Gay, the old frontier. We never left the country

Queer single here in southern IL. Photo is of me in the midst of my tomato plants...

Thank you Daniel Morse for standing up for yourself and for those less able, or too scared, to stand up for themselves. Things are getting better because of people like yourself, and I'm truly grateful for your courage and steadfastness.

I'm new to this site in search of community and conversation. I'm a country boy at heart that happens to be happily partnered with a diehard city boy. We've been partnered for over 35 years, and I have realized for a long time that my vision of spending my days in a rural setting immersed in country living is just a pipe dream. My city friends are lovely people with the best intentions, but they are unable to relate to the things that truly interest me. Although I have a number of friends, I feel lonely and isolated. It may sound odd, but what I think I need is some meaningful conversation. I wonder if anyone else ever feels that way?

Hi all ! I've always wanted to live small , even as a kid i drew sketches of floor plans and hoping some day my dream will come true . A few years later i took an interest in small camping trailers , loved the looks and compactness of all the built-ins . That got me hooked . I filled in a few requests for brochures the ones you find inside magazines . When i got them , i would drool over the beautiful pictures and dream . It wasn't until i moved to Kingston , Ontario i rented an apartment for 15 years and then bought my house . Freedom at last i thought . Since i have been here , i have struggled to stay afloat . I lived on my own in the house for two years but needed more income to pay my bills , so i rented the two bedrooms out to students , that helped . I am still renting out to students but i need to sell and move to the country so i can go off grid . This will bring me full circle because i will build a small house more suited to my needs . I'm 51 , Gay , single and never had a partner . I can't wait till this happens , i will be free of Dept and a whole lot happier . I might even find a caring mate . I included a few pictures of my hobby , that is restoring vintage trailers and a new garage to work on them .

People call me Dragon, but my name is Ingram and I turn 22 in a few days.
I'm living in an intentional community in Virginia State,
I spend my time taking care of the food gardens, goats, and chickens.
I'm extremely crafty, and I spend my free time making what ever inspires me.
I'm energetic, enthusiastic, composed, quirky, fun, loving, and a free spirit.

I love getting to know new people and age isn't something I care about.
Feel free to send me an e-mail, I'm not actively seeking a relationship,
but I strongly feel that making connections with people is what makes things
possible in this world.

"Alone we may not have it all together, but together we can have it all. "

Athene.Brama24@gmail.com

Bi female here. Just noticed this thread and have to poke in (:

Ingrahm where-abouts in Virginia are ya? I am currently living in VA as well (:


I was born in Detroit MI and my dad literally grew up around the block from eminem. When i was 8 my family moved to the familys farm in Ohio and i really grew up there and still love it there. Though i have done short term living in MD and currently in VA. Its my dream to have my own farm or to move out to pauls lab.

I am very much not what people assume when they see me. Ilisten to all types of music and dabble in all sorts of crafts. I adore farm life and critters. I dispise large urban areas and even my hometown of 500 people drives me nuts. I entered to be on the tv show "The Colony" one year though i wasnt accepted. And it would be another lifes dream to make my own documentary similar to "iCaveman".

Lol ok i will stop rambling now >^..^<

Here is me demonstrating the drop spindle at a fall festival:


Just me:

Hi Everyone,

Really liked the thread so I thought I would say hi. Living in London, England but building a sustainable idyll back in my hometown in upstate NY. Hoping to find more like minded people in the north country.

All the best

Jason

tjayhike@gmail.com

A.J. (Amy) living in Columbus, Ohio here. But only my mom still calls me Amy.

I am very happy to see this post.

Let's see. About me. Sadly, I am recently out of a 6+ year relationship. I didn't realize my relationship was deteriorating until it was too late. I guess I should have paid better attention. It has been about 7 months since the break and I think I am starting to heal. I have thrown myself into permaculture study to deal with all of my new found free time. Can I just say that I have learned a ton??!!!

I love to laugh and make others laugh. There has been more and more of that in my life recently. Which makes me feel like I am back in a good place.

Words to describe me: charismatic, sarcastic, adventurous, curious, tenacious. Here is my mug.



Not bad for a gal turning 40 this year if I do say so myself.

A.J.

From my farm in Cebu, Philippines
35 years old here and single... Hi everyone!

Randi, is that a young water buffalo?
Hmm, I don't think so actually.
What do you produce on your farm? I don't know much at all about the Philippines

Leila Rich wrote:Randi, is that a young water buffalo?
Hmm, I don't think so actually.
What do you produce on your farm? I don't know much at all about the Philippines

Hi there...we call it Carabao in the Visayas, Philippines..yes its a domesticated water buffalo.

so far im just starting to plant tropical fruit trees and prepared an area near my natural pond for my ducks.

as of the moment i am not yet doing full work on my farm since i dont have a house there yet.. and i dont have

someone to entrust to, if ever i will start developing the farm.

i still live mostly in Cebu City, which is 45 minutes away from the farm...

for now just planting different kind of trees for my mini forest and fruits of course...

