JOMO - Joy of Missing Out

JOMO is sort of the antidote to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) which poisons a lot of people's finances.

This piece, written by a credit counsellor with a non-profit society, resonates well with my philosophy of money and "stuff."
https://financialpost.com/personal-finance/debt/never-heard-jomo-cure-fomo

Excerpts:

"The Joy of Missing Out helps you find contentment in living within your means and making financial choices that align with your goals.  ... By embracing JOMO, you stop comparing yourself to others and focus on what truly makes you happy. Instead of chasing fleeting validation through spending, you cultivate a mindset of financial peace and personal fulfillment.

Social media is a major driver of FOMO, so conducting a social media audit can help. Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel inadequate and curate your feed with content that aligns with your values, such as positivity, personal growth and financial wisdom. ... Off-line, surround yourself with like-minded people who value financial responsibility and frugal living. Having a supportive community makes it easier to embrace JOMO and find contentment in your choices.

Ultimately, JOMO isn’t about what you are giving up. It is about the freedom, control, safety, relief, peace of mind and happiness you are gaining."

BTW anybody who knows of Mr. Money Mustache will already be aligned with this.

Personally I would rename JOMO as the "Joy of Placidly Dodging the Bullets of the Stupid Marketing Machine Gun with a Gentle Smirk on my Face." It's a lousy acronym. Picture the Neo slow-motion bullet dodge dance in The Matrix. I see you now ...

  "Ultimately, JOMO isn’t about what you are giving up. It is about the freedom, control, safety, relief, peace of mind and happiness you are gaining."

yes! so true!

thanks for posting this

I don't know Douglas, JPDBSMMGGSF isn't that bad an acronym (technically it would be an initialism)

Mike Haasl wrote:I don't know Douglas, JPDBSMMGGSF isn't that bad an acronym (technically it would be an initialism)

But it may be vocalized by using linguistic rules of some of the lost tribes that had no vowels in their language.....Perhaps? :-)

From the article:
"When FOMO strikes, give yourself a cooling-off period. For some, a few hours is enough; for others, 48 hours works better to decide if you really need the item and if it will add long-term value to your life."

My version of this is to fill my on-line cart over several weeks, never actually hittiing the "buy" button until I feel it's really necessary. Then I methodically go through the cart and place unnecessary items back on the virtual shelves.  Seems to have worked pretty well so far.....but not perfect. :-/

But agreed that sometimes one needs to recalibrate one's vision to see the value and peace of mind in ova-crypto vs an uptown condo.... :-)

There is a certain amount of pleasure one can get with knowing how much one saves by mending or making do. Or like not buying a lottery ticket - a win every week!
I too don't like the acronym. I don't feel I am missing out.... Maybe we can make an acronym out of THRIFT? - The Happiness Received In Frugal Tastes

I know I've kinda gone the other way in that I have fear of paying full price. I do love the hunt of finding what I want/need, at the lowest possible price and highest quality.
It helps that I try to be open to at least a few options for things and don't get too hung up on anything being exactly a specific colour/style. It doesn't need to be perfect either. Minor repairs or changes are usually something I can manage so that makes it even easier. I'm also willing to wait. ( I get that waiting isn't always an option lots of the time, but it's also, often, worth trying since it can be easier to manage than you might expect and it gives you time to be sure about what you really want and need)

We buy almost nothing except food/medicine/toiletries new. The quality levels on most older furniture, fabrics and other goods is generally higher than new and the prices can be pennies on the dollar. What's not to love?

I'll preface this by pointing out that my take on this is in a decidedly US American context, and may not apply so much to other places in the western world, to say nothing of the two-thirds world.  I know paying off mortgages early doesn't work the same over the water as it does here in the US.

A good 15 years ago (it may have been closer to 20, in truth) my wife and I decided that we needed to get our financial house in order.

