Questions you've always had for guys but never asked.

Loud noises are the fallback strategy we men use to get noticed. If we can't do the job with wit, charm or good looks, we just make so much noise that they have to notice us!

thomas rubino wrote:Oh Ms. Pearl;
The sound of a Harley engine at idle...
A V-8 engine that rumbles...
The unmistakable sound of a high horsepower car passing you on the interstate...
This is music!   A balm to my soul!  

So in answer to your question, it's a stupid guy thing!   Oh and some girls as well (Carla)

I grew up in a mechanic shop. I don’t like when someone drives by loudly for show,  but the start of a good deep purring engine, mmhmm. Good stuff. It’s sexy. And a guy that can work on cars is sexy too. Women that work on cars are badass.  It’s the dirtiness and the grit.

Jordan Holland wrote:

Pearl Sutton wrote:What is it about loud engine noises that appeal to guys?

I don't like them, but I'm guessing it's the notion of power. I always get pissed when I see someone wearing a hat that says, "Loud pipes save lives." If you are really concerned about lives, don't ride a motorcycle. I say this as a motorcycle rider (a quiet one), and I accept full responsibility for my safety. I don't really believe they do it to save lives. I suspect it's far more likely they do it because they like it, and they are trying to weasel their way into justifying the unpleasantness they give to others (especially if it's against the law).

I do like the sound of an opposed two cylinder engine for some reason. And I really like the sound of a steam engine. Just the other day I was watching some restored steam locomotives. There's nothing like them. I like mechanical mechanisms, and sounds that are onomonopeadic to how they work seem to get my attention. For some reason, I do like the sound of an unsuppressed machine gun. Just in the right setting though.

I dislike loud noises, they make me feel dizzy, And I agree with you. As many other things that appeal to our gender _I believe it's a matter of showing who's boss, who's got the power, who has it bigger. A claim to the badass hierarchy, the right to command others, the might to do it. But it's all for the showing or lack of self confidence: true powerful people don't need to show it.

Oh, and as a technician, I understand the feeling of a well tuned machine that sounds like everything is as it should, be it loud or soft.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

Blonde or brunette?

Long hair or short hair?

Make-up or natural looking ...

You tell me what you like ...

I only speak for myself but I like women who are physically fit, whether that be strong or athletic or thin, as long as they take car of themselves. For everything else? you just have  to find what looks good on you. Some women look better with short hair, some with long, some dressed up, some dressed down, my preference is for conservative styles of dress that are still fashionable and fun, but you have to work with what works for you, be attractive in your own way

Betty Garnett wrote:With wisdom and age comes sag. Men mostly age better than women. Obviously depends on preference but my question is, do most older men (45 and up) still desire a tight young bod? Is this a desire or a biological urge to keep reproducing? If you had to pick, young hot and mostly dumb or a bit saggy, attractive enough and more wise?

I think there are many movies about this haha.


 

Sadly, there are over 1000 images per day now in advertising, social media, etc that suggest what women are supposed to look like.

For me that is really sad because I have raised (6) biological, step and foster daughters and it really breaks my heart because all are beautiful, and yet I often hear them say how ugly they feel they are.

Myself, at age 48, I struggle keeping the weight off. Thyroid Cancer packed it on for me, and my double chin shows it. So how can I expect another person my age to be what advertising says she should look like, when I struggle to look ideal myself?

Even then, I said what "advertising suggests" a lady should look like. Myself, I do not find anorexic women to be attractive. If I am to be perfectly honest with you, I like a lady with nice legs, and I will adamantly say... "chicken legs are NOT it for me". I like a lady with a little weight, and I am not alone in thinking that as a male.

But here is the thing, I want a lady to be healthy. In that there is no size or weight to define that. I need to lose some weight myself, but its not in being vain, it is for health reasons. I want the lady in my life to struggle along with me; trying to do better, not so we are insanely attractive, but so that we can grow old together. Do things together. Get things done together. But that sounds selfish, and I don't mean for it to be. I want her to be healthy for her own good.

But isn't that my job? As a father? As a Boyfriend/Husband? To constantly combat the world and all those images that she sees on a daily basis, and constantly tell the woman in my life...CONVINCE HER... she is indeed beautiful?

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

Blonde or brunette?

Long hair or short hair?

Make-up or natural looking ...

You tell me what you like ...

Business or professional looking?  Appropriate for the venue.  Be it holy painters clothes or dressed up or branding clothing .

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...  On the right body nice, others not so much.

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?  Works for me.

Blonde or brunette?  In descending order red heads, blondes, brunette.  But not real critical

Long hair or short hair? Nearly always long.

Make-up or natural looking ... depends on the venue.  To paraphrase a PBS video on the Hampton ranch not someone who would wear makeup to a branding.  Prefer to do more plain venues than fancy ones.  which skews the curve.

