The aging homesteader

Thekla McDaniels wrote: That’s a good idea.  I have a hard time with passwords.  I think I could remember them if I made an effort, made a memory tag of some kind, but it seems like so much work!

A song might do it!

A sentence or phrase may help, but now some passwords are not only long, but they demand special characters, or numbers, capitals as well as lower case, and it's a PITA if you have intermittent memory issues.

Too many people give up and let the computer remember their password, then the computer has a problem and they can be locked out.

John F Dean wrote:How come I can’t remember my passwords, but I can remember all the words to Ronnie Hawkin’s “Mary Lou”? ....  

Out of curiosity, can you recite the words as text or do you sing the words inside or outside your head?  I ask because my mother, deceased last fall at 92, had sung in church choir most of her adult life.  Age finally took its toll on her voice and energy to participate, but she was still singing in the choir up into her 70s.  What is interesting is that a stroke put her out of work in her early 60s and for many years that followed she had difficulty remembering things, forming sentences, and grasping certain words (aphasia).....while speaking.  But she remained in the choir because none of this impacted her ability to remember song lyrics and string words together uninterrupted in her singing.  Whatever neurological blocks that appeared due to the stroke were competely bypassed when she sang.

Hi John,

It is pretty common for people who stutter to be able to sing.

While I am still active and in pretty good health I have been doing safety inspections and corrections around my homestead. I am checking hand rails on stairs to be sure they are in place and will bear the weight of a serious fall.  In some cases this have involved a serious rebuilding.

I took the time to watch both myself and my wife as we moved around the house and property.  The house was build according to code.  Unfortunately humans don’t always travel about their property according to code.  So, with that information, I identified spots that needed a little more attention safety wise.  

To explain a little further. One of my discoveries was that when my wife gets out of bed, she stands by the bed for a few seconds. ..to get her bearings and to get circulation moving.  If she should fall, she has the bed to fall on.  But what if she does not fall in the direction of the bed?  We now have a grab bar mounted on the nearest wall and within her reach.

Safety is important.  So is humor

John F Dean wrote:To explain a little further. One of my discoveries was that when my wife gets out of bed, she stands by the bed for a few seconds. ..to get her bearings and to get circulation moving.  If she should fall, she has the bed to fall on.  But what if she does not fall in the direction of the bed?  We now have a grab bar mounted on the nearest wall and within her reach.

I’m getting physical therapy for strengthening and balance.

The one of my current assignments is:

When I stand up especially from a long period of sitting or lying, first stand up, then gently draw my bellybutton towards my spine, not a lot just about an inch, then tighten both right and left glutes, and just stand there half a minute (or more).

I have noticed a big difference after just a week, doing this and several other exercises, but probably many can benefit from it.  For one thing, people with orthostatic hypotension ( feeling dizzy when you first stand or sit up) will still be safe when they get dizzy.

John F Dean wrote:Maybe I need to write this off as paranoia, but I have developed a new safety practice for inclement weather.  I set a timer for when I go outside to alert my wife that there may be a problem.  I set it for 2x the timespan I think it should take.

That's a really sensible safety habit, especially when working outside alone. I sometimes calculate the actual return time rather than just thinking "I'll be back in a couple of hours" - it makes it easier to tell someone exactly when to expect me. There's a simple tool that can help: https://time-calculator.net/hours-from-now.html

I just landed on a Prepper thread on Permies.  While I am not into Prepping, I do see where it has a place.  This is especially so for those up us who live relatively remotely and are up in years.  What if we are in a position where we cannot or have difficulty getting off our homestead for a few weeks or months?  What measures can we take to be reasonably prepared?

John F Dean wrote:I just landed on a Prepper thread on Permies.  While I am not into Prepping, I do see where it has a place.  This is especially so for those up us who live relatively remotely and are up in years.  What if we are in a position where we cannot or have difficulty getting off our homestead for a few weeks or months?  What measures can we take to be reasonably prepared?

Food storage for things that you eat and eat what you store.

I have extra things that are needed like bandaids and snacks.

My neighbor no longer has a running vehicle so he orders everything online.

Water storage. Long term, and *LOTS* of it. And, it needs to be easily accessible - easy to get to - where you'll need it, and easy to draw from, preferably via gravity. Having all the water next to the house won't do any good, if it's needed for livestock, a garden, or in a greenhouse. So, if any of those things could be an issue, water supplies are best in all the places where they will be needed.

