Can someone who isn't a pet-person become a pet-person?

I don't consider myself to be a pet-person. I have had chickens for ~4yrs and I liked that they were outside and they were funny to watch but they always made me a little jumpy. I always wanted to get to the point where I could feed mealworms to the chickens from an un-gloved hand but I just couldn't do it! I did my part to make their lives as good as I could, organic feed, fresh veg as much as possible (including getting 'damaged' boxes of produce from the local organic produce store). We gave away the chickens when we moved and I'm not 100% sure I want to take care of chickens again. Were they really living their best lives? They contributed to my system but it was extra work to sell the eggs since we transitioned to being vegan while we had them. I did enjoy gifting the eggs.

I grew up in urban/suburban settings. I didn't grow up with pets. Part of me thinks that animals should live their best lives, that doesn't involve living in a house, domesticated and eating pelleted or canned food. I also don't feel a need to pet or cuddle a pet. I'm allergic to dander and the idea of getting hair or odor on me isn't enticing. I definitely don't like getting licked or a lot of barking. My in-laws have a little dog that barks a lot and then they yell back at the dog, it drives me nuts. It seems like they're reinforcing undesired behavior but I have very limited knowledge about cats or dogs.

Funny enough, I work in an unusual office environment where dogs are allowed and everyone else seems to get all mushy around dogs and I cannot relate. It's also a major distraction that my office mates seem to be totally ok with. I don't raise an alarm because I suspect I'm the minority plus it does give people joy.

I plan to live in a rural setting one day and I entertain/like the idea of having a dog for protection. However, perhaps unexpectedly, I've been recently considering getting a pet to help my suburban garden with rats and raccoons so I've been thinking about whether or not I'd be a good pet owner. I suppose, the crux of this is that I see pets as a part of a system with a purpose/contribution and not necessarily as a friend to lend non-verbal emotional support. So, in getting a pet to protect the garden, my hope would be that it gets to live primarily outside but I don't see anyone else getting a pet to live outside so am I thinking about this all wrong?

Has anyone been a non-pet-person turned pet-person with helpful feedback? I have to say that I feel unpopular in sharing this but I've tried to bring this up to people I know and it's always super uncomfortable and I don't get any helpful feedback.

It sounds to me like what you actually need is a working animal.  That isn't the same thing as a pet.  An animal can be both, but it doesn't have to be.  https://permies.com/t/40/187871/cat#1550864 The person who started this topic seems to have similar pest issues as you and also isn't interested in a pet.

I have always had pet cats but there was a time that we also sustained a relationship with a local feral cat.  After catching her and taking her to the vet to be fixed we made sure she had access to food and somewhere safe to sleep.  She came to trust us enough to sleep inside my room during truly bad weather but we never had the same relationship with her that we formed with the pets.  Except for the population control she interacted with us on her own terms.  I actually think she was hanging around because she was friends with my pet cat.

Alexandra Malecki wrote:I don't consider myself to be a pet-person. I have had chickens for ~4yrs and I liked that they were outside and they were funny to watch but they always made me a little jumpy. I always wanted to get to the point where I could feed mealworms to the chickens from an un-gloved hand but I just couldn't do it! I did my part to make their lives as good as I could, organic feed, fresh veg as much as possible (including getting 'damaged' boxes of produce from the local organic produce store). We gave away the chickens when we moved and I'm not 100% sure I want to take care of chickens again. Were they really living their best lives? They contributed to my system but it was extra work to sell the eggs since we transitioned to being vegan while we had them. I did enjoy gifting the eggs.

I grew up in urban/suburban settings. I didn't grow up with pets. Part of me thinks that animals should live their best lives, that doesn't involve living in a house, domesticated and eating pelleted or canned food. I also don't feel a need to pet or cuddle a pet. I'm allergic to dander and the idea of getting hair or odor on me isn't enticing. I definitely don't like getting licked or a lot of barking. My in-laws have a little dog that barks a lot and then they yell back at the dog, it drives me nuts. It seems like they're reinforcing undesired behavior but I have very limited knowledge about cats or dogs.

Funny enough, I work in an unusual office environment where dogs are allowed and everyone else seems to get all mushy around dogs and I cannot relate. It's also a major distraction that my office mates seem to be totally ok with. I don't raise an alarm because I suspect I'm the minority plus it does give people joy.

I plan to live in a rural setting one day and I entertain/like the idea of having a dog for protection. However, perhaps unexpectedly, I've been recently considering getting a pet to help my suburban garden with rats and raccoons so I've been thinking about whether or not I'd be a good pet owner. I suppose, the crux of this is that I see pets as a part of a system with a purpose/contribution and not necessarily as a friend to lend non-verbal emotional support. So, in getting a pet to protect the garden, my hope would be that it gets to live primarily outside but I don't see anyone else getting a pet to live outside so am I thinking about this all wrong?

Has anyone been a non-pet-person turned pet-person with helpful feedback? I have to say that I feel unpopular in sharing this but I've tried to bring this up to people I know and it's always super uncomfortable and I don't get any helpful feedback.

