Trespassing

we have a sign that says

"keep out, trespassers caught will be force fed tofu"

ive seen it stop more than a few people dead in there tracks.

Feral wrote:
In Washington, people steal the honey! Alright, a one time event (well I hope so for the owner's sake!) But I read about this in the news: http://www.whidbeyexaminer.com/main.asp?SectionID=1&SubSectionID=1&ArticleID=4421

I have a neighbor who has signs made out of the same materials as speed limit signs that say : Stay Safe    Stay Alive     Stay Out

I like them, they really look professional and make one think.... but I haven't been able to find who makes them. He got them at a garage sale. They look like they were pretty expensive originally.

Get someone who has Adobe Photoshop or Gimp, make the sign there with a clear font like Arial or Times New Roman.  Print it out, and place it on a nice board.  Cover with shellac or something clear, artists might have matte medium around, that works just as well. 

Let dry, & put up somewhere people can see it. 

came across this today via a facebook friend.

could be an effective solution!

I'd sure stay away from that property!

KurtW wrote:
One thing to keep in mind about posting "No trespassing" signs is that they are sort of vague legally.

...And they wonder why we make lawyer jokes.  Only a lawyer would pretend not to understand.  Everyone (including the lawyer) knows exactly what it means. 

tribalwind wrote:
came across this today via a facebook friend.

could be an effective solution!

That's hilarious. Will have to remember that one.

Personally I like this one:

Trespassers Will be Violated.

First post Howdy everyone!

Glenn Kangiser wrote:
That makes me mad...stinkin' busy bodies.

It is my understanding that you never ever have to let an assessor onto your property for any reason and they cannot even get a court order to get onto it without your permission.  I understand that a building inspector can get a court order if something you are doing is hazardous to someone off of your property.

I have the following sign posted in lots of locations on my property.  If someone violates it you can take them to small claims court and collect from them personally - get their name and invoice them.  This includes government employees on a personal level since they decided to act illegally and elected to enter your property even though they knew there was a land use fee.  The word  "Land" is the key and I find that even Sheriff's do not want to admit that they read the sign, so to me that is an indication that it truly does have power.

http://www.landrights.com/NoTrespassing.htm



If for some reason the above is unavailable here is one on my forum page also

http://countryplans.com/smf/index.php?topic=151.msg672#msg672

Download the image, print it and laminate it.  Post it around the perimeter of your property.

Check this site out

http://www.landrights.com/

No guarantees as so many things are done illegally by "authorities" under color of law, but if you don't know your rights it is impossible to defend yourself.  If you do it may or may not be a little easier.  I find it is beneficial to make them think I am crazy... 

Here is the link to the start of my story and various references to my craziness throughout... 

http://countryplans.com/smf/index.php?topic=151.0

Sorry the jerks are giving you such a bad time.  What area are you in - general area is fine?  Just interested.

Glenn,

Could you tell us more about the sign?  I saw it at a place in washington state.  Have folks been successful with it?

I have one that is similar, but without the per day fee. I have had all sorts of people drive right by it and it's on one of the gates at my driveway. Big thing. A year or so ago, had some strange guy show up, I was out with the dogs, as I came back he was just getting into his vehicle and leaving (had been at my front door). I ran into him a few days later in town, he had gotten the wrong driveway and was looking for his friends. I asked him what I could do to let people know that unanticipated visitors are unwelcome. He suggested I get "One of those signs they sell at Eich's". I told him that his passenger window was less than 2 feet away from one when he came through my gate.  So.. do they work? Maybe if you whap someone upside the head with them.

I was involved in a standoff situation with some bad guys a few years ago. I was blocking their exit route and their pickup was loaded with my absentee neighbors belongings. Call was out to the Sheriff's department.. .really long story short, they got away. But the sheriff's department felt that I could be in danger, so they checked up on me with great regularity. Used to scare the crap out of me. I'd think I was all alone.. and the next thing.. here comes a deputy. I asked them to call me, I begged them to call me "If you're worried just give me a call, if I don't answer.. well come see what's going on". That no trespassing sign never, not once slowed them down. What finally did the trick was the day we only had two deputies working, one had to transport someone out of the county, and the other decided to come up and check on me. Got his 4x4 stuck at the bottom of my driveway.. which is not the best place to be when you're the only deputy on duty in the county. That worked better then anything else. I don't have a problem with our deputies, I don't do anything illegal, I just have BIG space needs and really love the solitude. Anyway.. that sign didn't work for me.  If I think about it, I'll try to get a pic of one of my neighbors signs.. they work.

