• Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education experiences global resources the cider press projects digital market permies.com private forums all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Nicole Alderman
  • r ranson
  • Anne Miller
  • paul wheaton
  • Joseph Lofthouse
stewards:
  • Mike Jay
  • Jocelyn Campbell
  • Devaka Cooray
garden masters:
  • Steve Thorn
  • Dave Burton
  • Dan Boone
gardeners:
  • Joylynn Hardesty
  • Mandy Launchbury-Rainey
  • Mike Barkley

Gesundheit for flatulance?

 
steward
Posts: 4345
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
1084
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Sometimes you're with a friend and they pass gas.  If they sneezed I'd say "gesundheit".  Is there a similar affirmation that I could use in this situation?  Ideally one that would be recognized for the lighthearted congratulations of a fart well delivered?  

I wouldn't want to use something with religious connotations (for example, related to "God Bless").
 
gardener
Posts: 2193
Location: latitude 47 N.W. montana zone 6A
268
cat pig rocket stoves
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Well Mike , Around here we always smile and say damm tree frogs... always stinkin up the place.  Rural humor you know...what else could there be to talk about.
 
pollinator
Posts: 845
Location: Pac Northwest, east of the Cascades
210
hugelkultur forest garden trees chicken wofati earthworks building solar rocket stoves woodworking homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I don't know any for flatulence, but I like the idea.

On a side note, I prefer gesundheit as well. Plus I like to give it a little twist some times. By saying:

"Your Gesunda is too tight, you need to loosen it up." It tends to help make a smile or two and lighten the mood of an awkward sneeze.

I thought of it once thinking how Gesund sort of sounded like a word that could mean nose, and heit sort of sounded like someone in a hurry saying tight. (I have this tendency to automatically turn foreign words and saying into English sound similar versions)

I have been saying ever since on special occasions were a little humor might help.
 
gardener
Posts: 1999
Location: West Tennessee
503
cat purity trees books chicken food preservation cooking building homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

thomas rubino wrote:Well Mike , Around here we always smile and say damm tree frogs... always stinkin up the place.  Rural humor you know...what else could there be to talk about.



hehehe! I've also referred to the barking spiders for the blame.

Maybe I'm immature, but my inner twelve year old boy is very much alive, and I still think farting is hilarious. Once in a while, but not so often it becomes predictable, I record a fart with my cell phone and text it to my brother. I'm in my forties, my brother just turned 50. We have good laughs, and I will probably never grow up.
 
Mike Jay
steward
Posts: 4345
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
1084
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I've heard mention of tree frogs or ducks when farts happen but they're usually a joking way to divert blame.  I've also heard one hilarious comment that I'd love to share but it's too crude for permies.

If there was a slick way to combine Gesundheit with fart...  Fartsundheit?  It just doesn't really work.

I'm not into yoga so I'm not sure if it would be offensive, but saying "Namaste" to a farter could have the desired effect.  
 
pollinator
Posts: 1422
Location: Big Island, Hawaii (2300' elevation, 60" avg. annual rainfall, temp range 55-80 degrees F)
411
forest garden rabbit tiny house books solar woodworking
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Around here we blame it on the dog, even if one isn't around. 😆

Dang dog, must be that cheap kibble!
 
pollinator
Posts: 168
Location: Manila
31
urban cooking solar
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
The Compost must have gone ANAEROBIC again!
 
Devin Lavign
pollinator
Posts: 845
Location: Pac Northwest, east of the Cascades
210
hugelkultur forest garden trees chicken wofati earthworks building solar rocket stoves woodworking homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Oddly enough this topic has gotten me googling the idea.

It is amazing how much is written about it being normal, yet over and over it is said DO NOT VERBALLY ACKNOWLEDGE IT. If someone says "excuse me", you are supposed to just accept the apology, and then move on immediately. Never to bring it up again.

I find this rather disturbing.

We all do it. It is perfectly normal.

Yet it is such a taboo in our culture. To even recognize that it occurs. No wonder kids find it so funny, because it makes adults so uncomfortable to even admit it has happened. And we all know anything that makes adults uncomfortable has to be funny.

If we con't find some existing acknowledgement for flatulence, we really should invent one and try to get it out in the world as an option.

Even the comedic blaming non existing animals really isn't the best way to handle it.

I think we can do better, I think we can figure out a decent way to acknowledge flatulence without making it a joke but instead more of the gesundheit wish for good health.

