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Ruin a Wish- A Game.

 
gardener
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This is one of my two favorite forum games ever. In this game, you get to wish for whatever you want, but you may not "get" what you expect. And you get to be a slightly devious genie grants the wish of the person above you in an unexpected (and typically less than desirable) way.

This is a game, not a gifting thread, so you won't actually give or get anything except words.

When you play, you answer the wish of the person above you, then make a wish of your own. Please don't write a novel, a sentence or two is usually sufficient for both the wisher and the genie's response.

for example:

Person 1: I wish for a chili dog

Person 2: Granted! you suddenly find a very cold dachsund in your barn.

I wish for ...

You don't have to make the keywords bold if you don't want to, but using them makes it easier to scan the posts. You can reply to the previous post and crop only the wish if you choose, that will usually notify the person that their wish was granted.

In my example the Genie gave a pun of the wish, but there are many ways to ruin a wish, such as following the wording rather than the intent, adding details the wisher may not have desired, or just going further than the wisher probably intended. You can make you wish as reasonable, exuberant and/or idealistic as you'd like, just know it will be ruined. Have fun :)

Here we go....

I wish for the ability to download books directly to my brain.
 
pollinator
Posts: 976
Location: Porter, Indiana
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Cat Knight wrote:
I wish for the ability to download books directly to my brain.


Granted! Unfortunately, after downloading your first book it takes 12 hours of surgery (and 6 months of rehabilitation) to remove all the pages from your brain. Luckily, you downloaded a paperback instead of a hardback.

I wish for the ability to teleport myself.
 
master gardener
Posts: 4320
Location: Upstate NY, Zone 5, 43 inch Avg. Rainfall
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John Wolfram wrote:

I wish for the ability to teleport myself.



Granted! You can only teleport yourself to the same Subway location.

I wish for  A flock of chickens.
 
pollinator
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Granted! Unfortunately, the breading is a little soggy and they're not in Dino shapes.
I wish for a million bucks!
 
gardener
Posts: 2217
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
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Granted! ...after they decimate your garden and the garden of all your neighbors for miles... they leave, in search of a million does.
I wish for an unlimited supply of steak.
 
pollinator
Posts: 307
Location: Klumbis Oh Hah, Zone 6
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Granted! However, the hired assassins sent by the beef industry, who quickly catch wind of this potential competition, will tend to hamper your ability to sit and enjoy the steaks.

I wish for the ability to instantly master any musical instrument I touch.
 
pollinator
Posts: 177
Location: Oh-Hi-Oh to New Mexico (soon)
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Granted! And the first musical instrument you touch is a Kazoo, which because of your obsession over it's mastery becomes the ONLY instrument you ever play again.
I wish for world peace!

 
Posts: 72
Location: London, UK
43
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Granted! Unfortunately now that every military has been disbanded, some aliens have taken the opportunity to invade Earth.

I wish for a plate of rhubarb crumble.
 
Cat Knight
gardener
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Addy Fletcher wrote:
I wish for a plate of rhubarb crumble.



Granted! It smells wonderful and is the best you've ever had, but it and the plate are smaller than a thimble and sized for a dollhouse, so you never stop thinking about it.

I wish for the ability to turn off my allergies.
 
master gardener
Posts: 3383
Location: Carlton County, Minnesota, USA: 3b; Dfb; sandy loam; in the woods
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Cat Knight wrote:I wish for the ability to turn off my allergies.


Granted! You've turned your allergies off by disabling your immune system...whoops!
I wish for delivery of a truckload of free, perfect, organic compost each month from May to September, for the rest of my life.
 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 2217
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
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Granted! But you did not read the fine print. This compost will be perfect organic compost... just add water and carbon... and stir every other week for 6 months. For now, your family is quite upset with the pile of fresh manure sitting on the front lawn.
I wish that everyone had plenty of time for their gardens AND permies.com at the same time.
 
Addy Fletcher
Posts: 72
Location: London, UK
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Granted! Now you become paranoid about whether your cats are actually dancing as you never see the evidence.

I wish for all of my clothes to be mended.
 
pollinator
Posts: 174
Location: northern lower peninsula of Michigan
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Your mending is completedby a very proud duo of my two year old grandson and his four year old sister working/playing in tandem. Their proud smiles are bigger than yours as you survey the results of needle, thread and scissors in those busy little hands.....
 I would like a normal size fishpond with a small waterfall to aerate it.
 