I also had problems with the census people. I mailed my census report in. Later found another one attached to my gate, then another, then I was coming home one day and encountered a woman from the census department just leaving my place. Asked her what she was doing, told her I had already mailed mine in. She wanted to know if the people who lived in my RV were on there. I have an older RV that is not visible from the road at any point, you have to be right on my property to see it. I asked her what she knew about my RV, she told me nothing, but that the pre-census person who came around earlier in the spring had made a note that I had an RV, so there was a possibility of it being inhabited. That made me really angry. I told her so, she told me that the census people tell them when they are orienting them that they can go anywhere, that it is a felony to do anything bad or threaten a federal employee. I filed a massive complaint and never heard a word back.  Also, for those of us who live close to a border, because of the homeland security regulations there are different laws protecting our privacy.. and they don't amount to much.

I know the guy from the assessor's office in my county. He has some horror stories to tell about being shot at.. among other things. I told him that I would appreciate a call before he comes up. He told me that for people who don't let him on their property, he can only make assumptions.. so.. those assumptions are usually on the high side.

Done with that rant <VBG>

They are made just like a regular road sign, with reflective metallic paint, they say "Stay Safe, Stay Alive, Stay Out".

People do pay attention to those.

One thing I've heard people using is a poacher's trap/alarm mine. Some of you have probably heard of them but basically they're a spring mechanism loaded with a blank shotgun cartridge which, when someone pulls on the trip wire, fires as the safety pin is pulled out (or something like that). Might be enough to scare people off if they think they're being fired upon.

Actually, the first time I heard of them, the person I was speaking to was using them to scare foxes and badgers away from his hen coop, so they have multiple functions.

The sign is reasonably effective though I have never enforced it.

During the fire of 08 the sheriffs would not admit they had read the sign so I know it carries weight.  I was not interested in enforcing it on them.  Just wanted them to let me take care of my own property and they were out of line.  They knew it.

It is enforceable on the individual in small claims court I understand from the www.landrights.com website.  I have never had any officials who wanted to test it.

Also there is a patent notice sign on that site.  My understanding is that you get your exhaustive chain of title - all the way back to the patent - usually it says something like.. from the federal gov. to _______ or heirs and assigns .... owner being an assign through exhaustive chain of title and county not being a party to it, so leaving county jurisdiction out of it. 

I have never been tested on it and am not making waves to be tested.

Also.. it may be only as good as the honesty of the court in your area. 

You write an invoice to the offending party who passed the sign thereby agreeing to pay the daily land use fee and take them to small claims to collect from them personally.

I am not an authority on this but it seems to work.

Be careful about setting any kind of trap or making a dangerous situation on your property.  Unfortunately the laws also protect the trespasser from you harming them.  Even blanks can kill or be switched.  Recently a man triggered his own trap and killed himself.

A trespasser has the right to leave to remedy the trespass, but if he willingly enters he agrees to the land use fee if posted and owes you... kind of like a software license... accept the terms and you are legally bound.  You willingly accepted.

Note that while you have the civil rights the sign talks about, it is legal for you to contract them away by signing a building permit or any other way you want ot contract your rights away.

Also check out UCC 1-207 --changed to  UCC 1-308 now I think... I use it on my legal signatures when I am not sure of hidden penalties such as tax forms.  Never had a problem and always got my refund.  All rights reserved or without predjudice - means you don't give up your common law rights is my understanding, to agree to be governed by their color of law rules imposing unjust penalties - contracting your rights away by your signature on their contract.

I think I only know enough about this to be dangerous but it may give you a place to start studying about your rights and freedoms that are daily being taken away.  Again - only as good as the legal authorities in your area.

    Hunters have vehicles and abandoned vehicles are vulnerable. They are unarmed and easy to damage. And you won't get in nearly as much trouble for damaging a vehicle as you would if some dirt bag were injured. The trick is to make sure that you get the right vehicle and not your neighbor's friend who wasn't quite sure where to park.

    I've had constant problems with marauding motorcycles and the thieves they carry. I had stockpiled enough materials to build my house and it was all stolen. My neighbor operates an outdoor adventure business which attracts all manner of unsavory characters who invariably get a peek at my belongings.