You tell me what you like ...

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

I am probably different than most guys, but myself, I like a lady dressed nice, at least when we go out. It does not have to be a skirt or dress, but I like them. Jeans and a frumpy sweat shirt just does not cut it for me. At home... sure... why not, but not going out? And if it matters, I dress nice too, like in a going-to-church nice sort of way with slacks, shoes that match the color of my pants no matter what I am wearing, and a nice button-down shirt. And colors like pink, magenta and green do not scare me either. I just like to look put together, and when a lady does (even if it is leggings and a nice blouse that color matches), I notice that.

Anne Miller wrote:Blonde or brunette?

It does not matter to me. At age 48, a lot of ladies my age are starting to get gray hair, or salt and pepper, which I find attractive. If they were blonde or brunette, or chose to dye their hair, that is their prerogative. I am not going to shame anyone for any color of their hair. I do prefer it not to be in a rat nest and unbrushed if we are going out, but please don't fret about your hair color...

Anne Miller wrote:Long hair or short hair?

Oh you had to ask, didn't you? (Teasing). Its hard to say because I cannot define it, but some ladies look good with shorter hair, and some look better I think with longer hair. I can't say what that is and when, but I know it when I see it. My only advice is to try different ways and just have fun with your husband/boyfriend together on this. Find out together what you both like.

Anne Miller wrote:Make-up or natural looking ...

I like a little bit of make-up, but trust me when I say... not much. I like a little bit of contrast. I am not tuned into make-up styles, but a little lipstick is nice, but not too bright in shade as an example. I know painted finger nails is not conducive to gardening, but its nice to hold a ladies hand and have a bit of red contrast, or french manicure look so I know I am not holding my own hand. That is what I mean by contrast. But to go all gaudy like a teenage girl going on a date...please don't do that.

Terry Wilson wrote:What do you think women (I am an old woman) wonder about?

I think what men wonder about, is the same thing you do: the difficulties of life, hoping not to go through life alone, but now older, having a more realistic expectation of relationships.

At our ages, it is different. It's no longer just about sex, and meeting the milestones of life like; kids, career, and homes because those things have been achieved,  but rather who is out there for you who will help make your days go as easy as possible. Somewhere we have all been deeply hurt, and I think you wonder, as I do, who will understand those vulnerabilities, and yes... flaws that I have, and realize none of us is perfect, and loves us anyway.

Where to find them? I am not sure, but I can tell you where I searched, they were not there either.

But maybe we are all in the same place and don't realize it: hurting the same way, but too scared to hurt again, so we also never love again either? In that, we guard ourselves from being hurt, but also lose out on the thrill of love too.

Diane Frenser wrote:What goes through a man’s mind when they ghost a woman or after three months of dating decides, nah I didn’t mean anything I said and now I’m out of here?

Obviously, it depends on the situation, and it's easy to point a finger at the guy but I've broken up with a woman after things seemed to be going in a more serious direction.  I was quite happy about it, too.  ...until she started slipping.  I soon realized that she was pretending to be someone that she couldn't maintain.  The helpful smile turned into an entitled malaise.  Her interest in her own health turned into sitting around eating ice cream as soon as she felt comfortable in our relationship.  She completely didn't understand how I could "like her one minute then not the next".  Any attempt I made at explanation was faced with screaming and ridicule so I walked away and never looked back.  ...which one might interpret as ghosting.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

Blonde or brunette?

Long hair or short hair?

Make-up or natural looking ...

You tell me what you like ...

Fitness.  Health.  Hair colour doesn't matter.  Prefer no makeup.  Dress casual, but not slutty.  A girl who's showing too much skin is a sign that she's been around the block and will likely continue to go around.

Yeah, health and fitness beats anything else.  After that, someone motivated, and friendly.  ...and people who exercise tend to be those things.  Last, this is something you might not find out right away, but someone loyal.  No man wants to waste his time wondering what his girlfriend/wife is up to every second of the day.

The loud noises and farts questions...

I don't care if a woman farts.  I know she's going to fart.  ...and poop.  Everyone poops.  Can we get over it...?

I've never been a fan of loud engines, or making a lot of noise to draw attention to oneself.  I've found it more beneficial to fly under the radar in most situations.  Perhaps it has something to do with being an athlete, and an actor and having "fans".  Perhaps its all those years of playing hide and seek as a kid.  Whatever it is I'd rather take the stealthy approach to things.  ...although I hear that if you run at a deer yelling at it, it'll die of overheating before a human.  

A lot of people have been weighing in with this one, so I will go ahead and offer my own insights as well. Obviously these opinions are all based on my own personal experiences.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

I find that I prefer the clothing to match the situation. I've never liked pant suits, but professional and feminine in a work setting can be attractive. Tight jeans work for some women, not others. It's a lot about what assets you want to highlight and what suits you. Hiking shoes and old clothes for working on a farm or hiking can be just as good as a sleek black dress on date night. In every situation, it's about fitting into the task at hand while accentuating the feminine elements.

