Win a Fokin hoe blade this week in the Gear forum!
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education experiences global resources the cider press projects digital market permies.com private forums all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Nicole Alderman
  • r ranson
  • Anne Miller
  • paul wheaton
stewards:
  • Mike Jay
  • Jocelyn Campbell
  • Miles Flansburg
garden masters:
  • Dan Boone
  • Dave Burton
  • Steve Thorn
  • Greg Martin
gardeners:
  • Shawn Klassen-Koop
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Mike Barkley

Last night

 
pioneer
Posts: 855
Location: 4b
137
bee building dog forest garden trees
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My baby brother died last night.  He was only 33. I don't really know what to do.
 
Posts: 6906
Location: Arkansas Ozarks zone 7 alluvial,black,deep loam/clay with few rocks, wonderful creek bottom!
935
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
oh Trace...I'm so sorry.

 
garden master
Posts: 998
Location: Maine, zone 5
246
food preservation forest garden homestead solar trees wood heat
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
So very sorry too Trace :(
 
gardener
Posts: 1882
Location: West Tennessee
472
books building cat chicken food preservation homestead cooking purity trees
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I'm so sorry Trace. I'm speechless.
 
master pollinator
Posts: 10975
Location: Central Texas USA Latitude 30 Zone 8
577
cat chicken fiber arts fish forest garden greening the desert trees wood heat
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
How awful and sad.
 
garden master
Posts: 3306
Location: Greater Houston, TX US Hardy:9a Annual Precipitation: 44.78" Wind:13.23mph Temperature:42.5-95F
1174
books forest garden greening the desert tiny house transportation urban
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Please be sure to take good care of yourself, Trace. Please eat enough food; please go to bed and sleep when you feel tired. Please be sure to talk to people when you are upset.
 
steward
Posts: 4142
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
1034
books food preservation hunting solar trees woodworking
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Oh Trace, I'm so sorry.  I don't have the words to help but hopefully you have family or friends you can just hug and cry with.  
 
Posts: 40
Location: Douglas County, WI zone 4a 105 acres
6
fungi pig solar
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your brother, Trace. Please take care of yourself as others have suggested. Let yourself feel your feelings, even if there is some guilt or anger (common), but try not to dwell on those. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need, and think of the good times and the positives of your brother's life/legacy. Talk and share with others - proud of you that you did that here. Grief support groups are common in every locale at no cost. If you are affiliated with a church or religion, clergy are well-trained to help you with sudden loss. It's going to be a process, and the only thing you can "do" is take your time to get thru it in a healthy way. Sending support and best wishes, MB.
 
steward
Posts: 4615
Location: Zones 2-4 Wyoming and 4-5 Colorado
438
bee books forest garden fungi greening the desert hugelkultur
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Trace, I lost one of my brothers a few years back. Aorta exploded. I do not know if you are a spiritual person but please have faith that you will see him again. He will always be part of you and you part of him. Cry when you need to and smile when you think of him. Watch for subtle signs that he is still around. Keep moving forward and live life as he would want you to do. Peace to you and your family.
 
Trace Oswald
pioneer
Posts: 855
Location: 4b
137
bee building dog forest garden trees
  • Likes 13
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Thank you all.

Miles, you may find this interesting.  I do.  I'm not religious, I'm not even spiritual, but I read your post about watching for subtle signs of him.  Here is a not-so-subtle thing that happened to me.  I was at my parent's house sitting in the sun room with them, making funeral arrangements for my brother.  A huge grey owl flew down and landed on a branch near the window and just sat watching us for 5 or 10 minutes before flying off.  I've never seen one there before.  I'm choosing to believe that was my brother letting us know he was there.
 
Miles Flansburg
steward
Posts: 4615
Location: Zones 2-4 Wyoming and 4-5 Colorado
438
bee books forest garden fungi greening the desert hugelkultur
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Trace, that is exactly what I was talking about. My brother was a huge big game hunter. Elk where his love. I live in a suburb south of Denver. After his death I was driving to work on a very foggy day. Suddenly out of the fog came a large herd of elk , crossing the road right in front of me. I have never seen elk in the city, before or since.

My father planted several apricot trees , they never bloomed or had fruit. We talked several times about what we could due to correct this. The spring after his death the trees bloomed and where loaded with fruit.

I have several other stories like this that convince me that there is more to us than just this life we see and live.
 
pollinator
Posts: 319
Location: PNW
61
books food preservation homestead cooking tiny house trees
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I am sorry too. That sucks so badly. ;(
 
master pollinator
Posts: 8277
Location: Victoria British Columbia-Canada
634
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
If he had children, the best thing you can do, is to make yourself available to them. Aunts and uncles become much more important to children who are orphaned.
 
gardener
Posts: 1627
Location: Officially Zone 7b, according to personal obsevations I live in 7a, SW Tennessee
517
bee books food preservation forest garden cooking
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I am pleased that you have found some comfort. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter the pain you feel, life does continue. Allow yourself to feel the joys in your life as they occur. Having a good moment despite his absence does not equate to disloyalty
 
Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme and some don't. And some poems are a tiny ad.
permaculture bootcamp - learn permaculture through a little hard work
https://permies.com/wiki/bootcamp
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!