Hi Carla,

I suspect you hit upon one area that separates Regular Preppers from homesteaders.  We have to consider food, water, and medication for the livestock.  I am in the process of reducing/eliminating the livestock I do have.   After I made my post, I took a Quick Look at a couple of Prepper sites.  I noticed that while there was a concern  about water for drinking. Water for bathing and cleaning was not really addressed.

And in all the planning, I like to include the possibility that all utilities might be off for an extended period of time.

I am apt to have 50 + pounds of grains in my pantry.  Normally I use an electric mill to grind them.  But I do have a hand crank mill.

Where I am not so well prepared is in refrigerator and freezer.  No back ip plan there as yet.

And water, it comes to my property gravity flow through a water company.  Most people relying on the water company have cisterns and a pressure pump and tank.  I have a meter.

Should a shut in event occur, it will most likely be in winter, due to heavy snow.  In which case I will be melting snow…

Hi Thekla,

I see winter as a danger, but this summer’s we also saw an extended period of 100+ degree weather.  I could see some excitement coming from that direction as well.  

Are you subject to flooding, John?  That kind of danger, or the possibility of being without?

Trick question.   Flooding is common in my area.  My property is not subject to flooding. We are on a hill.  There is a real possibility of me ending up on an island.  If so, most likely there will be 9 households on that island…give or take a couple.   There are  four roads that connect me with civilization. I have seen 3 of 4 flooded and impassible. The fourth as passible but exciting.

Very interesting life you live.  A temporary  island with just a few neighbors.

I miss read your post.  I thought you said you saw water as a danger.  Now I see it says winter, plain as day.

We’re in a curious situation here, having had such a hot summer and dry winter last year.  

We’re all hoping for a “hard “ winter.  But my driveway is a quarter mile long…. What if it snows and snows and then snows again as it does in a hard winter?

I have chickens enough that I get a dozen or more eggs a week, and a goat I milk, but she could dry up, and-or die of old age.  It could snow enough that she gets tired of foraging under the snow.

So many what if’s 😊.

I guess the only thing is to prepare as well as I reasonably can, and believe that I will be able to cope with whatever comes.  And trust that my neighbors will help me if I need it.

I think about the next big adventure, not overly much, but I think it’s not uncommon for “conscious “ living people to consider death.  Friends, family members, the adults, politicians and musicians among them that figured in our lives, are dying.

Permies has been an important part of my life since I registered in about 2011.  Many permies I never met in person, nor am I likely to, I consider friends.

How will I know when they have died?  It was common knowledge when Toby Hemenway (author of Gaia’s Garden) died.  But how about the rest of us?

Are there others who would like to know as we lose ourselves?

Does anyone have any ideas?  
It’s not like I could post that I died.  I don’t think anyone in my daily life has any idea of my connection to this community.

Just a thought.😊. Nothing pressing.

I am planning to live to see the return of Halley’s comet in 2061.  Something may happen along the way, but if not, I will be 110 years old.  I will likely die within the next week though.🤣

I saw the comet in 1986, but it wasn’t spectacular, tail and sunlight didn’t coincide well.  But in a good Halley’s comet year, it lights up half the night sky.  In a dark sky place it will be spectacular.  In a light washed out city, I  think it will still be prominent, not something you have to “know where to look for “ to behold.

As I said, nothing pressing here with me.  Plenty of time to consider it.

As I am sure you know, from time to time someone makes a post asking … or informing us…about the death of a member.  I suspect Paul could implement a policy declaring that anyone who does not give a 30 days notice prior to death will be kicked off the site.  That should get some cooperation!!

Pearl would probably be the first on permies to know & share that info on mine - and likely, the reverse would be true, as well. But, I've often wondered if any of my neighbors would know, if I went missing. I'm on good terms with all of them, but our house isn't visible from the road, and it's not unusual for everyone on the road to come and go without anyone knowing it.

Thekla: Give the people who don't know or care a list of contacts to inform. I don't get along with my siblings, they have never been on permies, or as far as I can tell even read anything I wrote. But they do have a list of "people to tell if I die" and there are several permies on it.

As to whether anyone would NOTICE if I die..... iffy.  One neighbor might.  Might.  

My death plans are to die suddenly down in my pasture and no one find my body till the buzzards are done.  That's my ideal death :D  

I told y'all my mom died. That leaves me alone, so I made arrangements for some folks to at least notify people.
Part of being older and alone means you HAVE to plan it out yourself, not just trust someone will magically know who you care about.