My biggest problems were when I lived deeper in the woods during hunting season.  Around here people think since they are shooting deer from the comfort of their cars and trucks it's somehow public land.  My house was in a deep hollow and the road over the mountain ran behind the house well in the safety zone.  All property was posted every year but I still had people sit on that road and shoot at deer that were in my back yard, so they were shooting at my house!!!

I ended up with two bullet holes in the house, one grazed the corner and the other went into a back bedroom that was used for storage.  They happened when we weren't home.  I also had a trespasser shoot a deer just feet from the gas well.  It was very apparent since there was blood everywhere in the snow.  Then the lovely people dragged the carcass up the hill to the road and gutted it right there on the road leaving all that behind for me and my dogs!!

The really sad thing is that I would have given permission if they had just asked.  All I want is to know the name of the person, see their hunting license and drivers license and they would have had permission as long as they stopped to talk to me first.  Deer are a real problem in my garden and I would rather they are harvested for food.

As for signs, I did see a cute one on tv that said "If you can read this, you are in range".

But, instead of big fences I would save the money for cameras and hook them up to a computer to film people coming and going on the property.  Maybe a sign for legal reasons that says private property, video in use.  If you have an area that they are driving through set it up so it catches their plate number. 

Also, many people don't seem to be afraid of dogs, but roosters.  I had the local fire department delivering their annual fund raising envelopes when he turned to leave he wouldn't move and I thought it was my dog (blind, but intimidating).  I told him that Blue was blind and he might bump into him, but he was a very good dog.  Well the man looked at me and said, "I'm not worried about the dog, I'm worried about ......him".  When I looked behind him I saw my rooster Rudy.  His head was down, hackles up, his wings out and ready to pounce and he had a low growl in the back of his throat.  I had to get my broom and escort him back to his car.  Best rooster ever!  He hated strangers.

Oh, what about those puncture your tires things, with a sign for warning of course.



Tami 

Not much IMO that beats a big, territorial dog so far as deterrents. Intimidation factor is key.. not absolutely necessary that it's an aggressive animal (though it'll help the case) - more important that it's big enough so that when folks see it they won't want to get close enough to even test its demeanor. Not to mention big dogs will run deer, so double whammy if the trespassers are there for poaching. No quarry = no hunters.

      Regarding aggressive dogs. This only works if your property is large and your dog understands where his territory ends. My younger siblings were unable to go to school down a certain road because of the neighbors aggressive dog. I killed that dog.  With the help of a group of friends I also drove another family from the neighborhood with a combination of vandalism and late-night noise directed at their home. All of this was in retribution for a dog bite received on the side of a public road.

dale hodgins wrote:
      Regarding aggressive dogs. This only works if your property is large and your dog understands where his territory ends. My younger siblings were unable to go to school down a certain road because of the neighbors aggressive dog. I killed that dog.  With the help of a group of friends I also drove another family from the neighborhood with a combination of vandalism and late-night noise directed at their home. All of this was in retribution for a dog bite received on the side of a public road.

It can work easily in a number of different scenarios, actually.

Firstly I wasn't advocating keeping an animal like the one you describe above. There's a big difference between a well-trained and cared for dog that's protective of it's home territory and a rabid pitbull chasing kids down public byways. The first problem with that animal is its owner. Properly trained and socialized animals, even if territorial on home ground, don't run about biting people willy-nilly. Properly trained and socialized humans fence dangerous dogs so they don't pose a hazard to their neighbors' kids. As much as I hate playing the redneck with the gun, I've resorted to picking off our neighbors' essentially ferrel dogs (whom they care little for and have essentially free range of the area as their fence is inadequate) when they cross our property line. They're nowhere near big or mean enough to pose any threat to me, but waking up to them in my barn with dead hens strewn about was a bad morning that I don't care to revisit. Glad to report the two responsible for that slaughter are no longer with us.

Where in the country are all these horrifying stories from...
where people steal building materials right from your property
where people steal your hay
where neighbors cause alot of noise just to get you to move out
where drunk hunters come right through your property and threaten you

Is this Rural USA in general? Where can I have a homestead and NOT worry about people being such assholes.

I was talking to an ex-farmer one day, and he says when was growing up in something farming town in upstate NY, neighbors used to throw spikes or something in your fields in order to destroy your tractor. Apparently farmers were so supercompetitive that they'll even break your equipment.

