Accessing Good Food in a Toxic Shitstorm

This is strongly worded for a reason. This is because, as I learn more, there is more and more I have to pay attention to to ensure that the food that I am eating is indeed good for me and not causing problems. But even more importantly that the food I eat will benefit me and improve my health and make me thrive!

I am currently reading Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon, and I am learning that things are even worse than I thought they were. I thought the filters that I had for deciding on what was good food and wasn't, based on living primally, were awesome, but I'm now learning there is even more that I have to be wary of and on the look out for. And this makes me a little anxious with the holidays approaching, because people think that some of these things they call "food" are okay, but they're not. And now that my eyes are opening even more than before, I'm seeing that what there is out there for me to eat that meets my newer higher standards is very little. So, I have been searching for how to get access to things that are mostly according to my higher standards during the holidays.

So far, I have learned about the:
Weston A. Price Foundation
Real Milk Finder
EatWild

And specific to where I'll be in the holidays (Houston):
Houston Farm to Home

So, my questions for you all are:
1) How do you get access to higher food quality during the holidays?
(and generally, too, but the holidays are a specific immediate concern right now)
2) Where do you look to find access to higher quality foods in your location?
3) How do you handle the social situations around food that does not meet your personal standards?
4) How do you talk with people about the issues of food and food choice?

1) How do you get access to higher quality during the holidays?

Pull as much from the freezer for holiday meals as possible as it was produced on sight and we know how it was grown.

2) Where do you look to find access to higher quality foods in your location?

Food co-ops where possible, otherwise other local producers that we trust as far as we can.

3) How do you handle the social situations around food that does not meet your personal standards?

Don't eat it.  Otherwise try to avoid gatherings where you know the food will only be provided by the host(ess) and it will be of questionable or bad quality.

4) How do you talk with people about the issues of food and food choice?

Each has their own tolerances and choices, so if the conversation goes there, I explain why I don't
want to eat X, Y, and Z.  If they wish to get argumentative, shoulder shrug and "To each his/her own eat..."

I learned that fasting is my friend. Eating small portions is my friend. I trained my body to be comfortable fasting for days on end. And to be able to easily switch into fasting mode for one meal, or a day's worth of meals. Whatever. For example, one day I attended a pot-luck wedding dinner. There were something like 23 dishes on the table, and only 2 that I felt OK about eating. So I had small portions of each of those.

I've found that it is approximately pointless to try to talk to people about their diets. Once in a while, someone will ask about my diet. The easiest thing to say, is "XYZ makes me feel gunky". What I don't typically say, is "It makes you feel gunky too, but you are so used to feeling gunky that you don't know any better, and think that gunky is normal."

Excellent questions. Here's my quickie reply.

1. I try to grow my own or trade with a reliable source.

2. Hard to find great food here. There is some available in tiny organic sections of grocery stores but options are limited. See item #1 above.

3. One great response I heard a healthy eating friend tell someone when turning down some store bought cookies ... "No thanks. Too many ingredients." I reluctantly ate a complete dinner someone brought a couple nights ago. BIG mistake.

4. I start slowly with that subject & progress gradually. Most people simply don't want to hear it though.

John Weiland wrote:3) How do you handle the social situations around food that does not meet your personal standards?

Don't eat it.  Otherwise try to avoid gatherings where you know the food will only be provided by the host(ess) and it will be of questionable or bad quality.

So far the practice runs of this for me have been attending meetings for work and social work events.
I have gotten by so far with making tea and pretending to drink my tea, mostly hugging my tea gently, and that has gone well.
And Thanksgiving went by rather okay- just saying "no, I'm not hungry has been fine."

But then, how do I handle it when there are plenty of people under one roof that might to try argue with me and say "I should be hungry and should eat" (even though I either truly honestly don't feel hungry or because I just can't see myself breaking the standards I have developed)?

And what about situations where you are expected to be there, like when you're visiting family and there is a family and relatives meal (with the implied meaning of we're all going to be here together and socialize over food)? Or, "this is Christmas dinner and we're all going to enjoy it"?

I agree largely with what others have said. My food preferences, and what works for me are my business. I don't want to argue with others about it. I won't necessarily accommodate others preferences/needs if too difficult, but I will suggest that they bring something that they can eat, and let them know what I'm making, so they can be properly informed.

While I agree with some bits from WAP, I'm not a follower. I pick and choose what works for me. And rely on my body's responses to judge things for myself.

Avoiding wheat

Water Kefir aka Juice Kefir, kefir beer, kefir sourdough, kefir soda, kefir mead
Koji Amazake/Nut Milk/Rice Milk, for digestive enzyme.

Kefir Vinaigrette Vegetables
Milk Kefir 'Yogurt', Kefir Cheese

3)  Just tell them you're doing a spinach/juice colon cleanse since one of the Kardashians recommended it

4)  My experience with talking to people about their food choices is akin to explaining trigonometry to a donkey.  

It is hard when you dont want to hurt the feelings of people who think they are doing something nice.  I run into it because I cant eat wheat.  It is not an option.  Unfortunatly there are those, including family, who think it is just a diet whim.

It may be my non confrontational wimp side but I find its just easiest to bring my own meal and just say I have food allergies rather than getting into a whole explanation to those who dont really want to hear the reason. Or if its a potluck type thing, I just volunteer to bring a couple items so I know there is something I can have with no problem. If you have multple items on your plate, people don't typically even pay attention as opposed to if they see you not eating.  I have a couple family and friends that I can trust to look out for me, but over all, I just muddle through and make the best of it.  Also, keep quality snacks in your pocket or car.

Hope it works out!

