Dez's Bootcamp Experience (BRK)

POST 366 (DAY 376, Friday, 2021.8.20)
[Morning Entry]

.... random.. had a dream I was wearing a giant sombrero that hung down to the floor.. face and entire body painted in black, white, and yellow, to give the effect of a golden-nugget camouflage.. b1ll murr2y was nearby and he was wearing the same outfit.. he had the thousand mile stare, and everyone found that hilariously entertaining.. we were both part of a group of 6 friends doing something in the rain.. also we all wore invisible ponchos.. barefoot and happy to be there.. I also dreamt I called the hay-guy to order some mulch..

Hmm, Bill Murray in a bee costume with a sombrero sounds familiar...

POST 367 (DAY 377, Saturday, 2021.8.21)
[Morning Entry]

.... they say relationships are hard work.. whether it’s a friendship or a partnership or family relationships or coworkers or something else.. two or more different humans melding differing opinions and preferences in an effort to be social beings.. my personal preference would be relationships that are not hard work; rather, I want easy flowing.. “but that’s impossible!”, somebody in my head adamantly exclaims.. really?.. is it really impossible? Who are the people that are saying this? And do they really know all different possibilities? And if so, would I still choose to believe their belief for myself?.. I might have before, chosen to believe that bleak outcome.. but not anymore—no longer do I believe that relationships are difficult “or else”.. for two reasons, one is I don’t like that belief that does not serve me.. and two is that I’m idealistic about this endeavor in life, so I choose things that I want.. “oh you’re living in a fantasy! Your head must be up your arse!”, somebody in my head adamantly exclaims.. and it’s true—a truly unpopular belief, is what I want for my journey.. perhaps a truly unique and impossible outcome.. a fantasy.. surely we all dream of something.. if we don’t dream, we don’t get to experience the fantastic.. a fantastic community..

Hi Dez. About relationships ... I do not think they have to be difficult. But for your relationship to be 'not difficult' you need to work, work on keeping your relationship 'not difficult', together.
In a relationship there are (two) different human beings. Being different doesn't have to be difficult. But if you don't want to do the needed efforts, it will become difficult. The most important effort is: open communication! Tell what's on your mind, without wanting to 'be right', and of course without starting a fight. This is my opinion and experience. (hoping I don't sound like I want to be right)

POST 368 (DAY 378, Sunday, 2021.8.22)
[Morning Entry]

.... a nice easy stroll through town, with donuts, wine, overcasty-cool weather, art galleries, eye-shopping, and experiencing the experience.. I really do feel like a robot sometimes, because not much seems novel (anymore).. there was a time when just hanging out was fun.. now going into a store for my floss inventory restock is more exciting than eating at a new restaurant.. “been there done that”.. I still enjoy things, definitely—it’s just not novel enjoyment.. if that makes sense.. a group of us went to the river the other day and I sat in the car while a few went in dip their feet.. a voice in my head asked, “don’t you wanna go look at the river closer?”.. “nah, I’m pretty darn good here and just looking..” ..maybe this is part of becoming an old man?.. anyway, we get to the second part of the same river.. but this part is more of a sitting area with benches and little step down areas to get into the river, where the fishers bring their gear and do their fishing thing.. this time i get out of the car to touch the water's edge.. one guy (Snowflake) gets right in and proceeds to cross to the other side of the river!.. its great that he's having a good time and really experiencing this river's offerings.. i actually took off my shoes this time and dipped my feet in because it was quite a warm day.. and soon it was time to move along, so i dry my feet and head back to the car.. how was it?--did i feel more experienced with joy because i dipped my feet?.. i'm not sure that that's my goal anymore.. it felt a lot like the last time i dipped my feet on a hot day, which was really nice and refreshing..  yet where's my palate or thirst for the sheer joy of it?.. i dont know that i have it anymore.. as depressing as that may sound, i dont think im depressed.. the things that light up my joy are just no longer the same things.. an evolution of sorts is occurring.. the new novel arises, as the previous novel is shelved into memory banks and imagination libraries.. thats all.. and i'm pretty excited about the new novel.. "novel" meaning "new things/feelings, as if for the first time".. you know--like strawberry cheesecake ice cream--its delicious to me!.. its flavor/texture still fresh in my mind.. maybe i'll eat it again someday, but today i'm excited for the next flavor buffet.. maybe part of this new flavor buffet is the excitement i feel when i restock my floss inventory.. =)

Wez and Joel— thanks for your readerships.. I write for myself as well as for anyone out there that’s interested.. hopefully it’s somewhat relevant to folks.. :)

Dez Choi wrote:.....maybe part of this new flavor buffet is the excitement i feel when i restock my floss inventory.. =)

".....A monk told Joshu: “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”
Joshu asked: “Have you eaten your rice porridge?”
The monk replied: “I have eaten.”
Joshu said: “Then you had better wash your bowl.”
At that moment the monk was enlightened....."  --Zen Koan

One of my favorites.  Perhaps this is a next phase you are transitioning into?.....  Nice blog and buildings!

Regarding relationships, a person can expend a lot of energy/spoons in an attempt to either change others to fit their own beliefs, or to change their own beliefs/ways to fit in with others- to exert control or give in to minimize conflict respectively. However I believe that a person can instead be true to who they are, and also work with others in a harmonious way based on accepting that we are all different in various ways but that doesn't mean we are at odds with each other. I guess it's a form of giving in, and perhaps that is easily taken advantage of by the next person. My head starts swimming with Taoist analogies of flowing water and stones since you mentioned dipping your feet in the river Dez.

I also see the river analogous to an extent with enjoyment in life or finding joy. On that one river there are a lot of different locations to see and lots of different activities to do with various people we meet. Focusing on a single one over and over could lead to boredom or loss of novel joy, or if you're taking Alan Booker's Observation for Design course perhaps it gives you time to focus on the many things we ignore or take for granted at a given spot. We sink in and really soak up every detail and come to appreciate that spot even more, and then use that expanded awareness at future spots on the river, and hopefully appreciate every spot even more. Or we bring a Kindle to the river and ignore it all.