Anne Miller wrote:Blonde or brunette?

Long hair or short hair?

I've never really cared what hair color a girl has, but an odd majority of past girlfriends were red heads. Second most common were brunettes. I've always preferred longer hair. Many short cuts end up looking a bit like young boys in my experience. Not always, but it can be pretty hit or miss.

Anne Miller wrote:Make-up or natural looking ...

This is a trick question. A huge number of men I have met say they prefer a woman without makeup. While I do find women without makeup attractive and women with a lot of makeup less attractive, there's a balance point. The best of both worlds is when she can wear makeup that enhances her beauty by being so subtle you don't realize right away that she's even wearing any. A light hand on makeup seems to be the ideal.

Anne Miller wrote:You tell me what you like ...

On a personal level, I find that I don't have as much of a type as other men. I know some things that I find less attractive physically, but if the woman has a personality that fits with me, I tend to start seeing her as beautiful anyway. I prefer larger chests. I grew up around women who all had larger chests and so small chests have always felt 'underage' to me. It's not a conscious feeling, but I just don't feel drawn to them for that child-like sense. Since people can't control that, I try not to dwell on it. For things someone can control about themselves, I dislike fakeness. Dyed hair, heavy makeup, etc.

I am also strongly drawn to femininity. Not the ditzy 'tee hee' feminine thing, but something where she doesn't feel the need to mimic men to be powerful. If that makes any sense. A lot of modern women I have met seem caught up on presenting a false strength that reminds me of a tiny dog barking as hard as it can to assert itself around larger dogs. (Note: not every one is false, but the ones who are forcing it feel different.) I have interacted with several who had this sort of mentality and over time they found that it didn't make them as happy as embracing a deeper part of themselves that wasn't stand-off-ish. Still strong, but in a new way. It's probably a bit more involved to explain than the scope of the question here.

The short answer to everything for me if you want the TL:DR answer is that being feminine and real are the most attractive things a woman can be/do.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Business or professional looking?

Tight-fitting jeans, from the song ...

Just jeans and t-shirt kind of gal?

Blonde or brunette?

Long hair or short hair?

Make-up or natural looking ...

You tell me what you like ...

Be genuine.

If you're simple, be simple. If you like jeans, wear jeans. Don't be the fake blonde that can't keep up with the roots. Don't be the "educated" one that regurgitates TV news and fancy magazines' op-eds without actually having studied the issue. Don't do make up that Marilyn Manson would be scared of just because it's not really your thing but you feel you have to do it. Don't try to be a guy, unless it is your actual nature. Simply don't pretend, lie or have secret secondary motives - it always catches up with you.

The rest is [enter favourite farm animal]sh!t.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

Eyes that smile along with the the mouth whether a Mona Lisa smile or a toothy grin.
An easy laugh
Sometimes a sprinkling of freckles is cute, across the nose or somewhere else.
Hair at least long enough to run your fingers through either short or long . But with long hair you can smell her neck and face, you may think I'm weird but just like holding your child for the first time you remember that skin scent.
Not clingy but present.
With or without make up, The swimming pool test, If she has confidence with your seeing her coming out of the water with wet hair and no make up, that confidence is all the make up she needs.
Can dance in heels is nice but dancing barefoot is good too.

I wonder about things like the origins of reality, human evolution, underlying causes of things from subconscious motivations to whether or not this or that movie, commercial/ad, or news story is cultural engineering or propaganda. I wonder about the future of humanity quite a bit.

I do not care if women fart any more than I care if men do. I think in most contexts its rude  and an indication of ones character whether they try to hold it in and release it somewhere more appropriate place that won't offend the senses of a group of people or whether they don't care and let it rip. Smelling someone else's fart is gross, I don't think too many people would argue otherwise, but I understand that a few rare people may actually like it.

If a woman I was dating seriously, or girlfriend was afraid to fart around me I might be offended by that, more than if she did fart around me. When I was married my wife and I would hang out with each other in the bathroom while the other one pooped so its all about the context and situation.

I certainly don't judge women harsher for farting, in fact it might be the other way around because if a woman farts she is going against a social norm which could make her seem more interesting. I think farting is like many other things that women think men care about but that most of us could care less about, like eyebrows.

As far as the young vs older, I am 47 and do find women younger than me attractive, but my interest in them is less and less so I don't really consider them as potential pair bond match so they don't get the attention from me they used to. As I age I'm finding myself more attracted to women older than me in general, but the last woman I felt any significant attraction to was alot younger than me at 34. On dating apps my age group that I set in the settings to is usually kept at 37 and up, but I met the younger woman in real life, and my attraction to her was not primarily a physical attraction. I don't normally consider women that much younger than me as some one I'd be interested in dating.

