Search...
Home Subscribe
Pie
Home Subscribe
Recent topics Flagged topics Hot topics Best topics
Search...
Search within meaningless drivel Search permies
Advance search Google search
Register / Login
gift
Unofficial Companion Guide to the Rocket Oven DVD
will be released to subscribers in: soon!
click here for details
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
Shovel black and white Oehler complete underground house and green house set permaculture bootcamp design PDC ATC vids Build your own pizza oven!
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Carla Burke
  • Nancy Reading
  • r ranson
  • John F Dean
  • Timothy Norton
  • paul wheaton
  • Jay Angler
stewards:
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Anne Miller
  • Tereza Okava
master gardeners:
  • Christopher Weeks
gardeners:
  • M Ljin
  • Matt McSpadden
  • Megan Palmer

jokes

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 2934
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
1489
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken food preservation building woodworking homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
"I saw that" said Karma.

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
Visit https://themaineingredient.com for organic, premium dried culinary herbs that are grown, processed, and packaged in the USA.

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What’s an omnivore’s favorite food?

Zoo-chini.


What did the vegetable say to its love?

I love you from my head to-ma-toes.


Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep? It was pasta bedtime.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I replaced my rooster with a duck.  Now I get up at the quack of dawn.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have piles and piles of laundry to do.  I'm not sure which is worse...

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I walked in on my wife making love to her personal trainer.  I said "This isn't working out".

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I told my doc that the hemorrhoid cream that she prescribed caused an awful reaction.  She asked where I applied it.  I said the bus.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Today the forecast was partly cloudy.
Tomorrow the forecast is partly sunny.
How do they decide which one it is???

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 2934
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
1489
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken food preservation building woodworking homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 12
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Don't wash your hair in the shower!
(It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful)

It involves the shampoo, when it runs down your body when you shower with it.... a warning to us all!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning... "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME".

No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well, I got rid of this shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dishwashing soap instead.
It's label reads... "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE".

Problem solved!

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
Visit https://themaineingredient.com for organic, premium dried culinary herbs that are grown, processed, and packaged in the USA.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 7719
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2854
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Some people age like fine wine.  I aged like milk …sour and chunky.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 15563
Location: SW Missouri
11317
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 13
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Windows : Please enter your new password.

User : cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

User : boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least 1 numerical character.

User : 1 boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must not have blank spaces.

User : 50bloodyboiledcabbages

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

User : 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

Windows : Sorry, the password must not have consecutive capital letters.

User : 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

Windows : Sorry, the password cannot contain a special character.

User : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

Windows : Sorry, this password is already in use.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Most bald people still own a comb............... they just can't part with it.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 15563
Location: SW Missouri
11317
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
People who think you get boring as you age have clearly never experienced the thrill of seeing two hummingbirds at the feeder at the same time!!

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Don't eat aluminum...........

or you'll sheet metal.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Today I realized that I am never going to have to worry about me and wife arguing about who's right or wrong.

Because I was lucky enough to find a wife who is never wrong.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
If your wife is mad at you, buy a fishing pole.
She'll still be mad at you but you will have a new fishing pole.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 7719
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2854
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have found the hardest part about retirement is that I miss going to work and whining about not wanting to be there.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Let's take a trip to the beach. I could really use some Vitamin Sea.



Which condiment adds the most kick?

Horseradish.


Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

There was nothing left but de bris

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do you call a Frenchman who has been attacked by a cat?                    Claude.


What do you call a dog magician?                         A labracadabrador.


What’s the least spoken language?               Sign language.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, I have no idea what's going on and now I have to pee.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Did you know a slice of apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahama's?

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Greg Martin
steward
Posts: 3502
Location: Maine, zone 5
2081
8
I like...
hugelkultur dog forest garden trees foraging food preservation cooking solar seed wood heat homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Green is, by far, my favorite color.

Heck, I love it as much as blue and yellow combined!

Permaculture...picking the lock back to Eden since 1978.
Pics of my Forest Garden

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I am going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder.
I can't keep pulling all the weight myself.

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Nancy Reading
steward and tree herder
Posts: 11162
Location: Isle of Skye, Scotland. Nearly 70 inches rain a year
5415
5
I like...
transportation dog forest garden foraging trees books food preservation woodworking wood heat rocket stoves ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What sort of a diet do lions have?

Roar food.

How Permies works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads
My projects on Skye: The tree field, Growing and landracing, perennial polycultures, "Don't dream it - be it! "

 
Little Jade
Posts: 7
Location: Illinois
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
What do you call a hippies wife?
 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.”  Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 10
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Someone told me that it’s impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I said that’s not nececelery true.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My wife left me because I'm so insecure :(

Oh wait, she was just out getting coffee.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 7719
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2854
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I have to confess that I always enjoy reading Pearl’s posts about dumpster diving.  As a baby, women like her saved my life many times.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
As I get older, I remember all of the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Jay Angler
master steward
Posts: 13963
Location: Pacific Wet Coast
8268
I like...
duck books chicken cooking food preservation ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

Visit Redhawk's soil series: https://permies.com/wiki/redhawk-soil
How permies.com works: https://permies.com/wiki/34193/permies-works-links-threads

 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
Posts: 15563
Location: SW Missouri
11317
2
I like...
goat cat fungi books chicken earthworks food preservation cooking building homestead ungarbage
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 7
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I got paid today, opened the envelope, there was no check, just a lot of parsley and a slice of orange.
Crap.
My wages have been garnished.

Gardens in my mind never need water
Castles in the air never have a wet basement
Well made buildings are fractal -- equally intelligent design at every level of detail.
Bright sparks remind others that they too can dance
What I am looking for is looking for me too!

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 7719
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2854
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
As I get older I find I only need 6 hours of sleep each day and another 8 hours each night.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

 
Dennis Barrow
pollinator
Posts: 910
Location: 10 miles NW of Helena Montana
517
I like...
hugelkultur chicken seed homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
They say that every hour you spend exercising is another hour added on to your life.
But what good is having all that time if you are just going to spend it on exercise?

Real funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes!

 
Little Jade
Posts: 7
Location: Illinois
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Little Jade wrote:What do you call a hippies wife?



Mississippi
 
Mike Haasl
steward
Posts: 15918
Location: Northern WI (zone 4)
5081
8
I like...
hunting trees books food preservation solar woodworking
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.  She looked surprised.

SKIP books, get 'em while they're hot!!! Skills to Inherit Property
See me in a movie building a massive wood staircase:Low Tech Lab Movie

 
K Eilander
gardener
Posts: 527
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
316
I like...
homeschooling forest garden building writing woodworking homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
Never let a fan fall over on its back.
(It might blow up.)

Be the shenanigans
you want to see in the world.

 
Matt McSpadden
gardener
Posts: 2934
Location: Central Maine (Zone 5a)
1489
I like...
homeschooling kids trees chicken food preservation building woodworking homestead
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I only know 25 letters of the English alphabet... I don't know why.

"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
Visit https://themaineingredient.com for organic, premium dried culinary herbs that are grown, processed, and packaged in the USA.

 
John F Dean
master steward
Posts: 7719
Location: southern Illinois, USA
2854
I like...
goat cat dog chicken composting toilet food preservation pig solar wood heat homestead composting
posted 1 year ago
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
    Send
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I reported my English prof for plagiarism when I realized she use the same 26 letters as Hemingway.

To be is to do …Kant
To do is to be ..Nietzsche
Do be do be do…Sinatra

 
Don't mess with me you fool! I'm cooking with gas! Here, read this tiny ad:
Rocket Mass Heater Resources Wiki
https://permies.com/w/rmh-resources
reply
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!
Similar Threads
More...