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CLICK HERE for The Garden Master Course Campaign Thread!!

CLICK HERE for The Garden Master Course Kickstarter Page



It looks like we are really gonna give this kickstarter a try.   Here is my first attempt at a script for a kickstarter video:

I'm paul wheaton and this is my 12th kickstarter
[show images of past kickstarters]

Decades ago I took a master gardener course. It was really challenging. The next year I took the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert - direct attention to helen's sig and add text "taught by the amazing Helen Atthowe!"]). Over the years, hundreds of master gardeners have given me the impression that the course I took was far richer than most master gardener courses.  

Eventually, I became keen on permaculture.  I shared my new enthusiam with my master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] -- that's when she told me that she was an intern for the great Masanobu Fukuoka! [show the playing card]

What if there could be a Master Gardener program, but replace all the stuff about pesticides with stuff about permaculture, Fukuoka, market gardening, commercial food forest care and ALL the stuff *I* think is really cool.  

During the 17 years Helen taught master gardener courses, she simultaneously managed an organic market garden. AND she has managed two other market gardens AND a 2000 acre organic farm since then.  

After years of planning, Helen came to teach what I am now calling "The Certified Garden Master Course."  The class sold out! And I am REALLY glad that we had the forethought to record it!

A resident video editor whipped up a sample of what a full-length edit could be.  Wow! So the big kickstarter question is: are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?



What do you think?


Here's my current ideas for rewards

$1 THANKS
$10 CANDY
$50 ZOOM the full event as 360p streaming
  - all the zoom recordings we have - unedited
$100 GLORY: the full event as HD streaming
  - all the video is edited, sound balanced and polished
  - plus your name on all the vids

$200 tiny download

$300 jumbo download

$400 goofballs

$1000 associate producer credit

$2000 executive producer credit

$3000 bacon, cheese and sparkles




Some tiny stills from the video








Here are a vew videos I made with her ten or eleven years ago








So, let's get started on nailing down the script and the rewards.  What can use some improvement?

COMMENTS:
 
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Why do you need money at all? Just find volunteers who want to do this for historical value. And it should be recorded (their time and effort) because that's what creates a currency. Imagine if we made an exchange system part of permaculture. Why not - human input should be part of permaculture. The trick is to record time put in so that we can recognize those who do the work. And they get promoted publicly. This is the natural order of things - bringing banker's currency into it only continues to promote usury.  
 
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denise ward wrote:Why do you need money at all? Just find volunteers who want to do this for historical value. And it should be recorded (their time and effort) because that's what creates a currency. Imagine if we made an exchange system part of permaculture. Why not - human input should be part of permaculture. The trick is to record time put in so that we can recognize those who do the work. And they get promoted publicly. This is the natural order of things - bringing banker's currency into it only continues to promote usury.  



total number of people we have found to do that:  zero

total number of people willing to put in more than a hundred hours of work for a few bucks:  one

So kickstarter it is!
 
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Maybe I am just missing something here, but this is what it looks like to me:
In the script it sounds like this event had already happened and it was recorded, and now you have the files and all you need is putting it together into an edited version of the class - which is what you need the money for.
The rewards show that for $50 you can Zoom in (meaning live) to the event.
For me it's a bit confusing.
 
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Erik Ven wrote:Maybe I am just missing something here, but this is what it looks like to me:
In the script it sounds like this event had already happened and it was recorded, and now you have the files and all you need is putting it together into an edited version of the class - which is what you need the money for.
The rewards show that for $50 you can Zoom in (meaning live) to the event.
For me it's a bit confusing.



Maybe we change the name of that level from "ZOOM" to "360P"?  Or maybe "ROUGH"?  Or maybe "FULL-CLASS"?

 
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I feel like your description is pretty understated for how great the course material is.  

Maybe consider adding something as simple as "People who have taken Helen's Garden Master Course tend to agree - this is some of the best and most robust education available about ecosystemic garden design and management" . . . or something.
 
