Oh Trace, I'm so sorry. I don't have the words to help but hopefully you have family or friends you can just hug and cry with.
The permie formerly known as "Mike Jay"
"Hundreds of years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in or the type of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that it becomes a tourist destination"
So sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your brother, Trace. Please take care of yourself as others have suggested. Let yourself feel your feelings, even if there is some guilt or anger (common), but try not to dwell on those. Allow yourself to cry as much as you need, and think of the good times and the positives of your brother's life/legacy. Talk and share with others - proud of you that you did that here. Grief support groups are common in every locale at no cost. If you are affiliated with a church or religion, clergy are well-trained to help you with sudden loss. It's going to be a process, and the only thing you can "do" is take your time to get thru it in a healthy way. Sending support and best wishes, MB.
Innovations that are guided by smallholder farmers, adapted to local circumstances, and sustainable for the economy and environment will be necessary to ensure food security in the future. Bill Gates
Trace, I lost one of my brothers a few years back. Aorta exploded. I do not know if you are a spiritual person but please have faith that you will see him again. He will always be part of you and you part of him. Cry when you need to and smile when you think of him. Watch for subtle signs that he is still around. Keep moving forward and live life as he would want you to do. Peace to you and your family.
Miles, you may find this interesting. I do. I'm not religious, I'm not even spiritual, but I read your post about watching for subtle signs of him. Here is a not-so-subtle thing that happened to me. I was at my parent's house sitting in the sun room with them, making funeral arrangements for my brother. A huge grey owl flew down and landed on a branch near the window and just sat watching us for 5 or 10 minutes before flying off. I've never seen one there before. I'm choosing to believe that was my brother letting us know he was there.
Trace, that is exactly what I was talking about. My brother was a huge big game hunter. Elk where his love. I live in a suburb south of Denver. After his death I was driving to work on a very foggy day. Suddenly out of the fog came a large herd of elk , crossing the road right in front of me. I have never seen elk in the city, before or since.
My father planted several apricot trees , they never bloomed or had fruit. We talked several times about what we could due to correct this. The spring after his death the trees bloomed and where loaded with fruit.
I have several other stories like this that convince me that there is more to us than just this life we see and live.
I am pleased that you have found some comfort. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter the pain you feel, life does continue. Allow yourself to feel the joys in your life as they occur. Having a good moment despite his absence does not equate to disloyalty
Men call me Jim. Women look past me to this tiny ad:
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