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 I would like a normal size fishpond with a small waterfall to aerate it.


Granted: unfortunately that nifty sand you got for the bottom turned out to be jello mix. Well I guess on the bright side if you could flip it over on a plate it would make an eye catching center piece with all those bright colored fish in it.

I wish for a mature one acre food forest near my house.
 
Candace Williams
pollinator
Posts: 174
Location: northern lower peninsula of Michigan
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Your very mature food stinks to high heaven even though it is all dumped among the big old trees on your homestead. The heaps and heaps of ever more maturing food are a bit overwhelming. Better get some heavy equipment to pour some carbon on top quick!! Yikes!
 I would like new interesting looking, sweet smelling, two seater,  willow feeding outhouse.
 
gardener
Posts: 390
Location: SW VT, sandy loam, valley, zone 5a
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“ I would like new interesting looking, sweet smelling, two seater,  willow feeding outhouse.”

Granted! I hope you don’t mind that it’s a quarter mile from your house. Or the ladder, because it’s in the form of a treehouse in a tall old willow tree, sweetened with a thatched roof of sweet flag. (Stay clear when someone is inside.)

I wish for a large patch of mayapple that fruits reliably.
 
gardener
Posts: 1331
Location: Miami, 11a, Am, apartment dweller
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Maieshe Ljin wrote: I wish for a large patch of mayapple that fruits reliably.



Granted! This large patch fruits prodigiously, but never ripens, locking the green fruits in their toxic state.

Great idea Cat! What a fun forum game.

I wish this thread would go on forever.
 
steward
Posts: 15517
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
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Granted! In a post apocalyptic world we are all pedaling bikes to power our phones so we can compulsively play this game until the sweet release of death.

I wish for the historically average amount of weekly rain (for my area) to fall on Monday nights
 
Christopher Weeks
master gardener
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Mike Haasl wrote:I wish for the historically average amount of weekly rain (for my area) to fall on Monday nights


Granted! Sadly, the historical average rainfall in your area, over the lifespan of the universe, approaches zero and after a couple years, all life has blown away leaving behind a Mars-scape.

I wish my pole-shed hadn't collapsed in the big snow last December.
 
Candace Williams
pollinator
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Simple! Your pole shed didn't collapse! It was only athe subject of a vivid nightmare! When you awoke , panting and white knuckles it was such a relief to realize that whole shed idea was so real but noo........
 I would like to have the pile of dirty dishes, clean, stacked in the cupboard and ready to reuse.
 
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 14680
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Candace Williams wrote:
 I would like to have the pile of dirty dishes, clean, stacked in the cupboard and ready to reuse.



Granted! The person who broke in and took all your dishes is very happy to have them neatly stacked in their cupboard!

I wish the guy who lives at the top of the road would quit blasting horrible ground shaking music as he drives by.
 
Mike Haasl
steward
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Granted! He just moved down the hill to be next door to you so he doesn't have to drive by any more.

I wish I had a million US dollars in $20 bills.
 
Cat Knight
gardener
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Mike Haasl wrote:

I wish I had a million US dollars in $20 bills.



Granted! On closer inspection, though, they are only printed on one side and seem to be on cheap copy paper.

I wish the angry neighbor would move away
 
master steward
Posts: 12490
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
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Mike Haasl wrote: I had a million US dollars in $20 bills.


Granted: Unfortunately, the guy you got them from is a forger, and now you're having to answer a lot of questions for the FBI.

I wish that my duck, Salty, on Muscovy eggs, hatches all 12 eggs!
 
Posts: 14
Location: Isle of Wight County, Virginia United States
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Granted! But at the rate our politicians accrue debt, in 10 years time it may be worth $10, and of course don't forget a significant portion of that will go to taxes, to fund nefarious activities.

I wish Probably regret this, but I wish I could see soil microbes with the naked eye.
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
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markus Carroll wrote:
I wish Probably regret this, but I wish I could see soil microbes with the naked eye.



Granted! But when you see what they are doing, you turn white, throw up, and never go out in the yard again.

I wish I had wings!
 
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Pearl Sutton wrote:

markus Carroll wrote:
I wish Probably regret this, but I wish I could see soil microbes with the naked eye.



Granted! But when you see what they are doing, you turn white, throw up, and never go out in the yard again.

I wish I had wings!



Granted. Unfortunately you have butterfly wings and you weigh 120 lb.