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We have some video of helen talking about what she is doing.  We're thinking of adding a bit of that.  And we have video of three attendees saying stuff - we are thinking of adding that.
 
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Give me a few hours to revise, improve (?), comment and play editor.  
 
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The description needs more details about the class - did you have an outline or syllabus?  Maybe include that so we know what we are getting (12 weeks of one hour sessions; 4 8-hour days?)  I haven't taken the Master Gardener class because of all the pesticides and junk, and would seriously spend $50 on this.  I think if you drop the edited version to less than $100 (like $80?) You may get better investment.  That mental barrier at three-digits is hurting a lot of us right now.

As in - I really want to drop a Benny on this, I have done so on other KS, but cannot this year.
 
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Your statement too wordy. If you edit out "ands"   combine some of the sentences into one instead of two you could more precisely say the same idea with less words. I could edit it that way tomorrow or the next day. Looks interesting to me!
 
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paul wheaton wrote:
Here's my current ideas for rewards

$1 THANKS
$10 CANDY
$50 ZOOM the full event as 360p streaming
  - all the zoom recordings we have - unedited
$100 GLORY: the full event as HD streaming
  - all the video is edited, sound balanced and polished
  - plus your name on all the vids

$200 tiny download

$300 jumbo download

$400 goofballs

$1000 associate producer credit

$2000 executive producer credit

$3000 bacon, cheese and sparkles




For rewards here are my ideas:

Helen and Paul podcast gob. Podcast numbers 12, 15, 32, 33, 70, 130, 137, 138 There maybe more I just click the Helen Atthowe tag.

Ask Paul a question. I remember seeing this in one of the wood heat videos. One of the backers sat down with Paul Wheaton and asked a question I think it was about building a pond.

I remember a few kickstarters back one of the goals was seeds and another one was jerusalem artichoke I think.

One thought I had was what would I want if I backed this at $400 level. These are my ideas and feel free not to use or change them. If I was a $400 backer I think as a reward I would like one or two of the following: One hour of consultation with Paul Wheaton, 1 year (12 piece) of pie, and maybe a live webinar. I like the kickstarter and being a non militant vegan but laughs at jokes about vegans. Also like to try make really good vegan food. I like the idea of veganic grown food.

 
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Well, that was a painful lesson.  I'm not quite sure how to edit long copy in this forum, but Word docs certainly do not work.
WTF? Rich text doesn't load either? Where is the list of files that load?   In the meantime see if this makes any sense to you -- you'll have to compare my copy to your original copy.

{P1}
I'm paul wheaton and this is my 12th Kickstarter  [show images of past kickstarters]

[Comment: You can be all e e cummings with your own name, but it's a good practice to capitalize the names of other people, places and things. ]

{P2}
Decades ago, I took a master gardener course, and it was really challenging. The next year I took the advanced course (certified! [show cert]). Over the years since then, I’ve met hundreds of master gardeners across the United States.  I got the impression that the course I took was far richer than most other master gardener courses.  

[Comment: Consider using an opening with a more robust sentence, like this:
Decades ago, I took a 90-hour course with Helen Atthowe -- a celebrated pioneer in eco-organic methods -- at Blahblahblah University in Somewhere, Canada.

Let people know how long you sat in class -- 30 three-hour sessions; nearly 120 hours of class and home work; -- whatever you're comfortable saying.

RE: United States -- You are speaking to a much wider audience than just the US, so let us know where (most of) these master gardeners are from. ]

{P3}
Eventually, I became keen on permaculture.  I shared my new enthusiam with my master gardener instructor, Helen Atthowe. [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] She told me that she was an intern for Masanobu Fukuoka – a Japanese farmer/philosopher celebrated for his natural farming and re-vegetation of desertified lands. [show the playing card]

[Comment: Rewrite this sentence if you include Helen’s name and credentials in P2.

