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Last night

 
Trace Oswald
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My baby brother died last night.  He was only 33. I don't really know what to do.

A build too cool to miss:Mike's GreenhouseA great example:Joseph's Garden
All the soil info you'll ever need:
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Judith Browning
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oh Trace...I'm so sorry.

"We're all just walking each other home." -Ram Dass
"Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder."-Rumi
"It's all one song!" -Neil Young

 
Greg Martin
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So very sorry too Trace :(

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
James Freyr
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I'm so sorry Trace. I'm speechless.

"Study books and observe nature; if they do not agree, throw away the books." ~ William A. Albrecht

 
Tyler Ludens
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How awful and sad.

Idle dreamer

 
Dave Burton
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Please be sure to take good care of yourself, Trace. Please eat enough food; please go to bed and sleep when you feel tired. Please be sure to talk to people when you are upset.

Dave's SKIP BB's / Welcome to Permies! / Permaculture Resources / Dave's Boot Adventures & Longview Projects

 
Mike Haasl
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Oh Trace, I'm so sorry.  I don't have the words to help but hopefully you have family or friends you can just hug and cry with.  

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Mary Beth Alexander
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So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your brother, Trace. Please take care of yourself as others have suggested. Let yourself feel your feelings, even if there is some guilt or anger (common), but try not to dwell on those. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need, and think of the good times and the positives of your brother's life/legacy. Talk and share with others - proud of you that you did that here. Grief support groups are common in every locale at no cost. If you are affiliated with a church or religion, clergy are well-trained to help you with sudden loss. It's going to be a process, and the only thing you can "do" is take your time to get thru it in a healthy way. Sending support and best wishes, MB.

Innovations that are guided by smallholder farmers, adapted to local circumstances, and sustainable for the economy and environment will be necessary to ensure food security in the future. Bill Gates

 
Miles Flansburg
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Trace, I lost one of my brothers a few years back. Aorta exploded. I do not know if you are a spiritual person but please have faith that you will see him again. He will always be part of you and you part of him. Cry when you need to and smile when you think of him. Watch for subtle signs that he is still around. Keep moving forward and live life as he would want you to do. Peace to you and your family.

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Trace Oswald
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Thank you all.

Miles, you may find this interesting.  I do.  I'm not religious, I'm not even spiritual, but I read your post about watching for subtle signs of him.  Here is a not-so-subtle thing that happened to me.  I was at my parent's house sitting in the sun room with them, making funeral arrangements for my brother.  A huge grey owl flew down and landed on a branch near the window and just sat watching us for 5 or 10 minutes before flying off.  I've never seen one there before.  I'm choosing to believe that was my brother letting us know he was there.

A build too cool to miss:Mike's GreenhouseA great example:Joseph's Garden
All the soil info you'll ever need:
Redhawk's excellent soil-building series

 
Miles Flansburg
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Trace, that is exactly what I was talking about. My brother was a huge big game hunter. Elk where his love. I live in a suburb south of Denver. After his death I was driving to work on a very foggy day. Suddenly out of the fog came a large herd of elk , crossing the road right in front of me. I have never seen elk in the city, before or since.

My father planted several apricot trees , they never bloomed or had fruit. We talked several times about what we could due to correct this. The spring after his death the trees bloomed and where loaded with fruit.

I have several other stories like this that convince me that there is more to us than just this life we see and live.

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Sonja Draven
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I am sorry too. That sucks so badly. ;(

The wishbone never could replace the backbone.

 
Dale Hodgins
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If he had children, the best thing you can do, is to make yourself available to them. Aunts and uncles become much more important to children who are orphaned.
 