Though we earlier made some progress by other means, we really made good headway once we began to follow the Dave Ramsey debt snowball method.  I know that there are plenty of other approaches to doing this, some of which offer theoretically shorter pay down periods (assuming, for example, that ones income remains predictably consistent - but part of what prompted us to de-leverage our lifestyle was my on-again off-again employment in what was historically a cyclical industry).  I am not a rabid Dave Ramsey fanboy, but it has worked out well for us.  We've coordinated several "Financial Peace University" sessions for others, as well.  If you aren't "into" his particular religious persuasion (some form of non-mainline Protestant, as best I can tell), I think you could overlook that, and take his Biblical quotes as merely a distillation of collective socio-historical wisdom.  In practical terms, the progress would be the same, even if you couldn't buy into the philosophical (spiritual) motivation.  I do think his readily implementable structure, which gives some psychological reinforcement along the way, combined with a perceptible (even if gradual) reduction in the "nut" which one has to make each and every month - definitely comforting in uncertain times - probably contributes to better follow-through with the run of the mill American consumer, over approaches with payment schedules that are theoretically financially better, if only slightly so.  There are methods which use credit cards to more quickly pay off secured loans, and I suspect that those will work if you have the willpower to follow through, as well.  Again, the Dave Ramsey method has worked out well for us - nothing fancy, just common sense and persistence - though your mileage may vary.

At any rate, in retrospect, we did embrace something akin to JOMO.

It is admittedly much easier where we live (rural northwoods) than it might be in keeping-up-with-the-Joneses Big City suburbia, because almost no one lives very high on the hog, here.  Wood heat is very common.  Fancy cars are remarkable, and will get you pegged as a "tourist"; pickup trucks and family cars are the order of the day.  High fashion is a new winter coat.  Or, for me, a new pair of Dickies carpenter pants.  To each his own.  It is very difficult to find a restaurant offering anything over $30 a plate, and most are under half of that, and you'll probably take a box home for tomorrow's lunch for that price.  Our neighbor works for not much above minimum wage at Tractor Supply, and is best friends with a local attorney's wife; they are both into horses - that's probably their common ground - but class distinctions just seem to be flatter around here.

We bought a fixer upper repossessed house (in an even cheaper area), sold the previous house (at a slight loss), and significantly downsized our mortgage (less than half the principal, and the monthly payments were less than 1/3, with much lower taxes - fewer services, but lower taxes to match).  We had a 15 year term on the new mortgage, and paid it off in about 8.  The one and only debt we have remaining is a very small one on a piece of raw land.  We could pay it off at any time from savings (it really is a trivial amount), but are "keeping our powder dry", so to speak.  We still make double and triple payments on that last mortgage, and it is shrinking fast.

Our vices now consist primarily of books, tools, gardening and exercise related items, and charitable contributions when needs come to our attention.  A lot of the "vices" come second hand.  I (over)built a storage shed last fall - still a few details to complete, and a metal roof to put on it this spring, over the temporary synthetic roofing underlayment which I stapled down before the weather turned - so that used some cash reserves, but I bought supplies every Saturday as I needed them, for the coming week or two, with money we had.  If I hadn't built the shed, then the land would have been free and clear with that money. (Did I mention that I overbuilt the shed?  But, I'm hoping I won't have to do it twice!  It stood up to this winter's snow loads with only occasional attention.)  It was a choice, which to do - build the shed or pay off the land mortgage.  If I were Dave Ramsey, then I would have paid off the mortgage first, but Dave Ramsey doesn't live where it snows nearly 300 inches in a "good" winter - and maybe 350 in a "bad" one - either.  Storing stuff at the raw land saves wear and tear shuttling things back and forth between home and the land.  Eventually, the shed could be livable accommodations for someone, if necessary, and was built so that it could become a 4-season structure if that is ever required.  This year's project list includes a greenhouse, a pole structure for our little camper at the raw land (so it can stay out there all winter, with no worry about snow load), and - if all goes according to Hoyle - a timber framed garage-cum-shop at the in town house.  But, all from cash on hand, with a lot of sweat equity.