Attribution, attribution, attribution. Be sure to tell us who Helen, Fukuoka-san, and Jeff are. Footnote or otherwise get the attribution into the copy. Remember, you are trying to sell me something -- I have every reason to be suspicious of what you say. It's especially true of Kickstarter members. I used Wikipedia for Helen and Fukuoka-san’s attribution. I can’t find any attribution online for Jeff]

{P4}
I got an idea:  wouldn't it be great to have all the good parts of a Master Gardener program, but replace all the stuff about pesticides with stuff about permaculture, Fukuoka, market gardening, commercial food forest care and ALL the stuff I think is really cool?

{P5}
During the 17 years Helen taught her master gardener courses, she simultaneously managed an organic market garden. And she has managed two other market gardens and her own 2000-acre organic farm since then.
[Comment: Consider giving a bit more detail about the other markets. Like this:
… managed two large weekly garden markets for the neighboring towns.
...managed two other market gardens for a rag-tag group for organic farmers.
...managed to organize and collect enough home farmers to create two other garden markets.
My point is to provide an interesting detail about the other market gardens]

{P6}
I finally convinced Helen to create a class based on my idea. By Fall 2020 (or whatever) we held our first  Certified Garden Master Course at Wheaton Labs.  The class sold out, and people asked if they could participate in the class online.  We set that up, and recorded some HD stuff too. So because we recorded the classes, now we can create an online Certified Garden Master course.

{P7}
Jeff Bosch looked over the raw files and made me a sample video that looks excellent!  He says he can do that for the whole class, but, you know, for monies.  And that's the big kickstarter question:  are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?

[Comment: This is the way you speak, and I get that. But consider your audience -- according to KS stats for all time, there were over 21 million backers for KS projects. You are already reaching a global audience. Please consider that some may not understand your ah, slang.
Try this: Jeff Bosch  reviewed the raw files and made a sample video for me that looks excellent!  He says he can do that for the whole class, but not for free. We need to pay him. (or something like that).  We estimate that there will be XX videos and a total of XX hours of viewing time.  (or something like this).  
Please tell me who is Jeff Bosch. He's not the famous hockey player, is he? Maybe you can use some of his credentials or something from a CV? Or at least, try this: Jeff Bosch, who produced the last three of our videos . . . Something like that.]

{P8}
And that's the big Kickstarter question:  are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing ?

[Comment: This is a round-about way of asking for the money. That’s ok, but it may not get you the answer you seek. Yeah, there are a lot of people “wanting the video.” But right now, it’s still a “pig in a poke.” E.g., I want the video but if it’s a USD$400 pledge, would I make the pledge?

Try this: question: Would you be willing to pay $XX.xx or maybe a bit more for the material? We’re thinking of offering it in two formats -- as a videotape and as a download. Please let us know in the comments below.]





 
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“Master gardening courses are no joke. They can take as much effort to master as the craft of gardening itself. I know because I’ve taken several master gardening courses over the past decades, and they can be as jam-packed with content as a polyculture garden’s soil is with microorganisms. There simply is a LOT going on.

Taking with others master gardeners over the nation, I learned that the course I took was a lot richer than most other master gardener courses. This and the expertise I have gained over the years as the founder of Permies have inspired me to build my own master gardener course which replaces all the stuff about pesticides with the best topics in gardening: permaculture market gardening, commercial food forest care and ALL the stuff I think is really cool.  

You know what I think is one of the coolest things of all, I’ve just upgraded my master gardener course by combining my noggin with Helen Atthowe, my old master gardener course instructor! Helen has the fortune of being an intern for Masanobu Fukuoka, the man who kicked off the one-straw revolution himself. Plus, during the 17 years Helen taught master gardener courses, she simultaneously managed an organic market garden, AND she has managed two other market gardens ANND a 2000-acre organic farm since then.  

We have dubbed our course "The Certified Garden Master Course" because of how certified amazing it is. Classes sold out. People asked if they could participate over the internet, and we set that up too.

Throughout the classes, the skills-building lessons, and all the Qs, As, and Cs (connections!), I was recording in HD video. It was fun and the raw footage gives us all we need to make the essential master gardening course I wish I had decades ago.