I'm actually thinking Virginia as the place where I want to make my homestead. Perhaps someone can tell me if this shit happens in Virginia

I once had a neighbor that regularly patrolled his 3000 acres.  He would find all sorts of vehicles on his land, then take the keys, let the air out of the tires, call the sheriff.  He would have the people prosecuted to the full letter of the law and he would sell their vehicles for cheap.  He probably made about $25,000 per year selling vehicles this way.

How did he obtain title to the vehicles?  Or was he able to get a lien placed on them by the local judge or something?  Generally such vehicles are simply confiscated by law enforcement, I think. 

Ok, finally got a pic of the no trespassing sign that I love and no one seems to question. I keep thinking when I get some $$ I'll try to find someone to make me some.

The other attachment is of a sign like that I found for sale in one of our local stores. It seems to speak to more people than a simple no trespassing sign, but it's also identical to the one that I have had people drive right past.

A while back I was travelling in Scotland, and I was surprised to find out that the public has the right to move across any privately-held land, as long as they stay within reasonable distances away from housing and are respectful to the landowners. Here's a wikipedia article about it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_Reform_Act_%28Scotland%29_2003

Quite a different philosophy than what is being espoused here!

This is a lot more pervasive than I thought!  Apparently much of northern Europe has similar land access laws.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_to_roam

Maybe when there is no "resource guarding" the valuables aren't quite as exciting to steal?

Do they have the drug problems that we have in the USA? Most of my local thieves are drug addicts.....

      I am always going to guard my resources and the fruits of my labor. The trash that have stolen from me and I call them trash because they are not my equals, showed up with trucks. They generally scout on motorcycles, then return later. There is simply no logical way to paint these thieves as victims of drugs or some sort of economic victim. They're just opportunistic dirt bag, trash.

I'm glad I live in a nice area!   

Bad luck getting robbed but don't get discouraged with hunters. Go out meet them say hello ask what they are hunting and whatever it is, they can find it over in your drug dealers land next door. Then when they go out of sight rob their truck when they come back blame it on the drug dealer problem solved. They won't come back.

MacNova wrote:
Bad luck getting robbed but don't get discouraged with hunters. Go out meet them say hello ask what they are hunting and whatever it is, they can find it over in your drug dealers land next door. Then when they go out of sight rob their truck when they come back blame it on the drug dealer problem solved. They won't come back.

Rolling on the floor.
Sounds like it'd go against many religions.
Think i've heard similar from some mountain relatives.
It'd probably work.

See these types of photos passed through emails on occasions. It gets your attention, you laugh, and it might make you read the next sign. If you can get your neighbor to post the same signs, you might get people thinking they should just leave town and go to the next.

... do any of these land rights relate to land patents?

Feral wrote:

I found this recommendation on line that I really like, but am clueless as to whether or not it would work: http://www.landrights.com/trespassing_intro.htm

I live right by this guy, I drive passed his house twice a day. He has a large sign like this posted like a billboard behind a fence, as well as, another that has his website on it. I finally got curious about it and went to the website last year. He has a pretty cool looking homestead from what I can see, and a large "Don't Tread On Me" flag flying. Small world....

Honestly, GARDEN NAKED. Just make sure your critter cam is turned off.

True story. When we first stumbled upon our little paradise 25 odd years ago, my partner had a precancerous skin condition on his hip that the medicine of the time couldn't do anything about. The specialist finally said that if he could get some sun on it, it may have an affect. Well this place is perfect for being naked and thats how we discovered how wonderful it is. Well the skin condition went away and has never come back. When my brother-in-law had the same thing on his thigh the doctors told him to stay out of the sun, and then put him through 2 or 3 rounds of TOTAL body radiation. His hair has never come back properly.

Anyway there has been a side effect to our naturism. Its best to say that there are basically two kinds of landowners here. The biggest group are the petit bourgeois who live in the nearby city and have their country places in this beautiful place. They love to gossip. The natives, who are all descended from the original 2 or 3 homesteading families who settled the valley about 200 years ago, make their living servicing the bourgeois, gossiping and making a little extra money by growing God's green weed, and petty thievery.

Well, its only taken a few unannounced visits by the folks of either group to end that practice. Seems neither group is happy seeing what open pollinated members of our species looks like. >

tldr: nudity scares people away.

Maybe that sign I've seen at nude beaches......WARNING BEYOND THIS POINT YOU MAY ENCOUNTER NUDE PEOPLE..... would keep trespassers out.

I love the "Trespassers will be hog tied.." sign and the "If you can read this, you're IN RANGE" sign. The "QUARANTINE" is good too.