I wish for my house to clear itself up.
 
master pollinator
Posts: 1751
Location: Ashhurst New Zealand (Cfb - oceanic temperate)
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Granted! Your house is now constructed from a transparent membrane of some sort of film, and everybody on the outside can see what everybody on the inside is doing. Oh, and the insulation value of this lovely clear substance is about zero, so you're going to roast in the summer and freeze your sensitive parts in the winter.

I wish that my car hadn't been totaled this afternoon. At least no one was hurt.
 
Maieshe Ljin
gardener
Posts: 390
Location: SW VT, sandy loam, valley, zone 5a
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Granted! Your car wasn’t totaled, it was halved.

I wish that the noisy road would disappear.
 
Posts: 45
Location: PNW, Zone 8b, Cascades Washington
22
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I guess I’m doing all three wishes like a proper genie

I wish the angry neighbor would move away.


Granted. The neighbor was called away to manage a long term road construction project. In other good news - he comes home unbelievably tired. His mighty snoring rolls peacefully across the hood throughout the night.

I wish that my duck, Salty, on Muscovy eggs, hatches all 12 eggs!


Granted. Sorry, only 10 made it. The other two were covered with some white powder. I guess I’m not as all powerful as … In other good news - she speaks fluid Russian now!

I wish that the noisy road would disappear.



Granted. Next morning a road crew from Vogon & Sons started road removal and the dig for the new 12 lane interstate bypass, managed by a oddly angry foreman. Might be a splendid time to meet up with a friend at the local Pub.

I wish for one day everyone was incapable of lying like that Jim Carry's character in that movie.
 
Maieshe Ljin
gardener
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Granted. The police will take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to call a mass confession.

I wish chestnut blight never happened.
 
Christopher Weeks
master gardener
Posts: 3383
Location: Carlton County, Minnesota, USA: 3b; Dfb; sandy loam; in the woods
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Maieshe Ljin wrote:I wish chestnut blight never happened.



Granted! The chestnut never evolved -- et voilà, no chestnut blight!

I wish deer would stop pressuring my young apple trees.
 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 2217
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
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Christopher Weeks wrote: I wish deer would stop pressuring my young apple trees.



Granted - The deer respect the wish and do not eat your apple trees, but are irritated by losing their favorite food. As such, they destroy your neighbor's fence, allowing the neighbor's goats to enter your orchard and eat your apple trees to the ground.

I wish that when people gave each other apples on permies.com, that it would turn into real apples at the recipients home.
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 14680
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Matt McSpadden wrote:
I wish that when people gave each other apples on permies.com, that it would turn into real apples at the recipients home.



Granted! But since permies apples are so awesome, they are 30 feet across, and come flying in like a meteor strike and splat horribly on your house. Admittedly, when you move all the pulp to your compost area, it's great compost, BUT since you tend to write good posts... INCOMING!!

I wish owls flew more in the daylight so I could see how pretty they are!
 
Jay Angler
master steward
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Pearl Sutton wrote:I wish owls flew more in the daylight so I could see how pretty they are!



Granted! However, bright sunlight hurts their eyes because their eyes have adapted to night flying for centuries, so to protect their eyes, there's now a heavy layer of cloud all day, which is rather hard on all our growies.

I wish we'd get rain... one inch would be just fine.
 
Christopher Weeks
master gardener
Posts: 3383
Location: Carlton County, Minnesota, USA: 3b; Dfb; sandy loam; in the woods
1652
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Jay Angler wrote:I wish we'd get rain... one inch would be just fine.



Granted! It rains in a one inch wide line that cuts across the middle of your property. Better than nothing, but maybe not what you were hoping for.

I wish my daughter didn't have to go back to college tomorrow.
 
Maieshe Ljin
gardener
Posts: 390
Location: SW VT, sandy loam, valley, zone 5a
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You knew this was coming, but granted! She is expelled because of a name mix-up.

I wish everyone did permaculture. Then maybe I could get help with my weird projects.
 
Candace Williams
pollinator
Posts: 174
Location: northern lower peninsula of Michigan
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Now that everyone does permaculture you have folks shoulder to shoulder in your home and peeking in the windows, eager to help you!! It is a bit much to deal with all this eager appreciation of their new found love and of you their permaculture buddy!!!
I would like a pretty sandy path winding from to driveway to the door on which I could happily walk barefoot spring, summer and fall.
 
Make yourself as serene as a flower, as a tree. And on wednesdays, as serene as this tiny ad:
2024 Permaculture Adventure Bundle
https://permies.com/w/bundle
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