A stupid fear getting in my way

Alright! Time for a first post after lurking without an account for a while!

This is going to be a very novice, very city dweller post. I've only recently started gardening, and frankly my attempt over the past year has been a little halfhearted.

And one of the reasons for that halfheartedness is very silly.

I am truly disgusted and revolted by worms. I know logically they are a wonderful thing for the soil and I should be forever thankful they are there, but I haven't been able to get over my immediate negative reaction to them. I usually have to take breaks when doing any kind of digging just so I can get away from them for a moment.

Does anybody else have an issue like this? Any solutions? At least some commiseration?

Sounds like no till gardening would be very beneficial to you.

This might means with this method folks might not see any worms.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-till_farming

https://permies.com/t/65316#555975

https://permies.com/t/176994/planting-cover-crop

Hi Maggie, welcome to permies!

I can't say I get the same reaction, except occasionally when I stumble over a very big earthworm, which sets off an alarm in my head screaming SNAKE! It just lasts for a split second, and consciously I know it's not a snake, but this has made me jump a couple of times. I guess it's hardwired into our genes to some extent.

Not liking to see worms seems like it might be a good reason to do no-dig gardening. And maybe focusing more on seed and leaf crops, rather than root crops? How about planting lots of fruit and nut trees? Plant them once, and you never need to turn the soil again.

Edit: Anne beat me to the no-till/no-dig advice!

Maggie Teller wrote:

I am truly disgusted and revolted by worms. ... I usually have to take breaks when doing any kind of digging just so I can get away from them for a moment.

Does anybody else have an issue like this? Any solutions? At least some commiseration?

Sounds like you need to research no-dig gardening! I pretty much never dig any more, unless I'm planting a tree.

Here are a few threads you might find interesting...

No Dig Organic Home & Garden by Charles Dowding

Growing no-dig potatoes

Benefits of No-Dig Gardening - Why Do No-Dig Gardening?

Another thought, from a different angle: My partner did hypnosis, and it helped her (mostly) get rid of her fear of spiders. Maybe that could work?

Eino Kenttä wrote:Another thought, from a different angle: My partner did hypnosis, and it helped her (mostly) get rid of her fear of spiders. Maybe that could work?

My Daughter in law (DiL) dated my son for many years, and at the beginning, her fear of spiders was practically paralyzing (although not as bad as the time somehow a squirrel got into her apartment and she *TOTALLY FREAKED OUT*.

So first off - no, it is not a "stupid fear".  Somehow, in your brain, that fear was triggered and allowed to sit there, and depending on exactly how severe it is, it may deserve the label "phobia" which might actually require a professional to help you with. But definitely not fair or nice for you to label yourself, as the person coping with the fear, "stupid".  Only you can decide how deeply set the fear is, vs where the "I am truly disgusted and revolted by worms." bit takes over.

How to help you overcome your feeling through a computer interface is tricky. My son spent a lot of time reassuring my DiL, bought her a long handled insect catcher so she could gradually get to the point of being able to catch the spiders and move them outdoors, and gradual exposure to the real world on our homestead (chickens, ducks, lots of bugs), have brought her a long way, but it was gradual and took time.

I would suggest that reminding yourself daily intellectually about how important a job the worms do may help. I suspect you're not at the point where you would see the suggestion of building your own 'worm farm' to get to know your worms as pets (very ugly pets exist), would be doable. (But can you even imagine people having worms as pets? Can you accept in your brain, that other people talk to their worms while they re-locate them out of danger in their garden? That we genuinely see them as our garden helpers? Or do thoughts like that frighten, disgust, or defeat you at this time?)

Maggie, you are not alone, and you are not crazy. I believe your description of your feelings. My DiL has come along so well, but she's had lots of support and encouragement getting there, so I believe you can get there too, and this thread is a great place to start and getting yourself more comfortable around worms seems like a wonderful winter project that will help you prepare yourself for next year's gardening season.

