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Shamelessly irrelevant humor - let's unwind  RSS feed

 
gardener
Posts: 1295
Location: Little Belt Mountains, MT
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From time to time, I like to shut my brain into Standby mode. I'm a mom, always on duty, always working, but hot damn, sometimes I just want to be mindlessly entertained. So I click on the Netflixes, grab a big hunk of chocolate and some wine, and watch Grey's Anatomy in 8 minute intervals as my toddler falls off of things and requests nursies.

Let's make each other laugh, and take a break from saving the world for a moment - post your most obnoxious memes, your favorite TV shows, and favorite guilty pleasures. Come back to this thread when you need a laugh, or to just 'switch off' for a moment.

I hope this one isn't too offensive for these forums, but it made me laugh like Beavis.



 
Posts: 88
Location: Door County, WI
8
fungi goat hunting solar trees woodworking
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gardener
Posts: 7337
Location: Victoria British Columbia-Canada
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What do Jesus and the T1000 terminator have in common? Both can die and come back to life and both are extremely popular characters from a #2 sequel. 😈
 
master steward
Posts: 4924
Location: Missoula, MT
680
books food preservation forest garden hugelkultur purity
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Here are some silly images that make me chuckle.

The first one was a sign in a restaurant bathroom. As a mom, I could SO relate to this!

My daughter hates bag pipes. We went to all kinds of Celtic and Scottish festivals to raise money for her school theatre group to go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and she was usually, constantly cringing at the bag pipe music. She would totally pay.

This one is just fun! Sign makers are just silly some times.

'Shark week' is Paul's favorite term for menses.

Irrelevant to be sure! Slightly irreverent, too.
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I child-proofed my house
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pay or I play
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wild dog
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shark week
 
Destiny Hagest
gardener
Posts: 1295
Location: Little Belt Mountains, MT
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ahaha! I am loving this thread - all too often I forget how nice it is to just laugh at something absurd. Keep 'em comin' you guys!
 
Posts: 177
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That moment when you crash land your spaceship on earth, damaging it beyond repair, and have to try to blend in and find employment while you wait for a rescue craft to arrive.
alien.png
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Jason Silberschneider
Posts: 177
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Anyone familiar with the breeding habits of cuckoo birds will appreciate this photo.
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Brood parasitism
 
steward
Posts: 8019
Location: Currently in Lake Stevens, WA. Home in Spokane
299
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Let Google entertain you today
 
John Polk
steward
Posts: 8019
Location: Currently in Lake Stevens, WA. Home in Spokane
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Or, this classic BBC documentary from Aoril 1, 1957
 
Posts: 335
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http://www.gizmag.com/killerdrone-chainsaw/42605/

what could possibly go wrong with this idea?
 
Posts: 19
Location: central california - zone 9a
bike cat fungi
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this guy is such a bastard. it's hilarious.
http://dontevenreply.com/
 
tiffany thrasher
Posts: 19
Location: central california - zone 9a
bike cat fungi
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also, this is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen.
i read it at least once a year and come pretty close to peeing myself ever single time. hahah

enjoy!

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html
 
Jocelyn Campbell
master steward
Posts: 4924
Location: Missoula, MT
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tiffany thrasher wrote:also, this is quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen.
i read it at least once a year and come pretty close to peeing myself ever single time. hahah

enjoy!

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html



Yes! LOVE allie brosh's blog around here! Did you know that if you type alot instead of a lot, the forum coding will create a link to her blog about the Alot monster? Heh, heh!

 
tiffany thrasher
Posts: 19
Location: central california - zone 9a
bike cat fungi
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^^^
hahahahah. its so good. and i do every single one of those things. im especially eagle-y. heh.
 
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pollinator
Posts: 1112
Location: RRV of da Nort
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As I type this, I'm watching wind-driven snow flurries out of the north while mentally preparing to rototill the garden tomorrow.

Inspirational poem for the task:
....................................................................................................
Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy Evening – By Donald J Trump

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.
And let me tell you something, my people say he’s a complete nobody.
This guy lives in the village. So what if he sees me stopping here?
I dare him to sue me! I dare him!

And by the way, this snow is pathetic.
These are by far, the least downy flakes ever!
I hear they had to import them from Canada.
I don’t know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t. We’re looking into it.

My horse – he’s the most incredible horse, seriously,
I have the greatest, the classiest horses –
My horse doesn’t even know what the hell we’re doing here.
The horses love me though. They do.
They’re always shaking their bells at me, it’s very loving.
It’s a beautiful thing.

Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.
They’re not dark. They’re not deep. They’re nothing. They’re for losers.
And I cannot wait to sue this guy.
I cannot wait to sue this guy.
 
steward
Posts: 1810
Location: Cortes Island, British Columbia. Zone: 8ish Lat: 50; Rainfall: 50" ish; sand and rocks; well water
461
bee books chicken forest garden fungi hugelkultur trees
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This is me everyday now. Oh, menopause, how I loathe thee!
Forgetful.jpg
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John Weiland
pollinator
Posts: 1112
Location: RRV of da Nort
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It's that season again....in addition to spring in the northern hemisphere.
Mother-sDayCard.JPG
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Posts: 59
Location: Canada
2
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This one made me laugh yesterday......
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Zombie rights
 
Jocelyn Campbell
master steward
Posts: 4924
Location: Missoula, MT
680
books food preservation forest garden hugelkultur purity
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Okay, have you all heard of goat yoga? In case you haven't, it is indeed a thing. Who knew?

This was posted in response to that and on April Fool's Day, and I love it!


 
gardener
Posts: 1455
Location: Ladakh, Indian Himalayas at 10,500 feet, zone 5
160
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This was our adventure in planting banana seeds:
planting-bananas-in-ladakh-1.jpg
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planting-bananas-in-ladakh-5.jpg
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pollinator
Posts: 528
Location: Pac Northwest
50
chicken forest garden homestead solar trees wofati
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Jocelyn Campbell
master steward
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Rebecca, I loved your April Fool's prank!

Devin, that was...weird.

Here's what I'm feeling lately.

(source)
your-nose-my-business.jpg
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your nose, my business
 
gardener
Posts: 1751
Location: Just northwest of Austin, TX
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forest garden urban
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You don't want to know how many disturbing cake pans and candy molds I had to scroll through to find these http://bigbangupdates.com/2015/02/daesung-ice-nose-lips.html Just in case you want to have some realistic noses on hand for the next busy body you meet.
 
Jocelyn Campbell
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Casie Becker wrote:You don't want to know how many disturbing cake pans and candy molds I had to scroll through to find these http://bigbangupdates.com/2015/02/daesung-ice-nose-lips.html Just in case you want to have some realistic noses on hand for the next busy body you meet.



BWAHAHAHA!!!

Look at these gummie noses!



Thanks for the laugh, Casie!
 
Jocelyn Campbell
master steward
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I'm trying to work, really I am!!

Here's one I loved from FB:

 
steward
Posts: 2723
Location: Maine (zone 5)
551
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This is not directed at anyone.    just laughed my ass off when I saw it.

 
Jocelyn Campbell
master steward
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Paul sent me this. In part because he knows I do this "magic" for him and I haven't fallen onto the magic coffee table (yet - just kidding!)!



 
pollinator
Posts: 1793
Location: Wisconsin, zone 4
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Two cows are standing in a field.  One says to the other "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"  The other replies "Why?  I'm a helicopter."
 
John Weiland
pollinator
Posts: 1112
Location: RRV of da Nort
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"My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me."    (ba......)

"The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today I’m pretty sure he’s going to get me something."    (......da....)

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.  I gave him a glass of water."    (.......bing)
 
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I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So…


I looked around my house to see the things that I’d started and hadn’t finished:

so I have managed to finish off that bottle of Vodka…

a bottle of Chardonnay…

a bodle of brandee…

a butle of wum…

a pockage of buscuits…

tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins…

the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz….

Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now…i sure got me sum of that inna piss
 
gardener
Posts: 1813
Location: Zone 6b
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Repeat this in front of a mirror until you can deliver it effortlessly:  "Chaos and Entropy ARE design styles for home décor."
The only way to sweep a room is with a glance.
That's NOT dust, it's protective flocking.
IF everything has enough protective flocking it will all MATCH as it will be the same shade.
Those are not weeds, those are the dinner salad for tonight (things such as lamb's quarters and dandelions).

Even a PB&J sandwich tastes better if someone else made it.  ~ heh
 
master steward
Posts: 10575
Location: Left Coast Canada
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Maybe it is just the Canadian in me showing, but I love this old joke... A transcript of a us ship and Canadian radio officer.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call
 
gardener
Posts: 398
Location: Wisconsin, USA Zone 4b-5a
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Posts: 26
Location: western ny 6a
1
trees
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This joke works pretty good on older people and Wal-Mart greeters. Who was the first carpenter? The usual response is Joseph, it was actually Eve, she made Adam's bananna stand...
 
Thyri Gullinvargr
gardener
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"If you water it and it dies, it's a plant. If you pull it out and it grows back, it's a weed."





 
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Destiny Hagest wrote:ahaha! I am loving this thread - all too often I forget how nice it is to just laugh at something absurd. Keep 'em comin' you guys!




So true! I love the shark week cat meme 

 
Posts: 39
Location: Alabama
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John Polk wrote:Or, this classic BBC documentary from Aoril 1, 1957

Oh my, I once convinced a guy spaghetti grew on trees. I called the pasta maple. He believed me!!!

That guy wasn't very bright. I guess I should feel bad, but I don't because he tried to tell me he went to a peanut orchard. :)

 
It's just like a fortune cookie, but instead of a cookie, it's pie. And we'll call it ... tiny ad:
Do you prefer white or black rocket ovens?
https://permies.com/t/90003/prefer-white-black-rocket-ovens
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