* Claim you have to eat a certain way because of a health condition. I use my PCOS, my husband uses his Crohns (he honestly could be hospitalized if he eats the wrong food...and lots of people saw that happen, and saw him transform from a guy who could barely walk, had ulcers all over his feet, horrible arthritis and had to sit on the toilet every hour with bloody diarrhea...to someone who is now strong and healthy). I also talk about how I get super cranky when I eat certain foods, and who wants to see me even crankier? (They might think I'm making it up, or into "woo-woo," but it generally works to get people to stop bugging me)

* Bring your own dish, or lots of them. You're "helping" by bringing food, and you can take large heapings of your food, and less of the other foods.

* Like others said: eat a bunch before, take small helpings, &/or learn to fast.

* Call your diet something that people are familiar with: Atikins, Paleo, etc. You can try to explain why you're eating that way, but be prepared to

* Say something like, "Oh I WISH I could. THat looks amazingly delicious. Please savore it for me!" People tend to be mad when others eat healthy (or any other "better" choice), then they do, because they think they look less in comparison. THey think you're morally looking down on them. It's like being around people who drink and not drinking (many will try to force you to drink so they feel more comfortable), or around classmates who don't listen to the profesor when you do (they'll be mad that you do and try to make you stop). So, try to make the people feel amazing and try to convey that you're not judging them (I'm still wokring on this).

* If all else fails go graphic. My husband often resorts to this at work when people try to get him to eat their home-baked goodies. He says something like, "Those look amazing and I really wish I could, but if I did I'd be sitting on the toilet with bloody diarrhea for hours." I'm sure he says it in a funnier way than that, but you get the picture. It tends to shut people up pretty well, though it might make some really disgusted with you at Christmas dinner!    

While this isn't necessarily geared towards the holidays, I'm reading this thread for several reasons...

I'm looking to increase the quality of my food and change / improve my cooking skills.

I'm looking do increase the efficacy of alternative/adjunct therapies to traditional pharmaecuticals...

...which appears to be most effective when diet / lifestyle is optimal.

Both of which appear to be embraced by WAP dietary protocol - specifically within Nourishing Traditions.

I find that when I eat better year round, I can slip a little at parties and events with family / friends.

The "recovery" time is also better when getting back to the routine outside of the event.

Look forward to further reading this thread.

I haven't had to use an excuse for years because peer pressure has ceased to affect me, but the easiest "excuse" for me if I need one is to say I have multiple food allergies.  And I just so happen to be allergic to whatever it is they are trying to make me eat.

Dave: I'd like to suggest that it's not about the food at all. It's only about your boundaries. If I served you dirty motor oil in a soup bowl, you would not eat it, no matter how much peer pressure I applied. If I offered you a glass of rat-poison on ice, you would say no. So we have established that you have boundaries, and can enforce them. Now it's only a matter of enforcing them consistently. There are plenty of ways of doing that simply, "I don't like sugary things", "I'm already way over my carbohydrate limit for today", "I'm a picky eater". You don't have to explain, convince, shame, or evangelize. It's your body, you get to choose how you nurture it. It's really hard to get someone to put something in their mouth and swallow it if they are not cooperating.

Seems to be a general theme in your life to frequently be fussing about what others think about you or your choices. My strategy, is that I am not responsible for other people's thoughts. They can think anything they like. About me, or about anything else. My general assessment of the state of the world, is that people are way to self-absorbed to think about me at all.

Figure out how to love yourself, and your choices, and to really nurture yourself. Then what other people think won't matter at all.

What's the worst that could happen if you say no to your mother's suggestion that you eat her roundup-ready bean pie? Will she beat you? Will your father? Will she scream at you? Will she sulk for a week? More likely she will be proud, and think something like, "Wow, Dave is maturing and learning to set boundaries". Anybody that truly loves you will be thrilled that you are setting boundaries around your food intake. If someone is not thrilled about it, and attempts to coerce you into eating poison, then you might be better off without them as part of your life.

Joseph Lofthouse wrote:
Dave: I'd like to suggest that it's not about the food at all. It's only about your boundaries. If I served you dirty motor oil in a soup bowl, you would not eat it, no matter how much peer pressure I applied. If I offered you a glass of rat-poison on ice, you would say no. So we have established that you have boundaries, and can enforce them. Now it's only a matter of enforcing them consistently. There are plenty of ways of doing that simply, "I don't like sugary things", "I'm already way over my carbohydrate limit for today", "I'm a picky eater". You don't have to explain, convince, shame, or evangelize. It's your body, you get to choose how you nurture it. It's really hard to get someone to put something in their mouth and swallow it if they are not cooperating.

Seems to be a general theme in your life to frequently be fussing about what others think about you or your choices. My strategy, is that I am not responsible for other people's thoughts. They can think anything they like. About me, or about anything else. My general assessment of the state of the world, is that people are way to self-absorbed to think about me at all.

Figure out how to love yourself, and your choices, and to really nurture yourself. Then what other people think won't matter at all.

What's the worst that could happen if you say no to your mother's suggestion that you eat her roundup-ready bean pie? Will she beat you? Will your father? Will she scream at you? Will she sulk for a week? More likely she will be proud, and think something like, "Wow, Dave is maturing and learning to set boundaries". Anybody that truly loves you will be thrilled that you are setting boundaries around your food intake. If someone is not thrilled about it, and attempts to coerce you into eating poison, then you might be better off without them as part of your life.

I suspect Dave prefers to pick his battles...and sometimes a good excuse / white lie is the most effective way to do so.   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joseph Lofthouse wrote:
Figure out how to love yourself, and your choices, and to really nurture yourself. Then what other people think won't matter at all.

Sound advice.