Help us help you set some goals you feel you can achieve, just as you would for any other skill. I believe you can find a way, with support, and I, and others on permies, are here to support you with cheers and ideas!

You could plant in straw bails, or get into hydroponics or aquaponics (hydroponics used just water and nutrients while aquaponics incorporates fish among other things)

I would suggest buying a box of nitrile (surgical) gloves.  They have a better feel than latex and you will not have the same sensory experience touching dirt, worms or 'ick'.  You will be able to peel off the gloves anytime you feel gross and be clean and back to normal.  You can even put garden gloves over them if you are dealing with thorny or sharp material.

I will definitely look more into no-dig gardening! However, I am gonna have to face my fear due to my plans for next season. My house has a deck with a bed wrapped around it. Its edged with bricks that I'm planning to move further out to have a bit more space to plant. But as anybody whose kicked over a log or stone knows, there will likely be a lot of worms and other bugs underneath.

I'm already at a disadvantage due to my location (low sun in a suburb), so whatever I can do to take away other barriers to gardening (like the fear of worms) is a priority for me.

I think part of the issue is that at a quick glance, roots and sticks can look similar to worms and therefore I'm always a little nervous that I accidentally picked up a worm thinking it was a root or a stick.

Eino Kenttä wrote:I can't say I get the same reaction, except occasionally when I stumble over a very big earthworm, which sets off an alarm in my head screaming SNAKE! It just lasts for a split second, and consciously I know it's not a snake, but this has made me jump a couple of times. I guess it's hardwired into our genes to some extent.

Weirdly enough, I actually love snakes! I even considered getting one as a pet for awhile. I think its the fact that they have actual facial features and aren't a slimey/grippy/sticky texture.

Maggie Teller wrote:I will definitely look more into no-dig gardening! However, I am gonna have to face my fear due to my plans for next season. My house has a deck with a bed wrapped around it. Its edged with bricks that I'm planning to move further out to have a bit more space to plant. But as anybody whose kicked over a log or stone knows, there will likely be a lot of worms and other bugs underneath. ...

I think part of the issue is that at a quick glance, roots and sticks can look similar to worms and therefore I'm always a little nervous that I accidentally picked up a worm thinking it was a root or a stick.

Make gloves a part of your routine.  If it were me I would want leather work gloves that way not mater what I encounter they are away from my skin.

De-sensitization. Can you look at a picture of a worm? Can you hold a fake plastic worm in your hand? Build up slowly.

I used to dig and collect worms, and I STILL think they are pretty grotesque.

Hi Maggie, you're not alone! I was watching a garden influencer and greenhouse grower about 5 years ago doing a video series on her different greenhouse methods (wish I could remember her name) and in a video she was doing something and got scared by a worm. So she mentioned her phobia as she kept talking about her gardens.  I don't know how she managed it, but you aren't alone.

An example with snakes, using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), aka "tapping":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1giWuE8Xtc

An example with rats/mice, using EFT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YetW7aAuYw

An example with water phobia, using EFT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnwxSTA3Ycc

The formula and points to use:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V4SWbrWTz8

You can tap along with this short sequence, for whatever issue you have:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnbRcO43CD8

-------------------------------

An example with snakes, using NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming):
He's using mostly breathing and control of the picture techniques.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOkxcOU-Ypw

another NLP example, using posture and anchoring techniques:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNmKKqgn4hI

---------------------------------

Frankly, I like EFT for its speed, and it's easier...no need to force yourself to "remember" to calm down, or the techniques to use, etc.

Yes, it seems airy-fairy, but I've tried tapping in desperation, during the worldwide lockdowns, after I started finding out truths, and it works to help allay fears, sadness, anger, stress, etc.  

If you truly want to change, one of these will likely work for you.  If you just want to commiserate, it's always easy to find others who prefer to remain stuck (or who believe they CANNOT change--in that case, look up the book, Mindset, by Carol Dweck).

Please let us know how it goes!