Most probably i will start my plans next year when i will be able to build my small native Hut, so i can spend most of my time there....

my thread: https://permies.com/t/19767/intentional-community/Dream-Permaculture-Farm-Cebu-Philippines#316724

Well, i am a lot country and my new partner is a lot city. In fact total city. So, what s a middle aged country fried guy to do?

Buy a cheep as dirt house in Detroit and we live there full time soon and I keep my place in the country and will continue to permaculture it.

He went to the best prep schools and college. I went and got a job after high school. He drives a nice car, I have a rusty old car and older Ford 250. He likes my truck. We bought a house with double lot in Hamtramck. We will see how it will work. I am optimistic. I have room for solar, lots of garden and I hope chickens. I am 46 and he is 36.

For any gay singles or couples looking to get away from the "normal" way of living, we live on an 88 acre land cooperative. We are an intentional community and are fully off grid. We produce a lot of the food we eat as well. We are looking for new members to join our community, preferably gay! We are diverse, practice permaculture, consensus decision making, and value the land on which we live. If you are interested, we still have a share and house available. Check out our website at maalandcoop.ca

Feel free to msg me.... I"m a F.A.B.B. queer two-spirit, looking for likeminded friends and hopefully will find ''the one" along the way....

Hi all,
My name's James, I'm a college student in NY a year out from graduating. I grew up rural and want to get back out into the country and into permaculture as soon as I'm done. I'm open to trying to live just about anywhere and want to meet more like-minded people, so if any of you have ideas for me or just want to chat please shoot me a message! There aren't enough of us out here

Howdy there. It's great to see a few friends on here.Thought I better post a message of solidarity.

My partner and I live in Nova Scotia, we are a part of a local Gay friendly Prepping group. That is made up of off griders, transtion town folk and homesteaders. I am interested in plowing with pigs, Food forests, all things pioneering and living the simple life.

Strait and agro. lol. But just wanting to send the love and solidarity to my LGBT permi and prepper pepes.

Ladies, Gents and all you transgender and people friendly people,

I am so proud of everyone that has posted on this thread (for want of a better word) and have had positive comments. Thank you!

Everyone please thank our fearless leader as he created this place. Him and his plans of world domination of Permaculture. Bluhahahaha, bluhahahaha! You devil Paul.

Now, spring is around the corner. I am checking out seeds and plants. I have a lot of plans. Lets share any cool stuff we are doing. Any community stuff. Recently here in Hamtramck I ran into some like minded folks who were devastated that the community garden space is being built upon as it was sold to a developer. I do not hate developers, just with so many empty buildings, why build on empty lots? I will tell you. Unfair land use law ignorant but well meaning local officials.

So, this year I am asking everyone this. Please try to educate people of good land practice and use. City, rural and suburban all can exist and needs too. The study of history shows that it has to balance. Teach and talk to people. Go to meetings and present the subjects well. I feel time is short as the carpetbaggers are always in the wings. I sound dire, I do as it is. I am watching Detroit be cut up. Water is higher than some parts of California and predatory laws and taxation is not just our problem, it is a situation coming to you too!

Keep warm everyone. Plan well now for your spring! You all rock!

BTW, a pic of me at the old family farm I am transitioning from. It is part of the family original homestead going back to the original land grants. Winter and it is still a beautiful place.

Hey folks of the good earth. Spring is here. Any new ideas for the year? I feel change in the wind. Lets all talk nor before we get busy!

The melt is on! How is everyone doing? Ideas on crops and or gardens?

I came across this thread by chance and wonder how those of you who found compatible partners did so.

I'm a single, mid-20s lesbian actively working towards a homestead. I'm learning to garden and am in the process of building a house alone. All the lesbians I meet are extroverted city girls who would never dream of living the hermit life I love. They're too young and inexperienced in life to find permaculture appealing; I feel like all I can do is wait for them to catch up to me in 30 years when they're thinking about retirement. On the flip side, I've met so many straight people who are very interested in what I'm trying to do...if only!

Embarking on this journey alone has made me dream of having someone else to share it with. I don't need company but it sure would be nice. None of the traditional avenues have worked. Where is she?

I feel the same Alicia.

I agree too. All I can think of is keep cultivating the straight people and hope they have some gay friends!

Not sure if any of you folks had seen this post

These guys are awesome and have been dreaming of building a community for decades.

Hello fellow permies! Pride Month is almost over, and I hope we all have been having a good time! I wish to all singles who are searching for a partner the best of luck! And the USA recently made me smile; gay marriage is finally legal across the entire USA! Check out Judith's post here!

