they want to.  But those who don't want to, never mind!

Can we come and stay with you for a while? My kids would love to eat what your kids won't touch, lol.
Maybe that's it though, find some alternative parents near you and invite them over for a play day or two. If your kids see other kids appreciating the nature and the food, they might see that's it's not just crazy ole mom singing this song.
Best of luck darlin', it'll all come out in the wash these early lessons you're instilling in your littles, I promise.

Is douche bag too strong of a word for this forum? Your city cousins are rude and have no manners. don't let them get you down.
Your kids will appreciate you when they are grown ups......They will cherish all the memories of picking fresh fruit off the tree and be sad when the fruit from the store never tastes as yummy as the fresh stuff.....

Ha!  I love that the cucumbers were too cucumbery and the meat too meaty.  I suppose they rather their food taste like cardboard!

My husband did take a bit to break of the sugary, starchy junk food habit.  In fact, it's a constant battle since that stuff is everywhere.  We are 2 miles from a grocery store and if he is too hungry to cook, he can go grab whatever he wants.  But he does now appreciate all the real food we have in the house.  I hope you continue to impress upon your children what real food tastes like!

*cough*makekidseatpermaculturefoodsorstarve*cough*

All jokes aside, you have my full sympathy. Such situations are all too common. I think that the kids should definitely get better over time (since they will get used to the diet), and even adults adjust over time (as I have seen in my family). It is often hard for people raised on an industrial ag diet to appreciate real food. Don't give up!

Thank you all for your wonderful support and wise words and "coughs".  I'm gonna keep on keeping on as it's what my heart wants to do - and today is a gorgeous sunny day and my bees (on top bar hives) are out early collecting Real Food so I'll go with them 

As long as your squash are not too squashed, you'll do fine.

Quick note of support.  It's hard to go it alone- we evolved in groups, not just "nuclear families"!  I got hope from an above poster stating they were able to get their husband to appreciate stronger-tasting veggies, etc.  With my father, I can not get him to eat a single turnip.  What did I sow seventy-five seeds for?  Chard is too strong, the tomatoes aren't ripening fast enough, the corn is too small (it isn't gmo), etc.

If we are in this for our health, we know we are doing a good deed.  It can be discouraging to have our mental and/or emotional health take a light beating in the meantime, but I suppose we've got to get used to that; helping nature produce food takes its toll physically as well!

When you see your children ten, twenty, fourty years from now, and notice the difference in their physical health and mental/emotional outlook, you will appreciate all of your efforts, I hope.

I grew up in industrial, processed, canned foods.  I wish I'd had a better foundation for life, so if I ever produce any offspring, I know I will try my hardest to give them real food and teach them to appreciate the gifts of our planet!

Wow.  Shame on him!!  He really makes Chefs look bad.  I have trained to be a Chef, but I ended up being a Pastry Chef.  Way more fun.

I would jump at the chance to try all those ingredients, it sounds like he really isn't a creative soul.  Come ON!!!  Too meaty.  What a joke.

Keep it up and fight the good fight.  Sometimes our families aren't on the same page as us, but you have to keep your chin up. 

Tami

Most good chefs share two common traits:

A keen awareness of tastes and flavors, and
A desire to experiment.

Sounds like he is lacking those traits...he's just a cook.

I also can't imagine someone who actually loves and respects food preferring industrial products.
Words are funny things: I cooked professionally in some pretty poncy restaurants and it seemed the fancier the place, the likelier chefs were to insist "I'm just a cook"...
Kind of like an elite fashion designer  saying "i just make nice clothes"!

The last few comments remind me of the Dunning Kruger effect, where the incompetent will rate themselves higher than the competent will 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

I think that fancy 'effect' lets people of the hook a bit.
I think 'false modesty' about covers it

John Polk wrote:
Most good chefs share two common traits:

A keen awareness of tastes and flavors, and
A desire to experiment.

Sounds like he is lacking those traits...he's just a cook.

Yep,

i visited an organic farm specialized in culinary herbs a couple of monthes ago, and they sell to big chiefs in Paris, and these chiefs play with all aspects of culinary herbes (e.g. for mint, their strongness, flavor, visual aspect, etc ... as with Hart's Pennyroyal Mint that looks like rosmarinus)

If it had been me in your place ( and I know I'm not) I would have said something along the lines of:
"There will be NO processed crap foods brought onto this homestead. Period.  If you don't like what is on my table; you need to go stay IN TOWN, and PAY FOR A HOTEL ROOM while you're here.  "

Your relatives were so VERY RUDE to do what they did.  I mean, how hard would it have been for only 5 da*n days to eat "real" ?

And as for feeding your own kids GOOD food... like it's been said....they'll eat when they get hungry....and they will eat the food YOU provide.  Kids can't eat crap if the parents don't/won't get it for them.  Stick to your guns ! 

I would politely inform them that they have no taste and poor manners. Then again, I've been known to be confrontational. 
It's really sad that people don't appreciate real food anymore. Thankfully most of the real chef's I've know relish "new" things. Keep the faith! More and more people are coming around every day!

The flavor of home grown can't be matched by mass produced mono culture food production system fruits/vegetables.  I sypathize and empathize with you.  My children are the same way. My wife is picky also and eats no vegetables.  My grandmother and parents are the only ones to share my veggies with.  Until the food system fails and people are forced to start taking care of themselves, Im afraid most people will be dependant upon the bland produce that is displayed so enticingly on our supermarket shelves.  Even worse and more addictive are the starchy processed foods that are shoved down the throats of our population and have greatly contributed to our obesity epidemic.  Back to the topic though.  I would rather eat organic, non hybrid, GMO free, fruits, vegetables, eggs, and meat, than anything that can be bought at a supermarket.

When I read about cucumbers being too cucumbery, I laughed out loud!  However the more I read, the more I realised what a sad story it was.  I must admit when I have visions of providing a better way of life for my wife and kids, I try and avoid thinking about the fact that maybe they won't share my perspective, and will also lament the fact that it's "not like the in the supermarket".  I see home grown bacon* as a key weapon in my fight - although I had never considered that it might be "too meaty" 

I'll try and make you feel a little better by saying any chef that says stuff from the supermarket is better than fresh is probably not much of a chef (eg: I don't know that I'd rate their opinion).

I think a lifetime of watching sketch comedy has transformed by brain to process information that way, so imagined you responding to your extended family's complaints with this  "Sorry kids, cheeseburger blight took out my entire plantation this year, but it sure looks like we're in for a bumper crop of assholes."





* - Bacon is the single greatest food ever.  In my opinion, the creation of bacon would have been the turning point for human development: "If we can create something this good, we can do anything!"  I think there are three kinds of people in the world: those that have never tried bacon, those that love bacon, and those living in denial of loving bacon 

I got my sister to eat tomatoes! She's a lifelong tomato hater. That's because she never tasted a "black" tomato or a sun gold cherry. Hah! She's hooked now. A case where "Not like in the supermarket" is a good thing.

Snooty chef, point him to McDonalds and tell him to shush if he complains. Set up a small fruit and veg. stand. You do a great and wonderful thing do not let petty shallow people upset you. With a fruit and vegetable stand you will see how quickly you efforts will be valued.