My daily driver (1994 2WD Ford Ranger, about 160,000 miles on the clock) is getting a little ragged.  I may rebuild or re-power my dad's old 2007 Subaru Forester to replace it (the Soob popped its timing belt - a common lament - with as-yet unknown internal damage).  Preparatory to this potential project, I picked up a small used engine stand for $20 from one of the local automotive garages.  It's light duty, but would be fine for a Subaru, maybe even an aluminum small block Chevy, and I couldn't go wrong at the price, though it's far from perfect.  The Subaru will be (much) better in the snow than the Ranger, so is very tempting (I was unable to get up the hill to church this AM in the Ranger, due to a band of lake effect snow that was dumping like a split feather pillow - discretion being the better part of valor, I just turned around gingerly on the hill, and crept slowly and carefully back down with minimal sliding and slithering, and then groped my way back homeward at 30 mph, feeling for the rumble strips and watching what's left of the snow banks on my right hand side to gauge where I was in the traffic lane).  The Subaru is still capable of towing a small utility trailer (whether to move a garden tractor, some mulch, a bit of firewood, or a tiller).  The Ranger isn't much of a work truck, anyway (it's geared awfully high - 3.73 rear end, with a manual 5 speed), and I do have a 1994 K3500 for "real truck" stuff - though it's no cream puff at this point, but handsome is as handsome does.  If I do rehab the Forester, I'll probably pass the Ranger on to my nephew if he wants it, since he is starting a small market garden (third year, this summer season).  He's a pretty competent mechanic thanks to our local career and technical education program, so I don't feel too badly about giving him a "deal", even if it means putting some knuckle skin into it from time to time.

We did take a vacation last summer, the first one in quite a while.  We visited our son in Utah, and went hiking in the Wasatch and spent a couple of days at Dinosaur National Monument, looking at remnants of critters long past and Fremont Culture rock art.  We rented an Air BnB, and cooked in for most breakfasts and dinners, and packed a cooler with lunch supplies.  When in Vernal, we found the local diner, and ate there, at local prices (scones in Utah weren't what we were expecting, but they were homemade, and very tasty!).  But, it wasn't a Vegas vacation, and it wasn't a stay at some all-inclusive Caribbean hot spot.  I'm sure that's "fun", but it's just not our kind of fun.  Maybe it never was, but it certainly isn't now.

We would never have been able to do these sorts of things if we hadn't gotten our "poop in a group", financially.  Our life is much more peaceful, now.

You can adjust your preferences and desires, though it may require some radical lifestyle changes, re-assessing "friendships" and the basis for them, even taking short-term financial losses for longer term gains (we sold a nice house [with a dandy garage!] at a small loss, but have never looked back - it was the right choice).

So, JOMO or whatever you choose to call it, and by whatever means, it is well worth doing.  I wish we'd started on the project 10 years earlier than when we did, but I'm glad we did it.

Nancy Reading wrote: Or like not buying a lottery ticket - a win every week!

Homiletics to choristers, here, but that certainly resonates with me.  "The fastest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket."

I once worked with a man who had two full-time jobs, but was driving around with his snowmobile in the back of his pickup truck to make it more difficult for the bank to repossess the snowmobile for non-payment of the loan. Not so sure if he was "current" on the truck payments, either.   As soon as he'd get paid - we were working at a grocery store, stocking shelves on the night shift (yes, I was a "night stocker" - for an extra $1/hour!) - he'd take his pay check down to the service counter and buy lottery tickets with it.  With the "winnings" - i.e. the crumbs - he'd buy more lottery tickets, and so on until his check was gone by the time for our lunch break.  Every week, week after week (yup, we were paid weekly, there), it was the same story.  I tried to explain to him about negative expectancy games and the house "vigorish", but he'd just reply "If you don't play, you can't win".  My retort "If you don't play, you've won already" seemed to ring hollow to him.  He always held out hope for his "big win".

He's a line cook, now, at one of our local restaurants.  The years have not been kind to him, and I don't think he's much better off than when I worked with him 30 years ago.  I did try to help him, but he's one of those examples which illustrates that "the lottery is a tax on those who do poorly at mathematics".  Maybe it wasn't really a math problem, but something deeper, I don't know.  I've talked to him a couple of times recently, but I don't think he actually remembers me - I think he was just being polite when I tried to remind him that we'd worked together so long ago - though I've never forgotten him.  Poor fella.

We bought an old farmhouse "in the middle of nowhere". With old I mean ancient - or authentic. No running water inside (1 tap outside), three light bulbs, two chimneys (both out of order) and a leak in the roof. A pot of saved money  (looking for income at the moment). In June it'll be 2years.