It has happened. We are now equal. For me it comes as a bittersweet event. The years of struggle are far from over for true equality, for us and all people of all flavors. However the right for two one's to be one is a powerful and natural event. The geese join for life. Nothing sadder than to see a single goose flying. In nature it is common for same sex couples. Life is hard. Here and there love and commitment rules the day.

I buried my former partner of 20 years in March three years ago. He fell into drugs and someone else who loved the drugs. This spring, again I was the only one to lay flowers on his grave. All the very educated and wonderful people who vilified me and cut me out, for all the great people they are just ask them, not a leaf, flower or note to say we loved you and wish you were still here. I waited till after Memorial Day to clean his grave and put some plants there. Here at Silverbrook Cemetery, Niles MI, lies William Allen Hecker the III between his parents and by relatives. We had talked about marriage many times.

Long gone is the bastard that killed him. No one cared, Fag died in a crack house. I actually heard someone say that. It is hard to be non violent at times.

Marriage is about love, for the state and legal reasons it is a contract. A contract with God? Sure, between you and your cultural God. With that I hope everyone finds love and true happiness. Marriage with the state is all laws. Rights of inheritance, medical issues and property rights are just a few. Finances are a major issue also and that is nothing to sniff at.

Sorry. I find myself a little jagged writing this.

Two nights ago in Detroit at a bar/resaurant full of hipsters and other young people the subject came up. Yea! Marriage, the subject was already becomeing boring to them. When a youngster said something to the effect "big deal" I exploded in a bit of a fit.

I explained louder and louder as a coldness filled my heart. The days of being singled out. Refused service, brutalized by the police and system. Death, I watched all my friends, many hero's, saviors and people I loved die from disease/Aids/HIV. SO many lost everything when the partner died and the hateful family or state swooped in. Homelessness was and still is a major issue for couples that break up of any flavor. The human suffering caused when these people who called them selves religious literally take and destroy the remaining partners life. Often stealing the things that were the others belongings and money. Judges and the police were particularly cruel often. Many a victim died homeless and penniless from the lack of protection. From the lack of kindness. Worse they died alone because they were refused company, by the family or hospital, from the long term partner/lover. Note, not all partners are lovers and sexual.

With that said. I saw amazing acts of kindness and dignity.

The nuns, volunteers and I held many a hand as they passed. Died in a strange place away from their home and life.

The bar was silent. I did not realize I was standing up talking, no preaching to the whole bar for quite some time. The bartender unplugged the music. The place was silent. Privately marriage is about God and LOVE! I can go with that. The state and federal gov it is exclusively about rights and laws pertaining to rights.

I upset many a person. Sorry kids. Dont drink with old people. We have an ability to tell the truth and get away with it.


Latter, the evening away from there. My partner and I sat in the car in a part of the city about to be torn down for rich people condo's and playthings. All my old haunts and ghosts there are long gone. We were to get married once. I asked and he accepted. After his family and the people who run the family company attacked him about me, he retracted it. Its like, cant we just be lovers and date forever. HE actually just avoids the subject at all costs. I told him that it is cool to run parallel like train tracks for a time. However, in time, I will demand more. I have come so far. Fought for so much and won little. Now, we have something. We all have more. Marriage for me is about love, screw the state. I am getting older. I will be 50 soon. There are some very real life issues on the table. What I am not sure if he understand. It is not my pride or the law. It is my heart. It is my soul. The one I have to trust will hold it in safety when I may not be able too. Trust, no secrets. To be number one for the first time in my life.

That is marriage. The non stuff stuff.

Am I selfish? No. There are some things a guy or gal should not compromise on. I have given and given in this world. Bittersweet as it may be. The sun is a little brighter for us all. Everyone be thankful.

Daniel, well said and heart felt as always....thanks for that

Daniel, my heart goes out to you for the loss of your partner. My longest relationship was four years, and I can attest to the fact that gay relationships are hard. The fact that you and he had 20 years together speaks volumes about your level of commitment. I hope you're well buddy.

Steve Sulli wrote:... We've been partnered for over 35 years, and I have realized for a long time that my vision of spending my days in a rural setting immersed in country living is just a pipe dream. My city friends are lovely people with the best intentions, but they are unable to relate to the things that truly interest me. Although I have a number of friends, I feel lonely and isolated. It may sound odd, but what I think I need is some meaningful conversation. I wonder if anyone else ever feels that way?

I feel the same way Steve. Being stuck currently in a rapidly urbanizing suburb (formerly desert farm and pastureland; Calamity Jane lived on a farm in this very neighborhood as a child--now we have dozens of banks and zero farms), there is little opportunity for meaningful conversation here either. And when you most need to feel sympatico with someone, the city feels extra bleak. I always give away more of my produce than I really ought to my friends in the hopes it will spark an interest for them in more agrarian matters. But although they love my heirloom tomatoes ("We didn't know a tomato could taste that good! Gosh, and they're so damn ugly...") the interest is eclipsed with the inevitable arrival of the next season of Downton Abbey, or what have you. Perhaps interest in cultivation is itself, ironically, a wild thing, uncultivable in others, sprouting only its own pleasing habitat.

