Search...
Home Subscribe
Pie
Home Subscribe
Recent topics Flagged topics Hot topics Best topics
Search...
Search within meaningless drivel Search permies
Advance search Google search
Register / Login
rocket stove mass heater
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
apropedia logo garden Free heat movie Full online Permaculture Design course and Appropriate Technology Course video IC.org solar dehydrator
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Carla Burke
  • John F Dean
  • Nancy Reading
  • r ranson
  • Jay Angler
  • Pearl Sutton
stewards:
  • paul wheaton
  • Devaka Cooray
  • Leigh Tate
master gardeners:
  • Timothy Norton
  • Christopher Weeks
gardeners:
  • Jeremy VanGelder
  • Matt McSpadden
  • thomas rubino

jokes

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 1775
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
719
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken food preservation building woodworking homestead
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
"I saw that" said Karma.

Win a free slice of Pie! - https://permies.com/t/251532/win-free-slice-pie-answering

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." C.S. Lewis
"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 11821
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
6612
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What’s an omnivore’s favorite food?

Zoo-chini.


What did the vegetable say to its love?

I love you from my head to-ma-toes.


Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep? It was pasta bedtime.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15369
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4759
7
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I replaced my rooster with a duck.  Now I get up at the quack of dawn.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2024 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15369
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4759
7
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have piles and piles of laundry to do.  I'm not sure which is worse...

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2024 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15369
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4759
7
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I walked in on my wife making love to her personal trainer.  I said "This isn't working out".

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2024 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15369
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
4759
7
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I told my doc that the hemorrhoid cream that she prescribed caused an awful reaction.  She asked where I applied it.  I said the bus.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
Come join me at the 2024 SKIP event at Wheaton Labs

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 month ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Today the forecast was partly cloudy.
Tomorrow the forecast is partly sunny.
How do they decide which one it is???

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 1775
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
719
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken food preservation building woodworking homestead
posted 3 weeks ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Don't wash your hair in the shower!
(It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful)

It involves the shampoo, when it runs down your body when you shower with it.... a warning to us all!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning... "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME".

No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well, I got rid of this shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dishwashing soap instead.
It's label reads... "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE".

Problem solved!

Win a free slice of Pie! - https://permies.com/t/251532/win-free-slice-pie-answering

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." C.S. Lewis
"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 6649
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2368
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 3 weeks ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Some people age like fine wine.  I aged like milk …sour and chunky.

At my age, Happy Hour is a nap.

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 14246
Location: SW Missouri
9651
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Windows : Please enter your new password.

User : cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

User : boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least 1 numerical character.

User : 1 boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must not have blank spaces.

User : 50bloodyboiledcabbages

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

User : 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

Windows : Sorry, the password must not have consecutive capital letters.

User : 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

Windows : Sorry, the password cannot contain a special character.

User : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

Windows : Sorry, this password is already in use.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Most bald people still own a comb............... they just can't part with it.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 14246
Location: SW Missouri
9651
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
People who think you get boring as you age have clearly never experienced the thrill of seeing two hummingbirds at the feeder at the same time!!

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 2 weeks ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Don't eat aluminum...........

or you'll sheet metal.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 week ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Today I realized that I am never going to have to worry about me and wife arguing about who's right or wrong.

Because I was lucky enough to find a wife who is never wrong.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 week ago
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
If your wife is mad at you, buy a fishing pole.
She'll still be mad at you but you will have a new fishing pole.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 6649
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2368
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig bee solar wood heat homestead
posted 1 week ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have found the hardest part about retirement is that I miss going to work and whining about not wanting to be there.

At my age, Happy Hour is a nap.

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 11821
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
6612
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 days ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Let's take a trip to the beach. I could really use some Vitamin Sea.



Which condiment adds the most kick?

Horseradish.


Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

There was nothing left but de bris

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 11821
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
6612
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 3 days ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat?                    Claude.


What do you call a dog magician?                         A labracadabrador.


What’s the least spoken language?               Sign language.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 14 hours ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, I have no idea what's going on and now I have to pee.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 799
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
484
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 14 hours ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you know a slice of apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahama's?

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and work all day. Tiny lumberjack ad:

World Domination Gardening 3-DVD set. Gardening with an excavator.
richsoil.com/wdg


reply
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!
Similar Threads
More...