Actually putting that together, however, requires a specialist who has the time and skills to make it bloom like flowers in May. Jeff Bosch already took a hand at that and made me a sample video that looks excellent!  He says he can do that for the whole class, but, you know, for monies.  And that's the big Kickstarter question:  are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?”

Hi Paul!
Here’s my script for you! I’m not sure how to do the credits but the intro I understand.  I’m a pro writer and I appreciate Permies a lot. If you use what I wrote, will you let me know? I like where this project is headed.

p.s.  feel free to take this as a sample of my work if you ever want professional help with something else like it.


-Jeff
(finoftheinfinite@gmail.com)
 
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I read the current script and came in at about two minutes.  If we add some video of helen and some of the people attending the class, then it might be pushing 3 minutes.  An important thing with a video like this is to keep it short - so I am hoping that by figuring this out, we can get the words to be richer while simultaneously getting it shorter!
 
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Briana Great wrote:The description needs more details.



Agreed.  The video script needs to be short, but this thread is also an excellent place to build the full description!



 
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Candace Williams wrote:Your statement too wordy. If you edit out "ands"   combine some of the sentences into one instead of two you could more precisely say the same idea with less words. I could edit it that way tomorrow or the next day. Looks interesting to me!



I edited the first post and found a way to get rid of two "ands".  

Can you give me a couple more lines to massage?
 
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(back soon, i have a few meetings this morning)
 
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Paul:

I love this idea -- I have wanted to know the good stuff from a Master Gardener coarse, but didn't want the Pesticide brainwashing!

I agree with almost all of Brenda Manning's suggestions, especially explaining who Helen Atthowe & Master Fukuoka are.  I disagree when she replaces "You know, monies" -- that's part of the humorous way you speak, and I'd keep that.  

It may be rude to leave out Jeff Bosch's name, but unless he's famous, I'd replace his name with [A friend that's edited ___ amazing videos for me...]

For fear of making the video too long, in text I'd say what a Master Gardener course usually costs, the time in it, and whether there would be any way I could get 'certified' through watching this whole video.  Also, links to Helen & Fukuoka information (I've been around here enough, and read One Straw...but for others).

I am excited about this, but intimidated by the cost of the whole download.  I am not interested in live streaming, as I won't be able to align with that schedule.

I agree with you that short is best...so here are some thoughts towards tightening:

Decades ago I took a master gardener course. It was really challenging. The next year I took the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert]). Over the years I met hundreds of master gardeners across the nation.  I got the impression that the course I took was far richer than most of the master gardener courses.  



Decades ago I took a master gardener course, and then the *advanced* course, both from the amazing Helen Atthowe. It was really challenging.  I have learned from hundreds of other MGs that Helen's course was far richer than most.

OK, there's not much more I can remove without damage.




 
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paul wheaton wrote:

Briana Great wrote:The description needs more details.



Agreed.  The video script needs to be short, but this thread is also an excellent place to build the full description!




Oh. I didn't understand that this was the audio for your video. I thought it was the written word for the Kickstarter campaign. Let me noodle with it tomorrow and I'll send you a script or a draft or whatever meager thoughts I can cobble together. I'll try to make the reading time under 2 minutes but hit all your salient points. I hope I can upload a audio file -- can I?

Thanks, everyone, for your votes of confidence and your comments. It's all helpful.
 
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Will any DVDs be available?

Yes, I am “that guy” who still likes to have a hard copy, so when the InterWebz™️ go down, I will still be able to view and learn from the presentations.

Thanks for your time.

Keith
 
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$1 THANKS
$10 CANDY
$50 ZOOM the full event as 360p streaming
 - all the video sent to the people that attended live - unedited
$100 GLORY: the full event as HD streaming
 - all the video is edited, sound balanced and polished
 - plus your name on all the vids

$200 tiny download

$300 jumbo download



howzabout this change:

$1 THANKS

$10 CANDY

$50 FULL-EVENT the full event as 360p streaming
 - the original raw feed video - unedited

$80 HD-STREAMING: the full event as HD streaming
 - all the video is edited, sound balanced and polished

$100 GLORY
 - everything in HD-STREAMING
 - plus your name on all the vids

$200 tiny download

$300 jumbo download


What do you think?
 
