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I know we all go through this. Anyone got good coping methods or other advice?
"We're all just walking each other home." -Ram Dass
"Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder."-Rumi
Gardens in my mind never need water https://permies.com/t/75353/permaculture-projects/Gardens-Mind
Castles in the air never have a wet basement https://permies.com/t/75355/permaculture-projects/Maison-du-Bricolage-house
Travis Johnson wrote:Overall it is just perspective, A prudent farmer or homesteaders outlook should never be about the here and now, but be looking seven years out. I mean a farmer or homesteader has to realize it is what we do today that gets reaped 7 years from now. The real issue is not if there are set-backs today, but what will life be like in 7 years? What am I doing today that will put me in a better position 7 years from now?
Your son will not be throwing food because he will be 8-1/2 years old.
Your will have more time spent on harvesting and planting than you will on toddler parenting
Perhaps a few more homesteading goals will be implmented reducing your workload
The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance.~Ben Franklin
Check out Paul's & Mike's kickstarter!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/paulwheaton/skip-0?ref=o3llj3
A build too cool to miss:Mike's GreenhouseA great example:Joseph's Garden
All the soil info you'll ever need:
Redhawk's excellent soil-building series
Work smarter, not harder.
Amit Enventres wrote:... I know we all go through this. Anyone got good coping methods or other advice?
"Also, just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them" (Luke 6:31)
Bee Putnam
Trying to achieve self-reliance on a tiny suburban plot: http://gardenofgaladriel.blogspot.com
Work smarter, not harder.
Gardens in my mind never need water https://permies.com/t/75353/permaculture-projects/Gardens-Mind
Castles in the air never have a wet basement https://permies.com/t/75355/permaculture-projects/Maison-du-Bricolage-house
Come join me at www.peacockorchard.com
Carla Burke wrote:
Travis Johnson wrote:Overall it is just perspective, A prudent farmer or homesteaders outlook should never be about the here and now, but be looking seven years out. I mean a farmer or homesteader has to realize it is what we do today that gets reaped 7 years from now. The real issue is not if there are set-backs today, but what will life be like in 7 years? What am I doing today that will put me in a better position 7 years from now?
Your son will not be throwing food because he will be 8-1/2 years old.
Your will have more time spent on harvesting and planting than you will on toddler parenting
Perhaps a few more homesteading goals will be implmented reducing your workload
A MAJOR change there! Not only will your 1.5 yr old not be throwing/ wasting food, making messes you are stuck cleaning up, but will even be old enough to clean up his/ her own messes, and help in very meaningful ways, toward implementing those homesteading goals. Our kids are a ton of work, in the beginning, but as they grow, if we do it well, they become valuable assets, on the homestead. The Amish actually have a philosophy about training children up that (essentially) boils down to each year of their age, they should be less of a drain, and more of an asset, until by the tender age of 7, they are essential parts of the workings of the farm, responsible for much of the housekeeping, garden weeding, and daily animal chores, entirely unsupervised.
At 1.5 yrs old, they're exploring - after the food and toys are thrown, include the little peanut in the cleanup process - make it a fun game. It's not much - but it's a start. By 2, mine were all helping out by folding washcloths, picking up (most of) their own messes, and doing fetching-type little helps, for me. Not because I'm some militant, slave driving mama, but because as I saw any tiny little thing that they might be capable of (whether in the house, or outside) I made a game of it, and they actually wanted to play, because I made it fun, and participation came with the reward all kids want - positive attention.
Not trying to sound preachy, at all. That was truly my coping mechanism. Their 'entertainment' was chore-games. It kept them busy, productive, out of trouble, and happy - which is probably the only reason I'm still sane, lol
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Travis Johnson wrote:This gets really tough because I know Katie and I cannot get a conversation in where we are not interrupted at least three times by the kids.
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Amit Enventres wrote:Travis, I totally tried the whole: you have kids to escape, I have kids to escape, let's set up an escape plan thing. It turns out though with every person I tried this with is that they don't have time because the kids get sick, other things need to happen, etc. In short, it turns out that over worked young families don't have the infrastructure to support other overworked families. What I think might work is an adopt a grandparent program. I would even go pick up a person who couldn't drive who would just be happy to play with the kids in the other room, even just read them books, once a week. But, I don't have the time or energy to take on one more thing. Maybe I'll do that once my chaos monkey has become a little more tame.
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elle sagenev wrote:Oh, my grossest, most valuable parenting tip: invest in a dog that will eat anything! My kids drop food all the time, I never clean that stuff up. Ahahahahahhahahah
The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance.~Ben Franklin
Check out Paul's & Mike's kickstarter!
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/paulwheaton/skip-0?ref=o3llj3
Travis Johnson wrote:I still think perspective is so important. Like I know it sucks to clean up a mess from a 1.5 year old playing medieval catapult with their spoon, but consider this.
Katie and I would have had a 1.1 year old son right now if he had he made it through pregnancy. I know food is a mess on a kitchen wall, but I really would have loved to see my son chunk food just the same.
It really is perspective.
Like my 6 year old daughter still totes her blanket named "Fuzzy" around like Linneous. My mother (her Grandmother) is INCENSED by that. For Katie and I, her being our fourth daughter, and having lost a son, we could care less if she carries "Fuzzy" down the aisle while getting married. It does not bother us. We pushed the first kids through all the predetermined milestones, but now we just realize kids grow up too quick. Lugging fuzzy around everywhere does not even register on my Giveasweetfuck Factor Scale.
Work smarter, not harder.
Ed Belote wrote:I was in a relationship with a 47 year old woman who still had her blanket, Rose, since childhood. I thought it very odd at first, but later understood that she found comfort in it. Who am I to say that it's ridiculous? I find the same comfort in having a pillow to hold on to, now that we're no longer together, and have always done so when sleeping alone.
elle sagenev wrote:Oh, my grossest, most valuable parenting tip: invest in a dog that will eat anything! My kids drop food all the time, I never clean that stuff up. Ahahahahahhahahah
Travis Johnson wrote:
Ed Belote wrote:I was in a relationship with a 47 year old woman who still had her blanket, Rose, since childhood. I thought it very odd at first, but later understood that she found comfort in it. Who am I to say that it's ridiculous? I find the same comfort in having a pillow to hold on to, now that we're no longer together, and have always done so when sleeping alone.
It is a long story, but I sleep on the couch because we live in a Tiny House. And for whatever reason my cat sleeps with me as I pull out the foot rest and she sleeps there. But two nights ago I forgot to pull out the foot rest, so she had no place to sleep. That was when it turned into a bad children's book.
In searching for someone to sleep with, our cat went from bedroom to bedroom, each time waking up the kids with her presence. Soon she had the whole house up except for me, I sleep so deeply that I could sleep through a convoy of tanks driving by the couch, but when the wife got woken up, all of a sudden I heard a cat screeching and flying through the air down over the stairs.
There is two things my wife likes: sleep, and the kids sleeping.
I have always hated cats, but for some reason this cat and I bonded, and so I kind of felt bad for her: all she wanted was her footrest to sleep on.
"Where will you drive your own picket stake? Where will you choose to make your stand? Give me a threshold, a specific point at which you will finally stop running, at which you will finally fight back." (Derrick Jensen)
The wishbone never could replace the backbone.
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” — Abraham Lincoln