Given everything you've written, I would put up a good fence instead.  It's far cheaper than a dog, and far, far less commitment.  I have working dogs, they still do best with love, kindness, and companionship unless you have 2000 acres and a pack of LGDs.  Dogs bond very strongly with humans and in my mind, if you don't want to return that commitment, at least to some degree, than I wouldn't get one.  I personally think that having a lone dog that is expected to live outside in a suburban area without companionship is animal abuse.

I edited this to say, I'm talking about dogs because the OP mentioned protecting the area from raccoons.  Cats are much less commitment, but if you only have one, it still needs companionship.  Even our cats want attention from us and they are full-time outside hunting cats.

I think this is a matter of degrees. If you are absolutely not a pet person, then I question if you will be doing yourself or the pet any favors.  Then there becomes the soul searching question as to why you might want a pet.   Also, there is the issue of matching personalities.


I was not a pet person.  This is not to say I disliked pets, I just didn’t enjoy being with them. However, one day I heard a kitten crying and hunting down the sound, I found a very tiny kitten in the middle of a church parking lot.   So, I took it home and raised it on a doll bottle. It taught me to spend at least one hour of each day with her (as in I was not getting any sleep until I put in my time with her). So, I became a cat person.  

Much later, I needed a dog on the homestead.  After a couple of less than great experiences,  I researched breeds and realized that a Border Collie was the best bet for a breed that could get along with minimal contact from me.   So, while I did spend time with the pup for initial training ( come, sit, stay, go right, go left, good, bad, excuse me ....as in get out of my way), the pup was pretty much on its own other than to follow me when I made rounds.  I introduce a new dog every 5 years, and the older dog largely trains the new pup. This is not to say I don’t put in training time.

If case I am not being clear, do expect...and be willing ....to be trained by the pet. Learn their language at least at a basic level.  

Dear hubby has never been a cat person.  We had never had one until a baby kitten came out from under our truck one morning.

I said we could keep it if it was an outside cat.

We bought cat food.

Then dear hubby started bringing the kitten inside in the evenings.  Then he spent $20.00 on a cat toy.

Then he started agonizing about what would we do when it got winter.  Then he bought a pet carrier so the cat can be inside in the winter.

Then he agonized over getting the cat its shots and having the cat fixed.

Then he said we needed a litter box.  I said we are not having a litter box.  He bought a litter box and litter.

Now we have had almost a week of rain so the kitten stays in the house at night.

So during the evening dear hubby watches TV with a cat in his lap.

I would like to ask a question.  Are you ready to be owned by a cat?

Cats are very independent.  Our kitten has owned us for 3 months.




If you decide to get a dog, that is an entirely different story...  And I have several though we have always owned dogs.

Well,  there are sort of several things going on here, the 'perception' of what an animal lover looks like and how they behave around animals is one.   You do NOT have to googley-eyed baby-talking over every 4 legged thing you see to be a "pet person".    I suspect dogs aren't really fans of all that weird juvenile social pressure either.   I don't do any of that nonsense around animals;  I respect their personal space and don't get in their space, and I have no trouble minding my own business and attending to the task at hand just because there is a dog around.   That was something I looked for interviewing staff for my dog training business.   9 out of 10 could NOT pass that part of an interview,  could not follow explicit directions in the presence of a dog,  could not pay attention long enough to keep dogs safe and feeling protected.  

There is also the idea of what life is like with pets.   I spent all day outdoors in our yard with my dogs.   Neighbor dogs barking and going nuts on one side,  neighbors on the other side redoing a roof right next to my yard so ladders, powertools, walking around up on the roof...  my dogs were quiet,  calm,  well adjusted companions.   Not once did I have to yell at,  move, call away,  scold, distract, or otherwise "manage" my dogs other than being aware just in case they needed me.   That's training and socialization, and that kind of behavior and relationship comes from planning and effort up front.   Not everyone's cup of tea.   Lots of folks want a "dog like that' but not the work that comes with getting it.  

Lastly,  if you don't enjoy them, and don't want to engage with them much,  you are really limited to a handful of independent breeds, imo,  to be an ethical owner.   Most dogs are bred for a job with humans or companionship with humans, and without that,  they are not having their needs met.   Unlike livestock that are perfectly content to live in their own space,  even if they are happy to see you show up with treats or get a scratch now and then.    For the first two years,  you can expect to be your dogs protector,  not the other way around.   That's something that mature confident dogs take on as adults after a couple years of raising.   Lots to think about.

Heather said, "livestock that are perfectly content to live in their own space,  even if they are happy to see you show up with treats or get a scratch now and then.

It is hard for livestock to do their job if they become pets, especially meat animals.

Maybe goats or sheep are okay if they are for milk and fiber.

I would love to hear back from Alexandra about what decision was made.

In our area you can get barn cats from the humane society or animal shelter. These are feral cats that have been fixed and given their shots and now just need a place to live (outside usually since that's what they are used to) and food to eat and a kind of shelter from bad weather. They aren't expected to become pets but more of a mutually beneficial relationship.

Anne Miller wrote:I would love to hear back from Alexandra about what decision was made.

