You know you're a permie when...

....when you've patched and darned four pairs of your son's pants (and need to repatch one of them) because the kid actually plays outside, and you'd rather mend them rather than waste resources unnessearily by tossing old clothes and buying new ones.

Nicole Alderman wrote:....when you've patched and darned four pairs of your son's pants (and need to repatch one of them) because the kid actually plays outside, and you'd rather mend them rather than waste resources unnessearily by tossing old clothes and buying new ones.

I can definitely relate! Around our house, our patches have patches!

Amen for patches.


Permie shoutout here- it finally rained, the first rain of spring (I think) after nearly 2 months of drought and I was practically dancing in the yard last night. RAIN! My friends all think I'm nuts. But I started my seeds last week and they need a place to be planted, and my collards and kales were getting thirsty.
One of my favorite songs talks about rain and hope and "the promise of spring". I'm really feeling it this year.

The electrical power grid goes down & you don't even notice.

You have more confidence in your gardens & permafood supply than in the world monetary situation.

You understand that dandelion was intentionally introduced to the US as a food source. According to a study I read a few years ago it's considered 4th best nutrition in the world. Why would anyone kill it, especially with very poisonous chemicals, just why???

A deer or elk walks across the property. You could eat, make clothes, tools, & shelter from it. You don't need any of those things today so you just watch it or take pictures.

You can fairly accurately tell time by the sun & shadows. It often doesn't matter what time it is anyway.

You discover a hole on your property & think it's the perfect place for another hugel.

You almost cry when you learn the first thing the person who bought your previous home did was cut all the trees down. Most of them mature & edible. You almost laugh when you realize he also cut down the shade. Not a smart thing to do in Texas.

You walk right past almost everything in a typical grocery store because you don't need it & wouldn't eat it even if they paid you.

Your bees have a dedicated garden. A healthier & more diverse garden than most people's. Bees don't mind sharing their veggies & herbs.

Many people say you have the best honey they've ever tasted (or in the world) but all you did is not filter out the pollen to hide the true origin &/or to make it prettier.

You get a warm fuzzy because your honey completely cures a lifelong severe allergy sufferer in less than 2 months. Doctors & medications couldn't do it but nature did.

You convince the neighbors to stop having their lawn sprayed with chemicals. You give them some bat houses to help control mosquitoes.

It starts raining it's probably a good time for a free refreshing shower.

You grow a particular thing mostly just to prove it can be done. In my case it's TN Valencia peanuts to demonstrate to the alcoholic local yokel traditional dirt farmer that the state university ag department website knows something. Poke a small hole in the ground & drop a peanut in. Walk away for a few months. Not too difficult.

Someone tries to discuss a television show or actor/actress & you have no clue who or what they're talking about because you haven't owned or watched tv in a dozen or more years.

For some reason the youtube button didn't function so changing it to this link.

You find a use for those polyester sheets you replaced with cotton ones...by throwing them over your squash plants when it begins to hail!

You prepare a calendar for Southern Hemisphere and write equinox and solstice dates as well as space for blossom and graft dates.

Because everything here is upside down

The remnants of a hurricane are arriving at your new home & are excited to finally be able to observe how the water flows during torrential rains.



A tiny frog hangs out on your beans all day so you find the cell phone & actually use it for something.

Mike Barkley wrote:
A tiny frog hangs out on your beans all day so you find the cell phone & actually use it for something.

You know you're a permie (or maybe just an ordinary Luddite) when you don't even own a cell phone. (Not because you can't afford it, but because you don't want one.) And the wall phone you DO have is a cheapie thing you got for 50 cents at the thrift store 10 years ago.

Deb Stephens wrote:
....or maybe just an ordinary Luddite....