So in my internet wander to find if there was an answer out there, I did discover this is not the first time this question was asked. Which gives me some hope.

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/128060/god-bless-you-equivalent-for-fart/305906

But most answers to the question came up with the same, blame the imaginary animal.

In fact the only sort of decent suggestion was

Urban Dictionary has an apt definition:

   Bisto

   A fart. To be used in the expression "Ah, Bisto" inferring relief at the passing of some aromatic wind.

   Origin: Bisto adverts. The family sit down to eat and one member of the family (following a deep inhalation through the nose) expresses their delight at the smell provided by the gravy, by exclaiming: "Ah, Bisto".

   Q "Did you just let one go?"

   A "Ah, Bisto!"

   by TommyE February 16, 2004






But that seems a bit too unknown and it might be hard to get it to catch on.

could just stick with Gesundheit as a catch all. ---- Burp ---- "ah Gesundheit" ----- sneeze ----- "Gesundheit" ---- fart ---- "Gesundheit my friend"

Unless we figure out a better solution, I think I will be using it as a catch all.

BTW, when people say "excuse me" for a burp about 90% of the time I will say "No excuse needed it is a natural body function" and it is.
 
Mike Jay
steward
Posts: 4345
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
1084
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I'm thinking it's just a hole in the English language.  Maybe there's something in another language?  Problem is that it likely wouldn't catch on over here...

I'm kind of liking Namaste as long as it doesn't offend.  I believe the common translation is "I bow to the divine in you".  

I played with google translate for Nice Fart and "Bella scoreggia" came up for Itallian.  That could be an option.
 
pusang halaw
pollinator
Posts: 168
Location: Manila
31
urban cooking solar
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Mike Jay wrote:I'm kind of liking Namaste as long as it doesn't offend.

gives everyone an excuse to fart in yoga class 🙂
 
pollinator
Posts: 8298
Location: Victoria British Columbia-Canada
641
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I often fart my disapproval. If my a brother who has been working for me, has something to say after being instructed to shut up, I wait till he brings something up again and a fart is my response.

My daughter was bugging her boyfriend to do something he didn't want to do, I don't remember if it was a haircut or what. When she wouldn't let up, he raised his leg and let one go. She called me to tell me about it. "Dad, he's worse than you". :-)  I seriously doubt that, but he's young, so there's hope for him to one day reach my level.
 
pollinator
Posts: 869
Location: Virginia USDA 7a/b
153
hugelkultur forest garden hunting chicken food preservation bee
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I still remember this joke from my childhood (we are already in drivel, hope this is OK, and I too am stuck at 10)

Guy is meeting his girlfriend's family for the first time. They are notoriously uptight and eat bland food, so he hits Chipotle on the way over. By the time he arrives the disturbance is already evident.

They sit down for dinner and fortunately the family dog wanders over for a head scratch. He manages to release the pressure quietly. Her dad says "Rover, get out of here" and the dog leaves.

A few minutes later the pain is returning and the guy lures the dog back with a bit of food for a repeat. The dad says "Rover, get out of here!" The dog slinks out.

About ten minutes later he can see the dog peeking around the corner. He drops the food, motions the dog, and the dog comes close but just won't get next to him. He waits as long as he can, dropping more food. This is going to be close, he thinks. Dog's about four feet away but he just can't hold it. He lets it out.

Her dad yells "Rover, get out of there before he craps on you!!!"

Seriously, though, intestinal gas comes from two sources- swallowed air (even carbonation diffuses through the gut if it makes it down without a belch) and produced gas in the intestine. Swallowed air generally isn't foul on the way out. Rank gas generally means I ate something that I can't digest rapidly, and the intestinal flora metabolize it. We aren't ruminants, they have gas with normal gut movement. So if you are a farty party, that can mean you don't tolerate something, especially with enough production to cause cramping. This can lead to diverticulitis and gallbladder infection I would suspect.

Keep blaming the dog but avoid Chipotle is maybe the take-home...

 
Dale Hodgins
pollinator
Posts: 8298
Location: Victoria British Columbia-Canada
641
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I was watching something either on Nova or National Geographic where they showed men of different cultures entertaining children with flatulence. A guy in the rainforest did it, an Inuit man did it, and a guy in China did it. The commentator noted that he had never seen women of any culture entertaining children in this way. They used arm and leg movements along with exaggerated facial expressions, to the delight of young audiences.
 
gardener
Posts: 904
Location: Ohio, USA
153
dog forest garden fish fungi trees urban food preservation solar woodworking
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Austin Powers: [has just farted in Alotta's hot tub] Pardon me for being rude, it was not me, it was my food; it just popped up to say hello, but now it's gone back down below.
 
