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Wheaton's Law of Reflective Douchebaggery  RSS feed

 
Ben Johansen
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Matu Collins wrote:Ooooh, enemabag is such a more appropriate insult! Enemacanoe?


Maybe there are levels, like the terroist threat levels. I.e.-

Level 1: Douchebag- A person with whom your veiwpoint on subject x does not mesh. "I see that guy shopping at Wal-Mart all the time. What a douche."
Level 2: Enemabag- A total douche, who has actively challenged and disagreed with your views on subject x. "That guy tried to tell me that the tomatoes he buys at Wal-Mart are just the same as the ones at the farmer's market. What an enemabag."
Level 3: Colostomybag- An absolute enemabag, who will rail on and on about his own views on subject x, but refuses outright to consider or even listen to other's views on subject x. "I know, right? He throws Wal-Mart into every conversation, and when I asked him why he drove two hours to buy tomatoes at Wal-Mart instead of growing them himself, he plugged his ears, shook his head, and kept sayin, 'la-la-la-la-al-gaba-gaba-gaba-I-can't-hear-you-la-la-la.'"

And so on and so forth.
 
Joe Braxton
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I've come to expect everyone to be an ass until proven otherwise........I'm seldom disappointed that way.....
 
Ian Rule
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Does refusal to douche-ify another make one immune to douche-ification from another?

Is this moving into a discussion of 'karma'? Cause that would be... kindof douchey.

Im just surprised 'deucebag' hasn't caught on yet.
 
paul wheaton
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It does not matter if you speak it or not. After all if you live your life to the fullest and you make a difference in this world, somebody thinks you are a douchebag. They might even say it out loud. Their standard set is different than yours.

If you can honestly and thoroughly not even think that the other person is a douchebag then this act falls into the tiny loophole "extremely high probability" which suggests that there is a possibility, although tiny, that this sentiment is a one way street. And I must tip my hat to you for being of greater strength of character than I.

If you think it, but don't say it, then the law still stands.
 
John Weiland
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@Paul W.: "If you think it, but don't say it, then the law still stands...."

What this implies is that the other person is thinking, and not saying, the same thing in direct reaction to your own thinking/not-saying. Thereby confirming the existence, still disputed within neurobiology, of mirror neurons in the higher primates. Drinks all around !.....
 
Billy Sawyer
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LOL.  Thanks all I needed this thread this fine Monday morning.

Anyone remember the "Dunce Hats?"  I propose a douchebag hat.  Just be still when approaching a potential douchebag and silently think "ha ha nice hat douchebag!"
 
Roger Taylor
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Replace douchebag with arsehole, and it applies just as much.  Most of the people I have seen call others either, tend to be acting out and insulting someone who can't hear them.  Or begrudging some absent person, a perceived injustice or insult, which is usually petty.

Every time I have to sit there and listen to it, I try and remind myself that I don't want to be trapped in the pattern the person I'm having to listen to is.

I'm not religious, but I think some of the short expressions work for me.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged."
 
Roberto pokachinni
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LOL! We here in Western Canada often even drop the "bag" part and would just say, "That guy is such a douche." just in case this is in any way relevant I would personally define a douchebag as someone (usually a male) who thinks they're all that, but in reality, they really are not all that (not even close)
  I'm bumping this thread up, and adding a comment, because I'm nearly ready to quit my job because of a douche of this nature.

I'm not saying that the douche does not occasionally think I'm a douche too, because we don't see eye to eye on many things, and if Paul's ideas about value sets holds true, then that makes sense.  But I don't think I'm a douche, and I personally would take offense to this douche calling me a douche.  So there's that.     

Here's the situation:  I just went to welding school in the end of last winter, and the guy I work with has been to the same school three years, and has another three years of welding after that.  His welding sucks.  I know this because I paid attention in class, and I asked questions in class, and I made mistakes in class and was corrected.  I watch him weld and cringe.  It's not that his actual welds are that bad.  It's all the things that you are supposed to do to make sure the next weld is on clean material, that has not been distorted, that has not been heat damaged... et cetera.  But he thinks, like the quote above, that he is all that.  He actually told me that he could teach me all I needed to know and that the school would be a waste of the company's money (i was paid to go to school).

So I do all the welding and he does all the grinding out of the defective metal and the finish grinding.  He's also a terrible grinder, overgrinding creates problems with megatons of freight going over it.  He's my foreman and he gets our protection (on the railway we as workers get a protection permit to own the track so that no one can run us over with a train while we are welding).  He's also supposed to monitor the radio because even with protection, mistakes happen and trains run into worker's protection limits and people don't stand up well to getting run over by trains.  He doesn't monitor the radio, he paces around and micro manages me or, more often, he goes to look at other potential work sites in the area.  I have ear plugs in to keep welding slag out of my ears (but also so that it's easier to tune out his constant stream of bullshit) and there's a massive welder generator blaring on the truck nearby that cancels out me hearing most of what the external speaker manages to get through my earplugs.  He's also a total narcissist.  He's so in love with himself that he doesn't notice that I haven't been involved in a 45 minute conversation (while we are driving to our work location) that has branched on multiple tangents--- all about him.

So, anyway the other day I'm going to start welding a defective area that he has ground out and I notice that the area below my weld area and below what he just ground out was severely overground in the past, and it is very clear that this is the reason that the area that I am about to weld broke in the first place and has broken out in this place before, and caused other places where the trains transition over to break out as well.  I point this overground area out to him and he shrugs, saying that the surface "wants to run that way" .  This is Douchspeak meaning that the trains have caused the problem not his grinding.  I have to put a block of carbon against the area to use as a sort of outer form to weld my new beads of material against.  Unfortunately the lower area is so massively overground that it is impossible to get the carbon block to fit flush, and thus there is a good chance that molten metal will drip down or I have to put the block in multiple positions and build up with weld of shorter beads.  While I struggle with this, he continues to micromanage me.  He does this the entire time that I am welding, continuously telling me that I am taking way too long.  I get the weld done during our allotted permit time, and we cancel our permit.  Two trains run before we have the chance to get another permit so he can do the finishing grind to bring the piece back to true profile. 

He gets a block of time that is long enough to do a lot more than the finish grind, which is great; it's always nice to have more than enough time to do your job.  Instead of getting the grinder out, he gets out his own welding gear and sets up to weld up the gaping hole underneath the area that I had just welded.  I cringe the whole time that i watch him weld.  It's so painful to watch, I must be a masochist.  At one point he notices that I am watching his welds with my welding helmet on, hoping that I might glean some small morsel of a useful technique one day, and he has just finished violently chipping the slag off of his weld.  He flips up his lid, and says to me that a good hard chip is as good as a peen.  I nearly burst out laughing (hysterical maniacal...not funny ha ha laughing) at the extreme fallacy of his statement.  This is the great lesson of the day for his 'apprentice'.   I nearly hitch hiked home.  Clearly I was very right that the profile was ground way off from where it should be, but he wouldn't admit that when I brought it up, or even after he welded it up.  He didn't mention it, or the fact that he had given me a massive amount of grief and frustration for nothing.  I brought up that it was good that my weld was now well supported and that it would protect the two places that we have been having consistent trouble with.  He agreed, but there is no acknowledgement that he massively screwed up this piece of metal in the first place which had caused all it's problems this summer.

This is just one part of one day of last week, which was one of the worst weeks that I've had, but it is not completely unheard of; in fact many of my days have been much the same.

He is a douche.  Period.  If I'm a douche because I call him a douche then so be it. 

 
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