....when your Nokia 2126 draws gasps of horror from students and ooohs and aaahs from your peers.....the latter cuz they'd then have an *excuse* for not having GPS or the latest exercise app....   [At this point, it may be appreciating in value and I may pair it with the old dusty rotary phone as a "2-fer Vintage collectible" deal on E-Bay....... ]

Mike Barkley wrote:.... You give them some bat houses to help control mosquitoes.

....or watch dumbstruck, forlorn, and helpless, like one watching a disappearing plane from a deserted island, as the last of the barn swallows wing south....while a new and eager hatch of mosquitoes are buffing up their probosci.... :-(

Mike Barkley wrote:


A tiny frog hangs out on your beans all day so you find the cell phone & actually use it for something.

I did the same thing a month ago when I spotted a frog on our hydrangea! (Post on why we have hydrangeas)



We have trac phone that we bought over a year ago for a long drive. The minutes have all run out, BUT, the thing takes better pictures than the digital camera we bought (which cost even more than the trac phone--go figure), so we use the phone as our camera and that's the only reason we still have the thing!

Excellent points Deb & John.

The bat houses were a compromise with the neighbors & seemed to be the only way to negotiate an end to the constant spraying of toxic chemicals.

Nobody despises cell phones more than me. By profession I was an electro-geek. I got stuck with one of those electronic leashes about 2 seconds after they hit the market. I worked for the big semiconductor manufacturers that make them possible. I know the dangers mentioned deep within the fine print of the owners manuals. I also know the horrific costs (in terms of war & human lives) required to obtain some of the materials they require. The big brother aspects are truly scary too. I got rid of mine as soon as I could & went several years without. Bought another only because my life long friend died & I seriously need to help his kids, who are basically my kids now.

I found the hardest part of not owning a phone is getting anyone else to believe it. It boggles my mind that so called smart phones have dumbed most people down to the point that they can't buy a can of soup without a conference call to their entire family. In my opinion they would be better off downloading a recipe & making it themselves. It won't be much longer until the new phone is sent to recycling heaven.

After many years of being seen as weird, cheap and (mostly gentle) mocking from coworkers and my new boss (all of which made no dent in my resolve), I finally decided to get a smartphone after learning that nearly all my siblings/family have them and they regularly use an app that allows them to chat, exchange pictures, etc.  We weren't disconnected on the little stuff as I had thought based on slow/no email response, they just don't see email as a way to keep in touch for personal things.  I don't have an issue with "being left out" but since I really value my relationships with them, I bought one.  And it's been really great to be goofy with them, ask for help and get quick input (or give it), share pictures from day-to-day life, etc.  We always connected on the big stuff but since we all live in different parts of the country, knowing those little details is really nice.  I don't use my phone for banking, surfing when I'm waiting, etc.  I would rather sit and be present.  And I'm aware of the security risks and lack of privacy with using it for much.

And to be on topic - you know you're a permie when:

you see branches and debris from a windstorm all over the ground at work and immediately want to collect it for hugleculture or compost/soil creation

.. all your "fun money" goes to things like winter work gloves, tree bark guards and canning jars and you don't feel you're missing anything

back on track with unicorns & butterflies .... you know you're a permie when you find a mason jar thread very interesting.

Mike Barkley wrote:back on track with unicorns & butterflies .... you know you're a permie when you find a mason jar thread very interesting.

And when you discover that those plastic lids off used mayonnaise jars fit the regular mouth mason jars perfectly (and don't corrode over time like the metal lids and caps) so you can use the jars to store leftovers and herbs without wasting the canning lids.

Deb Stephens wrote:

Mike Barkley wrote:back on track with unicorns & butterflies .... you know you're a permie when you find a mason jar thread very interesting.

And when you discover that those plastic lids off used mayonnaise jars fit the regular mouth mason jars perfectly (and don't corrode over time like the metal lids and caps) so you can use the jars to store leftovers and herbs without wasting the canning lids.

Yes!  You can't can with them but everything else saves great.

Sonja Draven wrote:

Deb Stephens wrote:

Mike Barkley wrote:back on track with unicorns & butterflies .... you know you're a permie when you find a mason jar thread very interesting.