Mother Tree
Posts: 10876
Location: Portugal
1493
duck forest garden tiny house books wofati bike bee solar greening the desert
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have no idea why, but if you farted in school you had to say 'taxi'.  If you didn't, someone would yell 'sixers' and you'd get hit six times.

If someone else farted and failed to say taxi, you could say 'sixers' which then entitled you to hit them six times.  
 
Burra Maluca
Mother Tree
Posts: 10876
Location: Portugal
1493
duck forest garden tiny house books wofati bike bee solar greening the desert
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Amit Enventres wrote:
Austin Powers: [has just farted in Alotta's hot tub] Pardon me for being rude, it was not me, it was my food; it just popped up to say hello, but now it's gone back down below.



Ah, but that's incorrect usage, and incomplete.  The rest of the ditty goes

if it had not passed my heart
it would have come out as a fart



I've only heard it said after a burp, not a fart.
 
steward
Posts: 5748
Location: Missoula, MT
1122
hugelkultur purity forest garden books food preservation
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
When my kids were young, their dad had horrible flatulence. All. the. time.

It was so bad, that even his own mother gave him a "fart extinguisher" one year for his birthday. He was doing volunteer fire fighting at the time and it was air freshener spray made to look like a fire extinguisher. Priceless.

Later, we found out it was hard boiled eggs and peanut butter that he just could not digest, so taking those out of his diet helped us all!

Before adjusting his diet, it was easy to blame Dad, not the dog, and not Mom, for any awful smells.

So I convinced my kids that I never farted. That women don't fart.

They completely and utterly believed this.

That is, until one day, I took them to the library. We were off in a far corner, just my two kids and me; no one else around. And I couldn't help it - it was the worst SBD ever. (Silent But Deadly.) Both kids were so shocked they knew it had to have been from me.

"Mom!"

Pedastal smashed. Ah, well.

Currently, I do still try to hide or not subject others to farts. Sure they're natural and all, but the stink is not fun. As I get older, it's harder to do. And I seem to be less able to keep them quiet some times, too.

Paul laughs and tries to lighten the mood when he sees my struggle.

He'll say "these are not the droids you're looking for."

It's funny. And some of the noises do sound like droids! Not exactly 'gesundheit for flatulence' but hey, it works for me!
 
Posts: 48
12
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
As a teenager, after cutting loose,  my dad would say, "your voice is changing, but your breath still smells the same."
 
pollinator
Posts: 2885
Location: Toronto, Ontario
324
hugelkultur dog forest garden fungi trees rabbit urban wofati cooking bee homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I say "Bless you" after a sneeze, burp, belch, or fart. If the idea is, as was popular to say amongst religious school children at various times, to "cram that soul back in there" (thank you Milhouse van Houten), it can as easily escape via burp, belch, or fart as it can with a sneeze, so the logic holds.

Plus, it's delightfully irreverent.

-CK
 
Mike Jay
steward
Posts: 4345
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
1084
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Good one Chris!  I was stuck thinking of saying "God bless" which I think is too irreverent.  But "Bless you" would be ok by my standards.
 
pollinator
Posts: 346
Location: South of Capricorn
91
rabbit food preservation homestead
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
"woohoo"
"nice one"
"damn, dude"

I never realized how odd the commenting-on-sneezes thing ("bless you") was til I moved to places where you don't do it. Now when I come back to the US for a visit I'm always momentarily perplexed when someone says "gesundheit." I always want to respond, "no worries, my soul's still in here."
Perhaps this is a similar case?

In another lifetime when I taught English in Japan I had a hysterical class in which we were teaching formulaic language (please, thank you, after you, excuse me, never mind, good evening, etc). The students had pictures and needed to choose the right phrase. There was a picture of a woman sneezing and a man saying something. The students were at wits` end about what they needed to say. After much discussion their best guesses were "WOW what a sneeze" or "Did you hurt yourself? Do you need to go to the hospital?"
 
pollinator
Posts: 279
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
67
urban books building solar rocket stoves ungarbage
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Devin Lavign wrote:I don't know any for flatulence, but I like the idea.

