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Last night

 
pollinator
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My baby brother died last night.  He was only 33. I don't really know what to do.
 
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oh Trace...I'm so sorry.

 
master gardener
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So very sorry too Trace :(
 
steward
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I'm so sorry Trace. I'm speechless.
 
pollinator
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How awful and sad.
 
steward
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Please be sure to take good care of yourself, Trace. Please eat enough food; please go to bed and sleep when you feel tired. Please be sure to talk to people when you are upset.
 
master steward
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Oh Trace, I'm so sorry.  I don't have the words to help but hopefully you have family or friends you can just hug and cry with.  
 
pioneer
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So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your brother, Trace. Please take care of yourself as others have suggested. Let yourself feel your feelings, even if there is some guilt or anger (common), but try not to dwell on those. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need, and think of the good times and the positives of your brother's life/legacy. Talk and share with others - proud of you that you did that here. Grief support groups are common in every locale at no cost. If you are affiliated with a church or religion, clergy are well-trained to help you with sudden loss. It's going to be a process, and the only thing you can "do" is take your time to get thru it in a healthy way. Sending support and best wishes, MB.
 
pollinator
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Trace, I lost one of my brothers a few years back. Aorta exploded. I do not know if you are a spiritual person but please have faith that you will see him again. He will always be part of you and you part of him. Cry when you need to and smile when you think of him. Watch for subtle signs that he is still around. Keep moving forward and live life as he would want you to do. Peace to you and your family.
 
Trace Oswald
pollinator
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Thank you all.

Miles, you may find this interesting.  I do.  I'm not religious, I'm not even spiritual, but I read your post about watching for subtle signs of him.  Here is a not-so-subtle thing that happened to me.  I was at my parent's house sitting in the sun room with them, making funeral arrangements for my brother.  A huge grey owl flew down and landed on a branch near the window and just sat watching us for 5 or 10 minutes before flying off.  I've never seen one there before.  I'm choosing to believe that was my brother letting us know he was there.
 
Miles Flansburg
pollinator
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Trace, that is exactly what I was talking about. My brother was a huge big game hunter. Elk where his love. I live in a suburb south of Denver. After his death I was driving to work on a very foggy day. Suddenly out of the fog came a large herd of elk , crossing the road right in front of me. I have never seen elk in the city, before or since.

My father planted several apricot trees , they never bloomed or had fruit. We talked several times about what we could due to correct this. The spring after his death the trees bloomed and where loaded with fruit.

I have several other stories like this that convince me that there is more to us than just this life we see and live.
 
gardener
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I am sorry too. That sucks so badly. ;(
 
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If he had children, the best thing you can do, is to make yourself available to them. Aunts and uncles become much more important to children who are orphaned.
 
master steward
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I am pleased that you have found some comfort. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter the pain you feel, life does continue. Allow yourself to feel the joys in your life as they occur. Having a good moment despite his absence does not equate to disloyalty
 
steward & bricolagier
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Trace:
There are never any words, and trying to type anything is words, and I am always at a loss ...
HUGS HUGS HUGS

:D
 
Trace Oswald
pollinator
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Pearl Sutton wrote:Trace:
There are never any words, and trying to type anything is words, and I am always at a loss ...
HUGS HUGS HUGS

:D



Thank you Pearl.  I appreciate that very much.

A very special friend gave me a card after my brother died and in it she wrote "Words are hard.  This sucks.  Thinking of you."  Of all the wonderful sentiments people shared, that was my favorite.
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
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Trace Oswald wrote:

A very special friend gave me a card after my brother died and in it she wrote "Words are hard.  This sucks.  Thinking of you."  Of all the wonderful sentiments people shared, that was my favorite.


I'm SO going to use that line. I never know what to say.
 
pollinator
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I am so sorry to hear this...

I lost my 19 year old sister in a car accident, so I know how you feel. Again I am sorry....
 
pollinator
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Aw man, that is a real blow. I'm thinking of you, Trace.
 
gardener
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Trace, it's been a while, but I hope you're hanging in there. I know in my experience that grief comes and goes. As time passes you get better at dealing with it, but it can still hit you real hard, and I was surprised at how sometimes even with time it can sneak up on you. Take care of yourself.
 
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