And when you discover that those plastic lids off used mayonnaise jars fit the regular mouth mason jars perfectly (and don't corrode over time like the metal lids and caps) so you can use the jars to store leftovers and herbs without wasting the canning lids.

Yes!  You can't can with them but everything else saves great.

I make mayo as needed. My mom is borrowing the recipe right now, but it is basically just eggs, olive oil, and some acidic liquid (citrus, vinegar, kraut brine... all works fine). Sometimes I use it as a base for other sauces like salad dressing, other times I add garlic and ancho chilies. When my doctor recommended avoiding dairy for a month, I used it to replace sour cream on my tacos. It wasn't half bad.

When you look at the snails chomping your greens  and your revenge plan starts with googling “snail NPK value”.

when you see the snails chomping your greens and you google 'how to cook escargot'

... a stranger randomly shows up at the monthly bee meeting to offer free elderberry plants. You're the only one who accepts his offer. Then he asks how many (thousands) do you want? Just posted his awesome tasting flu medicine recipe in the healing with food forum. Excuse me while I go buy the winning lottery ticket!!!

A survey of acquaintances, as to where they would go if SHTF, is your place....

When a friend gets stung by one of your bees and you are mad because you have one less bee.

You think someone else might be somewhat interested to see the first Seminole pumkin of this year's harvest.

You spend a few minutes apologizing to the new elderberry plant you accidentally beheaded today while preparing a new bee location for next year. "Sorry elderberry. I forgot you were there. I was trying to remove some undergrowth to make a garden for the next apiary. Will be more careful with the machette next time. I see you still have a stump with a green leaf or two so maybe you'll survive. If not, the first toast from the first batch of elderberry wine will be to you on this very spot. I'll bring you an extra cowpie & extra water after I finish planting your friends."

The folks at the big ag co-op stop recognizing you as the new weirdo in dinkytown who always requests organic things they normally don't stock. They start giving you free Charlie Brown-ish plants that nobody else wants. They gradually start asking for help with other customers problems they can't solve with chemicals.

Your old morning routine used to be waking to an electric alarm clock then slamming as much coffee down while getting dressed in uncomfortable suits & ties. Then getting stuck in traffic or waiting in long lines at the airport. The new morning routine is waking when the sun & your body damn well feels like it then casually drinking or eating something you actually want before a casual hike through zone 5 looking for mushrooms & completely enjoying nature. Followed by a brief visit to the cow water hole to collect old cowpies before the bull & his harem arrives. The new routine is much preferable!!!

You think a fun companion to this thread would be WHY you are a permie.

Mike and Wayne - great additions.  

Mike, why don't you start that thread?

Truthfully, I'm a little scared to do that. I could get really mad at bad guys & too political immediately. I try to be nice.

When you're trying to figure out why your back hurts, and you don't head to the doctor straight away for a solution but instead look at what you're doing in your life that might be causing said backpain, by altering one or two things at a time to find the causes (for me, it was my shoes, so I've gone minimal shoes, and my backpack, so I just carry a bag in my hands, while considering learning the art of furoshiki).

You worry that your humanure might not contain the right  minerals for your plants 😁

Mike Barkley wrote:Truthfully, I'm a little scared to do that. I could get really mad at bad guys & too political immediately. I try to be nice.

I understand this.  Sometimes I have to focus on the "if you can't say something nice, don't say something at all" motto and just bow out of threads.  Or another way of saying it, "not my monkey, not my circus."  This isn't my circus and I'm grateful for Paul making it so I can ask questions, watch and sometimes throw peanuts.  ;)  I know I won't change anyone with my opinions of them.  And I realize everything posted is filtered and without the in person interactions we're only getting a small piece of each other anyway.

You go out to put the trash can to the curb, see an awesome orb web hooked between it and the gutter, and say "not like I make much trash anyways, and I got it out a few weeks ago!"  Yay spiders!

