Dez's Bootcamp Experience (BRK)

Want to chop some wood today.. it’s 8am.. better go before it starts to rain... <3 pics to come after my return! :)

Maybe one tank-cat pic fur the road..

POST 55 (DAY 61, Saturday, 2020.10.10)
[Mid-day Entry]

08:30AM-11:00AM--firewood harvest, solo, up at WL.. Zero injury today--yay~!.. today's harvest filled about a quarter of a rack.. I bucked one whole medium tree.. dare I say that this is becoming one of my most favorite activities at WL.. getting out there in nature, on a brisk morning, with a beater truck and some tools.. wearing ear protection really tunes out the world, and allows me to tune into my own thoughts.. today, I am grateful for quiet.. some people have a hard time in silence.. though I personally never understood the level of anxiety people may feel if left in their own thoughts, I imagine it has to do with guilt and/or shame.. ahh--actually, I do remember one time, the thoughts in my head got so loud, I had to leave work for a few hours, and the only thing that brought me calm was writing out my thoughts.. since then, I turn to "puna y letra" (hand-writing) whenever I feel an overwhelming amount of emotions.. also writing in my BRK helps..
11:00AM-11:30AM--chill out with the three amigos (kittens: Waldo, Fishes, and Zeek).. they were being cute again, so some cat pics will ensue..
11:30AM-12:15PM--lunch and chat with Fred about why I was distancing myself for a few weeks.. its how I recharge.. I much prefer one-on-one interactions, vs. group interactions, in most situations..
12:15PM-12:30PM--post BRK
12:30PM-1:30PM--Star Trek Discovery, Season 2, Ep.6. at Paul-Theatre

The rest of the day is most likely open to lounging around~! yay~!
enjoy the pics~!

POST 56 (DAY 62, Sunday, 2020.10.11)
[Morning Entry] ...Play Fair

Today, I slept in until 7:00AM.. probably could have slept more, but also didn't want to spend the morning sleeping.. I had gone to bed later than usual (10pm), while staring at my phone.. this is not a usual thing for me.. Usually, I do all the phone-staring before I lay me down for the night, as a purposeful practice.. I can't help but sense that my center is shook.. feelings of unworthiness are creeping up, in the form of comparison.. one of my tanks is running low or near empty.. Yesterday's morning, I fasted for clarity--I had energy enough to chop wood, and yet clarity seemed to elude me.. Yes, gratitude, right? Right.. and perhaps another ingredient.. I began a pushups regimen to see if that will help.. I think I know what shook me, too..
    There have been times in my life where I strayed from my experiential logic, and then after pay in emotional stress.. Once there was a lady who wanted to do things with me that I wasn't really interested in doing.. but I liked her.. smitten, I found myself slowly bending my own values/rituals/routines in order to keep her happy.. but would she have been any less happy had I just refused?.. In hindsight, I know I was acting out of fear--fear of scarcity and/or loss.. I was afraid she wouldn't want to hang out with me unless we did the things she wanted.. this kind of fear is rooted in unworthiness; and scarcity mentality goes hand in hand.. I must have felt unworthy of acting out my own life based on my own desires.. "If I say what I want to do, then I will be rejected..".. seems like quite a discouraging thought.. I used to think this way pretty much all of the time.. and un-identifying myself from that thought pattern was a freeing experience, which didn't happen overnight.. in fact, I must still practice and keep a vigilant stance on being encouraging to myself through all situations and interactions.. I believe that's the only fair path.. and if we cannot play fair, where's the fun? =D
    "Say what you want to do.. act how you want to act.. as long as there's respect for others, its all good, bro~!" (Yes, sometimes, I have to be my own bro, my own parent, my own friend..).. It's a new chapter in my life.. I'm nearing the end of my first fiscal quarter at WL.. I'm unlearning old, fear-based patterns and surrendering to relearning love-based practices.. Surrender to my values--that inner soft voice that resonates with my joy.. aka, my inner monk--the guy who is okay with and grateful for a simple life.. Abundance mindset is mine already--I have more than I need, I am enough, I am worthy of my good.. I accept and am grateful for the occasional "shake", so I can revisit, review and refine my center, my core values.. pain is growth--and both are good veggies for me.. I am not perfect, and I am in practice..
    62 days in.. it feels like i've been here 62 weeks.. life is really dense here.. not sure why.. =D there's just a lot that goes on, and my time working and living is mostly an investment rather than a spending.. I don't spend much money because most of my needs are met.. here at WL, life is dense, simple, and rich--perhaps like a nice piece of chocolate.. delicious.. one of the fairest games I’ve played..

Enjoy the pics~!