I didn’t know your mother died.  I’m very sorry to hear it.

People, I do think we need to consider creating a system so that at least someone knows if you didn't make it through the night.

Something like a deal with someone in a similar position, that every morning you will send them an email or text, and they will send one in return - good both still breathing...

This is doubly important if you have animals who aren't in a position to care for themselves. Dying of thirst is one of the most cruel ways to die, and your animals deserve better than that.

True story: My Aunt had just lost her license due to the onset of dementia. She was still managing in her own home as her son and daughter were nearby and supportive. They arranged for a friend to pick her up for an outing. She didn't answer the door. The neighbor had a key, and they found her dead on the bathroom floor of a heart attack. This was *totally* unexpected. She was very active, and still played badminton with other seniors.

So as much as Pearl is happy not to be found until after the buzzards are done with her (I believe the Romans used buzzards to deal with corpses in some places were there wasn't space to bury people.) for most of us, it is kinder to others to have a system in place so that someone will raise an alert when you're done with your corporeal body.

Pearl Sutton wrote:...

My death plans are to die suddenly down in my pasture and no one find my body till the buzzards are done.  That's my ideal death :D  

Yup....we have a 'deep enough' river by our house.  I'll have the log raft ready and will tell wife or other close friends to lay me on it, put match to the kindling and push it from shore.

Thekla McDaniels wrote:.....But in a good Halley’s comet year, it lights up half the night sky.  In a dark sky place it will be spectacular.  In a light washed out city, I  think it will still be prominent, not something you have to “know where to look for “ to behold.

As I said, nothing pressing here with me.  Plenty of time to consider it.

Couldn't help myself:        

But yes, good to think about these things just so people know.  For a site like Permies.com, I likely would tell a family member or friend just to hit the "Contact" page and leave the information there.

I wrote a reply to Jay’s idea of check in buddies, which I think is excellent and modifiable to suit all preferences, but I side tracked myself into cider press and ulcer factory material re medical care in my region so I didn’t submit, and now it’s late and I am tired.  

Love the Halley’s comet song, John.  Thanks for posting it

The fact is many of us have chosen a relatively isolated path of life.  I suspect this is one of the natural consequences. I have long known that my final years would challenge my independence.  But I am willing to pay a high price to maintain my independence.

I had a pretty bizarre day yesterday.  I taught a class at a community college for a couple of days near where Eric lives.  That was a total of 8 hours of class time over the two days plus about a 60 mile drive each way.

The first day wasn’t a problem.. Anyway, yesterday I got home around 3pm and took a nap. My wife woke me up after 3 hours. I took care of the live stock and threw myself across the bed again. I woke up at 6 am.  I think that is around 14 hours of sleep. I had been flirting with the idea of taking on a regular job to fund a few special projects. From this experience, I think the answer is NO.  

I won’t go into the hours I used to work without breaking a sweat, it is pretty clear I can’t do that now.  I do have a few more classes scheduled through the first month of next year that should give me a clearer picture. But, I am not holding out much hope.

Maybe a part time job?

Jay Angler wrote:People, I do think we need to consider creating a system so that at least someone knows if you didn't make it through the night.

Yes! this is important...a courtesy to friends and family if nothing else.
We had a house bound friend who I convinced to get a cell phone just for a daily text to me...she did just that and if she missed a day we went over to check on her.
What struck me about that situation though was that she was very private about her wishes related to end of life and had not been to a doctor for 20 years even though her health was bad and getting worse.
She would only say who we should call when we found 'the body'....not what to do for that in between part where she might be alive but injured or all kinds of other scenarios...We were her only visitors who were aware of her failing health.
Family lived far away and it turns out she was not sharing her health problems with them.

The upshot of all of this is that things got taken out of her hands and she ended up in a nursing home after she fell, could not get up and she herself used the cell phone to call an ambulance....once in the medical loop they would not let her come home because of her health and she died several months later in the awful situation she thought she could avoid.

That's a long winded way to say, no matter what your ideals are for end of life and how independent you think you are it always involves others, inadvertantly maybe but still.
I think it's important especially to think about ones wishes for that long illness or possibility of being stuck in bed and needing daily care...if we are older our spouses are likely older too ..will our kids be a caregiver? our closest friend?

