posted 9 years ago
It has happened. We are now equal. For me it comes as a bittersweet event. The years of struggle are far from over for true equality, for us and all people of all flavors. However the right for two one's to be one is a powerful and natural event. The geese join for life. Nothing sadder than to see a single goose flying. In nature it is common for same sex couples. Life is hard. Here and there love and commitment rules the day.
I buried my former partner of 20 years in March three years ago. He fell into drugs and someone else who loved the drugs. This spring, again I was the only one to lay flowers on his grave. All the very educated and wonderful people who vilified me and cut me out, for all the great people they are just ask them, not a leaf, flower or note to say we loved you and wish you were still here. I waited till after Memorial Day to clean his grave and put some plants there. Here at Silverbrook Cemetery, Niles MI, lies William Allen Hecker the III between his parents and by relatives. We had talked about marriage many times.
Long gone is the bastard that killed him. No one cared, Fag died in a crack house. I actually heard someone say that. It is hard to be non violent at times.
Marriage is about love, for the state and legal reasons it is a contract. A contract with God? Sure, between you and your cultural God. With that I hope everyone finds love and true happiness. Marriage with the state is all laws. Rights of inheritance, medical issues and property rights are just a few. Finances are a major issue also and that is nothing to sniff at.
Sorry. I find myself a little jagged writing this.
Two nights ago in Detroit at a bar/resaurant full of hipsters and other young people the subject came up. Yea! Marriage, the subject was already becomeing boring to them. When a youngster said something to the effect "big deal" I exploded in a bit of a fit.
I explained louder and louder as a coldness filled my heart. The days of being singled out. Refused service, brutalized by the police and system. Death, I watched all my friends, many hero's, saviors and people I loved die from disease/Aids/HIV. SO many lost everything when the partner died and the hateful family or state swooped in. Homelessness was and still is a major issue for couples that break up of any flavor. The human suffering caused when these people who called them selves religious literally take and destroy the remaining partners life. Often stealing the things that were the others belongings and money. Judges and the police were particularly cruel often. Many a victim died homeless and penniless from the lack of protection. From the lack of kindness. Worse they died alone because they were refused company, by the family or hospital, from the long term partner/lover. Note, not all partners are lovers and sexual.
With that said. I saw amazing acts of kindness and dignity.
The nuns, volunteers and I held many a hand as they passed. Died in a strange place away from their home and life.
The bar was silent. I did not realize I was standing up talking, no preaching to the whole bar for quite some time. The bartender unplugged the music. The place was silent. Privately marriage is about God and LOVE! I can go with that. The state and federal gov it is exclusively about rights and laws pertaining to rights.
I upset many a person. Sorry kids. Dont drink with old people. We have an ability to tell the truth and get away with it.
Latter, the evening away from there. My partner and I sat in the car in a part of the city about to be torn down for rich people condo's and playthings. All my old haunts and ghosts there are long gone. We were to get married once. I asked and he accepted. After his family and the people who run the family company attacked him about me, he retracted it. Its like, cant we just be lovers and date forever. HE actually just avoids the subject at all costs. I told him that it is cool to run parallel like train tracks for a time. However, in time, I will demand more. I have come so far. Fought for so much and won little. Now, we have something. We all have more. Marriage for me is about love, screw the state. I am getting older. I will be 50 soon. There are some very real life issues on the table. What I am not sure if he understand. It is not my pride or the law. It is my heart. It is my soul. The one I have to trust will hold it in safety when I may not be able too. Trust, no secrets. To be number one for the first time in my life.
That is marriage. The non stuff stuff.
Am I selfish? No. There are some things a guy or gal should not compromise on. I have given and given in this world. Bittersweet as it may be. The sun is a little brighter for us all. Everyone be thankful.
I have never met a stranger, I have met some strange ones.