Now here comes winter, which for me cues the season of intensest farm-envy.

Wow this was the last thing I expected to find here!!! Nice to know I can be me and still be taken seriously in my new adventure. I have been browsing many forums lately and this is the first I have come across that even remotely touches on the subject.

This thread makes me happy. I self-identify as queer though I am in an apparent straight marriage.

Permaculture is diverse!

Single gaybo here too I must say there are some wonderful beards on this thread! I can't seem to grow one, except downy fluff, and as i'm 29 now the prospects don't look good for future developments.

Thanks for starting this thread Daniel... It's great to see other gay Permies out there, to have a voice! I've been meaning to post an intro here for a long time... I'm 53, currently living along the central Oregon coast, near Newport. I'm not looking to settle directly along the coast, so I've begun looking for gay and Permie-friendly areas to explore for land to homestead. I've been looking primarily in the Pacific NW, and if you have a suggestion, even outside of the NW, please lemme know. I'm looking for less blistering hot summers, left Austin, TX 3+ years ago due to the extreme summers and drought... Of course I could be coaxed out of my comfort zone to hibernate with a husbear... He, he, eh...

Nice to see all the nice folks and messages here. Keep the thread going!

Timbo

teembo@gmail.com

Echoing "was not expecting this". Southeast region of USA in Florida. Hmm, be the change you want to see in the world is my favorite quote. Also "A kite is joy on a leash".

Like depth and probing the unknown.

Another pair here in the southwest US. We live in a medium sized city in a home circled by small yards areas- it's not a lot of overall land area, but a great find for affordable property in the core urban area. I'm the permie and my wife's the artist. I'm just getting started on the real work here as we enter our third year at this property. We're in 7b zone. Much of the task at hand is soil and water. Our house, while lovely and updated, was foreclosed on then stood vacant for 2-3 years. In our neck of the woods that makes soil into dust. So the surviving trees and plants are hearty but the soil is pretty much hydrophobic. We keep 2-3 hens, bees, and cats. I've been observing (of course!), getting structures like chicken pen and coop built, and the first plant projects were a dwarf/semi-dwarf fruit orchardlette and a plot next to the chook coop where I've put in grapes and berry bushes (with vines twined to eventually shade the coop). Next is pulling up gravel mulch and repurposing it for wicking bed media for annual beds and getting the newly exposed, rock free area amended for perennials (placed to take advantage of roof edge rain flow).

Oh, and in our city, which is really queer-friendly, I know a few other lesbian and bi permies.

Hello Permies. I am glad everyone is involved and still keeping this thread alive. Thank you Paul. Please send us a word of encouragement!

So, who is planting what right now? I ready to plant potatoes asap. I think next week will do. We had snow on the ground on Monday. Here in SW and SE Michigan.

As our world turns and Adele is on the radio. A radio older than I am and that is a (gasp) 48 now. Like the radio, I still can play a good tune when needed.

SO, I am going to lay in some flax. I do not expect a great crop as the ground is a fresh till. Still it is also a local thing. A small plot here in Hazel Park MI and also at the small place I have outside Kalamazoo. My parents think it is interesting and they are willing to gimme use of of space also. I had a hotbox set up but it was vandalised. LOl. I think the kids on 8mile thought I was cloning pot plants. Silly kids trampled it all.

Looking for some heirloom fruit trees. Anyone got anything local or a drive away?

Anyway, Happy Spring and let's keep in touch!

BTW, the Flint water crisis is very real. Something bigger is at work here. Watch your local water supplies and be aware of what is going on. I have included a current pic I took on my bday last month and a pork roast we harvested off my brothers farm. Amazing meat. He had a good life and quick death. May I be as lucky,...lol.

Hello and happy pride month, remember stonewall & our his/herstories...
So far I have gotten cabbage, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, peppers, and marrigolds planted in the ground...few other plants on the way to be put in...
Hope to one day in not too distant future have a lot more of my property for garden useage.

BTW this is me-

Female over 40yrs old...
Have yet to figure out how to place photos in my profile.. so here is one more...

I posted over a year ago about where to find a partner as a mid-20s lesbian. I just wanted to update and say I'm pretty sure I've found her. We met over the internet through one of my hobbies unrelated to permaculture and became fast friends. She lived in a major city her entire life and knew nothing about the country. I didn't think in a million years she'd want to live the way I do, but when I breached the topic she was open to it. I've since brought her to the middle of nowhere. It's a slow process but she's eager to learn and adapt.

So if you're feeling hopelessly single don't discount city folk. Teach them and they may surprise you. They may also mistake the sound of a cicada for a rattlesnake.