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T Blankinship wrote:
Helen and Paul podcast gob. Podcast numbers 12, 15, 32, 33, 70, 130, 137, 138 There maybe more I just click the Helen Atthowe tag.



This could be a great thing at the $1 level.  Are there more?  Surely helen and i recorded some more podcasts.


Ask Paul a question. I remember seeing this in one of the wood heat videos. One of the backers sat down with Paul Wheaton and asked a question I think it was about building a pond.



That is something we did as a stretch goal in the last kickstarter - and we haven't doled that out yet.  I do think we need to complete that before we start the next kickstarter.

 
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Barbara Manning wrote:Oh. I didn't understand that this was the audio for your video. I thought it was the written word for the Kickstarter campaign. Let me noodle with it tomorrow and I'll send you a script or a draft or whatever meager thoughts I can cobble together. I'll try to make the reading time under 2 minutes but hit all your salient points. I hope I can upload a audio file -- can I?



I think so.  But at this time, i think text in posts is the best.
 
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Jeff Pollari wrote:
Hi Paul!
Here’s my script for you! I’m not sure how to do the credits but the intro I understand.  I’m a pro writer and I appreciate Permies a lot. If you use what I wrote, will you let me know? I like where this project is headed.

p.s.  feel free to take this as a sample of my work if you ever want professional help with something else like it.



Maybe help me attack this one paragraph or two at a time?
 
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Michael Bajema wrote:
It may be rude to leave out Jeff Bosch's name, but unless he's famous, I'd replace his name with [A friend that's edited ___ amazing videos for me...]



Good point.  Change made in the top copy ...


I am excited about this, but intimidated by the cost of the whole download.  I am not interested in live streaming, as I won't be able to align with that schedule.



Good news!  There is no live streaming!  All the live part is done.  We just have recordings!


I agree with you that short is best...so here are some thoughts towards tightening:

Decades ago I took a master gardener course. It was really challenging. The next year I took the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert]). Over the years I met hundreds of master gardeners across the nation.  I got the impression that the course I took was far richer than most of the master gardener courses.  



Decades ago I took a master gardener course, and then the *advanced* course, both from the amazing Helen Atthowe. It was really challenging.  I have learned from hundreds of other MGs that Helen's course was far richer than most.

OK, there's not much more I can remove without damage.



I'm a big fan of getting things shorter, so let me put these two side-by-side but with the words spelled out and in the other notes ...

my version:

Decades ago I took a master gardener course. It was really challenging. The next year I took the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert]). Over the years I met hundreds of master gardeners across the nation.  I got the impression that the course I took was far richer than most of the master gardener courses.

your version:

Decades ago I took a master gardener course, and then the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert]), both from the amazing Helen Atthowe. It was really challenging.  I have learned from hundreds of other master gardeners that Helen's course was far richer than most.

...  yours is slightly shorter and add helen's name ... hmmm ...  let me fiddle a bit ... starting with the last half:

Over the years I met hundreds of master gardeners across the nation.  I got the impression that the course I took was far richer than most of the master gardener courses.

Over the years, hundreds of master gardeners have given me the impression that the course I took was far richer than most master gardener courses.


I made changes to the top copy!

 
paul wheaton
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Keith Kuhnsman wrote:Will any DVDs be available?

Yes, I am “that guy” who still likes to have a hard copy, so when the InterWebz™️ go down, I will still be able to view and learn from the presentations.



My guess is that there might be 40 hours of stuff.  That makes for about 20 DVDs.

For the 177 hour stuff, we make downloads available.  People then pop into town and put the download on a jump drive.
 
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Instead of zoom, why not use something open source like Jitsi?

It is just a suggestion
 
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Jordan Beaupré wrote:Instead of zoom, why not use something open source like Jitsi?

