Stacy Witscher wrote:I like my life cafeteria style. I pick and choose what I believe in and don't just whole hog agree with pretty much anyone. Sometimes I get lonely, but I'm not willing to compromise my beliefs for anyone.
Ed Belote wrote: Thoughts become words, words become actions. Change your thoughts and everything else will follow.
F Agricola wrote:As a consequence I keep things private to avoid scepticism and criticism: ‘stop with all those negative vibes, baby’!
F Agricola wrote:
However, this just makes people think I’m a lazy, bad tempered, pain in the arse who’s preoccupied with career. NO, I am a bad tempered, pain in the arse who is preoccupied making very solid and detailed plans for retirement away from most of them!
F Agricola wrote:There’s a few who can appreciate and somewhat understand the ‘alternative farming’ (Permaculture) thing and the interactions of soil, plants, animals, weather, etc (basically nature). With those family members I have meaningful discussions, although it’s obvious they aren’t willing to step outside of their comfort zones.
James Freyr wrote: For me, coping with being “not normal” wasn’t really actively using coping mechanisms or anything, but learning to not care what others think, and that came with age for me. Now in my early forty’s, things are much easier. I think part of it came from a realization I had a year or two ago, and I thought “statistically, I’m half way through my life;
Dave Burton wrote:Being different is difficult, and doing things that are not "normal" are hard. I had not realized just how so emotionally difficult this can be, until now. And I am struggling to not become a porcupine and tell other people, "Well, stop gawking and move on with your life, would you?!? Unless you have a genuine interest and question about what I am doing and why I am doing it, fuck off!!! I don't want to hear anymore stupid or inane comments, thank you kindly!"
Lucrecia Anderson wrote:
I edited my comment since I read all the followups (should have done that first). Sometimes people make comments not to be hostile/critical, but just for conversation! Like the wonder bread comment in response to the book you were reading. I would not have interpreted that as critical at all, just taken it as a comment/conversation starter. It could also be a cultural thing.
Hate to get all pop psychology here but....if you dislike most of the people around you then perhaps you interpret their innocent off the cuff comments as them disliking you?
Joel Bercardin wrote: By the way, given the little description of who you are & what you like to do (opening post), why don't you think about posting on the "simple pleasures" thread? That's one of the places where people's wonderful individuality is being expressed here. https://permies.com/t/67524/simple-pleasures-day-add
Mike Barkley wrote:Might I suggest getting out of Houston for a while? It's a rat race with too many rats in the cage. Camping at Inks Lake or New Braunfels/Guadalupe River always worked wonders for me. But keep flying your freak flag proudly!!! Ya'll.
to be able to live without being umbilically attached to the grid and to wal-mart?
I'd like to think so, but sadly that is not completely the case. I just got back to work after a four-month LOA because the guy I work with one on one 45+ hours a week was destroying my brain. As a welder on a two-man crew, and his subordinate, I was being micromanaged to break protocols. I brought this up to the management with no effect. I tried to bid a carpenter job on a bridges gang, and then found out I'm locked into this position for 4 years. I became an insomniac and then wrote off my car in January in a pretty serious accident. I had a week vacation time at the end of May, planted my garden, and then my brain melted down just before I was due to go back to work (call it an anxiety based nervous breakdown or something like that, but I caught it before it got absolute and completely out of hand) -and I called the Employee Assistance Program and talked to a counselor, and then went to the doctor for a note. I've had to battle the insurance company, which originally denied my claim. I wrote a 5-page appeal that looks like a legal document. It's still up in the air if I'll get any money from those vampires. I went back to work last week because a position was posted with the other welding foreman, who's helper retried. I couldn't post a bid on the position while not being on the payroll. Turns out the company had not fully paid out the retired guy's vacation pay and the job posting was canceled. So I'm back to work with the idiot that I had before. I found out from my local supervisor (a really nice guy) that the upper management wants to discipline me for taking a leave (since it wasn't covered by the insurance company, they figure my case had no merit). I wrote an email to the Master Steward of the union detailing the situation, and forwarded an attachment of my appeal for the insurance claim and stated that I'm sure the media might be interested in the story if I don't see some action from some angle sometime soon. I'm pretty pissed off and motivated now that I have reset my sleep schedule and got my brain balanced out of the burnout, but I guess, considering the epic levels of male cattle excrement that I have been dealing with, I am managing alright. :) Thanks for your vote of confidence.
Sounds like you've sorted things out well, developed effective attitudes, and are managing your life well. 👍
Nicole Alderman wrote:
For the general public, look like a boring blank slate. Don't attract attention, anger, lust, or sterotyping based upon appearance. Clothing seems to be people's first impression, and I'd rather their first impression not be, "Why's she wearing a medieval gown in the grocery store?!" or "Why's her son have long hair held back by a rainbow hair clip??" (kid likes long hair and rainbows, but I'm positive that the combination would result in conversations with/condemnation from random strangers that I don't want my son to deal with when he's four) or "Look at her tatas."I just really, really don't want to get in a discussion, or have people judge me, or lust after me, or whatever. I'd rather go unnoticed. So, I dress normally and modestly with jeans and bland plaid. Nobody stares at my chest or wonders if I'm making a statement. I'm a blank slate.
Lucrecia Anderson wrote:....if you dislike most of the people around you then perhaps you interpret their innocent off the cuff comments as them disliking you?
Roberto pokachinni wrote:...
But I'd rather stay weird and free and youthful than stagnate in the homogeneity of being 'normal' ( <--WHATEVER THE F%@K THAT IS !! I dare you to define it without saying that it means culturally acceptable <--because it's not my culture).
I guess that's maybe the crux of all of what I see that this thread is really about. There is an entire 'culture' that has been created to keep a cultural norm in place that may not exist outside of the conservative few that completely believe in it in the first place. It's sort of a catch 22, a self perpetuating nightmare that is propped up by everybody assuming that the other's believe in it whole heartedly. I think the majority of people do not like to feel the pressure to look or be a certain way, but they do it simply to conform so that they are not excluded. They are not doing it so because they believe that it is really right and true to their heart's feelings.
Dave Burton wrote:I might have to repost this in a separate thread, but we'll see how this goes.
How does someone share what resonates with them (their little fire, their dreams, desires, and hopes) with people that care about them, when they differ from what their loved ones hope for them?
Dave Burton wrote:, because other people, especially my parents, have a dream for me of what they hope to see me become, and I am too afraid and worried to tell them, for fear of hurting their feelings, disappointing them, or even possibly receiving their wrath. I have trouble with this, because these people, my parents and friends, in particular are people who i know care about me, and so, I value their words and thoughts. And it pains my heart to be keeping what I feel is true to my person a secret from those who care about me.
Forget this weirdo. You guys wanna see something really neat? I just have to take off my shoe .... (hint: it's a tiny ad)
Dave Burton's Boot Adventures at Wheaton Labs and Basecamphttps://permies.com/t/119676/permaculture-projects/Dave-Burton-Boot-Adventures-Wheaton