Todd Parr wrote:
Judith Browning wrote:
Todd Parr wrote:The biggest disconnect on this thread seems to be the one side thinking that they would have to change for someone, and the other side sees it as doing something for someone.
...and that's perfectly fine
it is a personal issue and choice. I believe Cassie was just wanting to hear other views on it...I'm not sure I see a disconnect really or 'sides'...after all it's just hair and we're all just talking. To me it seems like everyone is saying it's really up to Cassie and her cousin's comfort zone in the end.
I didn't mean it to sound like I thought there was something wrong with it, or with either opinion, just thought it was interesting to see that the discussion seemed to be lining up along those lines. On the contrary, many of my favorite discussions have been when I have someone I know and respect, like some of the people in this thread, that seem to have exactly the opposite opinion from mine. There is much less to be learned if everyone sees everything the same way.
Although this is an old thread, I wanted to point out something I don’t think I’ve seen here, yet. Both of these can be the right stance to take for different people in different situations. On the one hand, there is refraining from people-pleasing, on the other hand, there is humbling yourself to a rule or ideal that to you looks stupid. This can be spiritually beneficial, if, and that’s a big if, you can do it without compromising yourself internally. If you tend towards codependency, you might need to not conform, to maintain a sense of self. But if you tend towards excessive narcissistic behavior (a little bit of narcissism is important) then it’s probably better to suck it up, for the sake of humility. I’ve had both situations come up, in relation to going barefoot. Mostly, I don’t wear shoes, even when asked, because if I could be coerced into wearing shoes, I would wear them most of the time, and that makes me profoundly uncomfortable. But at church, I do wear shoes, not because I think it’s more proper, “take off your shoes, for this is holy ground” but because that’s what my elders expect of me.
So this kind of situation requires a lot of discernment, self-knowledge and dispassionate humility.