Howdy,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfF0x8e38Kg

John F Dean wrote:I won’t go into the hours I used to work without breaking a sweat, it is pretty clear I can’t do that now.  

I hear you. Lately my paid work is out of control (which is why I've not been around here much) and a family member had a medical scare where I was needed as a caregiver.
It got very clear that while I can balance some plates, I can't balance all the plates. Some configurations are okay: Work, commute, food. Work, commute, kids. Work, garden, animals. Work, caregiver, animals. Work, animals, food. but Work, caregiver, animals, food, commute and there just are not enough hours in the day (nor enough hours of sleep to recover).
(it's spring, and not a darn thing has been planted yet. the fruit is on a tree in the front yard and not picked. the animals are fed every day and that's about it. Last night I cooked dinner for the first time in ages.)

Hi Tereza,

Yes, on the time vs money equation, I seem to be on the wrong end of both.  



Thekla,

I already have the PT time job.   It is that job that forced me to confront that full time is out of the question.  I am presently try I g to deal with exactly how part time that job needs to be.  There no doubt I can do the work when I am on the clock. The issue seems to be if I can deal with the aftermath.  I am not ready to make that call yet, but I am astounded at how exhausted I was.

It's good that you have a lifetime of work, management, and also health expertise that will let you test and analyze and potentially plan.
Maybe you can come up with a schedule that might be brutal for two days but give you time to recover. And if you know Monday and Wednesday are your crazy days, for example, you can prepare.

I am finally seeing the end of my craziness. My dear husband is fine, after several weeks of panic, preps, tests and scans.
I figured out if I got up early I could take advantage of my sharp morning brain and I got more done than if I were working normal hours. Shoehorn an extra nap in there and it all worked out. It took some planning, but it allowed me to be where I needed to be while also getting my stuff done. Some things were sacrificed, like Pilates classes- the gym keeps sending me messages asking me if I'm still alive (they're subtle...) but that is not a priority right now.
Maybe you have an option to teach remotely every so often, that would cut out the commute time? Or some other way to tweak work? If anyone can figure it out, I imagine it will be you.

I should’ve known you had the part time thing figured out.

I am amazed how tired I get, and how disrespectful I can be to myself when I say “I didn’t get anything done”.  I had to quit that!  Now I count having a rest or nap as an accomplishment.

When I go to town for errands , visiting, medical appointments (just shy of 2 hours each way),  that really tires me out.  Before now, I never realized how taxing it was to coordinate my tasks, interact with people, shop in unfamiliar settings (even the same shop changes arrangements, inventory, employees).

When I finally get home, I just want to sit in the recliner and do nothing.

Best of luck, John, in surviving the figuring it out phase! 😊

Yep.  I just beat myself this morning for not having had more accomplished this week.

I get it. I had a part time job at the coffee shop for about 8 months. Two days per week - Sundays and Wednesdays. Granted, they were long days - 6:15am to 4pm - but, I could sit whenever I needed to, the boss was a very generous friend, and it was only insanely busy during tourist season. After the initial first few weeks, the recovery time leveled out, for a couple months. Then, my recovery time started increasing, again - to the point that I was much worse off than at the initial getting used to it stage. It gradually got worse and worse, until I was so depleted, I couldn't even manage a couple hours and got really sick.

Now, I'm struggling to find other ways to help make ends meet, that I can actually maintain. I think it's going to come down to odd jobs that I can do when I'm able. Yeh. THAT'S going to be easy to figure out. 🙄

John F Dean wrote:Yep.  I just beat myself this morning for not having had more accomplished this week.

Although I hesitate to use the following word to make a recommendation to a career educator?.....   Un-learning.  I've had to un-learn more than a few things to stay on the path towards more relaxed physical, mental, and emotional wanderings in retirement, but it truly can help to 'let-go' of a some of our cherished staples in our lives.  One of the first was the expectations from work....even though no longer employed.  The problem was work projects that I had initiated for the team that I supervised....and with the stroke, suddenly needed to back away into retirement.  On one level it was work that other colleagues could take on themselves, but on another level we all were hired for vunique expertises and therefore gaps in understanding would be expected. But in the end, I had to take that different view of the situation where I had seen numerous times other supervisors suddenly exit, either for health and retirement or for new jobs elsewhere, and after some rough transitions, everyone and everything came out okay.  In fact, possibly better because those being superised got a quick lesson in how to re-plan a project or career path when such an event occurs.  The unlearning here was that the world will not fall apart in one's absence.  (Side note....this had a precedent in our family where my brother and I made up for a rather absent father....constantly making sure that our mother was not sinking into another depression.)