POST 57 (DAY 63, Monday, 2020.10.12)
[Evening Entry]

THE WORK: AM--Tidying the shop.. When I see a fridge in disarray, my gut instinct is to empty it out or just avoid it.. there's a part of me that needs to know what's in there, and how it can be optimally organized.. perhaps it is my efficiency-bone.. (which is connected to my streamline-bone and my create-systems-bone..).. so, am I organized? or maybe borderline obsessive compulsive? do we need a label for this? =D Long story long, I organized a shelf space today that was overflowing and piling up.. sometimes this is an inevitable situation, especially in community living and/or a busy environment.. while cleaning, a thought visited my brain, "this shelf needs a THEME.. yeah, that would help..".. just a thought--not sure what the theme would be yet.. nor am I tied to the idea of giving it a theme.. just a thought.. a fridge has a theme: Food.. hmm....
    PM--Seeding at the abbey.. the time passes very slowly when seeding.. and it is surprisingly a solid workout.. a lot of squatting, bending, shoveling--and this is just the physical part.. its such a beautiful spiritual exercise as well.. I wish each seed good luck and lots of love.. someone said "everything gardens".. and when I look around nature's garden, I sure have big shoes to fill.. humbled.. this young padowan has much to learn about the gardening skills of the jedi master called Nature.. Weather-wise, it was a chill-breezy, cloudy yet sunny kind of amazing day.. I thought I would need a jacket, but I was sweating in my regular shirt, so I wet my hat with water and enjoyed the cool bake.. I also took 5 minutes to lay on a hay stack on top of the abbey roof, surrounded by pointy green trees within a creamy cotton candy cumulus cloud covering and blue skies.. I would have taken a picture, and also wanted to soak in every morsel of the moment.. what a feeling.. what a feeling.. que sentimiento..

enjoy the pics~!

POST 58 (DAY 64, Tuesday, 2020.10.13)
[Evening Entry]

THE WORK: AM--Building cubbies (overhead storage shelves) for the library "Dock" desk.. Simply put, I enjoy carpentry and woodworking.. There's something about it that lights up a small fire in me.. it feeds my soul to work with my hands and to create something out of raw materials.. perhaps that's why practicing origami has stuck with me since age 10--I don't know if there's anything else in the world that has held my interest for 28 years.. sculpting a crane bird out of a flat piece of paper feeds my soul.. also these little figures make great gifts~!.. for me, the gift of a crane represent flight.. to the stars and beyond.. wherever imagination soars, go there and flap those wings strong and wide.. The second origami gift menu item is a Turtle.. "slow and steady wins the race..".. lucky for me, I wasn't born with natural speed.. the Turtle is my spiritual guide to winning in all situations, heavy or light.. also, as an added bonus, the Turtle can be made with small wings, so as to suggest another form of soaring.. ;) ..Thirdly, the traditional origami flower (iris), represents life and friendship.. as I said--they make great gifts.. It's just a piece of paper that someone took the time to fold into a figure.. PAPER + TIME + MEANING = GIFT.. for me, an origami gift brings true meaning to "its the thought that counts".. I recently had the opportunity to make an origami gift to someone who also makes origami things--when that happens, its pretty cool..
PM--Continued building Dock-Cubbies.. Rainy-day schedule means we get to take advantage of being indoors, to work on indoor projects that sometimes get de-prioritized due to the outdoor works' urgency.. Winter is approaching.. Fred was supervising in the AM shift, but had to part ways for the PM shift, which left me in charge.. at one point I was facilitating the progress of three people's work (Brianna, Clayton, and moi).. that was fun.. also, pretty cool, because I don't take lightly the opportunity to be a trusted steward of anything.. I've found that the best way to approach any kind of "leadership" role is to honor the other persons.. the feeling of reaching a goal with a team amplifies exponentially in joy.. solo-goal-reaching is cool too, but its different when I get to partake in the wins of others, simply by encouraging them through the process.. Example time? ..Brianna realized, upon mounting the eighth and final board of a divider-array (one long connecting board attached to 8 shorter perpendicular boards, which make up a shelf divider), that the measurement was off.. she said she was "mad" about it, in a very calm voice, "should I start it over?".. I said "aw, man~! sorry you're mad.. its okay, its only off by a quarter of an inch.. its okay~!.." and gave her a pat on the slouching shoulder.. so much drama over a quarter of an inch, right? ..luckily, in this case, that small variance wouldn't really matter for the production of the final product.. AND Fred happened to be nearby, came over and suggested a potential solution to help mitigate a possible recurrence--a better method, if you will.. long story short, Brianna seemed encouraged.. AND more importantly, in that moment, I truly saw a human-error embraced and accepted, AS A TEAM.. I was moved.. not because I had the wherewithal to keep from judging the error (which a version of my may have done), but because in that moment, WE CREATED A SPACE TO BE.. TO BE.. to simply be the human.. I love this kind of work environment.. and it is such an honor and privilege for me to be amongst the kind of people who would embrace and accept me, even in my errors.. Someone who I consider a world-class champion once told me that it's not about the work; rather it's about the people who are doing the work.. he said that the work will get done either way, by us or others.. but while WE are in this work together, let us be as we are, so that we can be our very best..

enjoy the pics.. I love you..

ps. its taco tuesday, mang.. and the tacos were muy delicioso~!