What sort of look or appearance I am attracted is not a strict set thing in my mind. In have noticed I tend to end up and do well with a certain personality type (INFJ, but I do not seek them out) as opposed to body/image/cultural/ethnic types, but I find modesty very attractive and also I do NOT like make up and perfumes. I do not wear any cologne or anything like that either. It all makes me sick headache/nausea and I've never associated make up with making them actually look more attractive. Au naturale is how they actually look and where their actual beauty can be seen. I actually thought my exwifes body order smelled amazing, I loved it.

This man actually HATES loud noises. I don't mind the sound of a chan saw if I am using one, or if I'm getting fire wood with some one, or the sound of power tools when I'm using them, but I prefer the smell of gas, sawdust, and gun powder to the sounds coming from the same sources.

I'm a person who spends most of my time in my head thinking, and admittedly for most of the time I have to take in sensory information and think about it before processing and so incredibly loud noises are invasive, and cause instant sensory over load. I HATE motorcycles and souped up engines, and think the people who make those noises thinking they're cool, or to show off are maybe a little simpleminded and that they themselves are probably easily impressed, and easily fooled, and that they fool themselves into thinking they are impressing anyone by a loud noise.

However I think they do that because some women actually do like that. On a dating app if I read in a profile anything about motorcycles its an instant deal breaker and left swipe for sure. Not my cup o' tea.

Anne Miller wrote:In general, what do men like in appearance for a woman?

feral and feminine lol

its ironic that the most attractive look is just natural uncut hair, plain clothes, without makeup.

its ironic that the most attractive look is just natural uncut hair, plain clothes, without makeup.

I don't think this is ironic. Most men seem to prefer less flashy clothing and less or no makup. I think many of the modifications and accessories that women wear are probably encouraged more by women then men.

Matt McSpadden wrote:Its ironic that the most attractive look is just natural uncut hair, plain clothes, without makeup.

I don't think this is ironic. Most men seem to prefer less flashy clothing and less or no makup. I think many of the modifications and accessories that women wear are probably encouraged more by women then men.

Agreed.  Not ironic at all.  It may seem ironic to those who use magazines and social media to try and figure out what men want.  The artificiality of both of those sources is not accidental.  

Clean and well-kept goes a long way.  It really isn't hard.

This wasn't really asked, but just in case women are curious... here are a couple of things to keep in mind. (Guys, back me up on this)

A man might enjoy a certain type of woman, who dresses and acts a certain way, for a party or a short fling, but this is nothing like what he wants for a wife. They are two very different sets of criteria.

Much (probably most) of the time, a man has to settle for the woman he can get, not for the woman he wants. So don't say that men want women with x, y, and z, simply because that is what the guys ended up with. Chances are, they actually wanted a, b, and c, and had to settle for x, y, and z.

Matt McSpadden wrote:A man might enjoy a certain type of woman, who dresses and acts a certain way, for a party or a short fling, but this is nothing like what he wants for a wife. They are two very different sets of criteria.

Ding! Ding! Ding!  We have a winner.

Most men will categorize women into two basic categories: those that are fine for "fun" and those that are potential long-term/wife material.  "Fun" women that spend their 20s sleeping around, having a body count of dozens or even hundreds, possibly 1+ kids and accumulated psychological trauma by the time they are in their 30s and want to marry will be considered poor wife material (older, far less fertile (90% of eggs gone), carrying too much baggage, no ability to sustain commitment).

Sorry, but the pattern of concentrating on career and acting sexually more like a man (wants to) in your 20s and delaying family does women no favors in the long term.

A speculative generalization about the minds of "most men" seems identical to a speculation about the minds of "most women". With a simple inversion of nouns, this:

Most men will categorize women into two basic categories: those that are fine for "fun" and those that are potential long-term/wife material.  "Fun" women that spend their 20s sleeping around, having a body count of dozens or even hundreds, possibly 1+ kids and accumulated psychological trauma by the time they are in their 30s and want to marry will be considered poor wife material (older, far less fertile (90% of eggs gone), carrying too much baggage, no ability to sustain commitment).

Sorry, but the pattern of concentrating on career and acting sexually more like a man (wants to) in your 20s and delaying family does women no favors in the long term.

becomes this:

Most women will categorize men into two basic categories: those that are fine for "fun" and those that are potential long-term/husband material.  "Fun" men that spend their 20s sleeping around, having a body count of dozens or even hundreds, possibly 1+ kids and accumulated psychological trauma by the time they are in their 30s and want to marry will be considered poor husband material (older, far less fertile (90% of sperm gone), carrying too much baggage, no ability to sustain commitment).

Sorry, but the pattern of concentrating on career and acting sexually in your 20s and delaying family does men no favors in the long term.