BUT. No loans. Plenty of inspiration and happiness from:
- giving the house tons of TLC (tender loving care)
- the motto "everything is there already!" materializing in front of our eyes
- the exhilirating thrill of instinctively finding great connections of reciprocal ... wow, so many difficult words. The neighbors are great. We help eachother out. The local sawmill boss is a super great&cool guy and the connection is prescious. We've found more great friends. Happy!
- self sustaining. Tastier. Cheaper. More nutritious. Satisfactory. Costs time and focus but the result is x times more than the time & focus one invests.
- we absolutely love; eachother. this place. this lifestyle. the developments. Life. Wow.

/rant

On occasion I have picked up some absolutely cool trinket in a big box store and carried it around for 10 minutes -- and then put it back on the shelf. I only needed to "possess" it for 10 minutes to get the dopamine hit. If I do buy it despite the little voice in my head that says "not sure you really need this" I'll refrain from opening the package for a couple of days. That makes it easy to return, and since it's a big box store I have as much loyalty to them as they do to me.

Nina Surya wrote:We bought an old farmhouse "in the middle of nowhere". With old I mean ancient - or authentic. No running water inside (1 tap outside), three light bulbs, two chimneys (both out of order) and a leak in the roof. A pot of saved money  (looking for income at the moment). In June it'll be 2years.

BUT. No loans. Plenty of inspiration and happiness from:
- giving the house tons of TLC (tender loving care)
- the motto "everything is there already!" materializing in front of our eyes
- the exhilirating thrill of instinctively finding great connections of reciprocal ... wow, so many difficult words. The neighbors are great. We help eachother out. The local sawmill boss is a super great&cool guy and the connection is prescious. We've found more great friends. Happy!
- self sustaining. Tastier. Cheaper. More nutritious. Satisfactory. Costs time and focus but the result is x times more than the time & focus one invests.
- we absolutely love; eachother. this place. this lifestyle. the developments. Life. Wow.

/rant

Sounds idyllic.

Early in our marriage, I read Frances Mayes' "Under the Tuscan Sun" to my wife.  We still love a good "chateau" rescue series in the long, dark winter evenings.  Our fixer upper project wasn't anything like as involved as those - most of the mechanicals were functional, and the roof didn't leak!  It was still a lot of work, mostly cosmetic really, but nothing like the scope of what you are describing.

Thanks for sharing your labor of love with us!

Kevin Olson wrote:

Sounds idyllic.

Early in our marriage, I read Frances Mayes' "Under the Tuscan Sun" to my wife.  We still love a good "chateau" rescue series in the long, dark winter evenings.  Our fixer upper project wasn't anything like as involved as those - most of the mechanicals were functional, and the roof didn't leak!  It was still a lot of work, mostly cosmetic really, but nothing like the scope of what you are describing.

Thanks for sharing your labor of love with us!

Thank you Kevin for your appreciation! Yes, it's a lot of work, but we're learning fast, don't need a gym subscription and are literally building a Home, very rewarding.
I'm also finding great solutions here on Permies; from compost toilets to rocket mass heaters. This years "biggies" will be a gray water filtering pond, the upgrade to our rocket mass heater and fixing a 2nd leaky roof, that of our shed.
I keep on saying I should do a before and after photo thread, but nothing is 100% finished yet so... I'll be saving that for the future.

Douglas Alpenstock wrote:On occasion I have picked up some absolutely cool trinket in a big box store and carried it around for 10 minutes -- and then put it back on the shelf. I only needed to "possess" it for 10 minutes to get the dopamine hit. If I do buy it despite the little voice in my head that says "not sure you really need this" I'll refrain from opening the package for a couple of days. That makes it easy to return, and since it's a big box store I have as much loyalty to them as they do to me.

I did succumb to a new Imusa mokka pot yesterday.  I'd eyed it up last week, stewed on it for the week, then took the plunge and bought it.  We have a cast aluminum one, of unknown manufacture, which is more-or-less functional, but is a bear to clean.  The inside of the water chamber is unconscionably rough, and the upper coffee chamber is only somewhat smoother.  The cheap plastic handle hasn't broken, but always feels like it might.  And, it's aluminum.  I guess I'm not quite as "allergic" to aluminum as some people - meaning, I don't find its use in cookware entirely repugnant and contrary to good health - but I'm, at best, rather ambivalent about it, and have been slowly switching over to cast iron and stainless cookware.  That may all be more rationalization than reason, however, for this purchase.