Hi Anne, I haven't made a decision and I suspect that I'll continue to ponder it for a while. I think I have more research to do because I don't want to go down the pet route and change my mind; I'll have to commit to the full experience/duration and I'm not quite there yet.

I was just at Wheaton Labs for the Rocket Mass Heater Workshop and Paul suggested a rat terrier that could live outside. This type of dog would be best for the vermin control and I like this idea best because I'm not allergic to dogs (but am allergic to cats). I still speculate whether or not I'll bond with the dog or how my family will bond with the dog. I wonder if there's a way of testing the waters first and getting a better idea of what this commitment entails.

Alexandra Malecki wrote:I wonder if there's a way of testing the waters first and getting a better idea of what this commitment entails.

You may want to consider visiting animal/dog rescues in your area every once in a while, maybe volunteer or help out with one-off special events. If it seems to work out well for you, then consider regularly volunteering and/or taking on a specific responsibility around the animals you want to associate with.

I have done this at farms, large and small, and have learned a lot regarding different animals and in some cases building a more-friendly relationship with them. Even a pet store or veterinarian's office might know of resources that can help you acclimate to the idea of having a pet, without the intense commitment that taking-in a pet requires.

Good luck!

So, my husband says that a dog would likely be just as much time and more money than relying on trapping for the vermin. But I speculate that the quality of time and money spent would be better invested in a dog than in managing the traps, buying the traps and bait, and having to deal with the carcasses. I'd like to try to not have the fact that my daughter would absolutely swoon over having a pet weigh on my decision too much; but I know getting a dog would also bring my daughter joy.

Thinking about my desire to test run this first is fundamentally based on not knowing if the temperament of dog will be a good fit. What do I do if the dog I get isn't family friendly? What if the older dog that I could find from a rescue doesn't know how to do ratter things? Does this mean that I need to get a dog from a breeder?

I still think I have more research to do, mostly to include what the needs are and how to train a dog and be able to understand the dog's needs. I agree it will be good for the family to visit the humane shelters in town as part of our research. I'm 31 and I've never had a dog!

I think I could form a partnership with a dog but I definitely want to ensure that I've thought this fully through.

I really appreciate reading everyone's thoughtful replies; thank you!

I'm now curious what everyone's thoughts are for breeder vs rescue.

Some basic pros to each:
Breeder: possibly easier to train to do ratter things and can learn to live outside for the most part.
Rescue: Would have a good idea of temperament and personal preference to not add to breeder demand.

When it comes to working dogs,  I am very very much pro-breeder.

Breeders (good ones, with working dogs) have so many benefits to the buyer.    Known history and genetics.   A socialization and behavioral plan for their puppies that starts weeks before the pups go home.  Before birth really;  it's been shown that puppy brains are hardwired for fear or stress behavior before birth depending on the stress levels of the pregnant mother.   Helps the puppys be prepared for the enviornment they are going to be born into.   Behavior and training advice going forward.   Ongoing puppy buyer support, and a fall back if things don't work out-  all good breeders take back their pups at any age for any reason.    Good puppy matching, so important when children are involved especially.   They'll select, or help you select, the right litter and the right puppy after getting a good feel for what you want and need.

Rescue dogs-  you get what you get.   Health, temperament, socialization, working ability... all of that is a huge crap shoot.   Some people like the "feel good" aspect of this.   Some people like having helped or saved a "difficult" dog.   As a trainer,  I get to see a lot of the other side of this besides the feel good happy endings of rescue.   Depending on where you rescue from,  it can run the gamut between good placement and retail-rescue,  really just a broker cashing in on the "adopt don't shop" propaganda.   A breed specific rescue that long term fosters dogs before placing them is probably a best case scenario.   I do some German Shepherd rescue group work and they are very careful and thorough, for example.  

Here's another thought for you;   did you know "barn hunts" are becoming a really big deal in dog sport world?   You might be able to find an event near you that you could go and watch or volunteer to help at.   It's essentially training dogs to hunt rats, and then competing for titles and whatnot over it.  The rats are in cages and the dogs are trained to search for them, with increasingly harder challenges and hides.   Fun stuff.   Lots of breeds do it, you might be surprised.   You might also get some insight into the training and work that goes into it!  

https://www.akc.org/sports/title-recognition-program/barn-hunt/

https://www.facebook.com/barnhuntassociation/

This is fabulous info, Heather, thank you!

I see upcoming events in my area in November and December -- I think I'll have to go =) thanks a bunch!!!

Just be aware that sometimes folks in dog sports are really stretched thin managing the environment and their dogs and thinking about the competition and their training.   They may seem abrupt or rude or distracted if you try to talk and ask questions,  try to remember they are mentally focused and working, and they probably also spent a decent amount of money on entry fees  :)   Many won't mind chatting a bit after they've put their dogs away, or their run is over for the day!   If you bring kids, make sure they aren't a distraction and can be quiet and not try to touch dogs.   Spend lots of time observing and a few well timed compliments don't hurt ;)     Every event has a bit of a different mood, some are more casual and laid back than others.