It is just a suggestion



Well, the zoom stuff was done when we did the course.  This is about the final artifacts that we got from zoom.
 
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👩‍🦳  Yes! The topic and information is HOT right now. AT least where I AM, there are hordes of newbies that have escaped here from elsewhere, and have NEVER gardened but feel they MUST if they are going to survive. You know...."grow your own". Well a lot of us are new to the location, new to getting our hands dirty, have no idea how to start, what to plant, how to actually DO that, how much to watch, weed, water (www.) and when to harvest, seed save, grieve the loss of your experiment, gain the lesson, apply it and change and then start again. With GRATITUDE!  If that could come out ONLINE how incredible that would be. Besides your kickstarter bonuses are magical.
 
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paul wheaton wrote:
$50 FULL-EVENT the full event as 360p streaming
 - the original raw feed video - unedited

$80 HD-STREAMING: the full event as HD streaming
 - all the video is edited, sound balanced and polished


I'm as much a fan of things getting cheaper as anyone, but when the higher tier was $100, it didn't seem just awful to get the lower one, and now it does. Like, for someone in my shoes, it would be just stupid to buy the cheaper one. And if I was in the position of only being able to afford the $50, I might be so discouraged that I'd walk away entirely.

I don't know if this is feasible, but if the tiers were laid out as above, but there was also a $100 tier that would get me the stuff at the $80 level and also upgrade one person from the $50 to the $80 who wanted it but just couldn't swing the monies, I'd probably go for that. (I know the math isn't exactly right, but you can handwave it or tweak the numbers or whatever.)

Also, it isn't clear to me why I'd even want the tiers higher than the 80-100 level. I'm not sure if I lack understanding of what they are or if their use-case just doesn't apply to me.
 
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Decades ago I took advanced master gardener courses which, compared to industry standard, were richly informative. (certified! [show cert - direct attention to helen's sig and add text "taught by the amazing Helen Atthowe!"]).

The master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] has _____________ (credentials, plus some background about Masanobu Fukuoka [show the playing card])

I got an idea; a Master Gardener program, emphasizing permaculture, Fukuoka, market gardening, commercial food forest care and more.

I convinced Helen to come teach what I call “The Certified Garden Master Course."  The class sold out, and was thankfully video recorded.

A resident video editor offered an amazing sample of what a full-length edit could be. So the big kickstarter question is this: are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?
 
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paul wheaton wrote:

T Blankinship wrote:
Helen and Paul podcast gob. Podcast numbers 12, 15, 32, 33, 70, 130, 137, 138 There maybe more I just click the Helen Atthowe tag.



This could be a great thing at the $1 level.  Are there more?  Surely helen and i recorded some more podcasts.



Did a search on the podcasts using "Helen Atthowe" and "Veganic". I found podcasts 194 Surviving Cancer and 230 Review of Hands on Agronomy. If anyone finds more please post! Or other search terms to use, Thanks.
 
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Alex Barlow wrote:Decades ago I took advanced master gardener courses which, compared to industry standard, were richly informative. (certified! [show cert - direct attention to helen's sig and add text "taught by the amazing Helen Atthowe!"]).

The master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] has _____________ (credentials, plus some background about Masanobu Fukuoka [show the playing card])

I got an idea; a Master Gardener program, emphasizing permaculture, Fukuoka, market gardening, commercial food forest care and more.

I convinced Helen to come teach what I call “The Certified Garden Master Course."  The class sold out, and was thankfully video recorded.

A resident video editor offered an amazing sample of what a full-length edit could be. So the big kickstarter question is this: are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?



Wow, you have a gift when it comes to brevity!  

I am mashing a lot of this into the script!
 
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I edited the script in the top post to be a little leaner.  I think we're doing it!  It's getting better!
 
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Paul:

I have seen some great suggestions, and you've taken a lot of them, but I'm glad you are keeping your personality in it.