Whether I waited sufficiently long to make a "wise" decision, time will tell.  Mostly, it hinges on how the mokka pot holds up in the long run, I suppose.  It does make coffee, so that's a start.  It can be easily washed up - it's spun stainless, smooth inside and out.  The handle is much less chintzy-feeling, though it does place ones knuckles a bit closer to the pot body.  It does get hot a lot quicker than the aluminum one, though it also holds slightly less water.  I probably don't need (even) more coffee, so that may not be a serious downside.

I did manage to avoid bringing home a hand cranked meat grinder with 2 sizes of sausage stuffer snouts, for the princely sum of $10.  It purported to be tin plated cast iron, but it was obviously cheaply made in China.  The box was vigorously taped shut, so to inspect, I would have had to cut the tape, and there was some sticker slapped on it offering dire warnings regarding open packages, and what would or would not be sold, and under what conditions.  This was at a Goodwill, where those stickers are pretty well standard issue.  I could see at least one sausage stuffer snout through a hole in the side of the box.  I already have a big vintage tinned hand-cranked meat grinder, in addition to a bunch of smaller hand cranked food chopper gizmos, but no sausage stuffer snouts, at the moment.  I've never made sausage, but my sister just made and handed out copies of a cookbook with family heirloom recipes, including a recipe for Swedish potato sausage, which I fondly remember eating at holidays at my grandmother's house - very peppery! - (along with buttered rye crisp, summer sausage and cheese), which potato sausage I've consequently now been entertaining making, in a fit of nostalgia.  I'll probably regret passing up that grinder at some point in the future, if only for the stuffer snouts.  Like you, I picked, and then later put back, several other items, but I managed to leave that store with only a used copy of Betty Edwards's "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" as a gift for my nephew ($5).

Whew!  Danger narrowly avoided!  Mostly!

Let's call that trip to town a "mixed success"!

Haha, not every purchase works out. In charity thrift shops you have to grab it before it's gone. Since it supports a charity I don't sweat it too much, even if sometimes it's a dud. This is a donation to causes I support, and at least I didn't pay retail. I may even donate the thing back!

JOMO is an anagram of MOJO. MOJO is good. I can always use more MOJO.

I stumbled on this recently, which seems to fit in this thread...

Douglas Alpenstock wrote:Haha, not every purchase works out. In charity thrift shops you have to grab it before it's gone. Since it supports a charity I don't sweat it too much, even if sometimes it's a dud. This is a donation to causes I support, and at least I didn't pay retail. I may even donate the thing back!

Oh, yes, I've done that before, too!  Or, perhaps worse, buy a plastic bag of miscellany (also with the warning label about opened packages, etc.), pick out the one or two items I want, and donate the rest back to them at the back door before I ever even leave the parking lot!  But, as you say, they got something out of it, and it is a good cause.  Lather, rinse, repeat for them.

In this case, I am replete with grinders, and have been challenged to give away the current surplus to friends and neighbors.  I'll find some stuffer snouts to fit my quality vintage grinder, for the win.  Or, if one shows up at the right price, a vintage dedicated stuffer.  A couple of months ago, one of the local antique shops had two stuffers, each a different mechanism (one a lever action with hinged follower, the other more of a small cider or wine press, but with a stuffer snout) but at "antique" prices - too high to be a serious temptation.  Even though the second one could have been used as a cheese press or fruit press, I'm pretty certain - more bang for the buck - it was still awfully high for a tightwad like me.  I've bought hand tools from him before at my kind of prices, but for tools that weren't "antique" wall-hanger grade - rusty Witherby socket chisels, a timber carrier and the business end of a cant hook, that sort of thing, which aren't exactly his stock in trade - but were still perfectly serviceable; these stuffers were both priced pretty high, so I had no great temptation, there.  He also has a manual track drill on offer, a sort of portable drill press for drilling railroad rail to join two lengths together; it's in beautiful condition, appears to be all original, and is also priced accordingly.  I have no need of it, though it is a fascinating piece of equipment.  A blacksmith's post drill or leg vise at a reasonable price, on the other hand, might follow me home.  There is a post in my cellar with a post drill's name on it, already!

But, I was (briefly) sorely tempted by the grinder at Goodwill.  It passed, however.