I think making people think you're batshit crazy can count for a lot.
I'm a fan of the "Voodoo it up" method. Save your chicken feet by drying them in salt. Find some nice skulls and interesting feathers and bones. Tie them together with colorful twine. Get some of the glass candles from the dollar store with the saints painted on them. Make creepy stick figures a'la Blair Witch. Distribute this weird stuff around your property. Paint or carve some pentagrams on trees. > Put up a couple "TRESPASSERS WILL BE HEXED" signs. Have fun with it.

We are lucky out here. The people of our valley are organized. All the neighbors know each other and look out for one another, even though we are miles apart. There is a neighborhood watch, and a 'phone tree' with everyone's number on it. One neighbor "patrols" the road every evening looking for folks/vehicles that don't belong here. NOTHING beats building a strong, cohesive community.
The next valley over is a bit more militant. They have several properties and road entrances POSTED - ACTIVE MILITIA with a sign that looks very much like the landrights trespassing sign in this thread.

Nobody around here has had any problems recently.

BTW, the voodoo thing works better if you believe in it a little bit. Envision an aura of protection surrounding your property. Say a few words like "no one shall pass here". Pee on your property line to mark your territory. Really feel it. It sounds crazy, but I believe we leave an energy imprint with our intentions and emotions. People might not believe in that stuff, but they can still feel it subconsciously if you put some intent into your voodoo, and will get the creepy crawlies and leave.

My husband girls and I sally live of deer meat each year. My family pays high taxes each year on our woods and farm land. There is nothing more infuriating to us than a trespasser. Or as I like to call them blood suckers! I can’t tell you how many time somebody has been in my private hunting stand opening morning. When they are physically sitting there it is blatant. Sometime it is accidental, then we simply show them to property line. However for the ones that have shot up my stand or pulled down our signs. I call the authority without hesitation and make a lot of noise.

To begin with: have you ever thought of putting up some signs around your property? You can buy them at any hardware store and they look very official. They also keep you out of trouble with the police. If someone trespasses after seeing the signs: then they are willfully breaking the law and they can be prosecuted and brought to court. That should be your first step, and your last. Most decent people will not trespass on land if there is a sign saying "No Trespassing!"

Second... if you meet anyone does trespass onto your land, all you have to do with anyone who is trespassing is get their car license plate number, and report them to the police:... no need for confrontation, the police will confront them later with a court summons which they will have to obey, and after your sworn testimony that they trespassed on your property, they will all be given stiff fines, and if they did any damage you will be awarded damages which they will have to pay or go to jail... If their car isn't close enough to get their license plate number: just ask them for their name and their address. If they refuse to give their name and address, then they have something to hide. The instant they become defensive about giving you their name: PRESS THEM: ask them for their name and address: Have a small notebook and pencil on you at all times... If they see you scribbling down their name and where they live... they will hotfoot it out of there muy pronto, and they will definitely not come back. The point is: anyone trespassing on your property who refuses to identify themself is automatically suspected of criminal intentions and is perceived as to be a criminal. This tactic takes all the confrontational crap out of the situation, and it simply becomes you wanting to know who they are and where they live so you can report them to the authorities for trespassing on your property. If they don't WANT to give you their name. If they don't WANT to give you their name and the address where they live... ask them where their car or truck is... and just backtrack where they came from, and write down the license plate of their vehicle and LEAVE. In fact that is an even better solution because you will not be confronting them, instead you will be walking AWAY from them towards where they parked their vehicle, and you not need to have any more conversations with them.

This way you don't need to even speak to them. If they try to physically stop you from writing down the license plate of their vehicle: they will be in a whole lot of TROUBLE. Besides, if you have a good memory: you will be able to memorize the license plate number even if you don't have a pen and paper handy. Don't worry about them, just ignore them and get their license plate. Just get their license plate number and your job as a citizen is done. Be sure to remember what kind of clothes they are wearing and what they look like so you will be a good witness at the hearing and so you can identify the ones who were guilty of breaking the law.

Third, and this is only if the police refuse to go after any people who have trespassed upon your land, is a very simple solution: bear traps. Let it be known that you've seen a bear prowling around near your property or in the woods, and that you have set out some traps to catch it... As a natter if fact, if you BUY a few bear traps, and hide them under the leaves in places where you think trespassers might come,... then the whole county will be your bosom buddy and you will become famous as the bear trapper that caught a few drunken hunters on your property, who trespassed onto your land while you weren't there... Even better: set some bear traps around your cabin, and you might come home one day to find that you have actually caught a thief who was trying to steal something from you. If that ever happens, I guarantee that you will have no more trouble with anyone coming onto your land whom you don't want. Plus: it will make a fine story to tell, and you will be the talk of the town, and you will have so many new friends you'll have to plant more potatoes and vegetables for when they come over and visit you.