The paragraph starting with "During the 17 years Helen taught " now doesn't flow.  I recommend combining it / putting it right after mentioning Fukuoka.  Further, she 'was an intern' sounds like it was active then, 'had been' an intern is likely more accurate.  Here's an attempt:

Eventually, I became keen on permaculture.  I shared my new enthusiasm with my master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] -- that's when she told me that she had interned with the great Masanobu Fukuoka! [show the playing card].  She then taught master gardener courses for 17 years, simultaneously managed an organic market garden. AND she has managed two other market gardens AND a 2000 acre organic farm since then.  


You're trying to keep this brief...but it might be good to say a bit more about what *Master Gardener* training is & costs...maybe...or have links below the video.
And this training won't do much to give certification, right?
Oh, and if the streaming is 'watch whenever I want, for forever'...then that's a great deal.

 
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hmmmm ....   okay, I see what you did there.  I think you are right ...

maybe the thing to do is fill it out for a bit and then narrow it down again ....

Eventually, I became keen on permaculture.  I shared my new enthusiasm with my master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] -- that's when she told me that she had interned with the great Masanobu Fukuoka! [show the playing card].  

I already knew she used her market garden for rigorous scientific research on techniques far beyond organic, with massive emphasis on insects and merged crops. And now it is clear that she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka".  And that was all in parallel to the 17 years she spent teaching master gardener courses.  And now I am learning about the details of her work before and after that.  40 years of several different market gardens, commercial food forests, in many climates, plus managing a 2000 acre organic farm in Colorado.



??
 
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paul wheaton wrote:hmmmm ....   okay, I see what you did there.  I think you are right ...

maybe the thing to do is fill it out for a bit and then narrow it down again ....



I like it!  I know Helen has worked in different states/climates.   Maybe some pictures of her projects as they are mentioned, with text saying the state/climate (alas, no New England, but I'll forgive her!).  A small tightening:

emphasis on insects and merged crops. And now it is clear that she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka".  And that was all in parallel to the 17 years she spent teaching master gardener courses.

could go to

emphasis on insects and merged crops -- she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka" *while* teaching 17 years of master gardener courses.

 
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Michael Bajema wrote:  A small tightening:

emphasis on insects and merged crops. And now it is clear that she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka".  And that was all in parallel to the 17 years she spent teaching master gardener courses.

could go to

emphasis on insects and merged crops -- she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka" *while* teaching 17 years of master gardener courses.



... maybe ...

emphasis on insects and merged crops -- she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka" at the same time she is teaching 17 years of master gardener courses.



Kinda in the middle of the two, in size.  But it feel like it rolls better to me.
 
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so here is the whole thing as it reads now:

I'm paul wheaton and this is my 12th kickstarter
[show images of past kickstarters]

Decades ago I took a master gardener course. It was really challenging. The next year I took the *advanced* course (certified! [show cert - direct attention to helen's sig and add text "taught by the amazing Helen Atthowe!"]). Over the years, hundreds of master gardeners have given me the impression that the course I took was far richer than most master gardener courses.  

Eventually, I became keen on permaculture.  I shared my new enthusiasm with my master gardener instructor [show helen and me; text "me and my instructor Helen Atthowe"] -- that's when she told me that she had interned with the great Masanobu Fukuoka! [show the playing card].  

I already knew she used her market garden for rigorous scientific research on techniques far beyond organic, with massive emphasis on insects and merged crops -- she is "expanding on the work of Fukuoka"! All at the same time she was teaching 17 years of master gardener courses.  And now I am learning about the details of her work before and after that.  40 years of several different market gardens, commercial food forests, in many climates, plus managing a 2000 acre organic farm in Colorado.  

What if there could be a Master Gardener program, but replace all the stuff about pesticides with stuff about permaculture, Fukuoka, market gardening, commercial food forest care and ALL the stuff *I* think is really cool.  

After years of planning, Helen came to teach what I am now calling "The Certified Garden Master Course."  The class sold out! And I am REALLY glad that we had the forethought to record it!

A resident video editor whipped up a sample of what a full-length edit could be.  Wow! So the big kickstarter question is: are there enough people wanting video of the whole class to pay for the editing?

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