More acceptance than un-learning was the physical and mental energy required and expended around the homestead.  For sure, age just starts chipping away at strength and endurance, but also at planning and clarity. The latter can be frustrating when adding a new building or addtion, but also can be quite costly if one is forgetting that property taxes were due last month or you've overdrawn an account multiple times without realizing it (overdraft protection having its own price tag).  As I type this, I'm preparing to frame out a new addition to an outbuilding with the most rudimentary initial install of the stud-work.....and I've had to accept how terribly paltry this effort is with respect to past days when the entire framing job would be done in a day!

What has been helpful in this regard is truly engaging with the surroundings that we were fortunately to find as a homestead those decades ago.  The last of the fall leaves are coming down in the wind, the sky is a slate gray with hints of rain, but the gurgling of the beaver dam just upstream from the edge of the south deck is so relaxing.  It provides, in a small way, the 'stay-cation' or travel-at-home effect if one lets it in in a sort of meditative way.  More importantly and relevant to the discussion, there is a new calm that renders the dissatisfaction at "projects not done" less potent over time.

Whoops!.....big thunderclap overhead and downpour.  Looks like I will be waiting until tomorrow for that framing job.  Hmmm....I haven't made a good pan of cornbread in a while......  :-)

Carla Burke wrote:....Yeh. THAT'S going to be easy to figure out. 🙄

I understand this feeling.  Over the weekend, had chance to visit an old friend....a professional musician in Minneapolis who made a livable wage for live peformance, then transitioned to teaching which has been more steady.  But we are both mid-60s and his hands are beginning to wear out--and he's getting a bit worried about how much longer he can go.  We started joking about doing "only fans" and taking the whole platform by storm (high sarcasm) but then pondered more seriously the concept of "minimally monetized"......the least-work engagement with social media that could legally and ethically birth some cash payouts.  Sort of like 'penny stocks' for the autumn years.  Due to the million monkeys on a million keyboards that describes the larger internet, I suspect most of these stones have been looked under already.  Sigh..... it does seem a difficult position to navigate for sure!

My side hustle is handmade soap.

I established a market years ago.

It retails for about $9 per bar.  I let the shop keeper set the price.  I wholesale for $7.00 or less depending on if it’s a friend who’s been buying for 20 years.

It is VERY good soap.  Once i got the recipe just right, I haven’t changed it.

All the cost of production goes into the quality of the soap, the experience of using it, how your skin feels after use.

No glitter or fancy wrapping!  Wrapped in newsprint roll ends with computer printer paper lable secured with a glue stick.

No fragrance oils, only botanicals… meaning essential oils. No weird or processed pigments, I use clay, chlorophyll, turmeric, powdered walnut holes, alkanet root that kind of thing.

I also make a high-quality skin cream, same standards, no weird, emulsifying wax, no fragrances, etc. etc. etc..


Reason I mentioned it is because possibly others have very particular niche products they can sell.

With a few reasonable caveats, I would be willing to share my recipes and the best suppliers I have found, if someone looks at making cold process soap and thinks they want to give it a try.

I would like to quit making soap, but what would all my customers do, who only want mine? And what would I use? Not that I use that much soap anymore, but I still need some.

Five or six years ago, I cut my large mold boxes down andstarted making smaller batches of soap because the bucket of liquid soap was getting heavy. Not that I couldn’t lift it, but it was clumsy, and the soap before curing is caustic.

We have been having a lot of rain. It is incredibly wonderful. The Feed in the pastures is like spring time!

One day last week, it was sunny and I had to work very hard to get most of the house, painting finished, and then I needed to make soap. That level of work used to be no big deal to me. The coordination and the concentration required to keep multiple projects moving forward was something I used to do every day.

Once I was done, I was astonishingly exhausted.  The next day I could very much tell that I had overexerted.

Then I went to pick up a couple bushels of apples from my regular apple farmer and he carried them and put them in the car. I used to carry my own boxes of apples. I said out loud I’m turning into an old lady! I didn’t used to be an old lady.  But I do remember when this man was a boy his grandparents bragged about. His grandparents were nice people…..

The hardest part for me is being at peace with things not getting done because I am out of oomph!