Even rabbit snares will do... any kind of trap, any kind of booby trap set for trespassers or robbers can be easily justified on the basis that you were trying to catch varmints, just not the human kind, and if by chance that happens... then hey, talk about luck! It's no skin off your nose if a drunken hunter steps on a trap when you're not there and ignores the 'No trespassing' signs posted around your property, and this way the law can't touch you... in fact they'll become your friend because you're on their side. Ever see a hunter caught in a rabbit snare hanging from a tree upside down? No harm in trapping rabbits on your property, now is there?

if your in trouble come on in, if your hungry come on in, if your after stealing stuff come on in. getting out...... thats negotiable!

Ernie Wisner wrote:if your in trouble come on in, if your hungry come on in, if your after stealing stuff come on in. getting out...... thats negotiable!

Have a sign that says:
"Welcome: If you want to, you can come in.... but you can never leave."

Pam Hatfield wrote:If your hunters are like the ones over here, then putting up signs won't help much. Every year I post the property and every year I return to find the signs ripped down..yesterday even the plank the sign was painted on had disappeared. Next year  willows go in wherever there is enough moisture to support them and a coppiced fence is on the agenda, sea buckthorn and russion olive shrubs all over planted with hops and wild cucumber  vines everywhere.  If I had access to poison oak......!! The vines wont  do more than slow them down but I'm hoping they might be enough to hold them off until the shrubs get tall enough to be a significant barrier.

the disrespect that some hunters show is just plain sad to me... in the areas i hunt there are very very few property owners that will allow hunters on thier land even with explicit permission because of how some hunters treat the land around them, it seems none of them understand the whole 'leave no trace' concept and just can't grasp that some people work very hard to earn what land they have, or that were it their land they would expect others to respect it even more so
the land i will be working isn't very good for hunting in the first place, just antelope running around, so i doubt hunters will pose a serious issue but trespassing and how to effectively deal with it is a great topic for a thread, thanks OP:)

EDIT: me and my "silly" english abbreviations lol :wave:

Just plant brier rose the species we have here has 1 1/2" thorns all over it. it even kills blackberry vines. or you could get a good patch of devils club going in the boggy bits. in oregon we have a wide variety of nasty plants.
we have a cow parsnip that puts out corrosive sap that will burn the skin in seconds. it often grows right in the middle of the kind you dont have to worry about. P oak that has every expression known (ground cover, vine, bush, shrub, and tree. sometimes all in the same area) I tell you when you have seen a 30 foot p oak tree with a trunk 12 inches round and a 300 foot vine as big around as your leg and a bush and ground cover that is all p oak and you are as allergic as i am. it is scary and will give you death mares. (yes I am allergic; not a rash. i burst bleed and go into anifalactic (SP) shock and die)

I am a fan of a shrunken head on a spike next to the driveway. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=shrunken+head&source=web&cd=14&ved=0CJABEBYwDQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shrunken-head.com%2F&ei=Pg2CT_vFOYm02gWo2oCIBw&usg=AFQjCNHmEcm9v0IAepW1b3BsM9OMzi3qDw

A friend of mine and I have both had 100% success by posting our property lines with signs that say "Hunting by Permission Only."

When someone comes to the door to ask permission, I tell them the truth: I have already given permission to a guy who has two teenagers to hunt my property. If they want to negotiate with the person who has permission to hunt my property, I take their name and number and tell them that if the person who has first rights wants to share, he will get back to them. And once they are gone, the slip of paper goes into the round file.

There's something about the "two teens" that really seems to give hunters the fear of Ghod... or someone. I think they can imagine all too vividly a 14 year old who is all excited clutching a shotgun.

It's funny because that's far from the truth. The guy who has permission to hunt my property, his kids (he's got a passel, he's not gonna run out of teenagers any time soon) are so polite, painstaking and generally good people to have around. They hunt responsibly and have never caused any problems at all.

But hey, if the idea of a wild eyed 14 year old keeps them off my property, all the better.

Obviously, my only problem with trespassers has been during hunting season.