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Shamelessly irrelevant humor - let's unwind

 
Destiny Hagest
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From time to time, I like to shut my brain into Standby mode. I'm a mom, always on duty, always working, but hot damn, sometimes I just want to be mindlessly entertained. So I click on the Netflixes, grab a big hunk of chocolate and some wine, and watch Grey's Anatomy in 8 minute intervals as my toddler falls off of things and requests nursies.

Let's make each other laugh, and take a break from saving the world for a moment - post your most obnoxious memes, your favorite TV shows, and favorite guilty pleasures. Come back to this thread when you need a laugh, or to just 'switch off' for a moment.

I hope this one isn't too offensive for these forums, but it made me laugh like Beavis.



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Ben Johansen
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[youtube]https://youtube.com/?#/watch?v=DaEzT5MusFs[/youtube]
 
Dale Hodgins
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What do Jesus and the T1000 terminator have in common? Both can die and come back to life and both are extremely popular characters from a #2 sequel. šŸ˜ˆ
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Here are some silly images that make me chuckle.

The first one was a sign in a restaurant bathroom. As a mom, I could SO relate to this!

My daughter hates bag pipes. We went to all kinds of Celtic and Scottish festivals to raise money for her school theatre group to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and she was usually, constantly cringing at the bag pipe music. She would totally pay.

This one is just fun! Sign makers are just silly some times.

'Shark week' is Paul's favorite term for menses.

Irrelevant to be sure! Slightly irreverent, too.
20140310_112307.jpg
child-proofed-house
I child-proofed my house
bagpipes.jpg
[Thumbnail for bagpipes.jpg]
pay or I play
banned-things.jpg
[Thumbnail for banned-things.jpg]
wild dog
sharkweek.jpg
[Thumbnail for sharkweek.jpg]
shark week

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Destiny Hagest
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ahaha! I am loving this thread - all too often I forget how nice it is to just laugh at something absurd. Keep 'em comin' you guys!

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Jason Silberschneider
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That moment when you crash land your spaceship on earth, damaging it beyond repair, and have to try to blend in and find employment while you wait for a rescue craft to arrive.
alien.png
[Thumbnail for alien.png]
 
Jason Silberschneider
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Anyone familiar with the breeding habits of cuckoo birds will appreciate this photo.
cuckoo.jpg
[Thumbnail for cuckoo.jpg]
Brood parasitism
 
John Polk
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Let Google entertain you today
 
John Polk
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Or, this classic BBC documentary from Aoril 1, 1957
 
Mick Fisch
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http://www.gizmag.com/killerdrone-chainsaw/42605/

what could possibly go wrong with this idea?
 
tiffany thrasher
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this guy is such a bastard. it's hilarious.
http://dontevenreply.com/

>^x^<

 
tiffany thrasher
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also, this is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen.
i read it at least once a year and come pretty close to peeing myself ever single time. hahah

enjoy!

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

>^x^<

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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tiffany thrasher wrote:also, this is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen.
i read it at least once a year and come pretty close to peeing myself ever single time. hahah

enjoy!

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html



Yes! LOVE Allie Brosh's blog around here! Did you know that if you type alot instead of a lot, the forum coding will create a link to her blog about the Alot monster? Heh, heh!

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tiffany thrasher
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^^^
hahahahah. its so good. and i do every single one of those things. im especially eagle-y. heh.

>^x^<

 
Darren Cook
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John Weiland
pollinator
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As I type this, I'm watching wind-driven snow flurries out of the north while mentally preparing to rototill the garden tomorrow.

Inspirational poem for the task:
....................................................................................................
Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy Evening ā€“ By Donald J Trump

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.
And let me tell you something, my people say heā€™s a complete nobody.
This guy lives in the village. So what if he sees me stopping here?
I dare him to sue me! I dare him!

And by the way, this snow is pathetic.
These are by far, the least downy flakes ever!
I hear they had to import them from Canada.
I donā€™t know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didnā€™t. Weā€™re looking into it.

My horse ā€“ heā€™s the most incredible horse, seriously,
I have the greatest, the classiest horses ā€“
My horse doesnā€™t even know what the hell weā€™re doing here.
The horses love me though. They do.
Theyā€™re always shaking their bells at me, itā€™s very loving.
Itā€™s a beautiful thing.

Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.
Theyā€™re not dark. Theyā€™re not deep. Theyā€™re nothing. Theyā€™re for losers.
And I cannot wait to sue this guy.
I cannot wait to sue this guy.

ā€œThe most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.ā€ā€• Albert Einstein

 
Tracy Wandling
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This is me everyday now. Oh, menopause, how I loathe thee!
Forgetful.jpg
[Thumbnail for Forgetful.jpg]

My new garden My first permaculture garden build My art and graphic design site My new blog

 
John Weiland
pollinator
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It's that season again....in addition to spring in the northern hemisphere.
Mother-sDayCard.JPG
[Thumbnail for Mother-sDayCard.JPG]

ā€œThe most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.ā€ā€• Albert Einstein

 
Matthew Lewis
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This one made me laugh yesterday......
052d2652c37cb323989c6fe1e82c91b263c6a5-v5-wm.jpg
[Thumbnail for 052d2652c37cb323989c6fe1e82c91b263c6a5-v5-wm.jpg]
Zombie rights

Permaculture, Tiny House Living, Homesteading
http://www.canadianrenegade.com

 
Jocelyn Campbell
steward
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Okay, have you all heard of goat yoga? In case you haven't, it is indeed a thing. Who knew?