Nina Surya wrote:Yes, it's a lot of work, but we're learning fast, don't need a gym subscription and are literally building a Home, very rewarding.

I can't count how many times I've said something similar - "that's why people didn't need gym memberships back in the day!".

Nina Surya wrote:I keep on saying I should do a before and after photo thread, but nothing is 100% finished yet so... I'll be saving that for the future.

Well, if your projects go anything like mine, they're never (ever!) 100% done.  Even if the current stage is "complete," there will be more to do. "Job security" as they say!

Good post, food for thought.  I try and do strategies like:
Pretend that I own the shop and everything in it is already mine, hold it and look at it and put it back on the shelf.
When my husband wants to buy some new thing, have him wait a few weeks and then buy it if he still really wants it.

Kevin, I think it was Dave Ramsey I listened to on cassettes many years back.  Best thing ever.  We got completely out of debt minus the house.  Then I moved on from a travel nursing job and they sent me a letter saying how bad an idea it was to cash in a 401k.  I was like, "I can do that???"  That was 2008 just before the crash.  We lost soooo much less in taxes than we would have if we left the 401k alone.  I paid off the house and bought some celebratory linen yarn (made a stellar skirt).  I have had so much less stress in my life because of those two factors.  Like many here, I am sure, I do have a weakness for gardening supplies, seeds and books.  

For me, FOMO is the time I spend away from family and JOMO is time away from work practising THRIFT!

5 years ago I took an unsecured 5yr loan at a very reasonable rate and we quit our jobs in the UK for unemployed freedom in Spain. We loaded our lives into a pickup and horse trailer - most of which was salvaged items we knew we would need to convert a barn into a house. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision and we knew that I would have to work part time to pay the loan.  We had been looking at property  for 2 years while on holiday in Spain and we had narrowed down our area. We had a short list to view and were confident that we would select one of those. Unfortunately, covid meant everyone was looking for a cheap country location to escape lockdown! Our list dwindled to zero. Fortunately we found a really cheap place to rent -but living still cost money and we had nearly run out of our savings after a year. We had agreed that we would not spend the loan on living- we'd rather return to the UK, return the loan and try again at a later date.
Thankfully, right at the end of our resources we found land within budget with a warehouse on it. But by using up our savings meant we had nothing for renovations.

I had to work in the UK for  just over 5 months a year but it was split into 2 periods and I still had more than 50% JOMO time. Over the years, as budget allowed, we've changed that warehouse into 3 separate dwellings for 3 generations of family to co- habit. I'm no angel, I can't live in the same home space with my mom!). We lived without electricity for 2 years, without running water or plumbing for 3 and still live without hot running water now. Every purchase was thoughtfully considered. Advantages of temporary fixes were weighed up against waiting for a more durable solution that cost more than we had.

We wouldn't change it for the world.

Next month is freedom month- last payment on the loan and I don't need to leave home to work in the UK for 6 weeks in Sept/Oct!

I still work away from home for 4 months and I miss Spring blossoming and planting season, but I now get 8 months of JOMO time. As we learn to be more self sufficient and avoid everything the world says we "must have!" that should increase to 100% JOMO time.

I think JOMO is fantastic, but I've become rather protective of 'my attention' in the last handful of years.

When I started looking at the things that were clawing for my attention, including some people, most of them were extractive in nature.  Whether it was advertising, or shows, or news, or politicians, or parasocial interactions on social media, most of them wanted to take and want to use gimmicks and negative emotions or engagement to hook me and extract what they want.

Apologies, that's a bit ranty, but it is the core of my point.  Let me turn it around and put it a different way.  With the breadth of options available, we MUST miss out.  The WHOLE WORLD is out there.  Eight billion people all living and doing things.  If we tried to FOMO all of it, it would grind us into nothing.  With the very limited capabilities of one mind, why wouldn't we high-grade and focus on the things that make us the most fulfilled.

Dave Lucey wrote:When I started looking at the things that were clawing for my attention, including some people, most of them were extractive in nature.  Whether it was advertising, or shows, or news, or politicians, or parasocial interactions on social media, most of them wanted to take and want to use gimmicks and negative emotions or engagement to hook me and extract what they want.

"For one who has not lived even a single lifetime, you are a wise man, Van Helsing."