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If you cut off your hand, what attachments would you like to have?

 
gardener
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In the Evil Dead movies, Ash had to cut off his hand because it turned evil and replaced it with the convenience of a chainsaw. That led me to wonder what Inspector Gadget-like attachments Pearl, our resident bricolagier, would come up with in a similar situation. Aside from the obvious chainsaw to prune her trees, I thought of one of Edward's scissorhands for sewing, pruning, haircutting/animal shearing, etc. What kind of attachments would you like if you found yourself in Ash's place?
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steward & bricolagier
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You make me giggle, Jordan :D

Let's see. I want an attachment that works like my sharpened ice cream scoop to remove the guts from squash. But if it was ... how to describe... two or three sharp curved blades that look like an egg when spinning... then it could shred the squash nicely too.

Many sewing attachments, too many to list.

One that has itty tiny manipulating fingers (mini-waldoes) and a magnifying glass for the itty things I do like jewelry and take apart cell phones.

And a basic selection of power tools: drill, vise, winch, hammer drill, air compressor, circular saw, vacuum, spotlights...  just the basics :D

ooh, a speech to typing thing so I can type faster with fewer typos!!

:D

 
rocket scientist
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Well, we obviously need a quick change arrangement for all the "handy" (pun intended) attachments a Permie might want!
 
Jordan Holland
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thomas rubino wrote:Well, we obviously need a quick change arrangement for all the "handy" (pun intended) attachments a Permie might want!



Why, of course!

Thomas, how about a nice little flamethrower that can quickly start a rocket mass heater? Sounds right up your alley!
 
master pollinator
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Dunno.

That Wolverine knuckle-knife thing would be pretty handy for chop-and-drop, topping carrots, making RMH kindling, aerating soil without disturbing layers, and giving invasive rodents nightmares.

I could work with that.

Edit: And I wouldn't wear holes in the pockets of my jeans from all the hardware I carry around. Woo!
 
Pearl Sutton
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Oh hey! Ever read the James Rollins Books? Monk Kokkalis lost his hand in the Judas Strain, and they gave him a prosthetic that he could unhook and let it go do things for him.  I want that!! Send it on missions!!
Although, in that case, a WHOLE new compost pile of worms opens up....
"go get my chainsaw attachment"  hand crawls off, comes back with it.   Oooh!! I WANT!!   :D
 
pollinator
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I'd be perfectly pleased with "just" a mass of miniature tentacles that could grasp, hold on to, and otherwise manipulate a bunch of little things. Think more like a friendly Doctor Octopus, though instead of emerging from my back or whatever, the mini-tentacles spring from my hand/stump like the creepy Doctor in Hellraiser II. But I promise to be friendly.
 
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Our fantasy, is this man's reality!
 
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Oh, what is the name of that one where the woman ends up with a Machine gun, in place of her leg... that's an interesting concept, too. But, too keep it permies, I'd want maybe interchangeable pogo stick, post digger, snow shovel(hey that could be a fun way to shovel snow, if you have a snowmobile...
 
Jordan Holland
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Carla Burke wrote:Oh, what is the name of that one where the woman ends up with a Machine gun, in place of her leg... that's an interesting concept, too. But, too keep it permies, if want maybe interchangeable pogo stick, post digger, snow shovel(hey that could be a fun way to shovel snow, if you have a snowmobile...



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Carla Burke
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Yup, that's the one, lol!
 
pollinator
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It has to be the saw. "Come get some".
 
gardener
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A socket that accepts Dewalt or Milwaukee tools
 
pollinator
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If I lose my hand, I want it replaced by David Horne's hand.
 
gardener
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i’m not sure i’d use it for ‘permaculture purposes’. i think i’d go with an improved hand with 8+ fingers and multiple opposable thumbs (both sides). then i would play some wild piano.
 
gardener
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I want R2-D2 style hacking tools. That droid is the key to overcoming all plot dilemmas. Ahh. I don't really have computer problems.

Maybe a whisk?

It would be hard to accidentally poke your eye out with a whisk.
 
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OK - I know this is just for fun, but just to say where reality was 35 years ago, I knew a fellow who lost one hand in an industrial accident. He was in the building industry and was struggling to figure out how he could return to work and keep up. He talked the Workers Compensation people into doing essentially what Robert Ray asked for - a specially made socket to fit 2 or 3 of the power tools he used the most. The amazing thing was that he figured they'd done such a great job, that for those tasks he could actually work *faster* than he could before the accident!

It wouldn't be worth losing a hand over, but your dreams could be reality people - well some of your dreams. We're definitely not to the point of disconnecting one's artificial hand and sending it off on errands!
 
Douglas Alpenstock
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L. Johnson wrote:It would be hard to accidentally poke your eye out with a whisk.


Well, that's true. With a Wolverine slice-and-dice hand, what happens when you have a bad dream?
 
pollinator
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A seeder...

...ummm, yes a humble seeder, but with exchangeable seed rollers to suit all sizes of seed...

...connected to a pocket in my shirt re-designed as hopper...




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thomas rubino
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The Good News is the quick change!  
You can have it all! (If you can afford it)
Flamethrowers for rmh lighting, a seeder, a machete, pruning shears, tentacles anything we can dream up, and 3/D print!
Schedule your hand removal asap... supplies are limited!
 
Carla Burke
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thomas rubino wrote:The Good News is the quick change!  
You can have it all! (If you can afford it)
Flamethrowers for rmh lighting, a seeder, a machete, pruning shears, tentacles anything we can dream up, and 3/D print!
Schedule your hand removal asap... supplies are limited!



Nice list!! Let's add a winch, a nice pulley (feeding out rope, cable, etc would never burn through yer gloves, again - and imagine zip-lining, for both faster moving on these crazy hills, and FUN!), a shepard's hook(get BACK here, Kola!), nail gun, drill/ screw gun...
 
pollinator
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I'm still fond of the classic hook. When I was in kindergarten, a railway worker with a hook came to talk to us about railroad safety. He'd been hanging out the side of a train car doing something, not paying attention to what was coming up next to him, and got his hand pulled off. His talk definitely did not have the intended effect on me. For at least a year after, I was obsessed with coming up with ways I could lose a hand without it hurting too much. Eventually the boring, practical adults in my life convinced me that having a hook would be much less convenient than a hand. So I compromised. By then, I'd met a couple guys missing fingers, which opened up new possibilities. I settled on just losing a pinky - still exotic, but not too inconvenient.

I think I'd want something along the lines of greg's additional fingered hand. I'd want super fine motor control so I could manipulate tiny things accurately.
 
Jordan Holland
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Kai's arm brace from Lexx would be cool as a hand, even though it was just mounted to his wrist. Maybe a modification to the blades/pincers to make it more dexterous like a hand would be good. It worked as a grapling hook, winch, scissors, guillotine, boomerang, etc.
 
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Galvarino was a famous Mapuche warrior from South America.
When the Spanish cut off his hand to be a lesson to others to submit, he offered his other hand next.
And when he got back to his people he attached lances or spears to his arm-stumps.
He fought well until his demise.

But that's TWO prosthetics... so maybe it's not appropriate for this thread...?
 
I guess I've been abducted by space aliens. So unprofessional. They tried to probe me with this tiny ad:
rocket mass heater risers: materials and design eBook
https://permies.com/w/risers-ebook
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