On a side note, I prefer gesundheit as well. Plus I like to give it a little twist some times. By saying:

"Your Gesunda is too tight, you need to loosen it up." It tends to help make a smile or two and lighten the mood of an awkward sneeze.

I thought of it once thinking how Gesund sort of sounded like a word that could mean nose, and heit sort of sounded like someone in a hurry saying tight. (I have this tendency to automatically turn foreign words and saying into English sound similar versions)

I have been saying ever since on special occasions were a little humor might help.



When I'm the subject of a "Gesundheit!" (and sometimes if I am a bystander...) I reply "Comes out loose", usually after my second sneeze, since they seem to come in pairs for me...
I'm not sure that would be appropriate to utter after flatulence, among most folks (I never really counted myself among them though).

I kinda like the "Ah, Bisto!", it's obscurity renders it non-offensive while also acknowledging the event. Plus the reference stands up, if you dig deeper.

"Second door on the right/left!" might also be a good retort. (reference to both: #2, and the fairly standard directions to find the bathroom...)
 
master pollinator
Posts: 668
Location: Ontario, Canada
129
homestead
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I think we should revert to German.  How about:

Ausgezeichnet Auspuff

Translated, it means exhaust in a pleasing manner, but I don't know if it's grammatically correct.

Auspuff is one of my favourite German words.  
 
gardener
Posts: 1734
Location: Officially Zone 7b, according to personal obsevations I live in 7a, SW Tennessee
558
forest garden books food preservation cooking bee
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Farts, and manly humor. Hmm.

My Hunny also loves fart jokes. When the Kid was an infant, Hunny taught him to clap after each fart. It could be amusing at home. Not so funny in the middle of a sermon, when the sleeping Kid farts, waking up just enough to give a beatific smile and thunderous clapping, then settling back into sleep. Ahem.


Did you know that farts contain a substance that may increase the length of our lives? It is Hydrogen Sulfide. This article from Science Daily, in part, states...

"Although the maximum extension of survival time varied between experiments, the effect was quite robust. On average, 77 percent of the worms exposed to H2S outlived the untreated worms," Roth said. The mean life span of worms grown in an atmosphere laced with hydrogen sulfide was 9.6 days greater than that of the untreated population, a longevity increase of 70 percent.”


I believe the above article was referencing this study.

Thus, in my home, the go to response for a fart has become... "Breathe deep. Live long!"

Men!
 
Chris Kott
pollinator
Posts: 2885
Location: Toronto, Ontario
324
hugelkultur dog forest garden fungi trees rabbit urban wofati cooking bee homestead
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I suppose another approach could be to have a vermiculture bin or room where you go to break wind. Wouldn't that literally be extending the vitality of your vermicomposting by 70%?

-CK
 
master steward
Posts: 9042
Location: Pacific Northwest
3363
hugelkultur kids cat duck forest garden foraging fiber arts sheep wood heat homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
One time, when my son was four, he farted in the car and said, "Mmmm, I like it." And then continued to fart and say that for months afterward. So, sometimes we'll joke and say that, especially if we're in the car.

I've always wanted something to say when someone starts coughing. For want of a phrase, back in high school I started saying, "Don't die." It's become a habit, and so I say it whenever someone coughs or mildly chokes.

On the topic of farts, my husband used to have horrifically putrid farts. He would also be constipated for a week+ on a regular basis. And had a lot of other signs of IBS. And then his IBS turned into full-fledged Crohns. He's now on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet for his Crohns, which basically focuses on feeding the good gut bacteria and starving the bad ones...and he no longer has farts. I generally don't have stinky farts unless I eat grains or processed junk. The fact that my son has stinky farts worries me. I see bad gas a as a sign that all is not well in the gut. If you've got consistently stinky and even painful gas, it might be worth looking into what in your diet might be causing it. Because, sometimes--like with my husband--not taking care of the gut can lead to far worse conditions. Trust me, you DO NOT want Crohns.
 
Amit Enventres
gardener
Posts: 904
Location: Ohio, USA
153
dog forest garden fish fungi trees urban food preservation solar woodworking
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Say:
One smart fella, he felt smart
Two smart fellas they felt smart
Three smart fellas, they felt smart


By the end you'll have smelt fart
 
No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. This time, do it with this tiny ad:
permaculture bootcamp - learn permaculture through a little hard work
https://permies.com/wiki/bootcamp
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!