This was posted in response to that and on April Fool's Day, and I love it!


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Rebecca Norman
gardener
Posts: 2527
Location: Ladakh, Indian Himalayas at 10,500 feet, zone 5
857
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This was our adventure in planting banana seeds:
planting-bananas-in-ladakh-1.jpg
[Thumbnail for planting-bananas-in-ladakh-1.jpg]
planting-bananas-in-ladakh-5.jpg
[Thumbnail for planting-bananas-in-ladakh-5.jpg]
planting-bananas-in-ladakh-6.jpg
[Thumbnail for planting-bananas-in-ladakh-6.jpg]
planting-bananas-in-ladakh-7.jpg
[Thumbnail for planting-bananas-in-ladakh-7.jpg]

Works at a residential alternative high school in the Himalayas SECMOL.org . "Back home" is Cape Cod, E Coast USA.

 
Devin Lavign
pollinator
Posts: 1114
Location: Pac Northwest, east of the Cascades
336
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"Where will you drive your own picket stake? Where will you choose to make your stand? Give me a threshold, a specific point at which you will finally stop running, at which you will finally fight back." (Derrick Jensen)

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Rebecca, I loved your April Fool's prank!

Devin, that was...weird.

Here's what I'm feeling lately.

(source)
your-nose-my-business.jpg
[Thumbnail for your-nose-my-business.jpg]
your nose, my business

QuickBooks set up and Bookkeeping for Small Businesses and FarmsĀ - jocelyncampbell.com

 
Casie Becker
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You don't want to know how many disturbing cake pans and candy molds I had to scroll through to find these http://bigbangupdates.com/2015/02/daesung-ice-nose-lips.html Just in case you want to have some realistic noses on hand for the next busy body you meet.
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Casie Becker wrote:You don't want to know how many disturbing cake pans and candy molds I had to scroll through to find these http://bigbangupdates.com/2015/02/daesung-ice-nose-lips.html Just in case you want to have some realistic noses on hand for the next busy body you meet.



BWAHAHAHA!!!

Look at these gummie noses!



Thanks for the laugh, Casie!

QuickBooks set up and Bookkeeping for Small Businesses and FarmsĀ - jocelyncampbell.com

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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I'm trying to work, really I am!!

Here's one I loved from FB:

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Craig Dobbson
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This is not directed at anyone.    just laughed my ass off when I saw it.

"You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no resultā€
How Permies.com Works
Be Nice

 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Paul sent me this. In part because he knows I do this "magic" for him and I haven't fallen onto the magic coffee table (yet - just kidding!)!



QuickBooks set up and Bookkeeping for Small Businesses and FarmsĀ - jocelyncampbell.com

 
Todd Parr
pollinator
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Two cows are standing in a field.  One says to the other "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"  The other replies "Why?  I'm a helicopter."

"People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do."

 
John Weiland
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"My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. Iā€™m pretty sure she was hitting on me."    (ba......)

"The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today Iā€™m pretty sure heā€™s going to get me something."    (......da....)

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.  I gave him a glass of water."    (.......bing)

ā€œThe most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.ā€ā€• Albert Einstein

 
Kerry Ceilidh
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I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

Soā€¦


I looked around my house to see the things that Iā€™d started and hadnā€™t finished:

so I have managed to finish off that bottle of Vodkaā€¦

a bottle of Chardonnayā€¦

a bodle of brandeeā€¦

a butle of wumā€¦

a pockage of buscuitsā€¦

tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptinsā€¦

the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletzā€¦.

Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite nowā€¦i sure got me sum of that inna piss
 
Deb Rebel
gardener
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Repeat this in front of a mirror until you can deliver it effortlessly:  "Chaos and Entropy ARE design styles for home dĆ©cor."
The only way to sweep a room is with a glance.
That's NOT dust, it's protective flocking.
IF everything has enough protective flocking it will all MATCH as it will be the same shade.
Those are not weeds, those are the dinner salad for tonight (things such as lamb's quarters and dandelions).

Even a PB&J sandwich tastes better if someone else made it.  ~ heh
 
r ranson
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Maybe it is just the Canadian in me showing, but I love this old joke... A transcript of a us ship and Canadian radio officer.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call

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homegrown linen | crazy chicken lady grows yarn!

 
Thyri Gullinvargr
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"Your thoughts are seeds, and the harvest you reap will depend on the seeds you plant." - Rhonda Byrne

 
jonathan kedzierski
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This joke works pretty good on older people and Wal-Mart greeters. Who was the first carpenter? The usual response is Joseph, it was actually Eve, she made Adam's bananna stand...
 
Thyri Gullinvargr
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"If you water it and it dies, it's a plant. If you pull it out and it grows back, it's a weed."





"Your thoughts are seeds, and the harvest you reap will depend on the seeds you plant." - Rhonda Byrne

 
Jeff James
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Destiny Hagest wrote:ahaha! I am loving this thread - all too often I forget how nice it is to just laugh at something absurd. Keep 'em comin' you guys!




So true! I love the shark week cat meme  

 
Gregg Carter
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John Polk wrote:Or, this classic BBC documentary from Aoril 1, 1957

Oh my, I once convinced a guy spaghetti grew on trees. I called the pasta maple. He believed me!!!

That guy wasn't very bright. I guess I should feel bad, but I don't because he tried to tell me he went to a peanut orchard. :)

 
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