Joylynn Hardesty
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I am pleased that you have found some comfort. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter the pain you feel, life does continue. Allow yourself to feel the joys in your life as they occur. Having a good moment despite his absence does not equate to disloyalty
 
Pearl Sutton
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Trace:
There are never any words, and trying to type anything is words, and I am always at a loss ...
HUGS HUGS HUGS

:D

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Trace Oswald
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Pearl Sutton wrote:Trace:
There are never any words, and trying to type anything is words, and I am always at a loss ...
HUGS HUGS HUGS

:D



Thank you Pearl.  I appreciate that very much.

A very special friend gave me a card after my brother died and in it she wrote "Words are hard.  This sucks.  Thinking of you."  Of all the wonderful sentiments people shared, that was my favorite.

A build too cool to miss:Mike's GreenhouseA great example:Joseph's Garden
All the soil info you'll ever need:
Redhawk's excellent soil-building series

 
Pearl Sutton
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Trace Oswald wrote:

A very special friend gave me a card after my brother died and in it she wrote "Words are hard.  This sucks.  Thinking of you."  Of all the wonderful sentiments people shared, that was my favorite.


I'm SO going to use that line. I never know what to say.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Travis Johnson
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I am so sorry to hear this...

I lost my 19 year old sister in a car accident, so I know how you feel. Again I am sorry....
 
Phil Stevens
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Aw man, that is a real blow. I'm thinking of you, Trace.
 
Tereza Okava
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Trace, it's been a while, but I hope you're hanging in there. I know in my experience that grief comes and goes. As time passes you get better at dealing with it, but it can still hit you real hard, and I was surprised at how sometimes even with time it can sneak up on you. Take care of yourself.
 
Trace Oswald
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Yesterday was my brother's birthday.  I'm still struggling with the idea that he is gone.  Life can be very hard sometimes.

A build too cool to miss:Mike's GreenhouseA great example:Joseph's Garden
All the soil info you'll ever need:
Redhawk's excellent soil-building series

 
Pearl Sutton
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HUGS HUGS HUGS
I wish I had wise words for you....

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Tereza Okava
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Hi Trace. I'm sorry. These days (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) are really hard. I don't miss the people any less, but I like to believe that I am getting a little bit better at dealing with how the emotions affect me as the time goes by. Remember to take care of yourself as you celebrate the memory of your brother.
 
Carla Burke
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I'm so sorry, Trace... I wish I could tell you it gets easier. I'm sorry.  

"The only thing...more expensive than education is ignorance."~Ben Franklin
"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." ~ Plato

 
Phil Stevens
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These milestones can be as tough as the original loss. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
 
Heather Sharpe
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My heart goes out to you, Trace. What happened and what you're going through sucks and is really hard. It's totally normal and even healthy to still be feeling sadness now and anytime in the future it may arise. Just keep allowing yourself to feel the feelings and do what you need to take care of you. Ask for support when it's needed. I know words can't take away the pain, so feel free to ignore them and just feel the hugs, healing and support being sent your way.

Losing someone so young makes it far harder to accept, I feel. You probably imagined having so much more time together. Having it cut short could feel unfair and wrong. Maybe there were things you thought you'd have the chance to say or do, but didn't get to. If that is so, I wonder if finding some way to express those things could help you? You could write them down or speak them aloud. Or imagine a conversation with him or whatever would give you a bit more closure. Again, feel free to ignore this. I just felt called to share the idea.  

I'm sure you know that the Earth is a great healer, whether that's just being out in nature or letting yourself sink into the support of the ground under you and let all the feelings be absorbed into it.  

Keep looking and feeling for subtle signs of his presence, as was so wisely suggested before. I know sometimes I have sensed the presence of loved ones long gone and found great comfort in that. I don't know what you believe, but I feel we can still connect and communicate with those who have passed beyond the veil. Maybe it's just imagination, I don't know. But if it helps, does it really matter?

I'm so sorry for your loss. All the hugs.

“Action on behalf of life transforms. Because the relationship between self and the world is reciprocal, it is not a question of first getting enlightened or saved and then acting. As we work to heal the earth, the earth heals us.” ~ Robin Wall Kimmerer

 
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