Mike Barkley: if I make the thread will you not get banned for posting in it? :) Not sure I'm up for another thread that ends up in cider press...

Natasha Abrahams wrote:You worry that your humanure might not contain the right  minerals for your plants 😁

You want to make a composting toilet, only for US, I don't want most people adding their toxins to my humanure! Eeew! You ate WHAT? Not on MY potty!!! Go use the bathroom at the gas station.

And Natasha, does that lead to supplementing your diet with the right things so your plants like it better?  

Yes, Pearl. I could play nice if someone else started that thread.

You know you're a permie when ... you gave away all of your silverware at the beginning of downsize mode. Now you have one fork & one spoon. Plus a spork in each of your backpacks.

... the co-op is becoming a place for entertainment. Returned some alfalfa seed today because I discovered they had fungicide & Allegiance added. Bought some daikon radish & rape seed instead. The manager & what appeared to be a big ag dirt farmer were discussing a broken plow. Naturally I took the opportunity to mention I was using these instead of a plow & chemical fertilizers. Had to explain it to them. Trying hard to get them all to understand.

One more: When a friend gives you an Armenian Cucumber, and is stunned when you tell her it's actually a cantaloupe, not a cucumber. So she lets one get too big, and wow! Smells like a melon... But the best part is...

When you come home from running errands and are all happy because there is a huge Armenian Cuke with rot on it on your porch! YAY! She remembered I wanted a good ripe one to save the seeds from!!

I dance at a rotting cucumber! (That is technically a melon.)

And let the (Polite!) games begin... Why did you become a Permie?

lol Pearl :) I shall have to go ask the plants what they like

Natasha Abrahams wrote:lol Pearl :) I shall have to go ask the plants what they like

I think this whole thought sums up as:
You know you are a permie when you choose your food intake based on what nutrients the plants that get your humanure need.
:D

... Mrs. Groundhog who lives under the barn is no longer terrified on sight of me. We can now chill out about 50 feet from each other. I'm fairly certain she's also helping with my soil improvement project by digging small holes in the future garden areas every night. Perfect place to add compost each day. We're good unless she turns into a psycho groundhog like I encountered in the wild a few years ago. That one had serious issues. A few folks had warned me about that one. They were right.

... you realize the only way you'll ever be able to eat your own chickens is to raise many more. All of the same breed & color. That's the only way some really nice ladies won't be able to name or keep track of them all. They can have their feathered friends, I'll have dinner.

... it's finally time to learn more about mushrooms. Both growing them & foraging for wild ones. Seeing some very tasty looking ones lately but my obituary will say "eaten by a bear" or "saved an elderly lady from being mugged" not "killed by a fungus". That just wouldn't be right.

You know you're a permie when you save the blood from your chicken harvest and dry it in the sun to supplement new plantings :)    

Laughing at Barkley's advice to get more chickens if you want to eat your own - it's true!    I'm still not used to killing and have to bag the head right away to stop the anxiety before proceeding with butchering.   Eventually maybe I'll figure out a way to use the head and toenails in my system - just put in the compost I suppose.

You feel sorry for the guy in front of you at the checkout line, who's buying organic eggs, because you know they're not even close to your home grown pastured ones.

A tiny frog hangs out on your beans all day so you find the cell phone & actually use it for something.

I finally told my husband he could buy me a cell phone, but only if he chooses one with the best rating on its camera. My sisters complain that their small digital cameras don't work for long, but phone cameras seem to do much better and they're small enough I can carry one with me to the field and garden.

When property inspectors leave after inspecting nothing but the gardens you've so proudly pointed out and lectured them on.

When you justify paying a bit higher price than you prefer for pluots at the grocery store, because hey, seed stock! And on that same thought: when you get excited because your mom comes home from out of town and brings you gifts: Peach pits from some really good peaches she had! YAY!!