POST 59 (DAY 65, Wednesday, 2020.10.14)
[Evening Entry]

THE WORK: AM&PM--Overhead cubbies at the Dock.. I realized today that I'm building a sort of tree-house.. Amazing--I've always wanted to build a tree-house since early childhood.. what is with the fascination of children and a shed on a tree?.. I don't know either, but its so much better than a mansion on a granite foundation, for some reason~! ..Anyway, back to the overhead cubby.. it's not meant to hold people, per say, but it does involve some ingenuity and/or Macgyver-ing with the natural roundwood timber, in order to create a lasting and fun structure.. the design aspect is most fascinating to me.. Where do we put this notch in order to create a square frame for the base?.. How deep does that notch go?.. If the notch is too deep, how else can we support the structure and maintain its aesthetic?.. This kinda thing lights up my joy meter.. just lights it right up~! Needless to say, I'm having a blast.. a few weeks back, it was the angle brace, with its geometry/trigonometry problem solving puzzle.. this time, its the engineering of structural integrity melded with the architectural finesse of upholding beauty.. Something super functional and yet somehow easy on the eyes.. No doubt about it--this is my kind of jam, baby~!.. And by "jam", I mean music to my ears.. Interestingly enough, the notching skills from the greenhouse framing came in super handy..
    Some may be wondering--so, why is it like building a tree-house??, Basically, we are using dimensional lumber to build a 3-tier shelving/cubby system which will "float" above the main large desk at the Library, called the "Dock".. the Dock is a 12-foot long by 3-foot deep rectangular workspace with vertical roundwood posts at each of the four corners, spanning from floor to ceiling.. I'm so excited to be here.. again =D

Enjoy the pics~!

POST 60 (DAY 66, Thursday, 2020.10.15)
[Evening Entry]

"Relaxed and Refreshed"..

Brianna joins us all the way from San Diego, where she and her husband, Alex, dream of homesteading somewhere other than California.. She happened to stumble across Wheaton Labs while researching Missoula for Alex's vacation.. Her PDC teacher ("Shout out to Lucian!") mentioned knowing Paul Wheaton, at some point during her research.. The stars and mycelia must have been aligned or something because, next thing you know, they are all here with their well behaved dog, Beaumont.. "Would you say that camping out in a van has never felt more at-home?" I asked. "No.." Brianna laughs, "it's been kind of a struggle~!" ..Alas, what a trooper--showing up to work with a consistently positive attitude, even when the "struggle" is real.. We all became friends with all three van-dwellers, over these past three weeks. Everyday, she was helping without being asked [yes--I saw you putting away stuff and doing community dishes, homie~!].. We will miss you and sincerely hope you will visit again soon, in a slightly more comfortable larger van.. and maybe Alex can even join us for most of our super awesome things.. maybe? =D

THE WORK: AM&PM.. The First Wofati Greenhouse, man~!.. The mornings are quite cold these days.. the bones feel chill, but my soul feels warm and fed.. The work isn't a grind here at WL; rather, its being part of a team that rows a boat together.. Each of us does our part, in the peace of our own pace, and somehow we move forward.. This morning's first to-do was to remove the tarp over the greenhouse with Clayton, then the scaffolding that some of the tarp was mounted to.. After this, Clayton and I split off into different but nearby tasks.. He picks up a chainsaw to cut the middle post for the lower purlin, and I warm up the chisel and mallet for some saddle-notching (cutting out a circular edge to mate with the incoming lower purlin) on the fence-side rafter.. Clayton and Josiah move over to the purlin to chisel out the middle notch, which will mate with the middle post that Clayton just cut.. I continue notching the rafter.. before we know it, its lunch time~!.. we clean up tools and ride back to base camp..
    Lunch (for me) consists of some leftover minestrone soup, bread & butter pickles, and 3 small PB sandwiches, with a side of homemade spicy mayo.. its simple.. Josiah made the minestrone for last night's dinner.. it totally fed my soul, as a nice, hearty soup usually does.. the other parts of the lunch seem like odd pairings, but each item is easily on my favorites list.. basically I eat like a king everyday, in my opinion..  Such beauty in simplicity.. soak in some sun and kitten love for about 15 minutes, outside.. Then back to the Abbey~!
    The afternoon, for me, was solo notch-cutting on the middle section of both rafters.. Clayton and Josiah were at the well-drill site to prepare the roads.. they returned to join the greenhouse work about half-way through the shift.. during my solo hours chiseling away, I had an interesting phrase cross my mind, "Disneyland, eat your heart out." ..Surprised and amused by its sheer audacious tone, I chuckled aloud, shaking my head and smiling.. its true--I'd rather be here at WL than at DL.. dare I say, I'm having so much fun its ridiculous?.. So grateful to be here--my happiest place on earth..

enjoy the pics~!